Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Any symptoms Babble?

Does anyone else play the calendar game? When you look up dates and go like: if I fall pregnant now, I can tell everyone at this party we are having at the end of September; I would be getting quite big at Christmas; and I would be due on April's Fool!
I keep playing that game with myself every single month, complete with fantasies of how I would tell people. I'm not even pregnant, what is wrong with me?

Fatty I used to do that every month! So glad I'm not the only crazy one. One day I even drove the wrong way to work when lost in a daydream and ended up late.

Weirdly though, now I'm pregnant, I haven't done it. Maybe it's a self preservation thing in case it doesn't go to plan.

Room for another one?

Name: CommanderShepard
Age: 31
TTC since: erm, this week
DCs: lovely DD (2.1 born May 2012)

We are not trying trying but having record amounts of sex following the removal of my implant (hello my sex drive!). I think I have ovulated this month and only got it on 2dpo so have probably missed the boat this month - there again with DD my implant came out on the first and I was up the duff by the 27th having JSed with no regard to ovulation so always a possibility...

But I am just enjoying shagging for now. DH is a happy boy

Thank wilhelm, that makes me feel less of a weirdo.
Daydreaming can be such fun. I even get my husband to join in from time to time, asking him what he thinks his friends will say. We are the first in our group of friends that are trying for a baby, so it would be something new for all of us.
I am a bit sad that I didn't conceive last month, as I would be able to tell my mum about it on the birthday of my gran, who we lost a few months ago. It would make a black day a bit less difficult if such happy news was told on that day. If I get pregnant this cycle, it will be to fresh to tell my mum on gran's birthday.

Fatty are you me?

My chem would have been due 4th Sept and I was planning school years and all sorts!

We've got a family BBQ this month so I wanted to announce then. Instead I'll be making a huuuuuge jug of Pimms!

Welcome to the madhouse commander

Hi commander!

Purple I would be so happy if this cycle is the one. I would be happy with any cycle, but if I got pregnant this time around I get to announce it on my birthday. I think I would make a slideshow of just random pictures and put in one scan picture. Then I would just let the tv play the slideshow in the background of the party until someone would notice the scan picture... Or I could put up only pink and blue decorations... Or I could confuse everyone with only having alcohol free beers and such...

We got asked if I was pregnant last week as we were at a party and I didn't drink any alcohol. From now on, I will be the designated driver, perfect excuse. I have smoked for many years and it seems suspicious if I suddenly quit, but I have now found the perfect excuse for that one as well. I am having my wisdom teeth removed next week and you aren't allowed to smoke after that, so I will quit completely next Wednesday. I hardly smoke at all these days, but I do not want people speculating that we are trying, that is just private. Also, we are fed up by people asking us if I'm upduffed yet. It started as soon as we got married. Our anniversary is next month and people sure do expect me to be expecting by now.

Sorry for the essay!

oh fatty we hate the people who ask those things on here. the idiots who ask "questikins" think that may have been bears autocorrect fail

I too play the calendar game now and then. although less so lately as it seems so impossible to get pg although it does help that my app tells me what my edd would be once it confirms ov each month! fuelling the crazy

I know I can get pregnant, as I have had a mc years ago. Still, I worry that since then things have changed in my body, or that my husband is infertile. Or that any pregnancy will be wrong. I think the next person to ask me will get an earful.
'No, I'm not upduffed. There is a chance that any baby I conceive will be seriously ill, as was my sister who died from it as a baby. It is a genetic disorder that is rare and they do not know a lot about it. If I get pregnant, we will have to go to a hospital across the country for constant testing. They can only determine if any baby I carry has the disease after 18 weeks. If the baby has it, it means the chances of survival are really slim and we would probably have to break off the abortion. I would have to give birth to a dead baby. So thank you for asking.'

Wow, I really needed to get that off my chest, I think. Probably because it would have been my sister's birthday soon.

It always irritated me that the second we got married people started asking when we were going to have a baby.... so much so that we got a dog instead to shut them the fuck up!

What's the condition Fatty - if you don't mind me asking x

It is called Noonan Syndrome. Mostly the diagnosis is made after the birth and people can live with it for many years. But due to other medical issues, if I do get pregnant with a baby with Noonan, the results will be very serious and the child will most likely not be able to survive.

Hi commander and welcome.

Hugs to you fatty. I can't imagine how hard that must be. We will all be here for you though.

Lala nigellas praised chicken was going to be receiving the lemon and dill. It won't be the same without it. I'm going to hunt down that citrus bastard tomorrow and I won't come home til I have it overly dramatic FACT.

Hi commander

A bit off today, headachey and my nips are sore as hell. Hoping AF isn't coming early and that it's a Sign. Meanwhile, DS is ill and grouchy and I have seen six baby fish in the fish tank. They're very small and tiny and will probably be eaten, but whoever the mum fish is has clearly done a better job than me! DD has named them all then spends time trying to work out which is which, they're identical in looks right now, so this takes up a lot of her time.

Thanks viroids! It is hard, especially as I cannot talk to my parents about this. I took me years to find out what my sister died of, as they do not talk about it. And us ttc is personal, I don't want them to know we are trying and it is just odd to force the issue if they don't want to talk about it normally. So it is just me, my husband, the doctors and our worries.

"citrus bastard"

Fatty so sorry about your sister and that you have this worry hanging over you. Must be a lot of pressure on you, offload whenever you need to.

And give the nosy buggers a punch in the face. People started asking me about number 2 as soon as I had had number 1. Yeah I can't even sit down thanks to my mutilated vagina, so I'm really thinking about letting MrWil have a poke around so we can make another one. Don't really mind friends asking but people you hardly know start with the "they'll be needing a wee friend to play with" .

Morning viroids.

ERTD due today. Will keep you posted.

Can I join?
Wonkylegs
Age:35
TTC: since April 2013
DCs: DS aged 6

I'm starting to lose hope & this months arrival of AF sent me into floods of tears so I think I could do with some support to gee me on.
Due to a medical condition (RA) TTC was always gonna be hard and it wasn't easy with DS but decided we really wanted to try again so I stopped my meds in Jan 2013, got them out of my system & started TTC in April.
It's not just the disappointment every cycle that's getting me down, it's the 17months of pain, fatigue & stiffness without my meds, oh and the fact that every other bugger I know seems to have got 'accidentally' pregnant in that time.
It's wearing me down now

Welcome commander and wonky,

Sorry fatty and wonky for having such a crappy time of late.
Hope something good comes your way.

I am still determined not to poas until after AF is due. Today is that day, or maybe tomorrow, just to make sure. As every time I have poased before I guarantee that AF turns up hours later.
No symptoms that can't be related to ovulation/period/hay fever this month. Sorry
However I'm not having period pain or a massive hankering for chocolate either, I did earlier in the week though, really needed chocolate and steak and onion crisps [hmmm] and I filled that craving with a warm chocolate brownie ice cream for breakfast.
Also I had a very lovely dream that gave me a positive result on a clear blue .

Fx af stays away for you gaggia and babble got everything crossed for you!

Could be an omen Babble
Welcome Wonky
Hugs Fatty, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.
I know a girl who's now found out she's a MD carrier, turns out her mum was too but wouldn't admit to it....shocking. She could have been tested if she'd known!

Still no AF or sign of AF, starting to get a teeny bit hopeful now, I will still be knicker watching though, and taking tampax out with us this afternoon, just in case.

Hi commander and wonky!

Babble you have enviable levels of willpower!

Hi viroids! Lots to catch up on.

Hi commander and wonky Welcome to the gang! Wonky I've been trying over a year now and totally sympathise, it's very frustrating. You're in right place for support, these guys are lovely x

babble you are queen of restraint! POAS!!!

I'm now about 3 days late cd36 but last month witch came on cd39. if I were symptom spotting a la popz I'd say I've got tingly boobs and slightly weird throbbing uterus but that could just be because I was at a family wedding yesterday with lots of cute children. Going to POAS when we get home, no unicorn for me!

commander I know what u mean, that stupid implant took away my sex drive completely. I got it taken out after 6 months.

fatty I'm so sorry about your sister hope you're ok, big hugs. I've never heard of it and will read up on it. It's very unfair that you're having to worry about that on top of ttc.

I don't do calendar thing but every month when I'm late and get hopeful I play the conversations in my head that I'd have with people to tell them I'm pregnant. I'm so looking forward to finally be able to have them someday

gaggia did you track down the citrus bastard?

Fx big time for you lala

babble POAS!