Grab your Ganeshas and collect your cats: The Elderberry Pavlovas in the Quest for the New Year clusterdiff (thread 25)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Thanks for your thoughts berries, she got her bfp, but her issue is miscarriage she lost her first at 24 weeks and another last year at 8. They are continuing monitoring her so fingers crossed for a sticky bean

I have also been hit with 4 pg announcements in the past two weeks rain and it sucks. Thankfully they are not people I will be around over Christmas, I feel for you. I too am still holding out for a miracle as am now two days late but as this is first AF post failed IVF it's liable to be off schedule and I feel like it will start anytime

Anyway, just arrived at sister-in-laws for the festive season, time to relax

A loss at 24 weeks! That's dreadful. The poor thing, she's not going to relax for a second is she.
Wonderful that she has her BFP but this is just the start!

lumen have your brought a ramekin?! not trying to raise your hopes or anything but I wasn't late after my failed IVF. Was bang on time (with added extra spotting again to leave me no room for doubt)

Hey Pip - sorry for the Gluckschmerz. I seem to be getting a bit better after mine over the last last week or so.

Lumen good news for your friend but fingers xd tightly for her

Smidge sounds like your having a lovely holiday!

Lol I even pimped yesterday! Bah fat chance of that working. Still you get your hopes up a little.

I was up at fc this morning as not had a "period" properly but just some spotting. I was getting worried as I had a coupla cysts last year. Well my ovaries have outdone themselves. I now have three! Got to start on noresthisterone tonight to induce a bleed, then the pill to regulate everything. If they're still there at baseline.... I Dont know... They might pop them! . Gawd knew something wasnt right... Gaaaaah!!

Rain how awful, I do not envy you and I hate when people bring the kids/babies to pubs. I think it's really inconsiderate to everyone else there just me being selfish I hope your Christmas isn't spoiled.

Smidge glad you are enjoying yourself! Has Mr S been over here before then? And yes you are definitely the most southern

Lumen so pleased your friend got her bfp and really will be hoping that this one is sticky. I am still hoping and crossing my fingers for your bfp.

Jellie sorry to hear the cysts are reoccurring, hopefully the pill will sort them out and you won't have a problem. Do they ever indicate what they think causes them? I'd love to know to try and get rid of mine.

Only half a day of work left for me!

Rain no idea what causes them... Maybe I need to start googling!

Squeeeee just pickled up an email! I've just won £100 of lidl vouchers from a thread on here in the chart section! Lol now that's made me . Think I might pick up a coupla bottles of their Champers!

Yes lovely holiday and MrS has been here with me a few times before, it's just we felt with finances all going on IVF and me not really working too, that the cost of 2 tickets this time round was excessive. Down side is of course not being together. think he wanted some naughty facetime today actually, but in a house where my parents are constantly hovering and wifi only works in the main areas of the house, that was definitely not an option

In other news I am feeling a bit shell shocked. I just sent a Christmas card off to an old uni friend who I don't really see that much any more but who used to be a really good friend (long story but kind of felt I was always putting in the effort and when I had a car accident several years ago and was laid up and couldn't drive for months afterwards and she never bothered came to visit, I kind of stopped making masses of effort myself. Still invited her to our wedding of only 50 people (including MrS and me) and we are friends on Facebook). Anyway, cue 10 mins after posting my very late Christmas card and up pops on Facebook an announcement that says she has welcomed her baby boy into the world this afternoon!! I didn't have a clue she was pregnant! I didn't have a clue she even wanted children (as far as I knew she didn't actually, it was one of the reasons she'd split from a previous long term bloke). I feel quite as if I've been hit in the chest with a bowling ball or something. It's a really odd feeling. Kind of makes me feel really lonely as it's like complete proof that we aren't close any more as she'd never even said. Her post on FB actually said it was 'after some extremely difficult times over the last few years' so i can only assume maybe they had been struggling(?) to conceive so I am glad they are happy etc, but I feel weirdly left out iykwim. They came to our wedding only a year ago. Oh I know it's not all about me, but all I can say now is I wish she had mentioned on FB that she was pregnant/ posted some pictures with an obvious belly etc, so it would have given me time to get used to it etc. I think I feel like it would to a bloke who suddenly gets told he has fathered a child!! Ha ha - the mother has 9 months to get used to the idea. I can suddenly imagine how the man feels now!

Please excuse the me me me posting here, I realise I'm being completely unreasonable and I am pleased for them, but I feel completely knocked for six. I think I just wanted to say that from now on I won't be bothered by pregnancy announcements, as I have suddenly discovered that completely unexpected baby announcements are far worse than having some time to get used to it.

Just to confirm, I did mean that my parents are constantly 'hovering' (outside my door/wherever I happen to be etc), not hoovering. Just in case you thought they were obsessive clean freaks.

Also, I think another part of the feeling I'm experiencing is embarrassment. I haven't told my parents / MrS her news as I feel ashamed that they'll be so surprised I didn't know. how terrible that I'm more concerned about how I'll look. (but it's coz it makes me feel I must be a really bad friend)

I 'liked' her post and said 'wow congratulations!' but fell short of adding 'I didn't even know you were pregnant' not sure if that is enough but I suspect she will be too busy right now to notice!

Hey Pip - sorry for the Gluckschmerz

Was there some? Makes a good dip for pita bread I understand.

smidge. Pregnancy announcements are bad enough but sudden baby announcements are enough to send you over the edge.

Hey y'all. Am awake early because I drank too much red wine last night. Making the most of a few days on the sauce before being booze free in 2015.

I'm sorry to hear about all the pg announcements. It's a special sort of kick in the guts. I am avoiding fb over the holidays as it gets me down too much.

lumen any sign of af? hopeful

smidge communication is two way so don't blame yourself entirely. Sometimes people just drift apart. I'm probably not the best person to comment mind, as I've become an antisocial hermit in the last year or so!

beaky hope your last few hours in the office go quickly!

Afm, Holiday is fab, weather is warm and the food is great. We're having a lovely time, despite the fact that PIL and SIL are struggling to behave themselves no change there. Families eh! I just retreat with a book when it all gets too much.

Hope everyone is feeling festive and in good spirits. Am on phone so can't go back easily and check in with everyone. Happy Christmas Eve!

smidge I had a similar thing - not the baby announcement but first I knew of a uni friend being pg was someone else asking if she was going to enjoy her year off work. I assumed she and new husband were off travelling but no, it was maternity leave
I think that was the final straw that led to me unfollowing everyone on fb and only ever going on the group pages.
Having said that, if I manage to give birth, I won't have broadcasted I'm pg given that we've lost two, and I don't want to put anything on fb given how all those announcements make me feel. Also, if it ever happens after 3 years I kind of want it for myself, in private, not updates to the world. The first people would know who hadn't seen me with a bump would probably be a photo of the kid on DH's fb with me tagged on it. If she's had a 'difficult few years' she might have been in the same position.

jellie I misread your post from yesterday and thought you now had three ovaries! Thought to myself 'that's damn clever, must improve chances, how do I grow another one ' But I do hope your cysts do one soon.

Your holiday sounds fab tiger, still no sign of AF but we are now at sils without pee sticks so if still no show on the weekend I will test again. MrL and I are both convinced it is the hangover from the IVF drugs and I still feel very af'y.

Sorry about the surprise baby announcement smidge. I swing from thinking 'if we get pg I won't mention it on fb so I don't cause the hurt I often feel' to 'I want to tell everyone what it has taken to get to this point and try to help stop the taboo of talking about infertility ' doubt MrL would let me post anything like that

Big hugs to you anyway and can you send your parents my way, I have some hoovering that needs doing

barking makes a really good point re announcing on fb, perhaps that's the case with your friend. Tbh if you've been struggling you don't tend to tell other people that you haven't seen in a long time about it, unless you are someone that is v open so it may well be they've had problems, then didn't want to tempt fate putting it on fb. I wouldn't worry, it's not your fault at all. Maybe you could private message her if you want to instigate more contact? It raises an interesting point though re announcing on fb. We all know how shit it is, so would we? I'm not on it so don't have that problem...if I was I'm not sure I would announce it but if people who knew me talked about it on there I wouldn't have a problem with it.

You are up early tiger!

lumen maybe you will be our Christmas miracle... Let yes know if you do another test.

smidge my bedroom floor needs doing, are your parents free?

Supposed to be wrapping presents, making wreath for door but in bed on here... Have just done mammoth washing up session so deserve it!

hi everyone, sorry for long absence. my sympathies smidge. even if you're feeling OK, these things can be a nasty shock. are you hitting the beach tomorrow?

welcome back otters and congrats! great start to the thread. and 2015 I hope!

tiger, barking happy holidays!

lumen i'm in the same boat. Christmas seems to make is all more poignant doesn't it.

beaky i read that bit about post grad jazz about 5 times before I understood it! I was thinking, wow, a musical genius berry in our midst!

rain pubs should be child free zones, no question. What has a child ever contributed to a pub atmosphere? nothing. and while I"m on the subject, there shoudl also be child free planes and trains. like the quiet carriage but actually ENFORCED. beaches. buses. this could be epic.

How's things bushy and pip?

sorry about your cysts jel

hallo to anyone i"ve missed, gilster, Minx (don't think we've met, hallo!)

No news here. Boss is a complete gobshite but he now has 2 formal complaints (including mine) proceeding against him. REason I've not been aroudn is he delayed a decision on a big funding proposal I'm writing, so I lost 4/10 weeks to work on it. Cue 60-70 hour weeks for last 3 weeks. But i got a draft off before Christmas so sucks to him.

Off to the in laws tomorrow, so spending today making chocolate whisky truffles and wrapping presents. may go to yoga later if I can be arsed. I should really as need some mental down time. I've even been dreamign about that bloody funding proposal. Tragic.

Wish we had a telly. just want to watch shrek and sip port for the next few days. maybe I'll go and buy the dvds just in case i can't stream it.

Happy Christmas to all threadsters! I'm all in Hampshire near the Surrey border so must be neighbours with HB! (although actually that border is quite long so I guess I might be ages from you). Last minute present wrapping awaits tonight, then to my parents for lunch tomorrow. I think my brain is trying to kill me because I had a very vivid dream last night of being 6 months pregnant (with ultrasound and everything). Usually in the past when I've dreamt of being pregnant I always for some weird reason give birth to a cat (maybe I should be telling this to a psychiatrist..) but this was definitely a baby. AF arrived last week so it's definitely not prophetic. Stupid brain! :)

Anyhow, have a great one everyone and I'll see you all on the other side.

and having written that earlier, and two years 5 months and about to refer ourselves to fc, I got a bfp this afternoon. am in total shock and terrified but I had to tell you wonderful berries the news. you've held my hand and been.so kind over the last year. thank you so much xx

Yey nolly

thanks lumen! Fx you too...!

Omg nolly that's bloody amazing. I'm so chuffed for you! The Christmas miracles are coming thick and fast this month. Who's next?!

tammy the realistic pregnancy dreams are so odd. I used to get them but not recently.

I'm just hiding out in bed having an afternoon nap and getting away from the in laws. Pil are joyless miserablists sometimes and bil and sil are behaving like pathetic spoiled brats. Turns out this does not change just because you go to a lovely place on holiday! Still, having a very nice time with Mr T, and think this gives me sufficient grounds to refuse christmas with the inlaws for the next few years! Off for a meal out by the marina later and have gathered much vino for Christmas Day to drown my sorrows so it's all looking good!

Merry Christmas everyone!

tell me about it, tiger. mad. sounds like a cast iron excuse to dodge the inlaws Xmas for a few years to be. happy boozing!

Another surprise pg announcement on fb from someone who as far as I knew didn't want kids.

Hugs Lumen, all these pregnancy announcements are just the worst (apart from Nolly of course - Yay!)

Congrats nolly that's amazing!

Thanks everyone for your comments. I felt a lot better when I woke up this morning, and I'm sure you're right about my friend not wanting to tempt fate. And perhaps the sheer fact she specified that the birth was after some difficult times over the past few years does really suggest she must have been having trouble. So in fact I should be high giving her for ringing the difficulties out in the open etc. it was just that initial shock I think. Anyway, you're right, I will PM her and try to be tactfully inquisitive and maybe by letting her know I'm also struggling she may feel happy to disclose her own.

Anyway, as soon as one anxiety is over it seems I have walked straight into another. MrSmidge told me by text that he couldn't sleep as he had gone through all my old emails and discovered a whole bunch of stuff that he really wished he hadn't. It's ridiculous. Before his time, I'm totally not interested, and didn't even know there were any dodgy emails - I'm not a dwell on the past kind of person. He, on the other hand, won't get rid of pictures of old girlfriends...

Anyway, hems not slept for 2 nights and doesn't like the idea of me seeing my male friends while I'm back in England. Not in a telling me what to do way, so I'm not cross, but in a bit of a sad and pathetic anxious mess way. Poor thing, but really, i love him! I married him! I want to be with him!

I've told him so of course, but he does get a bit anxious when I'm away. He's a bit of a softy

So now of course I've spent all day in a bit of a downer, and worrying about him, and feeling a bit miffed too as I don't want him to feel worried about me having make friends. Anyway, I thought i'd done well to turn it around when he asked me not to see one friend while I'm back (who actually isn't an ex or anything, we just worked together but he does have a very Pervy sense of humour so I don't doubt the emails would look dodgy) - I said fine this time but I wasn't going to stop being in touch with him, but in return he should get rid of his old wedding ring from the ex wife, for me!

Spoke to him over facetime just now though and he still looks very down in the dumps

Woohoo Nolly am over the moon for you

Tiger nightmare! Plenty of Christmas Day wine sounds good though.

Lumen hugs to you, and still hopeful for you though!

Tammy I have those dreams too! Although as tiger says, not so much recently!

Hope everyone is enjoying Christmas Eve! I'm in wrapping hell but drinking too so who cares!

Yay nolly! Another Xmas miracle!

Happy Christmas Berries, I've got my Dad and his wife and my sister coming for Xmas dinner. DH has spent the past few days in a fug of beer and has been utterly useless at helping me prepare. The next week will be spent visiting various family members all over the country, it's good to see folk but I really would like to hole up in my house and relax!

See you on the other side