Step AWAY from the pissy sticks and get back in the bedroom, don your cape (but don't break his banjo string!) and get yourself a bun in the oven like Paul Hollywood! It's Just Shagging 31!

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also know as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!  PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage. Self explanatory, who wouldn't? 

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Option decorations include photographs of political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.  Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedinging!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

The link to Part 30 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2210024-The-Truth-about-Um-Bongo-Broken-Penises-and-Sad-Fleas-its-all-here-just-dont-talk-about-the-Elephant-in-the-Womb-Pee-on-Nigel-Farage-or-in-a-Thermos-and-Join-the-Bonkers-Bonkers-for-JS-30" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2217843-Just-Shagging-Grads-14-Join-the-viroids-for-scanxiety-Toni-Braxtons-a-little-less-JSing-than-usual?msgid=50290589#50290589" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Ok so I did another test at lunch and Mr La confirmed he could see it too, so it's definitely there! Oh my godfathers.

Now...dating. So I had natural miscarriage starting 28th sept and I ovulated sat 25th oct. Cycle longer due to mc. If they date from 1st day bleeding I'm 5+3 but that's ridiculous as I only ovulated 11 days ago. Hmmm...

Oh wow La I'm getting properly excited now you have had BFP no.2 :D Dates do look odd though, get you at 5+2 ;) Are you sure you ovulated 11 days ago?

Does anyone ever get that "i'm so fed up at work I wish I was pregnant and had something better in life to look forward to" feeling?

Ooh yay La glad MrLa is in on it now!! Dates sound confusing, pretty sure they scan you earlier to work out dates after a mc though? Rather than going by LMP.

You're probably a week behind where your dates put you (same as me ). Will you go for an early scan?

If I put conception date (stealth lunch time shag) into calculator it puts due date at July 18th so makes me 3 weeks. Will wait a few weeks tho and then go to speak to dr.

Really really really quite freaked out now!

Yay la!!! I have no idea on dating so cant help there i'm afraid. Cant imagine what must be going on in your head now!!

Jelly All the time - strangely particularly today too - spooky!

Gliding How are you?

la my pg friend had long cycles & it just meant a bonus scan- 1st when last period said 12 weeks which put her back just under 2 weeks so she got another one!

CD 8 here, last dose of soy tonight. No side effects at all (which I guess is good). AF is all but gone, last cycle she eventually buggered off CD10. My plan was no temping and no opks this month (too stressy). What do you think? Starting to get that itch to know when i'm icing. Best just shagging right? Any thoughts? Thanks in advance hooya needed

yes just shag tink!!!!

Only a mini hooya from me! i absolutely did not use my 1st opk this morning, nope not me, wouldn't dare! who? lil'ol me????

tink if you are ditchingvthe contraband all that's left is to shag away all month and not stop until AF shows or bfp shows.

la you are considered 2weeks at conception (ie ovulation) but obv GOS have their own rule book as we know. how u feeling?

ness I can't believe your due date is here already very happy for you but that has seriously depressed me for me!

hi to all the other lurking grads. especially min who I miss madly!

Tink just shag hun. I have no idea whatsoever if I am even able to ice at the moment. I was so relieved with the return of AF last month (and sick of the 7 day period) that I didn't even think about icing until recently. To be honest, it's better not stressing over it I think. Just enjoy getting that cape on!

Viroids, AF is here! And I don't mean confusing little shitty brown watery shit fuck to mess with me, I mean proper bloody blood. I'm relieved, I knoooow you were all crossing gingers and trying to keep my hopes up but I just felt so not duffed that I was certain I couldn't be. So guess I must have iced late maybe as lil and other suggested. Thanks for writing me that mini novel last night lil, really helped me get my head round it!

chat guess I'm not gonna do a "chat" and get a CD36 BFP this month!

Thanks everyone for being so supportive, it's so crushing to see single line and after single line as I know you are all aware of anyway. Hope I didn't get too whiney about the whole thing.

Sooo... This strengthens my resolve to work out when I'm ovulating and keep track of cycles better. I've got a packet of OPKs to use this cycle and a thermometre too so be prepared for questions on temping etc lil mountain and the rest of you poor souls.

Congrats la, I know you must feel apprehensive and nervous but it's just such a wonderful result for you... Btw you know how you said you wanted to be one of "those chicks who gets upduffed straight after mc"??

Yeah, that ^^

aww Indigo sorry to hear the witch arrived, but at least you now know eh! Gingers crossed for a BFP next month :)

I am seriously having babies / pregnancy on the brain today. Can't focus on work or anything! Damn these fast days! I kind of hope i get upduffed soon so then I have an excuse to stop doing them!

KH I hope you didn't use a OPK this morning ... If it measures LH then you shouldn't use it until about 2pm, as you don't make any LH until about 10am anyway, so you'll miss your surge. Ignore me if your OPK measure something else

La I am beyond excited for you. and a massive bit jealous Yay for Baby La!

Tink you and I are going to be POAS buddies...we are on a shagging mission! I luckily have short cycles and short AF so we were first able to have a non-messy shag on CD5. (I really couldn't bring myself to shag whilst AF was here, even if it were just for fun. Think of the mess!) Mission August Baby has begun! (Although we did use non-special lube last night, because hey, I'm not fertile even a little bit. And we didn't use special lube last time I got a BFP so who knows.)

honey do I remember rightly that it's you who is just starting with the OPKs as well? Have they arrived yet? And are you gonna temp too?

Yay HONEY you got any other contraband on the go? I've got preseed, soy, cape and disco pants. Going to try and keep away from the thermometer and pee stick (but feeling like this conv might come up again). Thanks ladies AF shags are few and far between here too, DH has conveniently placed himself on the other side of the country for this AF escaping the wrath of Tink, so no cape action yet.

Indigo that truly blows - at least no one can call you kitten (no condolence - would have loved to be kitten) Enjoy the twpu lovely

Yay congratulations la :)

am sorry and pleased for you at the same time indigo think you well and truly jinxed yourself with the 28-day like clockwork comment! :-/ lie you said at least you know.

Thanks honey , i treated myself to the clearblue dual whatsits so it's a fmu job, very confusing that they are and others aren't - too sciencey and technical for me, i'll just stick to the instruction sheet (even had to read that 3 times!! lol!)

DH thinks it's his right to demand ask for bj's when af is in town. not sure how he thinks its fair he gets fun and i don't?!?! - bless him lol!!

Too right KH!! That'll teach me to make such blatantly smug remarks..

Ah, Indigo, never mind. Enjoy some and [mouldy cheese] and get that cape ready for next week!

Tink Just Shag. I would say it's in the Fred title but you have to search for it a little nowadays

Uber-paranoid about slightly less nausea today. Hooya needed...

Chat Herewith just a tiny hooya, as requested. It's actually FINE to not feel like you've been hit by a bus y'know. Strangely, at 8+0 today, I feel much better than I have the last week, it may have something to do with eating ALL the food today! Also the day isn't over yet so you could still feel quite rubbish after dinner if that's any consolation?

Goodness, the worry really doesn't end with a BFP does it. This making a baby stuff is HARD!

aww indigo at least you are out of limbo. and you are welcome for the novel. if you want any contraband advice feel free to pm me, any if u I'm conscious I'm completely breaking the rules far worse than anyone else on here so sorry to the true jsers!

I couldn't cope without my thermometer. or my opks cone to think of it.

I'm going to be sooo lost without all this next "cycle". what will I do with myself?! I'll have to obsess for you lot instead. I think you may all have to share your charts with me to keep me going!

Haha lil i think there's enough obsessing and moaning amongst us to keep you occupied :)

:( indigo so sorry! Really thought it sounded good there. Have some and blue cheese and we will get you your bfp next month x