TTC way longer than 10 months past & present

[joycep]

A group of lovely ladies who've seen it all

Aww Critter I'm so pleased twibling is on board and how cute at you and Doug having matching expressions. Let's hope the worry changes to happiness in both cases, very soon! I want a shot of pup's ears though, they do indeed look gorgeous.

Lovely to see you back Drizz, you are very much missed. Though I keep an eye on happenings on t'other place. Is being back at work bearable? Funny how you still didn't quite accept a baby would be arriving. We are very scarred by our TTC experiences aren't we? I hate that so many of us get cheated out of enjoying being pregnant.

Oh Ray great that your natural round draws near. Presumably they will monitor more closely this time? Hope you are doing ok and that the tent is not still home. I agree with whoever said upthread that they are so sad to know that your glowing pics elsewhere hide so much pain. Your time is coming though, I know it. It's just such a long uphill slog though isn't it?

Fluffy, great that you are starting. This could be it for you, yay! Sorry for outing your furtive MN desk activity .

For those that asked, I did indeed sleep better last night. Hot bath, hot chocolate, and no Mr Nelly snoring beside me! Sadly he's back home tonight . I do miss him but sometimes it is nice to have the bed to yourself. I think I must be on a low dose of pred, just 2 tabs a day so 10mg. I am taking them in the morning, Joy, so maybe it's all in my head? In which case, I can talk myself out of it too. I'm not usually an anxious person, but being tired really makes me miserable, so perhaps that's all it is. And am finding the clexane not too bad now, the best night was the night I'd had two rums first . It didn't sting at all then! Haha. I managed to procure a sharps bin finally, although I think they thought I was a bit of a druggy as they wondered why I didn't just have one from my doctor.

Berry I think you asked about timescales, I've emailed again today to see if the donor has had a scan yet. Essentially we won't know for sure until the donor takes her trigger shot; at which point it will be 36 hours until Egg Collection and then 5 days until transfer (hopefully). So I should get a week's notice, but they ought to be able to give me some idea, dependant on how the follies are developing. On my first IVF cycle I stimmed for 16 days (which is quite long) and on my third round only 8. So it's hard to know exactly what will happen!

Sorry for incomplete catch-up, the thread is moving fast now. General waves to everyone I missed. I love that our grads keep up with our goings on too now, it makes such a difference.

Nelly, I was on 10mg too and I took it in the morning. I don't think it affected my sleep but it did give me lovely skin, I think I quite liked being on it :) the clexane is bad but you do get used to it. I found the fragmin hurt more and left me covered in bruises. I did notice that the skin on my tummy seemed to go tough and I found it harder to get the needles to pierce the skin. Makes me cringe to think of it again. We are tough ladies, aren't we?

Critter. Yay to twibling being on board. I hope you have nice, relaxing things planned for this evening. Do you think Doug takes after you then?

Hay - I have been reading but no time to post just recently due to busy workness....although not on Rabbit's level admittedly.

Critter - I am so thrilled and relieved to hear embie number 4 is on board. The anxiety is understandable, you just wouldn't be human if past experiences hadn't impacted on how you feel about things in the present. But objectively the chances of you having a family are very high, James will not be your only child, you can and will do this. You are wonderful and strong and you will reap the rewards. I agree the only way out is through. Big hugs. Oh and is it weird that I can sort of feel Doug's furry ears based on your descriptions??

Nellie - my goodness sweetheart you are now this close (small finger and thumb gap). I have been reading your recent threads intently. I think your percentages of in favour / not in favour of DE were reassuringly high. Not even instadiff couples are usually sure they are doing the right thing. So I'd say your feelings are normal and healthy. Sounds like things are good to go and you are well under way with the druguage. No looking back, you gave other options more than a fair crack of the whip. You can go forward knowing this is your destiny. Stay strong, one foot in front of the other and just you wait to see where you are this time next month. xxx

Den - hoorah for moving forward with the next cycle. I refuse to accept nor do I logically believe that you two are anywhere near the end. I think you and Mr Den have always been the on the receiving end of just missing out and general bad luck. I can see how things could very easily swing the right way for you. Natural cycles do allow for superb egg quality which might just be the tipping point for you both. I agree with Nellie and hope you are no longer camping out in the tent. You deserve to be happy. I won't stop believing for you. xxx

Joy - so wonderful to know that the scans are going to plan. My goodness this first trimester must feel like an eternity and I think reassurance scans are warranted. Oh sweetheart, it's your time to walk in the sunshine (and under that double rainbow). Hope you are feeling well and don't worry if nausea doesn't rear its ugly head, not everyone does get it. Big hugs to you and the joyful ones. xx

Rabbit - hope work has calmed down. You are such a trooper and they should pay you in gold!!! Thinking of you always. xxx

Hi to Drizz - glad young drizzle is doing well. Sorry to hear about the gallstones - ouch. x

Hi to Euro, Buzz & Gin and mini peeps too.

Right trying to catch up with the new ladies next. Apologies if I have any info muddled.....

Sam - totally agree with what others have said about Swimmers being up and down over the months and your numbers for morph sound fine to me - similar to ours and that side of things was never an issue. Again different people had different (often out of date) ideas about what was norm. It's always worth making small changes to get them to optimum. Lycopene is a proven nutrient to help swimmers which can be found in tomato soup / tomato sauce and bolognaise and tomato juice etc. Also there was a herbal remedy which is supposed to help, can't remember the name - pine bark or something? Have either / both of you considered acupuncture or reflexology. It won't cure a significant problem but might tip things in to the healthy range. Apologies if I am way off the mark with any of this. Sorry it is stressful when people are trying to be nosey and find out if you plan to have babies - I know its a horrid and upsetting feeling. It's just so rude.

Fluffy - sorry that the HSG showed tubal damage. Although you seem to be dealing with it much better than I did. It is quite distrssing though isn't it to see the images looking 'not what they should be to say the least'. But as others have said, tubes do become redundant anyway during IVF so bypassing them means you have very good chances indeed and you have many reasons to be positive. I have a bit of an unhealthy interest in tubes after spending years researching the different types of problems with them. So do feel free to ask any questions. My tube was damaged on the very outer end (fimbrial end) with scar tissue connecting one to the ovary. This meant bodily fluids pooled in the scar tissue, tipped back down the tube in to the womb and regularly flushed out embryos with toxic fluid after the healthy fallopian tube had allowed an egg to fertilise. Mine wasn't a true blockage so was repaired in surgery and caused by (we think) miscarriage debris. Surgery isn't always a successful option for many types of tubal problems but it is something that does come up in discussions with the medical team to increase chances of IVF sometimes for some reasons. So give me a shout if you want to message me about anything. Did they say if you had a hydrosalpinx or not? Anyway the overriding thing is you are very likely to get your baby. Things sound really good. Wishing you lots of luck.

Toes- I agree that 27 isn't that young but in the world of fertility it will give you a bit more time to play with. However, when you want a baby bad, then you just do and waiting at any age is a killer. And I know it hurts like mad. Wishing you lots of luck.

Berry - welcome and really hoping your dog is doing ok after her op? Wising you lots of luck too.

Cos - just wanted to say that's great about your new clinic. Don't lose heart. Things are on your side - shiny womble sans septum, progesterone issues are known about and still plenty of eggletts. Thinking of you and cheering you on big time. xx

Sarlat - you just summarised exactly how I feel about it! Wish they would just stop being nosy!

We've only just had the results so haven't really had time to look in to nutrients etc... But mr can definitely start eating (drinking?) more tomato soup... Can't hurt!

I'm open to reflexology... Not sure what he would think though...

Hurrah for pupo critter! That's great. Perfect defrosting isn't a given, so the thawing is a big hurdle. I second the suggestion of giving look alike doug a big cuddle!

Glad you had a good nights sleep, nelly! And also that you like mr at home :) fingers crossed for good things.

Btw as to enjoying diffment, I didn't at all til 20 weeks. Scarred by ttc and mc. But I was really pleased to have left the endless circles and cycles of treatment as soon as we got past 10 weeks or so. I lived my belly with kicking lembie in it til the final stages when I got worried again. Life with lembie has its challenges but generally has been absolutely wonderful and worth all the waiting and treatment etc!

Sam meet sar! She's our wonderful and amazing grad who always has the right words to describe whatever you're feeling or struggling through. Lovely to see you too :)

Waves at all the others, it's been a full and knackering day (made it to work on time and all).

Loved the belly...

Sar it's so wonderful to hear from you. As Drizz says, you always have the right words. We miss you

What is the other drug for Ray? On phone so can't read back. Also, good skin?? How so, what did it do (steroids I mean). Can't say I'm seeing any difference but perhaps the bags under my eyes are taking over

Joy how's things? And Critter, though I know it's too early for anything physical.

Druggage carries on. Today I'm up to 3 cyclacur a day. Got a reply to say ET would be within 14 to 21 days of my medication. Today is day 7. Luckily this fits within the time off work I've booked but only because I've worked it out myself?! And presumably donor isn't ready to trigger yet as I would have heard.

Gotta dash, speak later.

Yay for being PUPO, Critter. Com'on twibling!

BTW, I have resigned so that will probably mean fewer visits to your city as it was the base of my firm. :( I have a new job to go to, with more money and a promotion, but I keep having a crisis of confidence about whether or not I am doing the right thing. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I think I have lost some confidence during mat leave so going back to a new challenge (starting a new department) is intimidating me a bit. Hopefully it will be ok when I get there! There is a big conference there in my area in Feb though which I am hoping to get to. :)

Wow nelly you are nearly there!

drizz the only bit of pregnancy I enjoyed was when I started to feel her kick (around 20 weeks) until the "bad scan" when we found out things were going wrong at 28 weeks. Otherwise it was just bloody stressful!

rabbit how are you?

joy how are you doing?

Wow euro congrats on the new job! You will be awesome at it and well done you for getting a new gig and looking after a tiny baby! When do you start?

nelly that's exciting, so you're at most two weeks away from being PUPO! Hopefully this time next month you will be pregnant.

sar you always say such lovely things.

lemon Apart from morning sickness and insomnia I loved being pregnant, I was so ridiculously happy - I guess because I hadn't ever had a mc. And actually as that was the time I had with my baby, despite what happened at the end, I am so glad that I enjoyed it, IYSWIM. Am sure it may be different next time.

fluffy hang on to that positivity when your drugs arrive tomorrow - I got really freaked out at that stage but it's worth persevering and cracking on. You'll be a pro at the injecting in no time! YouTube is really helpful.

ray is AF looming yet?

joy thinking of you and hoping all continues to go well with the twinks.

Waves to everyone else, especially our lovely newbies.

AFM I had a massive panic on the evening of the transfer... I was walking the pooch around the park, there's a bit of slope that he loves to sniff around which ends abruptly in about a metre-high wall. Over the past few weeks I have been taking him down there, and then just jumping off the wall when we get to it so we can move on to walk around the lower part of the park. So of course I did that on Tuesday about 7 hours after my transfer. It wasn't onto concrete, just hard packed earth, but it was still a big jolt. Doug can do the jump too but he always looks a bit panicked first with his short little legs. Of course about 40 seconds later I remembered I'd just had an embie transfer seven hours earlier and they told me not to do strenuous exercise and to take it easy. Why am I such an idiot, I get so forgetful and distracted that I do stupid things. The internet seems to not think it's a problem but I still got myself really panicked about having messed up the implantation process.

also sar I love that you can virtually 'feel' Doug's ears. I gave him a beef marrow bone yesterday and it was like all his Christmases had come at once.

Critter, a jolt like that won't have done anything bad. The cervix is tightly shut and the womb is like a big comfy, soft quilt. The only thing my clinic tells me to avoid is sauna because of the overheating risk. I bet Doug is thinking he has well and truly landed on his feet :)

Euro. Congrats on the new job. I also think you'll be fab. I'm so impressed that you could even think of getting a new job while looking after c on maternity leave. When will you start? Is c going to nursery?

Lemons. Is the gall bladder thing related to pregancy?

I had a lovely surprise today ho ho ho. Thank you so much to whoever it was. I love you all xx

I'm half out the tent :) :)

Sar - lovely sweet words as always. Love it when you pop in.

Nelly/ - hope you are alright on this druggage. Not too much longer to go now. Glad it all fits around work.

Euro - well done on the new job. Can I ask why women lose their confidence during maternity leave? This seems to be very common and I don't quite understand why. I guess your line of work is quite competitive is it?

Aah Critter lovely. Your embie will be fine. It wouldn't have even felt the jump but I fell down stairs on my way out of clinic in first round and had a similar panic but was told it would have no effect. I hope you are ok, not too long to wait now. Interesting you loved pregnancy. I really hope you will be able to enjoy your next pregnancy, I really do.

Ray - I am so pleased you on the way out of the tent. Have you managed to book in a natural cycle?? I am curious to know about your surprise

Booked myself in for a scan a week tomorrow. I am anxious and paranoid and spend every day googling for people with twins and no symptoms. Any tiredness and breathlessness I had have long gone and I feel nothing which just is very odd. No cramps to suggest growth either. My Gp asked me today where I would like to give birth yet in my head I was planning where I would have an erpc. Twisted thoughts. I can only wait now.

Joy, it's partly just being away from the work place and out of the loop. For example there is a client I have been dealing with for bits and pieces over four years and done a damn good job. I left the client with a colleague while I was on mat leave and suddenly the case got really busy. The client is following us to our new firm, but has apparently said they want my colleague to take the lead. It's not surprising- so much has happened over the past few months that although I gave been following events on email I am now quite out of the loop. But it was a real kick in the teeth. Four years of nurturing that client undone by being away at the wrong time.

And for me it's also appearance related. I went from natty little work outfits with snazzy heels to only being able to fit into a few maternity bits. And my boobs leak so I always smell of off milk. I'd always been fairly anal about getting my clothes ironed, even night clothes. There doesn't seem much point when I often don't leave the house and things get covered in bodily fluids fairly quickly!

And then there's the exhaustion which definitely affects your thought processes. Some days I am too tired to even follow a fairly simple storyline on a TV show.

So those are a few thoughts on why I have lost confidence. I hope that going back to work will reinvigorate me. But my old job would have been the far more comfortable option and I find myself wishing I hadn't resigned.

Euro, I felt a bit like that re: appearance. Going back to work actually helped, cos once you've left home there are no more bodily fluids spilled on you (except if you mess up expressing). I can wear heels and my old wardrobe again and that made me feel better. Although I am tired a lot of the time (and I am prone to fall asleep in dull meetings - but I always was) I feel a lot more like the old lemon when at work. There is the huge difference with going home now. I won't be late and the best part of any day are lembie cuddles and giggles. I do still feel slower and thicker than prepregnancy.

Sorry out of place on conception!

Keeping everything crossed for a good scan today joy! And your twibling won't have noticed a thing, critter! Yay for surprises, ray and for leaving the tent.

Big waves to all.

nelly ooooooh its getting closer :)

critter one of the reprofit ladies had travelled from the states for treatment was on her way back she was rushing between flights and slipped down some stairs, she was worried about it, she still got a BFP :)

Argh, I just wrote out a post and then lost it! Sorry for lack of posting this week, work has been busy!

Nelly glad you're sleeping better and have a bit more info about dates. I have no problem with injections but the thought of injecting myself is not a pleasant one so I take my hat off to all of you who have had to go through that!

ray glad you are feeling a bit better.

Sar and driz nice to 'meet' you. I think it's lovely that the grads still pop in to the thread. It shows what a support you have all been to each other.

Euro congratulations on the new job. From what you have said, I think we may do the same job (solicitor?)

Critter I've been thinking of you and hope you are coping ok with the waiting. I'm sure the jump won't have done the embie any harm. When are you planning to test?

Joy I hope the scan goes well today. I always think to myself that if I get pregnant again I'd like to be chucking up every day just so I 'felt' pregnant. I'm sure I'd change my mind pretty quickly if that actually happended. I will be checking back this afternoon and hoping to see news of another positive scan.

berry I'll probably test on Tuesday, which would be 12dpo if this was an 'unassisted' cycle. If you get to the injecting stage, it's nerve-wracking at first but you get used to it very quickly, like all things in life!

buzz thank you for the positive story. I did also read about a woman who fell down five icy concrete stairs post transfer who went on to have twins, which has made me feel better. I guess it's probably ok to exercise and DTD too and stop using ET as an excuse to eat chocolate and sit on my arse . Is mini bee walking yet?

joy is your scan today or next Friday? I thought it was next Friday but might have read your message wrong. I can understand the fear but I really think this is your time, heaven knows you have waited long enough. I know it's not the same but last cycle before I tested I had all manner of 'symptoms' - cramps, tiredness, feeling ill, the works - and of course my test was negative. Lots of people have no symptoms, my mum said she didn't at all with her pregnancies. I have everything crossed for you.

lemon and euro I find the maternity leave confidence chat fascinating. Please don't feel it's inappropriate for here! We are one big family of preggos, mums, and will-be-mums. Do you think there is any way that you could have reduced the confidence dip, or is it just one of those inevitable things? euro I remember how beautifully you dress, very chic. And I am sure you don't smell of off milk, it's probably just that your post-partum nose is super sensitive!

ray I'm glad you're half out of the tent. Will the next round be this coming cycle? I hope they monitor you more carefully this time.

I too got a ho ho ho surprise in my inbox. Thank you so much to whoever it was. I was just thinking last night that the women I have met on this board are closer to me in many ways than some of my real life friends, even though I've never met most of you in person. I seriously couldn't have gotten through the last year without you.

Are joy and bunny our only two preggos now? It seems like all the other grads must have had their babies - or am I forgetting someone?

Sorry joy, I read that wrong! Your scan is a week today, not today.

Sorry Joy! I got the scan confusion started. Tired brain!

Sitting on your arse and eating chocolate combined with doug walks seems a good way to keep going til td, critter. I love the ladies on here too. I did need a big break to get my head around life with lembie. But now I am my old self, just happier, less bitter and often knackered.

Ooh nelly! That is soon :) Very exciting!!

Btw confidence dip was mostly professional and appearance. Although I feel like I am never good enough, I potter round the neighbourhood incredibly proud in my milk and puke stained clothes!

critter that is so kind of you to encourage me. I will start in the New Year. Thanks for saying that you don't find the maternity leave chat inappropriate. I hated people tiptoeing around my infertility and preferred people to speak freely, but I realise that not everyone feels the same way. (And if it does make anyone else uncomfortable, please let me know.)

A little bump won't have done any harm at all. My clinic told me to think of the embie as a seed in a jam sandwich! It is quite well stuck in there after transfer.

berry yes, I am a lawyer too. What do you do (if you are comfortable saying)? I do a niche area of dispute resolution.

driz I think the sleep deprivation must have some lasting effect in terms of brain power. Even though C is now sleeping a bit better most nights, I have months of very broken nights to make up for and that will take a long while.

Hi all, hope everyone is ok?
Got hubby's repeat tests results which just said 'normal' with no breakdown of the levels so can only assume that's a good sign?

In other news af is currently 7 days late. Poas several times but all negative so not sure what's going on. I have NEVER been this late! X

Hi Sam - results sound good. I think you can ring the lab for more info about the results but generally sounds like everything is fine. Maybe go to the GP and try and get a blood test for the missing AF? Fingers crossed.