Jizz in your eyes, raining out of your arse or just feeling boggin? Come and join the JSers for fun and frolics! And some of them drooling over Ian McShane, whoever he may be! It's Just Shagging 29!!

[lildottie]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

ROC - Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 28 is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2179455-Break-the-bed-marvel-at-the-ghost-sperm-ignore-the-fuss-about-avatar-pandas-and-whatever-you-do-dont-eat-the-jizz-Its-Just-Shagging-Part-28?" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2186417-Just-Shagging-12th-Thread-for-graduated-viroids?pg=31" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="//www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I'm giggling too Zyla. It doesn't hurt and he said he felt something sharp, then he carried on to the end. Obviously not bad enough to stop him lol and he's fine now so I don't feel bad!
He did the same thing years ago whilst going solo apparently
(God he'd kill me if he knew I posted about it)

Poor mr purple!! What did you do to him?! We have broken penises (penii?) Come into work sometimes and I always find it hard not to snigger..

omg Purple that's hilarious! I did this once to DP, scratched him by accident!

Hope he's ok!

I know what you mean about weird periods tmi alert but my last 2 have been excruciating but lighter and mucousy (new word). Looks like I'm icing aswell as af!!
I think it was someone on here that told me that ewcm stretches and jizz doesn't. Does mean you have to firk about and inspect it which isn't always fun first thing but I've really quickly got used to telling the difference!
Lol at broken penis! I once did the same thing with an ex in a hotel room, we had to pretend some stitches had burst and then he went home to his mummy needless to say he didn't last long!
Happy Friday viroids! X

Oh gosh, poor Mr Purple! That's hilarious!

I'm not sure what to do with myself now. I went to bed nervous expecting blood or bfp in the morning, and didn't get either. Its so strange.

Oh no! Poor Mr Purple! I'm also not laughing...

Hope work is OK La I am rubbish at staying in all day as well, I get itchy feet and start projects...

RM POAS, the only way you'll know. Just a cheap one, don't waste pennies on this When I MC in March, I hadn't twigged I was pregnant, such was the strength of the IB. And I went skiing and lost track of time

That's hilarious! Not-so-awesome-penis...

I snagged an ex's with my teeth once. Blood everywhere

Jelly and Purple - got all my gingers crossed for you both that the witch doesn't get you and there's a double BFP in the offing - would that make it a purple jelly baby?

Viroids - do you think there's a direct correlation between the number of us who have broken and least one penis (I've knackered 2 in my time) and the fact that we're in the predicament we're in? Just thought...

You'll all be pleased to know that Mr B has got the message - he jumped me this morning without any encouragement then propped my bum on a pillow and left the room, saying 'same time Sunday?'. Love it!

x

Bother that's brilliant!

Agree, that's a concerning statistic/potential correlation. With all the science bods in here, we could make a bid for next year's Christmas BMJ (y'know, while we're all on mat leave)

lol I like your thinking Bother :)

I wish it was a jelly bean. So far it's just a stomach ache and bloating. I swear some days I look pregnant with how much I bloat!

Need to get the cape dusted off though, action has been abyssmal. At this rate I'll be 50 by the time I conceive!

Also, conceive is one of those words I always spell wrong, because it's been so droned into me that it's I BEFORE E, I always forget the except after C bit

So, fertility referral is moving fast...blood test yesterday, text results today, phone appt arranged for Monday when I'll be given the details for booking hosp appointment...am sure it'll all slow down at that point. Anyone know how long the NHS wait lists are? Can't seem to find any info online...

bother mine was a while but I think that's because it's not through the hospital? I got GP test results done bloods and scan, followed by Mr La's jizz tests. We then got letter saying we're being referred, followed by questionnaire from fertility clinic. Sent that off and received appointment letter at fertility clinic a few weeks ago. Appointment is in two weeks.

Meanwhile I've got pregnant and had miscarriage - ah, the irony.

I've also rebooked my reflexology that I was meant to have to help conceive and cancelled when i got my bfp. :)

Between the appointments and the vitamins I'm getting another fecking bfp by Christmas if it kills me!

I'm with you on that La - I daydream about telling my family about a BFP at Christmas...in my daydream it's always twins, and I'm all glowing a healthy and whipping up a perfect Christmas lunch too...

Think our doctor is fast-tracking things - she basically said 'You're 40?!' and then proceeded to bypass all the normal time-frames...she's already put on my file that the tests and jizz thing have been done so we can get straight onto the hospital list...she said I can go and collect the letter rather than wait for it in the post, and she's going to give us 3 hospitals to check out waiting lists on so we can choose the shortest wait! Love her...it's just the fertility clinic wait times I'm not sure about - guess I'll find out next week.

How's it been at work today?

x

Lasted til lunch then felt uncomfortable at desk and came home. Now feeling uncomfortable on couch instead.

But good I came home coz had a good cry halfway through the afternoon, which would have been ever so embarrassing at work.

I'm gutted I missed the cake trolley though...

Ah - glad you headed home...the crying can strike at any moment, cake or no. Our booze trolley is just about to come round...I told my new guy that it's not only tradition that the newest recruit does the trolley but also that the bunny ears and pink apron we the 'uniform'...was that unfair?

My leg is starting to burn (period sign in me.) its such a weird feeling. Like i've run a really long race. From my hip to my knee, just one leg!

But yeah, i see ertd on the horizon. In fact i can visualize my cervix bursting like a dam any minute now.

niiiiiiiice

Mine refuses to do anything. Not a twinge, nothing.

Bleed damn you!

Af hates me too, returned this afternoon after all night and morning and I was in the car, no clean niks or tights in my bag so headed home
In other news the shitty kitty's have discovered the shed roof is an excellent vantage point from which to monitor the local pigeon population and refuse to come down! I suspect a plan is afoot. If any of you experience a sudden influx of refugee pigeons I can only apologise, it's probably for the best. They don't stand a chance here.

With regards to hospital waiting times for fertility treTment, ak your gps if they will refer to private clinics at all, and find out if there's one near you. We went to look at one before my BFP and discovered when there that they also take referrals from the nhs, I don't know if they'll suggest it unless you ask though.

Worth looking into if waiting times arent good?

Sorry for typos, low blood sugars, waiting for my skittles to work?

Nice advice - thanks ZylaB. I've got a phone appt, on Monday with GP prior to referral so I'll ask her.

I thought it was a nice visual jelly. What's that film when the lift opens and blood comes pouring out?

I'm going to go in the hot tub i think. Trashy magazine and the radio. Turn the jets on and pummel my leg.

Disclaimer: keep your hats on, its only set to 35°C.

Ah ha!

I'm in a weird mood this afternoon.

mountain ewcm doesn't absorb into toilet paper, man too does.

la glad you got out for a bit at least.

re waiting times on NHS. check hfea website. mine is listed as no waiting list but the appointments have still taken an age, but I think they are short staffed. waiting times aren't the only thing to consider. you will have to travel there a lot so you don't want somewhere too far away.

3dpo here and need a hooya. cramps yesterday and today which is odd. and v tired because I go to bed too late

Haha lil dh has just jumped out of his skin when I pressed play!!