Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Big Fat Fucking No lol
I'm normally 27/28 days and I'm 2 days late.

How long before testing again? I bought 2 twin packs of FRER need a 2nd mortgage

I don't have any symptoms or at least any that can't be pinned on something else - headache, nausea, tiredness

Jeez o purple

I think the hormone levels double every 48hrs?

I think they double every 24... wouldn't bet my puppy on it though. Maybe test again in a couple of days with fmu if AFs still a no show? Something about ttc seems to screw. people's cycles up! Seen it on here so many times.

Hint: frers are much cheaper in tesco than in Boots / pharmacies

Thanks I'll leave it a couple of days. I'm currently having a glass of wine as I'm so convinced I'm not preg

Ah sorry Purple. I was 4 or 5 days late before i got BFP. Hope it's the same for you.

red

Ness is right, do not hope for morning sickness!
I'm 36 weeks+ now and I STILL bloody have it.
this time it never left

the only silver lining of the black cloud of never-ending nausea is that I'm still 4 lbs less than my pre-pg weight!

(despite massive belly and what I suspect will be another 9-pounder baby, if born at term/late)

sorry about BFN purple - but it's not over yet. unless ERTD visits, you could try another test in 3 days.
(with my DS2 it took me 3 weeks to get a BFP! just saying)

Ooh you poor thing Zing! It's such a relief now it's gone, though I currently have the deep joy of mastitis to deal with

Hello! Can't keep up my mum is visiting so less MN time. purple witch has been an evil cow to me since I started ttc. I went from regular 28 day cycles to anything from 28 to 39 days. I really hope yours is a bfp! Try waiting a couple of days then frer, they're very expensive and it gives chance for something to happen in between.

Went to see war horse at theatre. Really enjoyed it, you forget it's a puppet after a while. It made me cry coz I've got to give up my horse :( I wouldn't be surprised of stress is playing a part in my ttc woes, it's been a bit of a mad year.

I'm burnt sorry to whoever it was who was saying how dangerous that is - it was an accident

So...testing?

Mastitis, cystitis and morning sickness - all sound awful, sympathy !

Can I come and play in here as well?

welcome aboard fatty. what's ur stats?

Here are my stats:

Age: 26
TTC: since January 2014
Dc: none

Anything I've missed?

Hi Fatty (feel a bit wrong typing that)! Think you might be the baby of the bunch.

That's so sad about your horse Lala.

Hi fatty!

Hi Fatty! (not gonna lie, bit gutted I'm not the baby anymore )

Lala I usually bitch at people about getting sunburnt.... but I burnt my shoulders yesterday walking to the shops! Slather on some moisturiser and it'll be reyt.

Sorry about your horse. I definitely had a few tears in my eyes. It's amazing.

Well, I'm twotting, is that the right word?

Hi fatty is your cape on?

sarcastic ooh twotting! Those 2w feel like an eternity.

Sorry about bfn purple

zing yeah I'm TTC. New (ish) man, new house 2 dogs 13 turkeys and 8 chickens. Never been happier since I LTB last year. So glad to hear you are doing well.

Thanks for the welcome everyone!

gaggia my cape isn't really on, as ERTD is really late and I'm confused about what the hell is going on? Not doing a kitten as tests have been coming back negative.

RPopz sorry for bumping you from the baby position...

Oh, and hello fatty

Ok I am so sexually frustrated right now its unreal! I even went to bed with him last night in the vain hope he'd get his horn on, did he bollox! He was asleep within 3 minutes. I don't think he quite gets that in order for us to make babies we need to be DTD at least once every 2 days, not once every 2 weeks, he also needs to understand that in order for me to not turn into a fucking banshee, he needs to slip it in at least once every 4 days. Nob! Rant over! Cooking Sunday dinner now!

Lol at 'slip it in' babble

And hi fatty

Been up since 6.30, spent time with nieces, done 2 loads of washing, been to (and survived) ikea, been to tesco and now having a cuppa in the garden before putting flat pack stuff together! Even downloaded couch to 5k podcasts to try and feel bit fitter. Not sure what's up with me!

Hope it's sunny and lovely where you are :)

lala so sorry about your horse! know how bad it felt giving mine up even though it was for the best

rpopz pretty sure I'm the youngest at 25 :p

My hypercondria is getting the best of me today, boobs hurt back hurts shin round my tummy is all tight and my senses are in overdrive >.>

Ah sorry Luna - I must have not noticed your age when you put your stats up Oh well... x