How do you manage the monthly disappointment?

[Portlypenguin]

Dear people,

I have a lovely DS aged just 3 and we have been TTC#2. In 2ww of cycle 4 now. I know it is a very short time but last time we conceived ( by good luck) on cycle 1 so i am inexperienced at waiting. I have had one v early miscarriage recently (feb).

Any tips? I seem to convince myself i am pregnant every month and then am not.

All of DS' little buddies already have siblings and people keep going on about our bigger gap. It was a work/stress/mood related gap decision which was inevitably but now i feel guilty for some unknown reason and like it is my fault i am not pregnant yet.

I know we are lucky to have one child and there are many of you who have been ttc for much longer - perhaps it just gets a bit less disappointing with time.

Advice or just 'cope with it' statements welcomed!

Thanks Donna and Bobsy - fingers crossed we get some resolution soon. In the meantime... Best just keep shagging!

So I got my peak today on my Cbfm, dtd last night and will do tonight so fingers crossed for me lol

In 6 months I've become an auntie twice to first time mums, 2 colleagues have had babies and another has announced her pregnancy.

I got upset because a friend told me she only took 3 months after coming off the pill before falling pregnant then later confessed to others that it was well over a year. Hasn't said anything to me and I don't want to make an argument as it was a year ago that she told me that, but now we've hit 12 months of trying it's playing on my mind.

My DP wanted to see our niece (4 months old) on the day my last af came and I couldn't face it for a few days. Am I crazy?

Fingers crossed for you Ladyboluna. I'm due to ovulate any day.

No you're not crazy at all, it's always so much worse when AF is here (its bad enough anyway) I was on a night out a few weeks ago when a friend announced she was pregnant with her second only just started trying! I had AF in full flow & all I wanted to do for the rest of the night was go home & cry! And I did just that when I did get home!

We have been trying for a while now. DH has to go for sperm tests next month, as it looks likely there may be some problems there.

There were a succession of months where I didn't cope very well. So now I have chucked my OPKs, deleted Fertility Friend, and will have wine if I choose. I don't take TTC into account when I make plans for the future- I have managed to shoehorn myself into a state of mind where DD remains our only.

Things have been massively better since then. I don't like TTC, I really don't. I'm sure it's a lot of fun if you catch within 3 months, after having lots of sex and giggling over OPKs: that was certainly my attitude, until the months started mounting up, and we discovered we may have issues. But generally, I think it's rubbish. I can't put my life- and my daughter's- on hold like that

My after is due tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it will arrive so tonight I'm enjoying a glass of champagne and tomorrow I will plan do something that you can't do when you're pregnant like go to a theme park and go on all of the big rides. Ha. It's such an emotional roller coaster. I was convinced that we'd won this month because I had cramping a week after ovulation and have felt tired and sick for about a week. However I've poas everyday this week almost and they've all been negative. I know I shouldn't have done it but I really thought this was the month. :( there's always next month I suppose.

Thanks Bobsyboo, good luck for you too, hopefully we'll have BFP's together this month!

I had a good cry when my last AF came as it was the 12th one since TTC, bit of a silly reason really but people talk about waiting to hit that number so they can go for tests so I felt like that was it. Hormones don't help either at that time, lol.

Valerie I went the opposite, sorta. Spent a year enjoying just DTD (did do lots a few pregnancy tests early out of excitement, used an app just to remember when AF was roughly due and that was it. I think it will burn me out after a few months though, like you say it's better to just stop thinking about it as it does take up a lot of your life and time in the end.

MrsG AF at the beginning of this month was due 2 days before I was going to alton towers, I almost didn't buy the ticket but then I thought aha maybe if I do it would be sods law that I get a bfp! Yet it wasn't to be. Ah well.

Af got me this morning :( I wish I could forget about it all but it's always on my mind. X

Sending you a hug Mrsg xx

Oh mrsg have some wine and pate and smelly cheese tonight. Af is a cow. X

Yep fingers crossed for us Ladyboluna

No hormones don't help at all. It's awful what we have to go through & what makes it worse for me is OH isn't very understanding.

So sorry MrsG1245 , it's so hard to just forget about it.

Wine. We also have a 3 1/2 yo DS and it took 13 months of trying to get pregnant again, only to miscarry. Then another 8 months... to miscarry again! Pregnant again 6 months after last miscarriage and hoping for a good outcome (14 weeks now) but I understand how frustrating it is feeling left behind as your DC's peers' mums seem to pop out siblings with ease.

to you

I just enjoyed all the unprotected sex and every month that passed without a pregnancy meant another month of not having to use any contraception.

Thanks ladies. Good luck to you all! I too enjoy the unprotected sex. Ha. It feels wonderful not to use any contraception so I shall enjoy it while I can. :) we've just put our house up for sale and so I think I might try and concentrate on house type things rather than baby making. See if I can distract myself a little... For months I've been taking my temperature everyday (which I've found fun although I'm not sure why) and I think i might have a month off that too. Who is due a bfp next? Xx

Hi all, I'm in the same sort of boat. TTC#1.

Think back to how I was last November all like "oh dear my bf is getting married on October I might be due then"

Hahahahaaa. Yeah right.

I am today 15dpo. I feel different this time (although I thought I felt different last times). My sense of smell is off the scale, I think I'm aware of my boobs being sensitive, I'm shattered (I'm always shattered).

This month I got my doc to test my blood and all my h

Hi all, I'm in the same sort of boat. TTC#1.

Think back to how I was last November all like "oh dear my bf is getting married on October I might be due then"

Hahahahaaa. Yeah right.

I am today 15dpo. I feel different this time (although I thought I felt different last times). My sense of smell is off the scale, I think I'm aware of my boobs being sensitive, I'm shattered (I'm always shattered).

This month I got my doc to test my blood and all my hormones are normal.

I'm too scared to test. After spaffing £100s to date on ultrasounds, hpts and clearblue ovustick things, I'm done.

Altho, got an appoinent with te witch doctor for voodoo later (acupuncture) so that's £55 I could save if I am knocked up?!

Argh. Hate this whole process!!

Told myself to man up so got a first response at lunch. That's £7.99 I'll never see again, ffs.

This month I'm going to cope with the disappoinent by starting acupuncture and weeping a bit. Woohoo, I know how to live.

Hope others have better luck.

MrsD looking at previous cycles and using the ovulation smiley sticks, luteal phase is usually 14 days but I've had one month where period started on 16dpo and one at 15dpo.

This is crap. Wine,wine and a whine tonight I guess.

My cycle is 40 days long too, another kick in the cunt. Sorry if languag offends but it helps me!!

Hi ladies, can I join you?

OneDay, 27, TCC no1, MMC June 2014 (First proper cycle after ERPC for MMC 23/06/14) AF due 17th August

I'm DPO and tested with a FRER this morning, BFN. This lead to a huge crying session on poor DH. I'm desperate to be pregnant again. Trying to stay positive by drumming in the 'you're not out until AF arrives' mantra. I've also been looking at my FF app and noticing a temp dip yesterday and looking at all the charts where people have tested BFN at 10DPO and gone on to get BFP's but I just feel utterly utterly shite and gutted. Big glass of zinfandel with my name on it tonight.

DH has begged me not to put myself through POAS everyday now until AF arrives on Sunday but I'm a glutton for punishment

Oops, that meant to say 'I'm 10DPO'

Oh dear

Bloody post didn't post!!

Meant to say oh dear sounds awful Oneday, but honestly honestly don't do it to yourself.

This whole thing is so shitty, you don't need to make life more difficult.

Also. 10dpo is too soon. Most people who get bfp at "10 dpo" have miscalculated their ov date, so don't despair. Leave it until af arrives; getting that excitement and then the low when only 1 fucking line appears is too wounding.

You're not out anyway. So bin they sticks and live in a state of hope, it's got to be healthier than daily tears for a week :-(