Break the bed, marvel at the ghost sperm, ignore the fuss about avatar pandas and whatever you do - don't eat the jizz! It's Just Shagging Part 28

[Leela5]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

The link to Part 27 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2157458-Get-your-cape-on-get-your-cape-on-Dont-come-knockin-if-the-tents-a-rockin-but-pee-on-a-snake-instead-Its-just-shagging-part-27" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2160935-Just-Shagging-Thread-11-for-Graduated-Viroids?" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Yeah its not really a break if you'd spend the whole time wondering if that month would've been the month!!

Hope you're all enjoying your weekends xx

hugs dulce nice to see you back though.

Hope everyone is having a nice day with plenty of cape action.

Chat...I only really half understand that! I can say when my birthday is though! (But can't spell all the words I imagine!) And yes... First time so will keep an eye and see Dr if necessary. Last smear was clear so not panicking.

Welcome back Dulcet. Sorry its been so shit lately.

Lil I'm self employed too. Isn't it great?

Glad your GP is being proactive Wiggly!

Welcome back Dulcet. So sorry to hear of the second mc. Really hoping you get a sticky bean soon . Well done Lil for tracking you down!

its ace honey although a bit lonely at times. dh is se too so when he works from home its better

will mwahahaha there is no hiding from the jsers! sorry dulcet Lol

Stupid poo-face witch has got me and she's here with a vengeance!
We dtd every other day this cycle, I don't understand why it doesn't take, it's so annoying!
And we were at a party last night, with people we haven't seen in a little while, they ALL thought it appropriate to ask when we're going to have children. Grrr

Anyway, having a nice evening with DH, lounging in front of the tv, trying to ignore AF cramps, and drinking lots of wine!

Anyone else find it hard to tell their DH about the arrival of AF? I feel like I've failed him when she appears each month

Sorry about AF rm, hope you aren't too sad. Please don't feel like you failed, it's totally out of your control! Just keep doing what you can and think about how you'll break the good news!!

Wish I was SE! If love to work in my PJs until i want to get dressed! Can see it being lonely though - as much as my office are miserable sometimes it is nice to speak to different people sometimes!

Sucks RM, sorry. Please don't feel you failed. I read that even in perfectly healthy couples doing everything right, there is no garuntee (I have never been able to spell that word), and only about a 20% chance of getting upduffed. It sucks so much? Time for the twpu at least!

Tomorrow I start the twot, or 12 days any way. Worst time. Need to stay busy. We're decorating at the moment so need to paint etc, guess i can do that.

Sorry rm, you haven't failed, it just hasn't happened this month - I've seen the 20% thing too. Every other day?! Amazing jsing! Time to relax with some twpu treats.

rm. I hate telling dh every month. he's always so full of hope in the two asking when are we going to test. I always add a day to when I think af is due so he doesn't get his hopes up if I'm a bit late. I tend to just let him see me get the tampons out, or ask him to get me my hot water bottle. there's no easy way to tell them, and I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it doesn't.

Bfn this morning huge temp dip AF cramps :( :( :(

RM I would love to tell you don't be silly, but I know exactly what you mean. I don't even get AF very often. In the time we have been TTC I have iced 3 times, twice his little men have fertilised and twice my body has rejected our babies. I feel like my body can't do the one thing it is supposed to. I really thought this time was our turn, that I would go for my infertility app be scanned and they would find a sac

Morning Everyone! It's....Monday :( Uff!

Rm don't feel upset hun, you're not failing anyone! Give it time!

My last progesterone pills were last night, so now I just need to wait and see if they had any effect on my hormones! Come on AF! Rear your ugly head!

rm and mountain I too feel like my body is conspiring against us sometimes.

Here's hoping AF rears her witchy head for you jelly!

Twott-diddly- twot-twot...not thinking about it...not at all.

Thanks for all the reassurance ladies. I'm sure it's the AF hormones making me more emotional than usual.

I'm not sure I've ever wished AF on someone before, but fx for you jelly

I'm feeling sad today watching that documentary about becoming new parents probably didn't help and DH is out at work, does anyone have people in real life who know they're ttc? Sometimes I wish I could chat to my friends about it, some of them must be going through the same thing, or even gone through it before they got their babies. Why is ttc such a secret?!

Monday morning ups to all from sunny London toon!

rm so sorry to hear the witch got you.

And mountain, Wiggly and Dulcet I can only imagine how horribly hard it would be to deal with one mc, let alone multiple. Enormous sympathy for you all.

gaggia yes managed some cape action yesterday, and Saturday, and Thursday, and contraband indicated icing on Saturday so hopefully have covered our bases for the month. (DH bless him asked if he was "on point" again tonight, I assured him it would just be for fun! But might jump on him anyway just in case, who am I kidding.) 3 times in 4 days seems like such a paltry effort, considering we were known to do it 3 times a DAY when we were trying for DD! But best we could manage with teenage DSS and a toddler running around.

So I am now officially on day 1 of the TWOT, AF due 5 Oct. Will be needing this lovely bunch of shaggers a lot if I am to keep my head this month I think!

oops coding fail! Meant to be contraband indicated icing on Saturday

Sorry - I can operate a keyboard, really! Mondayitis ahoy!

haha happy monday fresh :) mine started with a fire alarm in work! joy!

Rm, I have told 3 people. Two of them are our best mates who are having a baby in december, we told them we are trying. The other one is an old friend of mine I have known for years, she had a baby in March so I told her because I trust her.

Apart from that, I've not told anyone else. I don't want to tell my parents until we get a BFP and I wouldn't tell my family because they are of the opinion I am too young to have kids and get married. Not even sure I'd tell them if I was pg! Bloody families!

And thanks for the well wishes. I know it's because I am watching out for it, but I am sure I am feeling a lot of "movement" in the pants area, if you know what I mean. I keep feeling stuff I am pretty sure is just CM but keep wanting to dash to bathroom hoping (how weird is that, hoping for AF!)

Morning all,

Back from a lovely weekend in Jersey for Mr B's birthday - loads of fun and took my mind off the twot...8 days DPO and planning on having patience and not POAS until Tuesday 30th. Now totally obsessed again though, and got the real fear last night about my age (40) and how many eggs I may or may not have left! Wondering whether to have tests to find out...I don't want to wait until it's too late to find out if everything is OK in the fertility department, but I'm guessing the NHS wouldn't help given my age, so we'd have to pay?

Wiggly - I'm so, so sorry to hear about the MC - shitty bad luck especially after last month. Early MC must be sooo much more common than anyone thinks (have just read that it's a 50% likelihood in women of my advanced age, which is a lovely find on a Monday morning!) - but having been there, it doesn't actually make you feel any better, especially when GPs and nurses are so blase about it. Be kind to yourself and eat cake. x

xxx

Morning shaggers

Big hugs wiggly & dulcet, so sorry about the mc for you both

It's such a disappointment when AF arrives when you've tried your socks off & then been in agony anticipating... but don't blame yourself. I've only told one friend about TTC as she's in the same position, it does seem a social no-no though.

bothersome glad you had a lovely weekend

jelly fingers crossed that pesky AF isn't too far away...

Waiting to ice this week (should be Thurs) hopefully will be before the weekend as DH is away...fingers crossed & disco pants on!

Hi all, happy Monday!
Sorry so many of us are down in the dumps today. To try and cheer us up I just googled "conception jokes", and was going to post something light hearted. Now I need all of you to solemnly swear NEVER to do this!!! The most sick, bad taste jokes I've read came up! Nearly put me off my flapjack!

rm sorry about the witch
bother 2 of dh's friends started ttc when we did, they were both 42, I was 28, they both now have 5 year olds, I am here. Please don't judge yourself as an age, we are all individuals xxx (that goes for u 2 jelly)

9dpo here and temp still up, not really any other symptoms except for the usual sore boobs. Poaic yesterday pm because I couldn't help it, bfn. In my defence I'd never used an ic before so wanted to practice!!! sorry for the mammoth post, wfh, says it all!!

Ladies, advice needed. TMI Alert - My CM is really really watery. Like ridiculously so, to the point my knickers are wet and I was sure AF had started in a meeting (you know when you can feel it come out?). Also got abdominal cramps.

Does anyone else get watery cm before AF? Or could this be something else (ovulation maybe)? Or my body just reacting to the sudden drop in progesterone?

jelly I get this, posted about it the other day. Sometimes it's brown and kinda looks like tea, don't panic!!
Not sure what point in my cycle I get it as just started charting but think it's before af arrives xx

Ah, thanks Tink - I don't generally have a problem with my age - I actually quite like being a bit older...but there are so many things that get harder/more likely with TTC as you get older, and like it or not, however I feel, my ovaries are 40 and will stop working in the not too distant future - difficult not to feel the fear sometimes Wondering whether to have IVF so we can have twins and not have to worry about whether we have an only child

Oh, and just the fact or you googling conception jokes has cheered me up, so thanks! x