Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

butter congratulations!

babble the devil card isn't necessarily as bad as it sounds, it's about being an enemy to yourself, binding yourself into a situation or set of behaviours, but it coming up tends to indicate you're at a point where you're ready to change it. The tower is the one you need to watch out for!

I'm in my two week wait and doing some serious symptom spotting. I'm exhausted, my nipples are so big they're taking over the world, I have serious food cravings and I've been feeling sicky in the evenings the past few days, I actually went from fine to vomiting in about 5 mins today >.< and everything I at DD ate too but she's fine, was fine after though... Have sent DH on an emergency shopping trip for sticks :p

Babble I had mine read by a clairvoyant a few was ago. She told me I'd be preg within 4 months and was pretty sure I'd have twin girls next year
She's never been wrong about fate stuff before
I keep reading the multiple birth boards!

Ooh luna this sounds positive! Fx

pis was it amazing?! Massive green eyed monster! Have you had 'the most amazing shower in the world' yet? (first shower after glasto)

Yes think stopping too early but ultrasound lady definitely said id just iced and it was the week we were JSIng like teenagers! Weird.

AIBU is like MN porn.

Blah... BFN but I'll wait and see, if the evil witch hasn't turned up by the weekend will try again. Failing that I'll go cry at the nurse to find out what's wrong with me, I really hate hate hate being sick, and was so glad that I had very little sickness with DD

I still haven't come on, but we changed the sheets, and the man wants to ruffle them up a bit (his words). So it is actually inevitable that she'll probably arrive while he's got a face full

Oh fabulous news, bubble, congrats

AIBU to love AIBU?

babble that's hilarious!

Witch is threatening...I'm polishing ultimate contraband in case she gets here by morning...

I'm also spending too much time on AIBU and have been known to comment!
I'm on CD10 here and symptom spotting which makes no sense!
Actually wondering if I iced early this month, or late from last month
It's a bit strange though

period pains are happening, she's on her way, hope she doesn't fuck me about like this next month. right off to see the medium in a bit, and collect the lotto cactus that dp won from the pta this week

Fx babble. Let us know what she says.

aibu to think the ops on aibu are bu to post on aibu. its like passing someone a gun and asking them to shoot you in the head!

babble fx she stays away. what is a lotto cactus?

la will be interesting to see how you find the contraband, but hoping still that u don't need it.

aibu to not want to get out of bed?!

aibu to say (again) I felt EXACTLY like the witch was coming... and then boom, bfp! Don't lose hope ladies, apparently the symptoms are very similar!!

A cactus won on the lottery Lil ? I'd rather win a million quid though personally

I'd rather win a tenner than a cactus!

Poor child deserved some privacy LaLa!

I was late for work after pegging out two washing machine loads of clothes this morning. Only one pair of socks had to go back in for a second wash - quite impressed with that!

Shower was a-maz-ing. Didn't stay clean for long though as sleepy DP insisted on bed at 9.30 but found himself not so sleepy after all

Good friend made a pregnancy announcement at the weekend. Really pleased for her! Sounds like she's having a pretty rough ride so far with sickness. Can't be easy with a two year old. At least my DS could hold my hair for me if I got ill (just kidding!)

oh what a strange reading, she says that if me and dp dont get married or break up in the next 4 and a half years itll be forever, or until he dies because ill outlive him. And that im going to have a job oppurtunity presented to me in the next couple of years that will make me rich and powerful and take me and the family abroad to live!! no babies though none of it really made sense everything was like it was meant to be for someone else, she mentioned my cats name, clarins the make up and malta, i dont have a passport and have no idea where malta is!!!and im doing uni, how will i squeeze another job in. And she said im going to buy a house, it needs to be an old house so that i can do it up and sell it on. and i also need to get it checked over twice because im likely to get conned. and im accident prone so need to stay away from the gym.
still no af!!!

babble that is odd. I didn't realise fate was built on contingencies!is this someone you've been to before?

OK. I darent post on aibu so you guys can be my sounding board!

AIBU to expect 'd'h to have dinner with me, my best friend who gets married next week, her fiance, one of the bridesmaids (also my friend) and her husband. I am the maid of honour and bf and bm are coming here so we can finish making up the orders of service. I offered to do dinner for everyone as bf and her df are coming straight to ours from their venue which we live near to.
I'm not expecting dh to stay in and help us with it all, just to have dinner then go off and do what he likes. even said he could have my car to go out for the evening. but now he's messaged me saying not to do him any dinner as he's going to go straight out cos we will just be talking about wedding stuff.
I'm fed up of him never doing social things with me, I'm always making excuses for him not being at places. next he'll decide he's not coming to the wedding!

Maybe he's not sure he's actually wanted and thinks he's doing you a favour. On this occasion alone I'd say maybe a little bit unreasonable but if it is actually symptomatic of a longer term trend of taking any opportunity to duck out of socialising then YANBU. But then it isn't just the bride and bridesmaids getting together to talk weddings but their partners will be there too so maybe YANBU on my first point.

dons flameproof suit

Just done the due date calculator insanittc and it came out as DS' birthday so perhaps it's a good thing if we did screw our dates up this month.

Witch has got me. Bummy bum bums.

Ooh JS AIBU! grin

Sorry splodge

So jealous of your glasto weekend Pis.

Lil I think yanbu (feel like SUCH a wanker writing that) because my other half is similar and they should make a fucking effort. It's really selfish.

Bloody men! He prob thinks he will be in the way!
Bugger about witch splodge

I'm still symptom spotting