Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

I am dying to get on computer and see this fantastic piss-hat kato! Intrigued! Do you have to collect it every morning? How much? At what point do you send it away? And what of the hat - I do realise it's not a hat but I think it should be does it have to be worn during the feed? Is it reusable? So many questions!

"Dear intercourse diary, it's me Kato..."

luna sorry witch came :( stoopid coo.

mini I do dressage and allsorts with him, he's my pet first and foremost tho so I'm sad to let him go

Fx for today pis!

Cape was on last night and my disco pants were gold sequinned, dh said they were a bit scratchy.

Really late for work, need to move my ass!

No PIAPT today. DP asked me to wait until tomorrow so he can be there. I'll be driving for about seven hours today (work) so probably best not to have any distractions anyway!

Good work Lala and hi before waves

Morning all!

lots to catch up on. Will read back.

Hope you all have a lovely day.

Hello viroids, how is everyone today? I am at work, bored to death...

fattycow...I feel your pain.

bored to tears here and lost all motivation!

Bah - I wrote a really long post and it got lost. Just imagine me saying lovely things to you all (especially dulcet )

Please can I pick your brains about holidays when ttc? What to bear in mind? Nowhere with too much risk of traveller's tum or requiring vaccinations. We're thinking of Nov so would be long haul, and by that time I might be a few months pg, or a tiny bit, or not at all... Our top picks are the US (but not hurricane territory) or Japan.

Basically just desperate not to put life on hold.

Both Japan and the US sound lovely. If you fall pregnant today, you would be about between 18 and 22 weeks tops, so flying is still no problem.

Work is driving me insane with boredom. I resorted to playing games (am alone in the office with low risk of anybody walking in and if they do, they can't see my screen). I don't really like my job, but it pays well and is really flexible. It would be ideal during pregnancy and afterwards.
Making my savings account look healthy and the idea of a flexible job while pregnant keeps me going. Now I just need to get pregnant! Hmm, where is that husband of mine...

I didn't even use the piss-hat kato, its still under the bed. It looked harder than just collecting it as normal!

It's good to have something to look forward to tabby so holiday is an excellent idea! I've not been to either of those so can't advice. Have been to Canada and that was amazing - so big! Can recommend. Going to US in a couple of weeks (Southern) so can tell you then if I like it!

Sorry to see you back here too before but fx for you in two weeks time. Hope you aren't feeling too low.

Its not particularly exotic Tabby but I'm a big fan of the Canary Islands - they pretty much get sun 365 days a year so it'd still be nice in Nov!

Is the piss hat like those vom hats you get in A&E?? Can't see on the app!!

Thanks viroids. Dulcet, where are you heading to? Would love to hear about it.

Kato, the internet demands that you wear the piss hat! I can see the pics on my phone but teeny tiny so no idea what's going on.

We are going to Nashville - very excited! Will report back.

The piss-hat is designed to go over/in the toilet so you can wee as normal but it catches everything - does that help you visualise?!

Oooh... eeurrgh... that sounds worse than a vom hat!!

Oh my god *kato' I just logged onto desktop to look at pics. How much stuff is required to send piss by post!? That's mental!

tabby what about somewhere like Tennessee or LA? Never been to japan but I'd love to go. I travelled quite a lot when I was younger and Sri Lanka is my favourite place of all time. I'd love to go to Canada

hi all, erk, lots to catch up on!
So sorry about your mc Dulcet but hugs and welcome back to the fred. CD8 here so gearing up for some cape action soon. Has anyone used that pre-seed stuff? I'm thinking of getting some, it's darned expensive though! Does normal lube really kill off the swimmers?

splodge normal lubes contain spermicide so yes bad bad bad for swimmers! I used pre-seed for a few months. it was comfortable/pleasant enough. dh thought it was OK. but clearly wasn't enough to help his swimmers as I'm still here with no bfp!

been a mad day helping get ready for my bffs wedding. can't believe its in 2 days!

lildottie have fun at the wedding. Maybe you'll get upduffed afterwards.

Splodge I used preseed the month I got upduffed. I think it was the clincher for me because I've never seen much in the way of cm... but I can't be sure! I did a lot of new stuff that month... terrible scientist haha. Try ebay and amazon for slightly cheaper prices x

Aaah Lil I love weddings!! Have a great time x

Hmmm..... DP is not convinced. I am Not Allowed To Get Excited until I test again (Saturday I.e. One week late)

Hope it goes well for your friend Lil

Is that a faint line pis? Get a digi one! Yes get a digi! Waaaaaaaa ive just got all excited for you.

Eek!

Shhhhh Not Allowed To Get Excited (sooooooo getting a digi.....)

pis yaaaaaaaaay! That's a good idea. Also a bunch of strangers on the internet are desperate to know!

CD11 here. DP is working nights shifts though and Im supposed to be going out after work on Friday when he's off. Not sure how we will fit in any JSing. Unless one of you tells me to not go out on Friday.......please!

Before work and come home after a couple of drinks?

We will get excited on your behalf then, Pis!