TTC 10 Months Plus, Supporting Eachother & Staying Positive :)

[mama31]

This thread is for anyone trying to conceive for a lengthy period of time who may be considering/attending further tests/scans or is about to begin fertility treatment. I hope this thread can provide information and support, alleviate fears and can help one another to remain positive during this difficult journey that can only be understood by those experiencing it.

Please join and share your story, knowledge, support, laughter and tears.

Hi mama!

Grotty cold and grey here! Having a sofa day, just flicking through Netflix now. Successfully avoided family get together with the in-laws side and their 100's of offspring!

I'm also expecting my 26day af on Wednesday! How bizzare. No spotting for me yet either which is making me far happier than last month when it was from cd21 after my scan. was that really a month ago!?

I've bought a first response but only coz I was getting symptoms I've never had pre-af before. I'm now feeling silly about it as I'm just getting my hopes up. Am not going to use it until way after Wednesday if nothing happens. Tested on cd32 a few months back and then af came that afternoon. This month I kinda know I ovd 12/13 tho coz of opks so def expecting 26day as always 14 day lp. Have af type cramps now, I know from others that it doesn't always mean you're out.

Thanks mama Good news about the lack of spotting. I had it for 4 days last cycle, before af turning up on cd24.

I do indeed have plans for seduction. Lucky dh!!

FX for you both this month. Stay away blasted AF!

Are you going to test Victoria or holding off til af late??

Lucky Mr Notta indeed ;)

I don't think there is any point testing early, although very tempting. I couldn't possibly be lucky enough to conceive. Sorry on a downer again!

I think its best not to test early. There seem to be so many people who get an early bfp only for AF to show up. I would rather not know and have af arrive.

Hi all!

Great to see a bit more positiveness on here tonight! Lovely to meet you all! Will be eagerly watching and waiting for news...I was inspired yesterday by you all to start those opk testers - both neg so far but I actually feel a little bit more in control of it all rather than being controlled and so I think that's progress...! Hate the beastly af symptoms which can be misread for a bfp...my dh was getting annoyed at me reading too much in to every single one - I've now stopped taking preg tests and just keep dtd regularly and keeping fingers crossed!

I feel that some of you are a step ahead of me with semi-regular cycles and I so wish I knew where I stood with all that! Still, hopefully the blood tests will throw some light on all of that...

A belated happy Easter to you all, good to see some positivity and welcome to the newbies.

On cd17 at the mo,managed to dtd cd 11,12 and 14 with ovulation on day 14 so now in tww.As always,trying to distract myself now till AF due May 1st.

We have a joint appointment with GP end of this week to discuss initial fertility tests. I have the moral dilemma of whether I'm honest and say we have be trying now for a year or do I say longer to get a referral??? Everyone I know who has taken a while to conceive or has had IVF has said to say lie but we both don't think we can do it. Has anyone else altered the truth slightly???

Unfortunately I couldn't because the docs know what date I had my implant out! Told other little white lies tho ;-)

Feel free to tell porkies if it will get you help sooner but make sure stopping any contraception isn't in your notes or you could get found out. Good luck x

Thanks Victoria - One good thing is that I had to stop the pill three years ago due to medical complications so we were using condoms until we were ready to start ttc. I may just say we have been trying more scientifically the last year when we realised the relaxed approach wasn't working but overall it's been 18-24 months.

So I'm sorry for raining over all the positives but basically I've had too much wine and need a rant/cry.

have been trying(ish) since Dec 12 to conceive a much wanted 1st baby. My hubby has MH issues and has been on antidepressants since Feb 12. OK we might be mad to try for a baby in the middle of this but when your at the bottom you kinda just hope and pray that being a dad might be what he needs. Anyway so 16 months later still no BFP, have a regular cycle (apart from when my body decides to play tricks on me but thats only been twice) hubbys sex drive is still almost non existent due to the medication and we manage twice a cycle usually around ovuation. Clearly as I am ranting here no BFPs have occured in this time (just several friends annoucing accidental pregnancies - including some that have terminated because 'the time isn't right' grrr) I am now torn between bursting into tears and punching someone in the face everytime I find out about a new pregnancy and quite frankly I just don't know what to do. If we go to our GP he will just say we need to DTD more often and won't help but no matter how I scream shout or talk to DH that just isn't going to happen.

What the hell am I supposed to do????????? I am literally crying as I type, all I want is to know it will happen someday and I'll wait til then. I just need a bit of hope and support I guess.

Sorry to put a downer on anyone easter x

MB1985 I feel for you :( i think it's time for a visit to the GP with a few white lies prepared so that you can get some tests done and just check all is well with you and your DH. Have u tried the ovulation tests yourself yet too? If not I reckon that'd be a good start as you have a regular cycle...? I've had weeks where dtd is a bit of a chore and others where it's great, but I do wonder whether you can just speak to your DH and ask him to make a fab special effort for just one month and see whether that changes things...I think the more u have it the more u want it! I may say this with some naïvety though as I don't really have any experience with MH and I hope I haven't upset you more :(

Not really tried ovulation tests tbh because I guess I'm in denial about how long it's been...time flies hey!!!! We have had soo many conversations normally after af has appeared and I'm in tears having stupidly got my hopes up. What generally happens is we dtd a few days later and then nothing happens until I end up basically having a go nearly 2 weeks later - not exactly putting us in the mood! Would love to know if the more you have it the more you want it but dh definately doesn't seem to feel like that on these tablets :-(

Hi mb1985 I hope you are feeling better this morning, not too hungover x

We have also been ttc since Dec 2012. My DH doesn't have a high libido either which is a problem. We only have well timed sex 2, 3 or 4 times a cycle. Perhaps that's why we are not preg I don't know. I have been keeping track of ovulation for only the last half of our journey when I realised it wasn't happening 'by accident'. I get ov pains so I kinda knew it was happening and when. It doesn't happen the same time each month for me. My cycles have been 26-32 days with ov 12-18. I only used opks this cycle for the first time and I think its going to be our way forward with sex every other day from cd8ish onwards til neg opk.

I went to the GP after 14 cycles and said we dtd regularly. As far as I'm concerned even 2x around ovulation should be enough for a healthy couple. She didn't ask figures. I have had all the blood tests, which show I ovulate and I had a pelvic scan which showed my bits were ok. You are also entitled to these tests after a year hun. My hubby is going for his SA next week which he is dreading, but if you flutter your lashes and say it's for me darling they tend to soften a bit and agree ;-)

Please let us know what you decide and good luck x

Hi Victoria401 - no headache which is good just clearing up from having all the family round!!! I have just ordered the clearblue opk from Amazon so will give that a go and then if no joy will go to docs. I have read that the medication dh is on can affect the quality of his sperm so I guess that would be the first thing to look at, although don't know what the solution is as he needs the meds x

Morning ladies, just catching up, hope you're all having a lovely Easter break.

Welcome Laura, yes bfp/af sysptoms being very similar is cruel! I've all but stopped symptom spotting now - ive felt nauseous in my tww the last couple of months but i know now that its just an af symptom that I would have shrugged off prior to ttc and barely noticed it. Hope your blood tests give you some answers.

mb sorry you're having such a hard time. I also have v little experience of mh,so don't really feel in a position to advise. All I'd say is that if I was in your position I think I'd get using the opks and find out when I was ovulating, then try to target dtd in the run up to that if your dhs sex drive is low. You might not be doing it much but if you can make sure that when you are, you're doing it around the right time you've a much better chance. I totally know how you feel regarding pg announcements. Been a flurry here recently too. Also, I know that one of my old friends (male) is expecting with his finance next month, but he hasn't told us yet, we only found our from another friend who wasn't supposed to tell anyone! He doesn't know were ttc so its nothing to do with that, he's just very eccentric and probably thinks it'd be fun to just turn up with a baby! He lives in another part of the country so not seen him in 6 months or so, but I've known for ages and have avoided calling him as can't face the conversation, so just limited it to texts. Gonna have to do it soon tho and hope he tells me cos i really don't want him just turning up at our house with his new baby and then have to act shocked and excited. Sorry bit of a self involved diversion there. Yes as Laura said, might also be worth a trip to the docs just to get some tests underway, if you know everything's physically OK and you can concentrate dtd around ovulation then it'll probably help you feel more positive about it all.

How are you getting on mama and Victoria? Managing to avoid testing so far? Still no spotting mama? I'm excited for you!

notta glad you got your smiley face! Hope you've had a good weekend . And Jesse glad you're feeling more positive and have had a great weekend with your dh.

nonconformist hope your appointment goes well. I would lead with the 24 months, but say you've been more focussed the last 12 months. When I said to my gp that wed been trying for 18 months with a 4 month the break she didn't seem to think that was that long at all (although am getting blood tests etc) so I'd lead with the 24 months if you're looking to get referred. Good luck!

Not much to report here, cd6 so af is just about done. Dh got to do his sample in the morning and take it to the lab. Got to get it there in under an hour so I can see that being incredibly stressful/comical! Told him he had to do it then we've gotta be out the door immediately!

ive been reading about my hubby's meds too as he's been on a lot of asthma drugs all his life. Some antibiotics and prednisone (steroid) (he's already been on twice this year for persistent chest infections) can affect testis and sperm but depending on which website you look at! I think the best bet is to go to your GP and ask them. Maybe there is an alternative he can take which does the same but is fertility friendly. You never know until you ask :-)

I think it would benefit you and your relationship to seek help now. Just tell doc you dtd every few days over your fertile week. That's all they say on the nhs website. Once you know you're ok you can relax more, and if there is a problem then you go about dealing with it.

I hate the not knowing. I'm happier having tests :-)

My goodness imaginary what an essay! You must have been writing that as I was replying to mb!

Yes I've resisted testing! Lol. All my symptoms have vanished today. Except for the fact that I've been sleeping like a log for the past week. VERY unusual for me! I'm usually very restless and get up to pee at least once. Been falling asleep stright away too instead of taking ages! Hope its a sign!

2 days before af due and no spotting for me yet either! Woohoo! Usually get 2/3 days at least still time for that to start though

Yep quite an essay, just catching up on the goings on from the weekend! Glad no spotting for you either, hope that and the extreme sleeping is a good sign not that I'm symptom spotting on your behalf

Hi ladies! And welcome MB. Sounds like you are having a difficult time. I would definitely reccomend opks especially if your DH is only up for dtd twice, make sure it is timed well with the opks. An SA is also the next step to see if there are any sperm issues but I agree that you should tell doc the length of time you have been trying but say you dtd regularly. It's best to be referred for more tests/support if you need it.

Well the dreaded spotting started last night!!! Gutted!!!!! :( but I am glad that it has started much closer to af rather than 5-7 days of it. I do think the Agnus Castus is starting to work and hope each cycle gets better with it.

I'm definately out and will be on to cycle 12.

I know it will happen when it's meant to happen. And very glad I've planned a night out with my best friend today! have a feeling ill be drinking a little more than planned, but think I deserve a good night out!

Good luck ladies sending positive vibes that af stays away for you all x

hi everyone. so much has gone on in here!

hi to Laura and mb

mb I have suffered with depression, including whilst ttc. I think you need to go to the drs and tell them u are ttc and ask if there are more appropriate meds for your dh. there is rarely just one med in this day and age but we are always prescribed the cheapest one! if the Dr didnt know of your ttc plans they would not have been able to take that into account when prescribing your dhs meds. I would also ask how long it could take before you may see an improvement from a change in meds as it can take time for mh drugs to leave the body and the new ones to take effect. if you know the meds are known to cause issues with male fertility then there may be little point getting sa done ATM, so don't be surprised if they want you to try a bit longer first. but as others have said, white lies to get the ball rolling is not unheard of. there us no reason for them not to give you a day21 progesterone/amh/ruebella test to make sure things are OK with you.
definitely use opks, and you could consider temperature charting your bbt. I find this good because I know for sure when I've ovulated so we stop DTD (my dh also has a very low drive) until next cycle. by temping you can also find d out what your leutal phase length is (time between ov and AF) to make sure this is healthy (min 10days is considered OK to manage to conceive). opks and temping will also make you feel a bit more in control.
also does your dh understand how a woman's cycle works and why timing is so crucial. perhaps if you explain that to him he may be more willing to make the effort for the week leading up to ov knowing he doesn't have to for the 2ww. my dh certainly got more on board once he understood the inner workings. now we DTD eod until my app says I've ovd, but as I know I don't ov until cd18-25 we don't start until about cd12. I hope you've found helpful advice in here. its good to be able to offload so make sure you don't keep things bottled up.....alcohol is also not good in large doses!! lol

glad for those of you who have finally got your on you opks. in the nicest possible way I find it quite funny reading you were worried when you hadn't got one on cd 8 as I spend 2weeks poas to get a positive opk. you are do lucky to have short cycles! remember 28 day cycles with ov the same day every month is an ideology, in RL ov can be delayed by many things, especially stress so we have to remember to relax!

I've been feeling bleugh so having a chilled day today. would like to think it was a symptom as I'm 5dpo today but I know its because I ate too much over the weekend!

happy bank holiday Monday!

Oh thanks everyone, it is just nice to know that other people are in the same boat. Tbh I don't drink much anymore but with it being Easter and all the family were round I thought why not!!! Our old gp (who was amazing) asked me about 6 months ago what was happening and I asked about his meds then. Because its the type of medication (ssri) that has this effect rather than the brand there's not much that can be done. Havn't mentioned it to new Dr as he just doesn't seem as nice!!! I looked into bbt charting before but because I do shift work its not really any good as needs to be done same time every day and as my wake up time ranges from 4.45am-2.30 pm with just about everything in between I just don't think it would work. I have tried talking to dh and he does understand but a side effect of both his condition and medication is confusion and forgetfulness so I have to remind him constantly and because that applies to EVERYTHING tbh I get sick of the sound of my own voice and tend to avoid it wherever possible. God my life sounds depressing when you write it down!!!

Wow some lengthy posts! May have to reply in stages...

mb i would recommend opks. I am cycle12 and on my second cycle of using them. We don't dtd loads but at least now i can make the effort to seduce dh at the right time. And its actually bern rather earlier than average too. (days 8 & 11 so far) Sorry you are feeling down. My own dh has some anxiety issues and is currently unemployed so really not the best time to ttc but i am 36 and just can"t put it off any longer.

Re DH medical issues - not actually considered this before but he does suffer with high blood pressure and is on two sorts of meds for it. Will look into that i think!

Sorry about the spotting mama thats rubbish.

Thanks Notta! I've cheered up- outside sunbathing, drinking beer :) and heading to a beer garden soon to have food and drinks- couldn't have done that if preggo......every cloud......

Of course I'm kidding and would prefer to have my bfp, but gotta roll with the punches sometimes and enjoy what we got!

That's very positive of you mama, hope you have a great afternoon!

I'm off to try and make falafel for the first time ever and then watch a film with DH off Netflix and we are NOT watching another superhero film! I will not cave in!