Get your ROC's off, Get your ROC's off honey! Knickers down, legs up and capes on in the competition for SOTM! Just Shagging part 22 - the one with all the BFPs!

[DulcetMoans]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 21 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2007110-Drop-all-things-contraband-we-dont-want-youre-OPKs-here-Grab-a-cape-stroke-the-unicorn-and-reserve-your-spot-in-the-pity-Jacuzzi-Its-JUST-SHAGGING-THREAD-21" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> 

Happy shagging shaggers!

We'll my contraband gave the flashy smiley face 4 days in a row so far.... Thought it was supposed to be 2 days then into the peak fertility and icing! Beginning to think there's something wrong with me. My DH says it should be contraband here as well as in the thread cos I'm getting upset lol.

And lol at stealth fertilisation

thanks guys. I know I'm really lucky to have my dh. and to confirm it, he bought me a Radley bag yesterday for my birthday later this month

rpopz cbfm will ask every day for 10 or 20 days depending on when u ov. even if it detects ov on stick 7 u still have to do 10! and if it detects it on stick 11 you still have to do 20, but after first peak it automatically follows with peak, high, low afterwards. I have been contemplating saving first stick of month and reusing on its autopilot days, but it says you can't mix stick batches!

I'm definitely not going to win sotm. we DTD for first time this cycle last night, on cd11! but no ewcm yet so looks like I'm in for a long cycle again

hope everyone has nice plans for today. my mum is cooking me roast for tea

Don't worry zyla, it's not a strict two days. Hen I used the flashing smiley sticks I had high for nearly two weeks! You'd have thought I was super fertile! There was a thread in it here then with lists of ladies having longer than two days. Doesn't mean you are broken at all, I just found them useless for that reason though as it isn't helping me narrow down the time to DTD if its always high! (I would like to add my use of these sticks was before this Fred!)

lala, if you get preggers from your different beds will you tell the lucky homeowners that helped you create a baby?! Lol.

wil - you can have a mini hooya since you asked for it but its a hopeful hooya too!

I am down in the dumps. I cried yesterday, I don't cry. I feel so bloody useless and moving into cycle 20 just sounds so bloody high!

Thanks Dulcet that really helps! which DH doesn't by saying 'see, told you you were being silly!' slaps him

Don't cry, have

That contraband just sounds like it would annoy me.

Sorry you're feeling down Dulcet. I am a grumpy, impatient arse after 4 or 5 cycles (I've lost count already) so I can't even imagine how frustrating it is for those who are long-term ttc. Have and and I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs for dulcet its shit and its shit and its shit! but you are going down the right roads. what's the next date in the diary?

Hugs Dulce, I cried my eyes out last Monday when AF came (7th one since ttc) so can only imagine how frustrated you are at 20. Sometimes its just what you need xxx

Oh thanks Lil, good thing I bought a 20 pack! Might order some more off the internet! My cycle is quite long anyway so was expecting to use more than average.

I suspect it will start to irritate me if I'm not upduffed straight away with it, then it'll be back on ebay haha.

Been to watch my sister run a half marathon this morning... feeling all inspired now! Not sure how that fits in with my baby plans though....

dulcet so sorry you feel sad - a good cry sometimes does help (I cried when I got ERTD last time, dh just stared at me fearfully).

We are back home so no more stealth fertilisation -I was very miffed last year that my friend who got pg at my wedding with boy girl twins didn't name them in our honour ;)

If we've succeeded then baby will be Yorkshire, Glasgow or Edinburgh conceived.

Monday. Frigging Monday.
Really, is there any need for it to be so grey at the beginning of the week? There should be a weather law in place. Every Monday to be bright and sunny to start the week off the way it should.
Good job I'm climbing aboard the big silver tube and ascending past all the grey, dull, raining feelings and into a blue sunny sky! That's one good thing about my job, it's never dull above the clouds (except at night, but then you get a cracking view)!

So ERTD should be moving in tomorrow, I'm not bothering to test early as there's no indication we've actually figured out how to make one again, this month.
Another month flown by.
Glum!

It really is flicking pitiful isn't it? Watching the active boards and someone who was on the pill who wasn't even expecting to start trying for years comes on and says 'could I be?'
POAS woman and stop gloating! Ahhhhh.
Much better.
Sorry.

Thanks viriods, I really do appreciate being able to come in here and vent. Probably sound like a grumpy so-and-so but that's only because, in RL, I am that annoying happy person you all know in some area of your life. Being positive most of the time makes it hard to be down to real people.

It is horrible out there min, trying t drag myself outside to the gym but it's not making it easy! Just want to stay in bed!

Next date is 15th May lil. Thats the dildo cam and consultant appointent on the same day. I expect Clomid but who knows.

Get running rpopz! It's great to have a goal to work towards, but maybe not a half marathon uness you have run before? It helps take your mind off TTC if you have something else to focus on at least... just don't over exert yourself.

Maybe a Scottish babay then lala!

On a lighter note, I have a kitten on my lap who is really interested in our discussions. Struggling to keep her off the laptop here!

haha min* so true. I had a of "scare" a few yes back when I was still on the pill but I didn't flood to the internet to ask a bunch of strangers if I was pg, I went to boots an bought a hpt! ah my days of being naïve when I still believed having sex once would get u up duffed! its like that advert, what would you tell ur younger self!

sorry dulcet x post. 15th may contain will be here b4 u know it. if I ov at the right time we could be getting the dildo cams at similar times!

I haven't looked outside yet but expect its miserable, but I'm counting down to my sunny holiday in 3 weeks :)

I know I probably shouldn't, but I want to be part of dildo cam gang!
Also there's a Fred on here for tamoxigang. When I was a newbie and much less informed I always thought it was a great gang with a great name... Now I know they're a bunch of very strong women, I almost want to be a tamoxigang member purely cause of the name.
Whoever thought that one up deserves a medal for credit to pun and hope!

Hmm I think I'll pass on the dildo cam! What's the tamoxigang reference? Is it medication?

Rpopz get running. I ran a half marathon about two weeks before conceiving the first time. In fact maybe I should get running.

I'm choosing to believe it's a weegie conception Lala! I bet it will come out wearing a tam o'shanter with a ginger wig attached (hopefully not drinking buckfast).

This TWOT is officially driving me bonkers. I am swaying between thinking 'I am DEFINITELY pregnant' and 'I don't feel pregnant AT ALL.' Pretty much changing my mind every six hours or so. Apparently I have to 'not think about it so much' .

Oh Min I know what you mean. I was once two whole weeks late (shagging completely inappropriate man who was only after one thing) Took a test, negative, job done! It is all a bit gloaty. Sometimes think mn is not necessarily good for us! Had a minor meltdown over another fred just before AF.... Should just stay in here!!

Not been to gym in 10 years but could ease myself in gently with the running I suppose... need those endorphins!

Grey and rainy here too. Did the weekend even happen??

X post Wil!

Oh yes "just don't think about it!" That's a Mr Rpopz special....

Hellooo Viroids!

I've been away for the weekend on a work thing, so just catching up with you all.

First and foremost - Red I'm still sending positive vibes your way, and really, really wish you all the best

Dulcet sorry you've had a glum time, it's just bloody shit isn't it. I've reached the dreaded ttc for 12 months mark, and I'm trying not to let it weigh on my mind. But it does anyway.

Re the discussion on the 'Am I Pregnant?!?!' threads.. aaargh, yes those annoy me too. I never look at 'Conception' any more, I have hidden the whole board and I just come straight to this thread through Threads I'm On. Can't cope with the silliness or the rubbing it in.

Well for those of you saying it's a glum day, I'll raise your 'having to go outside in the rain' and give you 'having to go out in the rain to take your poo sample to the hospital'. Oh joy. I had to take one months ago and they "Lost" it... so apparently that's the reason why my appointment for the consultant has taken so long to come through! Aargh. So I had to take another vial of delight in to them today and hope to god they don't bloody lose that as well!

All this is so that I can get a camera up the bum to investigate whether my monthly bleeding is Endo related or a Gastro problem. Just want to get it over with!!!!

I'm also having a bit of a crisis of confidence and don't know what to do.

We've been ttc for 12 months following DPs VR. I'm 35, and feel that there's no time to waste, especially since things have taken so long already.

However, I'm about to start a new job next month. It's an internal position, so getting pg wouldn't necessarily impact on my mat leave entitlement etc, and I know that officially no one can penalise me for getting pg... but it's my dream job, with a high level of responsibility.. it wouldn't look good if I get upduffed a few months after starting new job would it..?

DP thinks we should not stop trying, but not try 'too hard'. Then if it happens, it happens. But I'm scared of putting it off too long. Time is not on my side!

What would you do viroids?

mich I believe everything happens for a reason and if UV been trying a year already I'd say screw the job, if I get pg job will be 2nd fiddle anyway. and u can just be one of those "oh we weren't even trying" liars people! and if u dont get pg soon at least ul have the job u want. I'd see go now UV been trying a year, esp as ur 35. you will at least get the ball of the very slow sloppy NHS gently rolling!

see *gp not see go

It's so tricky Mich, and another shit part about being a woman. Men just don't have to make that choice. I have never found a career that is right for me and so I would prioritise children. But wouldn't necessarily if I were in your shoes IYSWIM.
Maybe it's just that you need to rethink your expectations about maternity leave etc? E.g. You don't have to be off for a certain amount of time. If you want to return to work quickly, then that's fine. It doesn't have to be a huge year-long disruption in your career.
I do think our age is fairly important. Like it or not, we do have this ticking clock and if you need to go down other routes for conception, it's probably better to have a little time on your side. Although you may be one of those people who ironically get pregnant when they stop trying so hard!
Also, even if you get upduffed now, you would still have 9 months in the job before taking leave.

Btw, 'vial of delight' is my new favourite phrase.

Good advice there ladies. I had always envisaged taking a full year's mat leave, or even being a SAHM if the time ever came. But now I've landed this great job, both of those options are out of the window. Not a bad position to be in, but having to readjust how I see my future a little.

I'm going to stop trying so hard and see if the law of sod comes into play.

Hmm yes Vial of Delight, did bring to mind that classic 1980s dessert 'Angel Delight'...which my Dad used to call "Angel De-Shite" but best not go down that mental image.

Mich, as someone who works in a medical laboratory, let me tell you "the lab lost your sample" is classic medic code for "I lost your sample/ forgot to post it/ I put it in the wrong container/ didn't write your details on it/ whatever and it can't be processed" ;-) Hope this vial of delight gets there safely in any case! Also, if I were you I'd carry on ttc. Putting it off would make you more stressed surely? Then you wouldn't be giving the job the attention it deserves anyway. Plus like you say, they'll have you for 9 months whatever and they can't really say much about it! My friend got a new teaching job a couple of years ago and was pregnant before she even started.... and then pregnant again before she went back from the first maternity leave! If she can get away with that then.... ;-)

JSing officially starts tonight but I have a killer headache again :-( Been so bone achingly shattered today, if I hadn't just had AF I'd prob be convinced I'm upduffed! Yesterday I was all: I will defeat depression and fertility and the world with my epic running prowess!! Today I am all: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Quick question: is anyone using preseed?? Do you use it every time, or only at key times of the month?