Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

pis cape on, sparkly disco pants on, ultimate contraband says go for it and the awesome penis is home tonight. Am hopeful this is the month!

Shakes sparkly pompoms Give us an 'S', S! Give us an 'H', H! etc etc - sounds like your egg doesn't know what's about to hit it

NB do not picture the JSers cheering you from the corner of the bedroom - it'll put you right off.

Good to see you Dulcet

I'm on the TWOT and not hopeful at all...

BUT

My box of piss by post ultimate contraband arrived at work today!

Seems to have a nice hat included, how kind!

Already feeling inadequate about the intercourse event diary.

Every day! you've to record, even the no shags!

lots of BIOHAZARD labels to amuse the post office staff too...

Is that.... peers closer to screen ... an ultimate contraband piss collector with measuring lines and a handy spout? At least when you're upduffed you'll have a handy jug for the kitchen.

I've been wondering over how to use contraband dicreetly in work purely curious but you'd have no chance with that! Unless you christened it your shitting hat (a la Dave Gorman)

Hahaha intercourse event diary?!?
Fancy dress intercourse
Cheese and wine intercourse
Day at the races intercourse

The box is under my desk with a few company brochures on top!

I'm not sure how this is going to work actually, They say I've to collect fmu and store it in the fridge... Will they find out if I don't do it?

Hmm that sounds easier as you can do that at home at least.... How long do you have to keep each one? They're not going to stay chilled in the post are they?

Yes, but DH still doesn't know either...

What've I got myself into??

Tell him you're doing it for the shopping vouchers! So long as you don't take swabs after sex or write your diary while DTD I'm sure he won't mind...

Disclaimer: advice on relationships is totally unqualified

kato what a cool box of goodies!

dulcet so sorry to hear about your mc. for you and wishing you a smooth journey ahead x

lala Iberians are so beautiful. Do you do much dressage with him? So sorry to hear you will be loaning him out. Must have been a really hard decision for you make.

So, CD10 here and got a surprise positive on contraband opk this morning (Sorry for breaking the rules already - please don't chuck me off the thread!) so we had a cheeky cape donning session this morning. Might try again tonight, but the cape isn't used to that level of action

Buying a twin pack HPT could only end one way. A mid-afternoon, cheeky test because I'm fucking insane curious enough to waste £1.75. I swear there's a shadow there though... I do wonder if people will themselves to see what they want to see but it definitely looks different to yesterday's.... Of course there's only one thing for it - try again tomorrow.

Really didn't want to use my last test so popped on my +1 pretty panties of fate-tempting and as feared ERTD came over as soon as it heard about the pretty panties. Am now sat cuddling a hot water bottle and desperately waiting for the (very late) carpet man to come and leave so I can go the the pharmacy and buy new pads for my tens machine because I'm somehow out of both tens pads and the last of my stash of tramadol :( pops on the Grey's Anatomy and breaks out the Pâté and wine Roll on next month...

oooh pis hopefully tomorrow brings good news!

kato that is an envy inspiring stash of contraband, and I'm not so sure that'd make a good hat, though assuming you don't pee in it (I'm totally assuming it's meant to be a piss pot?) you could use it as a cocktail jug... or bowl, it looks pretty huge from here...

Ah sorry Luna - hope she buggers off quickly. Enjoy the in the meantime.

I am trying the pretty white knickers trick but they're being defiantly white. I think she's waiting for me to really splash out on a pricey digi test but Ha! I'm too tight for her wicked schemes. More supermarket cheapies for me.

dulcet good to see you girl. Lovely cape too, xx

Could have bloody sworn I posted on here earlier!!

Welcome back Dulcey xx

Hey dulcet Welcome back waves and hugs

oh dulcet. in the nicest possible way I really wish you weren't back here. so so so sorry. hope u and dh are ok. its been such a long road for you already, I hope it happens again quickly for you this time.

hello lovelies.

Am back off my jolly bobs and awaiting ertd.

Dulcet so sorry to hear your news but glad to hear you're trying. big hug xxx

Thanks all. Honestly gutted to be back but couldn't wish for better company at least. We are back to the clinic tomorrow so maybe some answers and a way forward. We are both ok I think lil, bit raw as was only 10 days ago but trying to stay as positive as possible. It had to happen to someone...

Sounded potentially exciting for you pis, fx for tomorrow morning!

Can't believe it was only 10 days ago Dulce. Seems like an age since we heard from you. Glad things are moving forward for you anyway. Hugs to you and Mr D. You're a trouper.

Ayles! How was the hol??

Thanks dulcet I'm sorry you've had a rough time of it. Hope you have some good news soon x

Welcome back Dulcet, hope all goes well at clinic.

I'm on the app so can't see your stash Kato. Very intrigued by piss-hat.

Fx for tomorrow Pis.

Hi all,

Just catching up as I have been absenting myself while I get my head around TTC and still feeling low post mc. I am getting there. Dulcet I am really sorry for your loss but glad to hear about the new cape.

My cape is somewhat neglected but I think I'm now twotting. There's a chance, albeit a slim one. And you may be proud, I sold my contraband on EBay before I ever got a chance to use it. I may come to regret that , but who knows. It was never my thing.

Hope you're all well, will try and keep up a bit better from here on...