Grab your Ganeshas and collect your cats: The Elderberry Pavlovas in the Quest for the New Year clusterdiff (thread 25)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Smidge I hope everything goes ok for you on Friday. Chin up. Lots of lovely Berry love to you.

I'm so wiped out. Very long day at work, when I was expecting to have an easy one. Grrr.

My follie growing plan for this evening is i) Eat lots of protein ii) Listen to Stevie Wonder iii) Lie down

Waves weakly to everyone else.

Thanks Wild, lumen and nolly (everyone, basically). Unfortunately they just called with the results and it's a negative. Expecting it doesn't seem to make it any easier . I felt so rubbish walking into the lift after the blood test knowing it was the end of another waste of time. (And money).

Beaky I read some of that thread you're referring to I think. Luckily for me my clinic do a blood test the day before ET to check that oestrogen levels have dropped and that progesterone has risen sufficiently to go ahead with ET. They also do blood tests on the bfn and have (on each occasion) told me that my progesterone level is high. So I can be pretty safe in assuming I'm absorbing the progesterone properly and that my levels are high throughout the 2ww.

So who knows why I bleed, given it's not progesterone nor endometriosis! AliG didn't seem that bothered about it but I will mention it again assuming we have a follow up appointment.

HB what are micro emboli?! Sounds a bit like eboli! Are you ok with the suggestion not to bother with immune testing? Mind you, a scratch is treatment for it anyway so perhaps he's happy just to try the coverall type approach.

Pip how are you doing? Do you have plans to try any more treatments? I know you had said 3 times only but I'm well aware these promises we make ourselves can change, especially given you got that step closer. I turned down the offer of speaking to the clinic's counsellor today. Couldn't see the point really. I want to speak to someone who can fix this, not make me accept it

smidge and I'm sorry the bfn has been confirmed. It is so frustrating. Hope you're doing ok. What's your plan after this?

Congratulations jellie on a good result. Hope you're home safe and those blasts are snuggling down. What are your plans for the 2ww?

nolly those milestones must be very hard. Keeping going with ttc until August sounds like a plan. You never know and at least you have a cut off and plan ahead. I This is our last cycle before IVF and there is still quite a big part of me that hopes for a fufc. Loved cat bounce, have shared the love with that and forwarded to a few friends!

happy hope you're doing ok. Reflexology or anything is worth a try in my view. But you're talking to the girl who has had acu, abdominal massage, therapy, spent a shed load on vitamins, given up wheat and gluten, tried mindfulness techniques and read a load of books about getting pg and is even considering vaginal steaming. so I would say that . Personally I just like to feel like I'm doing something plus offloading to a therapist is very good for keeping me sane.

Glad to hear you have a plan hb and hope you're doing ok.

wild great plan! When is EC?

beaky when is OTD?

Well, thank goodness it is Friday. This week has been a bit shitty but only doing a half day today, so will be back in Mr T's arms in no time!

Oh Smidge that jut sucks. As you said, even though you were expecting it it is still depressing to hear it for real. I think you should definitely see AliG to hear her take on why it might have failed and for her to outline next steps. Even if you don't go with AliG again it is still worth hearing what she thinks after this cycle. She may shed a bit of light.

Did you get TNFalpha results in your immune testing? I don't actually know what TNF alpha is (!) but the treatment some clinics use is Humira. That's one of the more controversial immune treatments. Maybe you could check it out to see what you think.

Hope you and MrSmidge are coping.

So sorry to hear that Smidge. It is so frustrating.

We are very sure about not having any more treatment. We always said we'd stop at three. I'm 40 in April so I think that closes a door on it and we are moving on.

So sorry that you've had your worst fears confirmed Smidge. I hope you can get answers and be able to move on with the next steps.

Ace news Jellie - PUPO! Hopefully those "emails" are snuggling in as we speak.

Hope the stimming is going OK Wild.

Come on Beaky - we need a BFP!

Hugs to Nolly too, it must be hard going through the key milestones.

oh no smidge. Suspecting definetly doesn't make it easier, as you've had all that time to dread it and live with it - and then the news is like being punched on a bruise. You poor thing.Time out, lick your wounds.

Thanks tiger, gil. It's just a bit of a kick in the stomach - it's a horrible reminder that even if I do get pregant again, I won't be able to let myself get excited as I'll be thinking 'it'll jst make it worse'. I think that loss of excitement is one of the saddest things about long term ttc.

Anyway. It's friday people. Weekend beckons. x

Hugs Smidge sorry that the tests have confirmed what you thought. I hope AliG has some ideas and answers for you. Micro emboli are tiny clots that could reduce blood flow to the area where the embie is bedding in.

oh yes and beaky, will prob be out of radio contact until monday in which case i will be crossing all my toes, fingers and ears if I can.

Oh Smidge I'm so very sorry lovely. So bloody unfair. Look after yourselves

Happy - That looks interesting, kind of a one stop shop. And I think reflexology has to be better than acupuncture (which I didn't really like) 'cos if it doesn't do anything, at least you've had a foot rub.

Wild - that sounds like a plan - hope you're taking it easy.

Smidge - sorry to have it confirmed. I know you were expecting it but its still rubbish.

Tiger - Yes we're home - I keep trying to post but my tablet has gone a bit rubbish since an update and freezes all the time. I'm off work until Monday and I've just booked in for a blood test Next Thursday so its not really even 2 weeks! 6 days now! EEEEP - glad you are having a nice 1/2 day and are getting back to Mr T. VAGINAL STEAMING?!?!?! WHAT the actual? It sounds dangerous! LOL

Beaky - I'm sure you've already said when OTD is but I cant see it from here. Fingers toes and eyes crossed, it must be soon :)

AFM - feeling much better now my cold seems on the way out. Just lay about yesterday in a nose dripping eye watering mess. Made it to ASDA but that was it. We're going to walk in to town (slowly) and see if I can find Mr J a birthday pressie. We are then going to the flicks!

Anyway happy Friday everyone!

Hm. Nice phone correct from me there last time, well spotted beaky! How are those emails doing jellie?! Not long now!!

Happy I would totally go for that if it was down the road from me despite HATING anyone touching my feet What have you got to lose?! It's no more crazy than me boiling up the chinese herbs! It'll help get you in the right head space if nothing else.

wild hope you've got a nice chilled out weekend planned so you can relax.

nolly it's so hard when you realise where you would have been. I should be bringing a newborn home from hospital about now if the last pg had worked, and my mate is about to go into labour any day. I've been avoiding her. DH's mates are already talking about their son's 1st birthday next month. That would have been us in April. It stinks. Oh, and the friend who caused my first pang by announcing she was pg after we'd been ttc for a year has just announced she's pg again

smidge I'm so sorry . It's all so unfair.

tiger hope you're enjoying your week back home

gillster how are the dates lining up for your op? Is it likely to be a goer?

beaky when are you testing? Any pimping action yet??

I've got the consultant appointment on Monday about the IVF. I'm going to ask about a scratch although I have a feeling that will be a no because they do the embryo glue. I'm going to ask about vitamins and diet and about aspirin again. I'll have dalteparin from bfp if we get one, but what I'd really like is prednisolone although I have a feeling I'll get shot down on that one. Anything else you knowledgeable berries can think of to put on my list of questions? This is our one and only shot so there's no point saving anything until 'next time'.

Will have to cancel the op on Monday morning as AF has arrived as predicted. I just hope I don't get bumped to the end of the list and have to wait weeks for another appointment.

Oh Gill that's so incredibly frustrating . Everything crossed they can fit you in a couple of weeks later.

Barking - you should be able to have the scratch and the glue. I don't see why the should say no. Is it NHS? They may let you add on extras like that if you pay.

Gill - Boooooo to AF! Let's how the wait is a short one fur a new date.

Can I test yet? Can I can I can I...!?!?!?! Pur-weeeeeeze ?? I might buy some tomorrow!

BFN for me berries, off to drink all of the wine now

Oh Beaky, im so sorry hun... and give beakypup an extra squeeze x

Argh just typed a mammoth post and lost it

In summary...

Beaky so sorry lovely. Enjoy your
Gil again I'm so sorry the witch has thrown a spanner in the works for you. Hope they can get you sorted asap.
Smidge hope you're ok
Nolly Barking thinking of you at these difficult milestones
Hope everyone else is ok. Have a nice Sunday Berries.

beaky I'm so sorry , I had a little niggling hope that it would all turn out ok and stick two fingers up to the ivf .

happy my top tip of the day - always copy the text when typing a long post/before posting, then if you lose it you can just paste it in again . learnt the hard way

So sorry Beaky, was hoping for a stealthy BFP for you. What are the next steps for you? Make sure you spoil yourself and Beakypup today.

So sorry beaky definitely treat yourself to some .

Grrr to another delay gill hope they fit you in again soon.

Haha, on trend, that's me minx for sure! not in the slightest not got round to trying it yet despite having been given a pack of herbs for the purpose. Hope the appointment goes well this week.

Not sure what else you might need to ask barking as sounds like you have it covered. I haven't had a consultant appointment at the FC since being referred for ivf - it's one size fits all at ours, which makes me nervous.

jellie Not too long to wait! Hope it goes quickly and everything crossed for you!

Going to give the stork a go later as I think today I should be ovulating. Wish me luck!

Thanks lovely Berries. I'm fine after accidentally having a 2hr nap at lunch time then a nice pub tea with MrB. I wasn't expecting a positive but the last few days I've had awful side effects from the cyclogest which threw me a little! Anyway, FC for a blood test tomorrow then I assume I'll find out when I'll do short protocol. If it's not straight away I think it'll have to be after April as things seem to clash with Easter (FC closed) and a mini holiday I've got booked but I don't mind too much. Also I have my skin cancer procedure this week - so glad I kept the appointment!

Gill so sorry you couldn't get in for your op, how frustrating for you again. Fx they will get you in ASAP. When will you find out?

Jellie crossing absolutely everything I have available for you, lovely. I hope it's a quick few days to otd!

Tiger good luck with the stork! Do you know when you'll get your meds and have your baseline scan for your IVF yet?

Happy hope you are ok and have had as enjoyable a week off as possible.

Minx best of luck for your appointment this week, I hope you get to move to IVF ASAP. Let us know how you get on.

Barking I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well and you get signed off for everything you want for this cycle.

Smidge thinking of you when is your follow up with AliG?

HB it sounds like a good plan for your next round, hope you're holding up ok too.

Hope everyone has enjoyed their weekends

Sorry meant to say Wild how are you getting on? Are you scanning tomorrow? Will EC be this week?