Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

Lol pisghetti

PiS that's fantastic! lol lol lol!

purple sorry hun. you're not out yet tho. maybe you iced later than you thought?

tfi Friday!

Well good news fluffy! Congrats, and we'll see you on the grads Fred yes? red you too! PMA folks, PMA.
lil why's husband being an arse? They do fuck me off time to time. It's like everything they do matters and is important but as soon as you need to do something (like sleep, or rest) I'm being unreasonable.
Gah.

Just realised something girls... kitten did the first kitten, fluffy did the second..,
Kittens are fluffy...voila! Name change girls to something feline-esqe. I'm sure that's the secret (not a doctor though so can't be sure if I'm tugging at thread here or completely bs-ing).
Either way, gotta be worth a shot!

Haha Pisghetti.

Sorry about BFN Purple

lol min I should be nc to lilpussy then

tbh I don't really know why we fell out. it had something to do with the football that he wasn't going to watch because he doesn't really like football but then did. and I was being unreasonable, but he knows I'm feeling really low and fed up atm so you think he'd cut me some slack! instead he got his ass in his hands and stormed off to sit in the garden for 45mins. we didn't talk when he came back in and he did his usual pretend nothing happened this morning. and I do my usual I'm not letting you pretend nothings happened. the thing is even when I'm in the right I end up apologising. just for once I'd like him to value out relationship more than his ego and say sorry! he still bought me my cuppa this morning so win!

Sorry about the bfn Purple - its not over til its over though! I'm sure Ms Wil was a good few days late before she got her bfp.

Sorry the hubby is being a douche Lil! Tea sounds like he might know it though....

Hooray for Friday!!

Congrats Fluffy if I didn't say it already! Can't keep track on here anymore...

Sorry about the bfn purple, hope the witch swerves your drive.

I wanted to do a kitten - I'll just have to do a Tabby instead (whatever that turns out to be!)

I was a piss by post-er! It was quite near the beginning of us TTC but I was already in this fred I think so probably shouldn't have been doing it. But it was free!! We had a separate fred for people doing the train to ask questions so that might be useful kato. Things like 'ive only had sex 20 times this week, will they tell me i'm not trying hard enough' and 'my husband found my pisspots in the fridge and thought it was apple juice, what do I do?'.

Congrats fluffy, must have missed that one too!

lil, football is designed for relationship disasters! Arguments are tough when they get to that level of annoyance though - no one wants to back down. In our house it would end up be gradually forgotten until I raise it in a day or two and explain why I was annoyed. Sometimes it starts again then... Hope you can be friends tonight!

Good to know you're a piss by post veteran Dulcet

Dear Diary, until DH's god awful hayfever disappears there is zero chance of any duvet rustling!

I'm going to be a terrible participant, with my room temp piss and jizz free ladyparts!

Sorry, I do remember saying at the start that I'd do all my homework and everything, but I've not even congratulated our fluffy Kitten

pisghetti I indeed laughed out loud at your Intercourse diary! hope I don't accidentally send mine to that creep Brian from Hull for cheap thrills!

lil I think lilpussy is disCUSTing! Do not dare!

Purple don't give up hope yet, whens the witch due?

Purple fingers crossed for you, sorry about second BFN (still in limbo here too)

Love the diaries! Mine would also have something in about hay fever suffering DH!

Who's Brian from Hull? oh is he the yoni guy?

Yes Purple, I got 2 BFNs before BFP so fx.

I am like MrLil, I hate apologising. Obviously I'm never in the wrong anyway....

Stay positive, purple!

Who knew so much wee was whizzing around in the mail?

I am so glad it is Friday. Spotting has stopped (yay) and I'm feeling rather relaxed finally. Quiet weekend ahead. Seeing some girlfriends Sunday who are going to know immediately that I am pregnant because I won't be drinking. They won't believe an antibiotics lie either, haha.

Thanks girls

I thought it was all over. Maybe it isn't...who knows

Had a couple of drinks today on company party. I probably shouldn't have anymore just in case

I really appreciate your support. You're all keeping me going xxx

tabby you have a kittenish name so you must be lucky.

Congrats fluffy

zyla was it the 29th AF is due? If so me too! Eek

I ate raw onion today.....not so delicious now.

red why don't you provide a selection of cocktail jugs, one of which is alcohol free? Perhaps they might manage to miss the fact that one has no alcohol in? Though you say that, My mums friend announced to them that she was pregnant at the end of and evening of drinks in, and no one noticed that her gin and tonic was gin free, maybe you should pronounce a new found love of something that can be made as a mocktail that's complicated enough you have to go into the kitchen to make it,t hen you can put plenty of alcohol in their glasses and none in yours!

gaggia yes the 29th, but she's not coming! She's banned :)

Symptom spotting soon?

Great ideas luna! I could totally get away with it at my house. Last year, my one friend emptied out a few beers before everyone showed and refilled them with lemonade. She would go to refresh everyone's drinks, and just take hers from the other fridge. She made it through an entire BBQ with no questions - I was quite impressed. Not so sure how slick I can be at this girls' house. And this is a wine crowd so it'll be hard to fake it . I may just come clean.

Congratulations, fluffy!
Maybe you could pass some of your kitten luck this way..?

zyla hell yeah to symptom spotting!

red I would just come clean too. Or decant booze free wine into a boozy wine bottle.

Oh god I miss wine.

I saw someone comment on a friend's facebook status earlier saying "does someone need to pee in a stick" There goes a closet mumsnetter I thought!!

I actually don't miss wine yet. Will be struggling by month 5 or 6 though i reckon. I miss sleep though!

Hi all, I have skimmed through the thread, but can't remember much but congrats to the lady after for hours and is it red who has egg yolk after scientific intervention? Congratulations no news here I'm afraid, except I have ballooned so big that my exceedingly large breasts have gone up a size!!! And it really isn't anything to do with pregnancy because dp has a piss aweful job which means he works when I go to bed and is too knackered to do it any other time. Bonus of that is I haven't had a water infection for a fortnight! Car is screwed too, dp thinks he can fix it, I think its about time she went to the scrappy and I see about getting a bank loan for a new one. Well see, probably a good job were not having much luck at the main re baby making with all this extra expense right now. I do have a bit of good news, my last tma was only a mark away from a pass one. I didn't use full stops in my referencing!!!! That's it, for now.

babble yay to no water infections!

Forgot to mention, yesterday DD got her head stuck in some railings. Its amazing how fast the crowd gathered! I was rubbish and just stood there helpless.
Thanks to DP and the lovely people of Amble she was 'posted' through sideways and rescued hurray!.
I cried laughing afterwards with relief and because it was just hilarious.