New balls please! The BESH are hanging out the cunt bunting for Wombledon and saddling up for the Tour de France!

[FizzyFeet]

Rules of entry: must be ttc #1 for over a year, be suitably evil and hag-like, and submit your BESHtionnaire for our approval. If you are a baby duster or a hun, this ain't the thread for you.

Can I play? This is my application form:

1. Yes

2. Nope - 1 'pre-loved' 46 yr old hudband.

3. None of the above - have I been doing it wrong?

4. A. I prefer a punch in the throat though - shuts them up.

5. Is R2D2: A

6. Number of pets? 0

7. Marco Pierre White

8. Cheryl whatever she calls herself these days - she's so beautiful it sometimes hurts to look at her.

9. B. Enough that I've started buying the Sainsburys own brand ones and I get nectar vouchers for them...

10. Stop it - you're making me feel sick, and I could misconstrue that...

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year - tumbleweds...

Now I'm getting fear of rejection - please don't be bitches...

Sweet - the BESH are da bomb.
Barking how are you after your weekend of hell? Sounds horrendous - well done you for not having bailed out with a 'tummy bug' and retreated home with gin.

Hello Bother you seem reasonable - what's your story? Can't remember when our last recap of members was so for the avoidance of doubt I'm:

Me: 42 married to
Him: TWH (toasty the Wonderhusb), 36
Ttc for coming up to 4 years
2 rounds of ivf in 2013 - one successful followed by a mmc at 8 weeks. Since been diagnosed with immune issues and have a lap booked in nov for suspected endo as have had this damned constant 'period' pain for 10 months. Hoping for an instadiff after that obviously but reality is probably 3rd and final ivf in jan with every drug possible thrown at, in and up me. Surprisingly chipper at the moment but am starting a diet tomorrow so may become a moany bitch imminently...

Ps Marco?? Noooooo! He looks like he's trying to sign his name or conduct every time he talks!

Hi Bother
I have no idea what the questionnaire questions are now except for the gin one so I'm happy with you coming in

I'm Blue, 35 - Mr Blue quite a bit older (but wonderful) . TTC around 2 years (with some breaks) no sniff of anything in that time. Starting medical investigations soon. Am pioneering the way for LAS (lick a stick) rather thanPOAS (not same stick!) and am due delivery of the las machine in the next few days

Thanks for the intros - and being deemed 'reasonable' quite the compliment!
My story - 40 year old non-virgin married to Mr Frogs legs for 2 years (him - divorced, me - history of psychos and tossers), TTC since last June, MC last Oct then a break of 6 months, recently started again and finding it emotionally pretty shit to be honest. I guess 'at least' we know we can conceive (as my sister-in-law-with-3-kids told me that 2 days after MC)...

MPW - when he young, he was HOT!

Ah, thanks Lugs. Good to let some of the shit that wallows around in my head about this stuff out for a change and to see some other people's shit too. Have to say, just hearing what some of what you lot have been through/are going through humbles me counts lucky stars.

The insensitivity of people never ceases to amaze me...my assistant (young, fertile, already has one beautiful baybeee) thought it was a good idea to tell me the day I got back to work after my MC (she'd been told what had happened) that she was pregnant...she'd only had the scan the day before and hadn't even told her in laws! Seriously - could you not keep your happy news in for a few more days? The indignity of sobbing 'I'm really happy for you - really' in a meeting room will never leave me...seriously hoping she doesn't comeback after mat leave.

I know - and you'd ever have thought she'd be like that either. I think she was feeling guilty and wanted to make herself feel better about it all. At the time I was so distraught I didn't really think about how insensitive it was - I was too busy thinking that I still had 6 hours of a working day to get through and could barely see out of my red puffy eyes...Now I want punch her in the face and tell her what I really think about her choice of baby names...

Hi bothers, seeing as it seems good form to introduce oneself here goes.
I'm 35, ttc since Jan 2012. 18 months of dtd produced nowt. 6 rounds of clomid and one iui have resulted in two successes but two mc, the last one of which lasted 5 weeks . Now waiting for mc investigations as we refuse to go through more iui /ivf (which I found v stressful) before having a peek to see if there's a reason it might all go to shit again.
By the time that's all done and we're ready to start iui again we'll have ticked the 3 year ttc mark .

Still traumatised by the hen do from hell. It was just another level of torture, all at once, from all sides. Back home with dog & lovely DCW now and feeling more stable .

Oooh noob alert! Hello bothers - I'm all about the gin at the mo, so welcome in! Is Mr Frogs Legs a frenchy or does he have bandy legs? . I'm with bugs your assistant sounds like an utter utter douche canoe. May her baby be truly ugly.

I'm Rain, 33, married to RAF (real ale farts fanatic) 32, ttc since March 2012. Unexplained infertility, random natural BFP after 18 months ended in MMC in Nov last year. Not a whiff of a BFP since, awaiting referral for nhs IVF at the end of this year. Currently twiddling thumbs and trying to conjure up new things to be tested for.

Wow, ditto to Bugs on the assistant - some people just need their heads punched repeatedly.

Pretty sure I didn't ovulate this month and but am now in TWW (I managed to be rampant all weekend as it was TWH's birthday) and can't decide whether I'm being a moody bitch as it's that half of my cycle and that's what happens or if it's reasonable for me to feel like a moody old caaah. I miss being normal and having practically no symptoms at all !

Hi Bothers!

Erica, 33, married to Mr Erica, also 33. Started TTC in September 2011 (oh, it's our 3 years TTC anniversary, whoopfuckingwhoop), mmc in December 2011 at 12 weeks, cp/mc in November 2012. Tests for fertility came back normal. After 2 failed IUIs they did a laparoscopy and they found and removed endometriosis adhesions from around my ovaries in April 2014, BFP two weeks after that, mc-d again at 7weeks in May 2014.

We've tested for recurrent mcs and everything looks normal. Going to try TTC naturally for 3 months and then reassess.

In the meantime, I may try the rose of jericho and I am not even joking!

Sorry your assistant was being a twat. People can be completely asses sometimes.

Fab I sympathise. I am moody, weepy and crazy two weeks a month, every moth. I hate the tww.

By the way, we are trying Femara/Letrozole for the next three months - any advice/happy stories/crazy symptoms I should look out for?

Thanks everyone for being so welcoming - it's so easy to feel alone in all this, and whilst I don't want to become tooooo obsessed, it's great to hear what everyone else is going through. I feel like a veritable virgin with my mere 1 year TTC and 1 MC - so impressed at everyone's resolve and determination.

Thanks all for assistant hatred - she's now on mat leave with her second ugly baby...am sincerely hoping she doesn't come back - her replacement is so much better anyway.

So, I was 2 days late yesterday and have felt queasy for a while, tender boobs etc, so did a test in the morning, absolutely convinced it would be positive...wasn't. So spent yesterday thinking it was just too early...but then AF arrived. Ended up weeping in front of Eastenders. Thank God for working from home today - couldn't deal with 'other people' especially since my commute from bumpville to bumpberry-on-thames makes me want to cry/scream/punch pregnant ladies.

Rain - Mr FL is half a Frenchy (mostly the half that does good food and wine, with a hint of the arrogant half after too much Cote du twat) - legs non-bandy. Douche Canoe is now my new favourite insult - I'm going to call someone that right now..oh, am working from home - tried it next door's cat who looks unperturbed. Stripy Bastard.

x

Hey Bugs,

I was in aspirin and progesterone for the last pregnancy and it seemed to work at the beginning, we saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks... Unfortunately 3 days later I started bleeding and the scan showed a large blood clot in my uterus. The baby's heart kept on beating for a few days longer but in the end the clot broke the gestational sack.

So, even though the tests came back normal, my gyno suggested a 'cocktail' of meds for next time I get a BPF: progesterone, aspirin, heparin and prednisolone. I would normally be a bit mmmmhhhh about taking so many drugs 'just in case', so to speak but I am desperate...

You also had 3mc, didn'y you? Did they suggest IVF because of them? That would be our next step I think, after one more go at IUI (we have one last try paid by our health insurance).

Bugs Amazing! Your story really gives me hope!

To be honest, our baby could be brought by a stork, for all I care about the natural process (don't find those 'positive OPK night' soulless shags particularly natural to be honest).

At this stage, I just want to do whatever puts me, Mr Erica and our marriage under the least pressure and stress, and a plan to try IVF if I'm not differ come January could be just what we need.

Mr Erica has been taking the Vitabiotics conception support for men or whatever they are caller for a while. Are Menvit particularlt good? However, what you say about the booze is really interesting. He got his sperm checked a few times and it really went from above average on say, a week day, to not so great if he had had big night out the night before.

Wow! Thanks for the tips Bugs !

You know, right now just knowing that other people have gone through the same AND ended up with a baybee is about the only thing that makes me feel better about the whole thing.

I too will be on the major druck cocktail when I finally do my next round of ivf along with intralipids which will be fun. Ivf is a funny old game and everyone has their own unique way of reacting and coping. For me, I found knowing it was scheduled made the world of difference to my relationship with TWH and the actual thing wasn't too horrendous as you are finally actually doing something to make a healthy sticky baybee which was amazing. Obviously the after bollocks wasn't so great and it took a while to get passed that but it's all doable and quite frankly better than the continuous upping and downing of normal ttc-land.

I'm all for the druks .