Don't risk sending piss by post. Get your BFP the JS way! Slip on your disco pants, pet the full moon unicorn, and get jizzy in all the right places (just not the carpet). It's Just Shaggin' Part 25!

[Redshoes56]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 24 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/a2078980-Come-one-come-all-the-Jason-Doner-Van-is-open-for-business-Don-your-disco-pants-brandish-your-rim-brush-and-get-on-it-Its-Just-Shagging-part-24-Can-we-beat-23s-BFP-hat-trick-flange-wankers?" target="_blank">here</a> 

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2100803-Just-Shagging-Grads-Thread-9-Roll-Up-Roll-Up-all-you-graduated-Viroids" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a>

Happy shagging, shaggers!

drags herself up from crumpled heap on floor where she landed having been shoved out of the way lil as it's you I concede!

Now now ladies! No fighting amongst the residents!!

I've decided I'm pg this month. I don't care if AF isn't due for 10 days, I AM! So there, witch can consider herself told and uninvited :D

ooh well in that case congratulations zyla! I think it's about time someone took control of the witch.

Can I say ding dong the witch is dead? Hehe

Perhaps I can make this happen by pure self conviction?

Hahah, congrats Zyla! When's it due?

I am feeling much better today wil - spotting gone, and taking it easy. Yep, Monday is the next scan. It feels a million years away, naturally.

kato what kind of shopping vouchers are you going to get? Sounds nifty! Hope you get a BFP (not just for the vouchers). I am really curious what product they are developing next. I want to invent a test that reads out an exact quantitative beta HCG count using pee or maybe blood, like those home-tests for glucose for diabetics. The Clearblue digi with the weeks estimator is the closest thing to that. I'd have spent a fortune to have that kind of test in the house these last few weeks!

Good luck tomorrow purple! Thinking good thoughts.

Oops missed your post zyla. Great attitude. Shutter the windows and change the locks.

Keep the witch out!

:) glad you're feeling better red keep relaxed!

must be stressful red. hopefully it will get easier to be calm and positive with every scan!

Hellooo... Can you hear me at the back?

It's getting crowded in here, hello to everyone new :)

I have been having a massive stress out (work / ttc / moving / generally being me) and put my cape away for a bit after the rotten witch came but ready to get my special moving house net curtain cape on tonight.

Too much to keep up with - just generally sending twotting wishes to all the twotters and wishing happy shagging to all the cape wearing ladies. And lots of wishes to all the preggo ones too.

I did that in 2012 kato!! Enjoy! Haha. I did it for three months and unfortunately started the month of our anniversary and when we got engaged! We were away and I was pissing in pots and leaving them in the bathroom. It's very very sexy!

Oh and when you post it you get a special sticker and it being medical which I am sure drives the post office mental with curiosity!!

I'm catching up with OBEM on the Sky+ and sobbing
Also watched the last Grays and sobbed too

DH is upstairs watching the footy avoiding the sobfest or having one of his own

I'm definitely getting my cape on, crossing my fingers and all that but trying not to get my hopes up TTCing is very different to how I thought it would be when I first decided I wanted DC!

Dulcet you're a secret pot pisser too! What is this thread coming to?!

Hope the weekend goes quickly for you Red.

Probably crying up there too Purple - I gather the match isn't going well!

Its not as much fun as you expect is it Fringe ? Unless you're super chilled I guess which I'm def not!!

A net curtain cape! Awesome!

I've had a day of crying, it was my wee DS's nursery graduation, complete with paper mortar board and a bittersweet song about growing up.

Howled I did. Aloud.

:) it was quick indeed!

Tbf this thread reminded me to poas, I didn't think it would be positive, as despite my age it hadn't happened yet.

Lots of luck to all!

fluffy i do think you have a record there for fastest kitten! congrats

as you all know I am probably the worst jser when it comes to contraband -because I never managed to stop using it but I may be starting to feel a bit differently about it. I'm still temping so time will tell, but I think iv iced today, or will tomorrow. if my temping confirms it I may ditch the opks. hopefully this god awful ov pain will be gone by the morning . and if I'm right I got my wish of a short cycle for our non ttc cycle crossing everything tightly

oh and currently mid argument with dh. why are men such dicks. they should no by now that when we are being unreasonable they should just agree, give us a hug and make a cuppa!

They didn't do graduation when DS was little. I had parent's evening tonight - he's exactly like I was still am in terms of organisation but all good reviews as he's a clever bear.

I'm realising I was last pregnant so long ago they've changed it since. My pregnancy was measured in weeks not days, a sweep was never suggested despite being two weeks overdue and the local maternity services are midwife led (I'm actually quite happy about that even though I did rather enjoy an epidural....)

I'm feeling a bit grumpy that I'm at peak fertility (according to dates assuming I'm Ms Average) but there's no JSing going on. I might have to have a chat with DP about blocking out some dates in his diary when planning when he'll be working away. He does luckily get a lot of say in when he's away.

Pisghetti I can just imagine you dp's work diary "no appointments today - just shagging"

We'll have to steal Kato's intercourse diary
Dear Diary,
Finished the Karma Sutra already. I hope there's a sequel. Not much to talk about as I haven't been outside for three days. Oh yes that annoying colleague has stopped snaffling my juice from the work fridge. He must have realised he was taking the piss.

Pisghetti that made me laugh so much I snorted my tea up my nose and now DH prob knows I'm reading mumsnet when he sent me to bed after a thoroughly crappy day.

Thank you :)

Morning viroids. BFN here, NFI what's going on. Still no witch.
It was a FRER too