Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

evening shaggers. been in that there London town all weekend on a hen do so need to do some catching up on here! Got OH on shag duty all week...so far no complaints

rpopz we use it. I tend to wait until key shagging time but I use 4g to make it worthwhile lil! its sooo expensive...and so far no luck!

Hmm I didn't know whether to use the applicators to get the recommended amount - sounds like a lot, and its expensive like you say. But (sorry tmi) I am quite dry so....

I've been considering using it too - let us know how you get on with it.

RPopz yes, I suspect 'the sample was lost' actually meant 'The nice lady at reception who told me it was fine to leave it with her as she would take it over to the collection point for me actually forgot and left it on her desk'. Which is pretty grim, when you think about what was in there!!

Lol, this is what makes me laugh about the "lab lost your sample" line.... there's only so many pots of turd that can fall down the side of the fridge/ get down the back of the sofa/ whatever.... where do we allegedly loose all these samples?

The preseed instruction leaflet is deeply unsexy... better bloody work!

I use the applicators.....u want it up top where it needs to be!

I love the idea of you climbing aboard a silver tube in the sky min! Such an amazing thought!

I hate my Facebook feed - every day there's someone else who sneezed and got pregnant. I'm the same as you guys, lil, spent years panicking over a pill missed by even a couple of hours, spending £25 bloody quid on morning after pills if I missed a day, only to find IT'S NOT THAT FRIGGING EASY!

Bastardos.

Pity me, pity me, I had to go out hacking in the rain tonight. I was soaked through to the point where i had to wring my pants out afterwards. Sad. But you can't just say 'oh I don't feel like it' and not exercise him. That's another thing - I'm totally panicking about what to do with my horse if I get pg. I only bought him last year - knee jerk reaction as I was sharing him and the owners wanted to sell. Every month I get psyched up to make the decision about putting him out on loan or selling him, but then the pfn happens and I relax for another month.

dulcet vent away, this is what this is for! Tell us about the kitten - love kittens so much. I have two orange furballs who are the love of my life. They also are a nightmare with the laptop :)

Right I have to ask - what the heck is dildo cam?

And tamoxigang?

I love it on obem where they tell them to push into their bottom 'like you're having a really big poo'. Oh the glamour...

Weegie conception possibly wil the force is strong there! But Edinburgh most likely due to smiley face. Keep positive, this is the thread with all the bfns remember?

mich I totally agree with lil that everything happens for a reason! Go with your heart and keep trying - job will still be there afterwards. Girl at my work got pregnant 2 months into job, came back after a year and two years later no one would even remember it happened. I got promoted in September when we'd just started ttc. I totally panicked about whether to take it and now look at me - seven months on and still not pg.

What's all your thoughts on mat leave? It terrifies me as I know we can't afford for me to take longer than six months and secretly that's fine with me as I think I'd go mad with a full year off! I'm a scientist and I love my job. But does that make you a bad mother, to go back after six months? I don't think we have a choice tbh - perhaps when/if it happens then I'll try to see if I can do it for a year, as I'll probably feel differently. The pay terrifies me, we barely scrape by as it is :(

I don't know what preseed is - will look it up. Good luck with the JSing everyone! Our time is over so I'm in the TWOT period...

Oh bugger I've done it again with the typos - it's coz I copied and pasted. This is the thread with the BFPs!!!!! the BFPs NOT the bfns. God damn my fat fingers.

lala I'm a scientist too (sort of, never quite think of myself as one, but technically I am). I was on a temp contract so I always thought I'd just get to the end and become a SAHM. A friend of mine did just that, and is blissfully happy, and I thought I'd love that.

Landing my new job has forced me to readjust my thoughts though. Who knows what I'd do now... one things for sure, I used to judge other Mums who went back to work asap, but I've grown up a bit and learned that you just never know the reasons why people make the choices that they do.

God, I've gone and done it again - DP went up to bed ages ago, and I've been playing on my laptop reading the news. So he'll be asleep now, no JSing for me tonight! Must. Try. Harder!!

bangs head on wall well I guess that'll teach me to use contraband! used all 10 sticks over the last 10 days and it's still showing flashy smiley face for high fertility, not peak. Had 8 days in a row like that. So I am either broken, or we wasted money. Off to bang head some more. walks off muttering about being ancient and not having the effing time

Well I don't think you're broken Zyla. Stoopid bloomin' contraband.

Tsk Mich, missed opportunity. Maybe it's your subconcious answering your own question?!

The thing is Lala, when you have a baby, people will judge you for everything you do: how well they sleep, what kind of milk they have, how you wean them, if you use a dummy etc. The list is endless. So you basically have to ignore everyone and do what works for you and your family.where I live you definitely get more judgement for being a SAHM than for returning to work. I have a friend who is a single, self-employed mum and so couldn't take any maternity leave. She in't a bad mother, just doing what needs to be done. I loved maternity leave, but many women don't.

zyla ate u using cbfm or just cb opks? when I first started using cbfm I got about 16 highs before I got a peak. if you are getting highs you are probably not broken. you are either going to ov late, so expect AF late, or you have missed the peak because of time of day poas, assuming you aren't using cbfm which has to be fmu. don't panic. its not an exact science! just a tool. the only contraband that will confirm anything is temping! and that's just as stressful and contraband!

ovary scan today. no idea what to expect but feeling surprisingly OK atm!

Ey up gals!
lil loving the zen. Send some my way, and keep on not worrying, stress is so bad for us.
Tamoxigang is a group of ladies who are using tamoxifen, a drug for breast cancer I think. Brave women! They have my full admiration to have the humour I assume they have. I haven't read the thread but if it's half as good as the title, well, there's a group of women who know how to have a laugh.
Well it's supposed to be cd1 for me. Slight grumbles from she who must not be named, assume she's on her way. Hurtling down the highway in her zippy red convertible.
Breadsticks stopped aching so can only assume this.
Does anyone else know to the second when they're about to come on? I get this unbelievable urge to do a poo! And bang. She's there. I would say TMI but I think we're past that stage.

Lala, Mich, I'm a scientist too! Maybe we should rename this fred!

Lala, I have similar feelings about our cocker puppy- much less labour intensive than a horse I'm sure but he's SO attention demanding and a complete mummy's boy. I sometimes worry about how pregnancy/ baby will affect him. Currently he's centre of our world.

Preseed is a fancy non sperm killing lube.

Best of luck today lil!

Morning everyone else. Will get back to you all when more time!

Min best description of Mrs AF ever!

min I get terrible cramps no more than 30mins before she shows. when they start I know its time to find the nearest ladies room! luckily they only last through cd1 and are gone by the time I wake up on CD 2.

we are surrounded by science nerds in a no science ttc thread go figure! guess that speaks volumes about the contraband

currently on route to hospital now. quite intrigued what they will see as I got a high on cbfm this morning

well that was another glorious example of the NHS not knowing its ass from its elbow! but she didn't mention anything scary so I'm assuming it's all OK up there!

lil that was quick! Thankfully looking good, what's the next step now?

What happened then lil?? I thought you were going to say you turned up for your app and they weren't expecting you or something!!

They said my lining is thin ATM but its about right with the follicle sizes. she said it was early in my cycle so nurse would speak to me and book in another app. I go in to nurse who asks "what's the plan for you then?" uhhh ur the nurse you idiot! so its been left that she will speak to the Dr about whether I need another scan and phone me!

oh next step other than maybe redoing this scan is booking hsg, but depends when cd1 is as to whether I will be in country at right time next cycle so may have to be cycle after.

Aaargh Lil that's bloody frustrating when you think you're finding out something useful.

Ummm.
I've a line. Tested this morning after 4 wees in 2 hours.
It's faint but is there.
I'm not telling husband just yet, until it's darker. Is that bad?

I'm freaking out now.
How common is a false positive?

Omg!!!!! No zippy red convertible for you!

I think false positives on hpts are virtually unheard of ;-) (unlike false negs)

Oh jeepers.
Speechless.
And if you knew me in rl, it'd floor you.