Grab your Ganeshas and collect your cats: The Elderberry Pavlovas in the Quest for the New Year clusterdiff (thread 25)

[happylass]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 12+ months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and definitely no mention of baby dust or baby dancing).
Those not abiding by the rules may be escorted from the premises.

Thank you for the warm welcome.

Pipbin you sound amazing, I hope all your workmates give you lots of support. I agree that sitting at home isn't necessarily the best remedy. Hope you're ok.

Yes I have been to GP, although it was a while ago (I got a few bloods done before DH had his VR to see whether I was functioning normally - would have been no point in him having the op if I wasnt). My bloods did suggest I may have low progesterone, but I think I got my days wrong, and haven't been back since - Naiively thought I'd just get PG and not have to worry about it!

Anyway, today's the first day of getting things back on track for me. Registering with a new GP near me and going to ask to be checked out.

Frustratingly I'm waiting for a gynae referral as I suspect I may have endo. Had to wait for bowel investigations first, and apparently they found nothing. Once they discharge me I can push for gynae referral. So bloody frustrating when I want to say "I've wasted a year on a waiting list... I'm not getting any younger people!"

On the plus side (if you can call it that), if we do find we need IVF... well we're not entitled to it o NHS because of DHs vasectomy, so at least we can pay for a faster service!!

Bobbles you need to keep pushing with the GP. I found that once I had been seen by the fertility consultant that it all moved quickly. It was getting through those doors that was the hard bit. We've nearly all been there so we can give lots of advice.

Thank you, just being on this thread is making me feel better already. Been moping about with period pains all day and bursting into tears randomly.

Hi to everyone else, sorry I haven't had chance to catch up on all your stories yet, hope you are all enjoying the cold weekend!

Bobbles From getting my first appointment with the fertility consultant to having my most recent IVF (I've had three rounds) was about 2 years. If you are going private then I expect it will be quicker.
Does your DH already have DC? (I assume so given that he has had a vas) That would stop you from getting IVF on the NHS. Many women here have had private IVF so will be able to advise.
Oh, and the Berries are fucking brilliant and that is an actual fact.

Yeah I don't expect it to be a quick process. Although we would have to go private - no NHS IVF if you've meddled with your tubes previously (and rightly so, although a little unfair if it turns out the infertility lies with me and not DH!).

And no, DH doesn't already have DC. Can you believe he had a vas done aged 25, unmarried, no DCs. What doctor in the world would do that? He later went on to marry his partner and they both remained adamant that neither of them wanted DCs, so fair enough, he would have had it done anyway. But I'll forever be flabbergasted that his GP agreed to it at that age.

After going through the trauma of getting his vas reversal done (we broke up over it before he finally agreed), then getting his amazing sperm analysis results (he was 'normal'!), we've just kind of become complacent and thought it would happen like normal people... but looks like I'll have to admit it's not going to be that easy

Thanks for the support though. I've read back a little on the thread and caught up with what you've been through Pipbin. Life is so bloody unfair sometimes, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Seems there really are some very strong ladies here

Welcome to the Berry HQ Bobbles sorry you find yourself here but as Pip says the berries are bloody amazing!

You may still qualify for IVF on the NHS as there are no children from pervious relationships etc. so it may be worth pursuing that angle. As the other berries has said push your GP for a referral. And please don't think DH 'normal' semen analysis means that there is a problem with you. A number of us berries are classified as 'unexplained' so in a number of cases there is no rhyme or reason (someone remind me of that in the future).

pip it sounds like you have a lovely work family who will look after you. Hope it goes well on Monday.

Definitely check your CCG guidance bobbles as it is different everywhere.

Sounds like a fab day out smidge! Bit warmer than here too, I'm frozen to the bone!

Need to get the fire on and dinner on the go!

Evening all. Beaky I'm sorry you've had extra worry added to what is already a stressful time. Hope you're ok
Pip glad to hear your work are being so good. Hope you're ok and taking lots of time for yourself and DH. I'm a big believer in projects and time away to occupy myself. The wedding was a godsend in giving me something other than TTC to think about. Since then I've decorated the whole of downstairs plus one bedroom and bought a new sofa and fridge. Just thinking what I can do next......
Welcome Bobbles. I would definitely get the ball rolling with regards to medical assistance. As the other wise ladies have advised definitely check your local area. Where I live you aren't excluded from IVF unless BOTH partners already have children. On the downside the waiting list is the longest in the UK . Not sure what the rules about vasectomies are though. Also I'm currently on my 2nd cycle of private IVF so if you want any info about going down that route just give me a shout.
Tiger well done on getting through your first week. Hope you are having a lovely time with the Mr and pooch.
Hope everyone else is doing ok. Having a bit of a lazy 'can't be arsed' day today. It's our first weekend at home in over a month though do I think it's allowed!

Hiya everyone

Wild still blushing about being dirty.....!

Pip glad that you feel like your up to work. I would agree its a good distraction and as they know then you'll be able back off if you need too x

Bobbles, welcome aboard the berry charabanc!

Beaky! Sorry to hear your news . I'm sure if its just a small procedure then they'll be fine to do it when duffed. Why don't you ring and explain it, they're sure to have come across this before. Hugs honey, I know its a simple thing but still horrid x x x

I've been being productive. Done shopping, made dinner for tomorrow, now sat with 2 pairs of sock's on, jumper , cardie, and a blanket! Brrrrrr have you all had snow today? We had a bit but due heavy snow tomorrow! Eeeek. I hope not.

Jellie I have a blanket and a cat, but no snow. (She has her feet tucked under the blanket)

Ooh, I like being in the Berries' charabanc. Cool. I know it's a bit early, but I'm thinking let's have charabanc in the next thread title.

Welcome Bobbles - that story about your DH's snip is a real jaw dropper. If you have to go private for your IVF then you will have much more control over the timings at least. I think the NHS has a strategy of keeping people on the waiting list for a while because quite a few people do get diffed naturally before they get treated on the NHS.

Pip going back to work might be just the thing to keep busy! It normally works that way. But definitely take the time out if you need to do that too. It's great that your work are being good to you.

Tiger that football match sounds cold. May I recommend a day snuggling on the sofa with MrT and the pooch tomorrow. Maybe throw some hot chocolate in the mix. They must be so pleased to see you after your first week down in that London, get some snuggle time in.

Jellie when you mentioned blushing I thought you had somehow discovered that I was out on the lash last night, missed my stop on the way home, had to get a taxi back, left my phone in the taxi and had to drive miles with a hangover to collect the phone from some random cab office today. You are not the only on blushing, my lovely, believe you me.

Beaky poor you with all that worry on top of everything. No advice really, but don't take it all on your own shoulders. Have you told your DH how you are feeling?

Darn it, just wrote post and it vanished into the abyss.

Basic gist, I have laryngitis, feeling sorry for myself and hoping to improve before gynae appointment on weds

Will be a better berry

Oh and hi bobbles

Evening all, hope everyone has had a nice lazy Sunday. Lots of cooking and a few jobs done here, including washing the hound! Also picked up some gifts for a pre-baby get together/baby shower this week. Fully expecting at least one new pg announcement there, but I'm prepared so it shouldn't be too bad. It's the surprise ones that are a kick in the guts.

Get better soon lumen, hope you don't feel too bad! I am on a 6am train tomorrow, and very early starts make me think of you also getting up early! Although perhaps tomorrow you need to stay in bed.

wild that sounds like something that would happen to me! A good night then!?

Any snow about jellie? Just sleet here but the wood burner is going and we're toasty!

beaky how are you doing my lovely?

Hope you feel better soon Lumen if it helps I am getting over it - really bad Wednesday and Thursday but sore throat not as bad on Friday. Since then I just have a slightly hoarse voice but am feeling much better. Have you tried gargling with salt water? It made me gag but did help.

Was just thinking how quiet it is in here today......

Have been suffering for 3 weeks now hb

Will be working from home tomorrow tiger but I will think of you on the cold platform in the morning, scarf and gloves required I think

Ew, that's not good Lumen I hope you feel better soon.

Wish I was working from home, tomorrow will be the first proper day back since before New Year as work sent me home last week as I couldn't speak! Dreading it.

Hi Bobbles and welcome, these ladies are the best bunch ever. Surely your dh having a vasectomy previously doesn't rule you out for IVF?! That's crazy. Get them to refer you for fertility investigations though, it takes ages to get through the system. Sorry AF turned up for you, it's a crappy cycle of frustration and disappointment eh.

I just want to say thanks for the support and advice, kind berries, you really are such a lovely bunch. It was a bit tricky telling people as they freak out at first but at least that's done.

Tiger thanks for the advice, I think I will call them, I just want to be sure each thing doesn't affect the other. I hope you've had a fab weekend at home with the tiger gang! I'm jealous of your wood burner, we really want one! are you looking forward to your second week?

Smidge wowser what a fab weekend! It all sounds amazing but especially the outside film and picnic - totally jealous of that! How's dr going? When is your baseline scan?

Pip I hope work goes ok tomorrow, you sound like you have a really lovely supportive bunch of colleagues which hopefully is one less stress. Hope you are doing as ok as you can be. And also, I don't blame you going in to get away from Jeremy Kyle, nobody needs that shit!

HB are you back for a scan tomorrow? Fx for you and pom-poms out for good follie growth!

Minx good luck for your lap tomorrow! Let us know how you get on.

Happy when is your first scan?

Jellie thank you and wow you have been super busy and organised! We had some lovely snow today I wet for a nice walk in it then lunch! How is the healthy eating going?

Wild bless you! What a carry on you had but it must've been a good night! I really miss a little rose spritzer at the moment. dh has been an absolute star actually and very supportive. He gets up to inject with me each too

lumen boo, you've been ill for ages eh, you poor thing. I hope you are much better soon.

The berries charabanc....

Love the Berries charabanc Beaky! And glad you are feeling a bit better about things.

And yes it was a good night - except for my poor friend when I started pontificating to her about the election.

That's what I meant to say as well Smidge - massively jealous of your weekend. That little hiccup over the old emails was a small price to pay for such bounty and treats.

AF arrived, so it's ORT scan and bloods for me tomorrow. Yikes!

I hope the man driving the charabanc is just delivering it to us. He looks quite grumpy and I'm not sure he would join in with the martinis or be very pleased with Berries peeing in pots all the time.

Love the pic Beaky!

Yes, I had a really lovely weekend thankyou. We drove up the coast a bit yesterday (Sunday) to a less crowded/built up beach which was a lovely relaxing end to our jam packed weekend. I do still feel a bit jealous at the talk of snow and wood burning stoves though. I think I'm naturally a person more suited to temperate climes. and red wine in front of the fire wearing a snugly jumper

Down-regging is going well so far. I've not had any side effects even though this time I've been rubbish about drinking fluids. I've no idea what my intake has been at all - v unlike me - previously I used a pint glass and a tally chart to ensure I was drinking at least 2L a day. I hope my new non-obsessing approach has a positive impact. (Enough to offset whatever harm I'm doing by not drinking enough liquid anyway ).

I had my baseline blood test this morning. The clinic was a bit manic - I try to go to a smaller 'satellite' office which is closer to home mainly because it has free parking and no harbour bridge tolls, cheapskate that I am and usually it's fairly quiet as it only opened in September. Up until now you've had to book slots for the dildocam, but recently they've changed it to 'turn up and queue' and today they had 12 drop ins. Anyway, finally got my blood test done and I'm assuming I'll get my results later today. Haven't got my period yet though, so won't start drumming for a couple more days.

Do you remember over Christmas I found out a friend had had a baby and I didn't even know she wanted children, never mind was pregnant? Well I wrote her a congratulations message and sent a card, and mentioned our IVF attempts (it wasn't all me me me, honestly, just seemed relevant to the conversation!). Sure enough, she has written back and said this baby was her sixth pregnancy, and that's why they'd kept it quiet. She said this successful time was IVF along with blood thinners. Makes you realise the finish line is WAY further than the elusive BFP doesn't it . (But also good to hear a positive result after a few years of struggles). Anyway, she has offered her ear (well, email address!) as someone to chat to if I feel the need. Though tbh the berries are my first port of call.

Welcome bobbles

Sorry to hear you're having a long drawn out poorly spell lumen. Fingers crossed you're over the worst of it now.

Good luck for week 2 Tiger

Haha, cross post Wild . As long as MrSmidge is properly over his worries about ex lovers then I agree. (He has an ex wife so we each have our own insecurities to deal with anyway!)

It looks as if we might be cycle buddies - good luck with your baseline scans.