Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Arrr Pis, awesome news! Look forward to the digi in the morning!

Morning viroids! My body is in agony! Took my horse to show jumping last night for first time, he did so well but I obviously used muscles that have never before seen light of day!

Mr La is working double shifts just now so no cape action for me! Probably just as well...not sure I can move

Aw hope you feel better soon Lala. Maybe we need an AIBU reference in the title seeing as we're all so obsessed by it.

.

AIBU to expect pis to come on here and update us soon?

congratulations pis!! dying to know what your DP says

xxxx

YANBU, not at all lala. thats what I'm here for.

YANBU!

Awaiting call back from DP.... In short - you, lovely viroids, were absolutely right of course! Best £11 I've ever pissed on! In other news I won £25 on the lottery last night so technically that covers my testing addiction for now too

Whoop whoop whoop!! Are you going to confess your covert peeing to him? xx

Hoooraaay!! A little glasto baby (not really but sort of!). Congratulations! What a lovely end to the Fred.

Will you call her dolly or him Metallica?

congrats PiS, bet it was lovely to see it in words. if I ever see a line I will definitely have to get it in words to believe it!

As if you could doubt is pis, we are always right! Congrats lovely! Hope DP gets back to you soon!

Inability to move doesn't prevent DTD lala! You can lie there, he does the hard work! It's very romantic and sexy that way..!

I think I'd made it clear I wasn't going to be able to resist the urge. If I have to give up wine and good cheese till March next year - I'm allowed a safe addiction until then right

I'm going to have to call him... I'm going to burst. I'll tell him he has an awesome penis

Haha Dulcet that sounds like the voice of experience!

Congratulations Pis! A little Glasto baby. Awesome.

pis I feel all emotional for you. Congrats!

la try some deep heat on your thighs maybe. It might give you an extra thrill.

I had ov pains in the night and the right side was agonizing. Couldn't sleep properly because of it.

Wee baby Mud/Eavis/Pilton/Worthy.... Not sure any of those are quite right. Dolly/Metallica it is!

Haha dulcet!

Thanks y'all! I have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to do next..... Should I be making an appointment with GP now or in a couple of weeks?

Eurgh Gaggia that sounds nasty :-/ any swimmers to catch it?

pis Maybe. We dtd at 4pm and I was icing last night so fingers crossed.
Call your GP surgery now they will either give you an appointment or add you on to the midwives list. Some surgeries insist you poas again for them.

You will be officially booked in with the midwives at 7-8 weeks. This is all very exciting bet you can't wait!.

Look it up online pis, many places you can self refer to midwife and so cut out pointless GP visit. You can do it now or wait a week or two if you prefer. Wouldn't wait much longer than that though.

I'm allergic to Deep Heat, the thought of that on my thighs would not induce sexy thoughts.

Annoyingly I have to provide them with a urine sample before 10.30am before they'll give me an appointment a few days later! They're usually pretty good with appointments - I shouldn't have said what it was for. That'll have to wait until next week. DP reckons he gets to choose the name as I peed on the stick

I wouldn't want to get Deep Heat anywhere near my fanjo mint flavoured Original Source shower gel on the other hand..

Wait wait.. Whassis??

I'm allergic to deep heat too! That would not make for sexy times - big red throbbing fanjo and not in a good way!

What a pain pis! Me and popz were complaining no one ever tested us and we could have been lying but your GP seems to have that fixed!

They send it away to be tested. Maybe to the same place as Kato's piss - seems like a waste of time/money to me. I'd have happily bought them a stick itches to buy more sticks

When I had DS I wasn't tested but that was another surgery/city/lifetime ago....

I can't quite picture a big red throbbing fanjo in a good way....

Oh would anyone like a bundle of OPK sticks? No idea how I came by them bought after worrying I'd missed my icing date they'll only be going in the bin otherwise.

Er, I can confirm that the original source shower gel is interesting... My mum has thoughtfully provided it for her guests

Extra congrats Pis!

Who's next up in the twot? I'm just waving the witch off and unpacking my cape...