New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

BESH! I have been on my holidays and now I am back. Wedding was lovely and only one person asked me whether we were planning on having children soon (and I didn't cry! medal please) and then I got very drunk and we had to drive to Wales with chronic hangovers.

Holiday was also lovely. I ate literally everything. There is no icecream left in Wales. Very sad for them.

And now I am back and in limbo waiting for droid. Can't remember how long this took last time - I want to say about six weeks. BW is leaving for a two week business trip to Singapore this afternoon so I expect to have the one obvious ovulation I get per year in about a week's time, yes?

Cherry - have a dolphin of drucks (it's practically a fish) and a toe hold. Fingers crossed for you and I hope fab is right and you just feel brilliant while being stabbed, dildocammed, etc.

barking argh, IDIOTS. Still, positive movement towards testing etc?

Everyone else, hello!

That's great to hear Fab; bring on the feel good factor for the next week or so as a plush new home for our embies develops without the busting ovary accompaniments I'm on Progynova tablets, 2mg 3 x day which hopefully will do the trick.

Yay to drunken ice cream eating holibobs vesp glad you had a good time and managed to dodge the baybee question. Hoping ovulation holds out for the return of BW and you can get back in the game.

V glad to hear it's officially ON for you Chez

Barking well done on surviving the appointment without unleashing the rage or the tears, and good on DCW too.

Fist bumps all the other hags. The weekend is here...will there be more gin experimentation this weekend Barking?

bugs you said that to me pre iui and I can't tell you how much I took that advice to heart, to the extent of jumping out of bed in a panic at 2am to get some warmer socks.....

fankle the experiments continue, but right now I'm ensuring that I only change one variable at a time. Sort of. No mixing drinks. So tonight it was red wine, but at home as we've just had 6 friends round for curry (I did a chicken tikka massala (that my phone wanted to autocorrect to tikka mascara, thanks for that but no) and a paneer jalfrezi. Went down very well. You know when you've had a few glasses and someone offers to fill your glass and you say yes, just a little, and they fill the bucket with more than you've had all evening before you get a chance to say no, and you think I'll be pouring most of that down the sink but strangely there's nothing left in your glass next time you look? It's been one of those nights....

Vesper good work on the icecream. (NOT icebreaker, bloody phone). I too am in DROID limbo land. At the end of five weeks of on/off bleeding/spotting post mc I had a heavier bleed which I assumed was AF. Counting from then, I had AF 28 days later. All good I thought, given last time AF went awol for months until I started woo needles. Today is cd 30 and not a sniff as yet. Wouldn't even know but I had to work out the cycle day on weds for the mc clinic.

So, bets on for the hangover in the morning? I've got my mate's two kids to look after all day (almost 5 and 7) so that should make it fun.....

Good effort Barking home made curry sounds yummy! Glad the scientific experiments are continuing... How's the head this morning?

Bugs, they is the drucks to grow my bestest womble lining. I'm trying to eat plenty of protein and fresh veggies too to help it all along. Any other tips?

Laughing at Barking jumping out of bed to put socks on. We must read the same woo 'cause I've heard that theory too. And no ice cream either. Bonkers or not I will be following suit. Just in case!

All those on droid watch, I hope it gets you soon so you can jump another hurdle to getting back on the wagon. But not so soon so as to miss out on the sechsing Vesp. Aye aye!

Thanks for the tips Bugs, I always need a wee when I'm a bit nervous but then can never go properly. At my last dildocam I went about 10 mins before scannage, drank nothing more yet my bladder was so full it nearly obliterated the screen. So much so the nurse made a massive deal of it and made a point of showing me

I retain water like a camel. Fucking brilliant. Not a conversation starter I'll be using elsewhere...

Me three - transfer is totally fine - weird, normal and exciting all at the same time. The first time I was in a tiny room with TWH, doc and nurse all squeezed in around me. 2nd time we were in a huge room and I spent quite some time with legs akimbo, cervix on display and a definite breeze which was VERY weird! I too have a bladder the size of a peanut and had to wait for an hour the second time so ended up doing a wee just before transfer then gulping down two tiny cups of water and that was just fine. In fact when they say a full bladder what they actually mean is a half full bladder. Don't feel the need to over do it!

I've just spent a delightful evening and morning with friends and their gorgeous little man who thought I was the greatest thing ever. Sigh. It made me feel happy and sad at the same time.

Afternoon hags .
Such useful bladder information. This thread is a veritable font of all knowledge.

I am truly an evil hag. DCW spent time with his best mate yesterday (he whose wife was an instadiffer who got pg second month of trying and hadn't cut down on the alcohol until she got her bfp - which was the same time I got my first bfp - and then paraded the bump that would have been the same as mine in my face until she gave birth just before my first due date). Apparently she's not had more than 30 minutes sleep in one go for the last 5 months. Baby feeds every 40 minutes and won't take a bottle. There was a teeny little bit of me (quite a massive teeny bit) that was quite happy at hearing that news .

This is the same woman that said 'oh you don't want one' after her husband asked us how the ttc was going while we were round doing the dutiful visit the newborn thing....

Woohoo, AF finally showed. Only 5 days late . So much for getting regular cycles post mc .

I'll second the high fives to fate, ha ha, great turn of phrase bugs, yay for droidal invasion though. Better late than never!

Oestrogen is definitely suiting me... feel great, bags of energy, sooper organised... it's a whole new world!

Yay for happy hormones Chezza! Make the most of it and keep those tootsies warm as per all the woo advice. When is the DE transfer taking place? Sorry if you've already said this

Barking you culinary curry goddess you! You're not evil only as evil as a normal BESH could be in those circa nice to know the gods of karma do intervene at times. And 5 days late isn't too bad. All in all, bloody good work old girl!

Hope the rest of you are doing ok? I have nothing much to report except I think it is now starting to sink in that I may will have a baybee in approx 15 weeks and only have 11 weeks left at work and need to get my shiz together. Seriously.

Wowzers Fankle, tis no time at all til you'll have your win in your arms! I can't even imagine the expectation, anticipation and denial levels you must be feeling!

Hags the menkul has got me today. I dreamt last night that my lining wasn't enough and the nurses sent me home to eat pints of custard dunked with Bourbon biscuits! Have felt a little bit pressured all day, got by the weird lingering feeling that only a dream can leave...

Anyone know any good woo resources they can share to help bust the voices in my head and instill the calm?

Fankle am back in for scannage next Monday, possible transfer end of next week or beginning of the next. Or summat like that. It depends!

Zita west's woo cd is great Chez and also helps as a sleep aid . Oh and if you can stand the thought of a mug of hot milk then have one of those with vanilla, cinnamon and nutmeg in it is not only tasty but also is good for relaxation and sleeps. It's good for eggs too (irrelevant obvs) but am wondering if it might not be ok for lining plumpage? Worth a try anyway

Wow Fanks, that pregnancy is fairly whizzing away! How exciting for you!

Hags I'm feeling bitter my niece is just about to pop her second sprog and my nephew has just announced his wife is pregnant and they only got married last November...3 years after me. I'm pleased for them as they're family of course but talk about feeling like you've missed the boat! Fucking hell feels like we've entered another cycle of differs too - I've been successfully able to avoid bumps for quite a while but now it seems everywhere I turn another pops up again. Clearly tis the season. November also marks our entry into year five of ttc. Sigh. Anyone want to stand up and fish slap me be for being a miserable cow?

Wow, Fankle, maternity leave approaches! Time seems to go so quickly in the context of stuff happening to other people!

Cherry I found the woo mp3 meditation tracks great from the catching rainbows website. I used to play them while having woo needles (which I didn't find relaxing one tiny little bit) and they helped loads.

My fill the limbo between mc and investigations and next iui project has started. The lounge is now a shit tip. Wallpaper stripped from 2.5 walls. One side of shelves emptied and taken down. One wall of pictures removed. Sofa sold on Gumtree but yet to be collected. Great timing, as we've just realised we have only one free weekend between now and November, so it's a bit every evening! .

Slow posting fab as DCW was trying to show me timber mantelpieces on his iPad, so didn't see yours...
How old is your niece/nephew? My sibling of potentially difficult announcements age does not have kids and it doesn't seem from delicately probing conversations with SiL that they're trying at the moment. DCW's brothers both have kids but they're all babies/toddlers. I was talking to my mate at the weekend and she was telling me about her niece getting married, which just seemed crazy.
Totally understandable that you feel that way. It's your turn, you've been stood for-bloody-ever in that stupid baby queue and they've just marched up, flicked you the v sign and pushed to the front. It's not on. on your behalf.

Morning hags! Post-hols work frenzy has just about died down to a reasonable level. Ish.

chez hooray for the hormones and everything crossed for your lining. I am the least calm person in the world at the moment and cannot therefore suggest anything helpful...

fab yep yep on the bitter. Close friend due to pop any day: SIL in November: loads more in the new year and babies everywhere. I am entering year 4 of ttc in November. And I know several couples who either have just or are just about to get married and I know they'll all be at it too. I hope to god my other SIL (has one child but had INCREDIBLY difficult pregnancy and not inclined to have more) does not change her mind or I shall go mad. I do not want to fish slap you: I want to complain and drink gin.

And my much loved but teeeeny bit dysfunctional sister has just announced that she has just split up with her boyfriend so she, her four year old (erm. five year old? I don't know. BAD AUNTY.) and her six month old (this is definitely right) are moving from one end of the country to the other to move in with my mum. My mum hopes they won't be living together long or there will be stabbing. BESH mind says: at least if she moves to rural Norfolk she's less likely to meet yet another unsuitable man and get accidentally pregnant YET AGAIN (actually BW said this, bless him. Is there a male equivalent of a BESH?) Slap me, I'm evil.

Anyway. Why oh Why oh WHY am I not getting a sodding negative pregnancy test yet? The bastard hormones are still hanging around and I started miscarrying five (FIIIVE) weeks ago. Still taking an internet cheapy every few days to check on it: seems to have stopped getting fainter and is just hanging around, still really clearly. When do I worry something's gone weird?

Hags! Been a long time. Family illness sucks and been spending far too much time in hospitals. I can confirm they are equally chaotic and occasionally brilliant in all departments.

Go go Cherry! What an exciting/nervewracking time. Hope you're holding it together. This sounds like a good time to do all the relaxing, toasty toes, lush healthy eating stuff. I may join you in solidarity can I have some of that oestrogen too please it sounds great?

Barking I cannot believe your dickwad consultant. Glad you managed to put her right though. They never bother to read the notes properly, it seems you've got to be really persistent to get the attention you need and are entitled to. I worry about people less pushy and articulate.

Vesps I'd call the GP or EPU to double check as bugs says. It is most likely nothing, and I was getting +'s three days before my AF turned up. Weird I know.

Fankle yee-hah! home straits

Sorry for all those surrounded by the smug diffed. I thought I would learn a new skill and started knitting classes. But of course everyone is knitting for their babies, friends' babies, baby nieces and nephews and I'm surrounded by pictures of babies wearing very cute woollen items. What was I thinking??? But it is a very nice relaxing thing to be doing.

TT had his jizz test results come through and apparently he's got wonky swimmers. Motility and number ok, but a low number of 'normal forms' (i.e. morphology). Apparently this can be associated with recurrent mc's and low fertility, but advice is just to test him again in 3 months and they'll do something if we mc again. If it's still an issue in 3 months then there is NO FUCKING WAY I am just waiting to mc again before they at least let us see a consultant. Was someone here saying that there are good vitamins that can jazz up the jizz?

Thanks hags - I've had a clear scan (three weeks ago) and stopped bleeding shortly after that but I feel like that should definitely mean no more positive tests by now. GP time it is...

effin friends of mine managed to significantly improve morphology with vits, Wellman I think. They still needed IVF but that was because he also had dodgy motility - they saw quick improvement on the morphology and if they're moving like they should that might do the trick.