Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Headache
Nausea
Constipation
Peeing like a racehorse
Sneezing
Exhausted

Somebody give me a hooyah

hooya purple! but fx these are symptoms!

thanks guys. turns out he didn't listen realise the partners were coming too. long story short we had a argument on the phone then made up over text! and he came to dinner!

sorry splodge have and

Fanks Lil. Glad you sorted himself out.

I've been distracting myself with Greys season 2 tonight. I'm working my way through from the start. I only discovered it at season 9

I need all the distraction I can get. I'm trying not to think obsess too much

I love Greys purple. I think when it eventually finishes I will probably buy the box set and watch it all over again!

Sorry splodge

lil so glad it's sorted! I know just what you mean - my dh isn't very keen on meeting new propel and also works weekends so getting him to come to stuff can be tough and I get fed up making excuses for him. But it sounds like this was genuinely that he didn't realise.

Witch has well and truly got me and I've been in agony all night. She really is quite rude turning up so late then causing a fuss! I don't feel well at all

But it did mean I got up and peed in a cup for ultimate contraband. Unfortunately I them forgot about it and left the pot in the bathroom. Mr La just asked me why it's there, oops!

wow lala do you have to poas from cd1 for yours? mine starts between cd6 and9,depending on your cycle once its learned a bit. and that's annoying enough. sorry the witch came at all, let alone messing you about and causing u so much pain. she's a total bitch

No apparently not! I'd done it just in case but it didn't want it today (it was cd2 so I was being extra cautious after missing it last month)

I'm not feeling in the slightest bit upduffed but am still desperately trying to apply symptoms where there are none. Just gagged on an olive - I normally love them - I'm claiming that as my symptom for today. AF due on Saturday.

Mini hooya purple but fx

I've been on my own in the office for a couple of days so I'm feeling easily distracted. Must focus..... I'm arranging so babysitting for DS on Saturday for some friends. It'll do him good to get practising - not that he knows it

Fx purple and pis!

Best friend has announced she's pg after only a couple months trying, it feels like everyone around me is pregnant or giving birth.

My neighbour had hers yesterday, my cousin is due in few weeks, 2 friends had babies last week, 3 in the past month. Girl at work just announced she's pregnant.

I'm a bit sad today coz all I can feel is the pain in my stomach and it makes me feel completely useless.

Sorry - bad day for LaLa. I was trying so hard to stay positive

Aw Lala I'm not surprised you're feeling down. As if having the witch in town wasn't bad enough, being surrounded by pregnant mums and new babies in your life can't help when it hasn't happened for you yet.

You're normally the sunshine girl. I think you're allowed an off-day. Hope you're feeling more positive soon.

Sorry lala hugs and

Oh lala I've been there and felt that! Hugs to you.

Took me 4 years to get upduffed with DD it only happened because I never thought it would. medical made up FACT.

CD3 here. I may have purchased contraband < points at someone else and looks innocent >

lala just checking back u are coming up to the year mark now. I'd go and see gp and get bloods and sa booked in. lie about how long you've been trying and add a couple of months if u can. and if they try to fob you off about can't refer until 2 years tell them "unless there are indicators of infertility, which you can't determine unless you do these tests". you will feel better just for taking action and if all well you will feel more positive, if not you will be on the road to getting things done.

CD4 actually.

I should know this.

The witch has arrived. A day earlier than expected. DH is down and has to host a session for mothers and babies on Friday, which he is not looking forward to, to say the least. Fuck the witch.

and and Lala Sorry the witch arrived and is being especially witchy! I concur with Lil - get yourself to the Drs. You'll feel better for getting into the system... and maybe even invoke the law of sod! Plus you have an ultimate contraband month to look forward to

Oops cross post.... sorry to you too Fringe xx

Sorry to all with witch infestations.

Hope you feel better soon Lala, I'm holding out hope for your first month of ultimate contraband as it worked so well for Popz. It must be so fucking frustrating for you.

pis delight us with your glastonbury tales, who were the best people you saw? (and did you use a shewee)?

BTW, in case it's not obvious, it's Wil - had to do an emergency namechange.

Bugger about witch lala, sending hugs and wine

I'm not invented got any more symptoms although I am obsessed paying attention to my sense of smell

Sense of smell was one of the first things I noticed both times - it's usually so rubbish! Happy symptom-spotting, Purple

for Lala and Fringe

Hi all loving the symptom spotting, particularly the one about the olive! AF not being nice to me felt rough this week but also having a stressful week which might have something to do with it.

Greys anatomy, what's it about? I love a good series to get obsessed with watching and never seen it.

Currently enjoying a bit of Wimbledon gutted I actually had to go to work today and miss a load of exciting matches...

Sorry Fringe

Best act overall - a toss up between Dolly Parton and Metallica. Kasabian were surprisingly good - I wasn't really familiar with them but recognised most of their songs! Best surprise act was Sophie Ellis Bextor - she was a lot of fun and very good.

I used the shewee, I didn't piss on my shorts, #win! The toilets were just too horrendous this year. Ooh heightened sense of smell....? Hope not with what I drank :-/ probably just minging toilets.

I got utterly soaked and spent hours trudging through mud and DP brought the leaky air bed by mistake so it was tiring. I have the biggest cold sore in the history of herpes on my face now to show for it. Just as well I'm past my fertile time as it'd be pretty passionless no kisses shagging

Hi Viroids!

pisghetti Metallica would win that every time for me! And cold sores are vile, I thankfully never got the virus, but the husband has it...

I'm on cycle day 9 now and I have some cramps now. Imminent icing?

couldbeanyone if you haven't watched Gery's Anatomy you must. Right now. Order season one off amazon or eBay or stream it, I did a proper marathon when I was on my mat leave before DD arrived and have been watching it since the beginning. season 10 has just finished so you've got till the fall to get all caught up :p

Couldbeanyone amazon has it for £65 for seasons 1-10... A godsend when you're in hotels on your own!