Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

Oh, that doesn't make the blindest bit of sense! What I meant to say, was I'm glad it's working for him to be positive but not to see the crazy.
Does that make sense?
I'm all a dither x

That is a lot to go through Mich. It would be so hard to be with someone who didn't want children. I can understand why you left. Hopefully will all have a happy ending.

I'm starting to get intrigued by contraband. I am trying to avoid becoming obsessive over this whole affair but I think I have probably already crossed that line already! I might give it until the 6 month mark without and then give it a go.

To answer your earlier question Kat, my other half thinks all the JSing is amazing. He is not too bothered if it produces a baby. I, on the other hand could do without it!

Oh I really hope you all get BFPs soon!

Wil that was my reasoning behind avoiding contraband... I wanted it to be a chilled out and relaxed affair... until I realised I'm not really a chilled out relaxedperson! I'm finding this so stressful and all coconsuming I figure opks can only make it easier famous last words Gotta be worth a shot anyway.

Mich, kudos to you for having the guts to leave when it wasn't right. So pleased you found each other again! X

I found not using the naughty sticks more stressful month after month, not knowing if I indeed could ice, this way at least it shows my body is gearing up to it. Whether it is actually following through is another matter.

Mmm maybe I should cave then as I assume our issue probably is about timing as I'm in the fortunate position of at least knowing that I can get pregnant.

How are you feeling something? let us live vicariously through you

I know what u mean min and that is one thing to be said for temping, concrete evidence and certainty you can stop jsing!

Thanks everyone for being lovely - I was worried I would bore everyone with my back story!

I had a thread on MN about it (different name) when I was deciding what to do. I had a huge amount of support, but also a lot of people telling me that I can't persuade him to have DCs if he doesn't want to.

So I was really careful not to try and force him. There was no ultimatum, I just came to the end of the line and knew that if he never agreed to it, it would eat away at our relationship and kill it in the end anyway. Which was so sad, because we had waited so long to find each other, and were (and are) just so happy together. As soon as I left he had the space to think and came to his senses. So we booked the reversal op, and booked a fabulous diving holiday beforehand thinking it would be our final 'adventurous holiday' before DCs... that was almost a year ago.

He has been brilliant since, he's a pretty determined man so when he decides to do something he sticks to it.

Min I understood exactly what you meant about him not seeing the crazy he'll never know how many pee sticks I've got through...

It's the reason why I've managed to get the FSH and Day 21 tests done early - my GP was lovely about the whole thing and said that we should test me to make sure I was in working order before DP went through with the op. Unfortunately, with my progesterone levels still seeming low, it seems there's something amiss but we'll see.

It's also the reason why I'm a bit highly strung about the whole thing - we've been through a lot to be able to JS to ttc like normal people, you know? I had already convinced myself we'd be infertile or sub-fertile at best, but we're apparently normal!

And it's also why I'll never manage to be chilled and relaxed about the whole thing... we've already spent £3k on ttc, I want my money's worth

Blargh, anyway that's enough about me.

You naughty lot, you're really selling the idea of OPKs to me now!!! tell me more

Hi everyone - Mich thanks for sharing your story about V reversal. Sounds delicate, in more ways than one! I wish you both every success.

To answer your question Kat

Just curious how ehem enthusiastic are the Mr Shaggers in all this?

Depends. I went through a few months where I turned it into a bit of a chore where we HAD to do it.. that didn't work well. But DP is so knackered when he gets to bed that I feel bad waking him up. Sometimes he was grumpy, and sometimes had a 'oh just get it over with' attitude.

Someone suggested changing the routine a bit, jumping on him when he gets in from work, or first thing in the morning rather than waiting for bed time when he's knackered. I think I'll go with that next month.

oh yeah forgot that QN had been asked...before ttc we DTD a few times a year at best! but that was because I had problems with sex being painful for a few years. we got a bit better when that sorted itself out but still only once or twice every few months. then we started ttc and for the first few months dh moaned he was tired and when it still hasn't happened after 4months he started listening. I explained about fertile window etc and he got on board. we started doing smep and have done it pretty much every month for 8months. then after I ov we don't bother until the next cycle really. I ovd early this cycle so we only did 3times for ttc, and the novelty of that obviously had some effect as we DTD just for FUN! for the first time in ages last week! but dh still moans he's tired and we both definitely find it a chore. until we r doing it and then we r glad we did it even if we are nakered!

did I mention the witch has showed up today. looks like I won't be cancelling that clinic appointment next week

Yes Kat have to say DH treats it like a bit of a chore which is a little upsetting. We were once/ twice a week before, but could easily go 2/3 weeks without. Every other day was "too stressful" , just doing it everyday in ovulation week was "too pressurising" ..... So I can never decide what to do from one month to the next! It'd be nice if he could make more effort but.... :-/

Hi ladies! Popping in to say hello - nice shiny new fred! I started IVF round three on Saturday. Not much cookin' in there so far, but it's still early. Not much for-fun shagging happening. DH is stressed, today is his last day at his job (he just resigned) and he'll start a new gig next week. It's been days of "did I do the right thing?" and "I can't wait to just leave" over, and over, and over again. Never have I met a man so indecisive.

Even when I don't post much, know I am popping my head round and cheering for you all. Hope there are lots of BFPs brewing!

Just now catching up - mich thanks so much for sharing. I really do feel like I know you all on a special level.

Sorry about the witch, lil :(

Trying definitely got to be a chore after awhile. We followed what is probably a pretty predictable cycle. For the first few months, DH was all, "Wow! Look at all the sex I'm getting!" Once I started temping and peeing on sticks, the allure of the extra shags started to wear off. It started to feel like work! Ironically, the energy returned right when we went to the specialist. I think he was determined to get a natural BFP and cancel all the appointments in grand style. Alas, that didn't happen. Now we're back to just getting it on when we feel like it. And that's kind of nice.

lil sorry the witch got you, she's due to get me tomorrow.

We dtd once (!!) this cycle so unless he snuck it in while I was asleep there will be no bfp.

I am currently cooking tea...sausage and mash and onion gravy. Gonna take ages to clean up after. The spuds have boiled over and I gotta clean the hob now. oh the joys
...

Hurray Red, good to hear from you. Fx for this round of IVF.

Sorry about the witch Lil, that sucks. I hate her.

thanks girls. roll on tomorrow when the cramps stop. I have a new respect for ppl who have dcs as I've had to look after dn today with these crumpling cramps! at least I can get pissed on the hen weekend I'm going on this weekend

go red!! go frembryos! 3rd times a charm? I've got my first referral appointment next week bricking it but trying to remember how calm you have been through all this and model myself on you

I feel fine actually not much different apart from my boobs hurt and ive got a dry mouth. I have waves of nausea but no sickness ( yet)

Christ - I wrote whole massive message earlier and it didn't send.

Contraband - min mich you should try the smiley faced ones - feels like someone's actually smiling down on your efforts...

Bit addictive, hence I'm on this fred. TBH though I don't think they are actually good for the soul - you end up only JSing on the days of icing, whilst the docs say you should do it much more. Plus they can be wrong...

kat sort of - my dh is so enthusiastic after a three year almost dry spell. Can't bend over in my house without being molested.

ness 15 over 11 days!?! How's that even possible??

Anyone else stick their crazy on the joint account? My dh has no idea how I spend so much money, it's all on the transparent turquoise branding...

lil oh my god me too! It was so painful and traumatic for three years - no idea why! Finally I'm having fun again, cape is well and truly secured. Sorry about the ERTD - booooo...

Red hey how are you? Hope the IVF goes ok - positive waves your way. My mate just got pfp after 10 attempts she already had son from 2nd attempt x

Me and my dh are suffering from 8 month in realisation that actually it's not as easy as all the accidental mums make out. We're going to have to put some actual thought into this and my OCD does not like the lack of control. OPKs make it worse because they fool me into thinking I have control, but I still don't. Got to calm the crazy, hence on here.

DH is pissed - no chance of dtd tonight!!! :)

Hey thanks all for answering my cheeky wee question! It's such a funny change of affairs, sex life after deciding to TTC... Like, we never did it all that often before , but we did enjoy different positions etc... Not any more! :). It's all very businesslike... Can't wait to get a bfp (God willing!) so we can get back to JS for JS sake!

wow lala I thought it was just me! I had a couple of internals that were inconclusive as they couldn't get to see one of my ovary's cos of the pain, then I got referred for counselling. it eventually went away. I think I had a physical issue initially and then a learned response after whatever the issue was went. fortunately for me and dh it started to improve for our honeymoon
I've always worried it will be something that causes issues ttc so I was shocked that dhs sa was bad. never expected he would have any issues!

Yes I was told it was psychological! I used to be in so much pain and bleed, but they said it was psychological. Funnily enough when I came off the pill it stopped :)

Morning Lovelies

How are we all this morning?

Bloody AF hasn't showed her ugly face yet, grrr mind you she's a bit of a cow and will probably turn up at some point today. I am prepared. There is chocolate in the fridge and the hot water bottle is at the ready.

If she's not turned up by tonight OH is getting some action.

Morning Viroids!

Just checking in before I go out for the day. I'm spending the day outside, so I'm happy!

Red our friend from across the pond! I was thinking of you yesterday and wondering how you're getting on! Fingers well and truly crossed for you, and I too am in awe of your amazing calm demeanour and how you've dealt with it all.

Kat not a cheeky question at all, and you've probably worked out that nothing is out of bounds on this fred - once you've discussed your cervical mucus consistency, and 'holding your legs in the air to make sure the swimmers don't leak out'.. well, pretty much anything goes!!

Have a good day ladies, and ayles hope the witch doesn't get you, but if she does, attack her with that chocolate and hot water bottle!

lala I was still on the pill when things improved, but psychological or not I'm glad it stopped! I still find sometimes I can be a bit tense but dh can tell iyswim and he tells me to deliberately tense my muscles with all my might then relax and that does the trick, so I can at least manage it away now. Did you get given that set of different size plastic "implements" with a DVD? I love that anything goes here!

ayles hope the witch stays away but hot water bottle and chocolate are definitely the way. worked grand for me yesterday. I'm so glad I only get the cramps for one day!

dulcet you were in my dream last night. well not exactly you, I dreamt you were my mum spying on me on here! Creepy!