Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

well girls im heading off for a week if sunshine and shagging. I have been brazillianed today (ooow it hurt) and Mr Duck had best appreciate it.

Fx that when I get back there will be a few more bfps on the board

xxx

Ooh have a fab time Duck!

Just in case Zyla & Red are ready to make the leap, and for all the BFPs to come... the current grads thread is here

Have fun duck!!!

Ooh Ayles - a naked fanjo was my JSing secret weapon They can't bloody resist!! Have a great hol!

Haha Wil - I'm a runner outer too... the amount of times I'd have to spend a bloody fiver on a box without 3 tampax in it from the Spar on way to work...

Aw, Min that's lovely. I wanna feel it now!! It was so wriggly yesterday!

Hope everyone's had a good day x

*with about!!

Thanks for the link ness. And gaggia can't you just gag him or something so nothing escapes that way again? ;)

min that's lovely :)

And rpopz still struggling to believe its real to be honest. Tho I've spoken to hospital who are making me an appointment for their joint team and got to go see gp tomorrow as well :/

Have a fab holiday duck
Hope all ok tomorrow Zyla
Gaggia, keep your mouth shut

Have a fab holiday Duck, enjoy your shagging in the sun.

Totally just snorted in public at advice for gaggia to keep mouth shut! Ha ha ha!

I'm going to try the baldy fanjo! I'd this a new secret upduffed trick? If so it might need to go in next Fred title!

Haha La! I don't know if it helps the upduffedness happen but it certainly keeps the menfolk interested in month long shagathons!

Yay congratulations zyla so glad for you!

Hello bear its great to hear from you :)

zyla! Weeeee!!! So very excited! As you can tell by my very liberal use of exclamation points!!!!! You effing called it. You showed that uterus who was boss. Nice.

bear -- it is so great to hear from you! Hang in there and treat yourself well before your next round of IVF. I'm proof it can work. Took us three rounds to get two decent embryos, and there were days I just wanted to throw my hands up in the air and give up, but here we are. Still scared shitless, of course but here. Acupuncture and meditation were some of the best things I did for myself. I know it helped me.

Baldy fanjo! I'm dying. So funny.

min that is so great, how exciting! Another one of those "now it feels even more real" moments, I am sure :)

Poor gaggia is going to end up wearing a gas mask next time she settles in for a shag.

Thanks again guys :)

Pleased to announce that DP delivered an outstanding phlegm free performance. Missionary is never happening in this household again still.

WRT Brazilian waxing my fanjo looked like a sunburned plucked chicken after mine. DP looked at it and winced. We had no action for 4 days while I healed. Im.sticking with shaving.

Oh Lil - so sorry - what a numpty I am! I've been away for so long that I didn't put two and two together. Glad you have an appointment soon. Hope things start moving much more quickly for you now. Sending you good vibes. x

Hi Cookie - great to hear you're doing well and feeling healthy.

Congratulations Minion! That must be an amazing thing to hear.

Red - I'm so glad to hear all has worked out for you too. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant news!

Waxed my fanjo for wedding, turned out wonky and burnt. Had to appeal to nice nail ladies day before wedding to fix me. They evened me out but burn took a week to go. Kinda put me off waxing!

gaggia you could start a line of anti-phlegm face masks, bit like the SARS virus ones folk wear on the tube

No cape tonight. Had a stupid row instead. He just annoyed me and I should have ignored it. I was feeling pressured but not really in the mood and threw a strop!
He's now snoring whilst I fume!

Give him a wee dig in his sleep just to make you feel better Purple . They can be infuriating can't they?

Lol at the SARS mask Lala, sounds sexy.

purple that's crap - definitely give him a satisfying wee kick.

Mine came in drunk and is snoring next to me. Just seen photos on fbk of him smoking whilst out last night. He's meant to have given up because we are ttc.

Honestly I could cheerfully strangle him sometimes.

Was row serious? Sometimes ttc pressure can be tough

PS cd35 in the big viroid house. No sign of any movement either way. F.friend won't get excited because it doesn't know when I iced due to fever around icing time yes naughty charty contraband

Might need a hooya.

Aargh just lost my reply, stoopid phone. No hooya Lala, hugs and a kick up the arse for MrLa. Does he have his results yet?

Apparently he phoned for them yesterday but 'there was a long queue on the phone'. Didn't try again.

Really not very happy with him just now