Fab Forty-Plus! Where are the BFPs...

[JBrd]

To keep this thread going, proving support to all of those of a 'riper vintage' wishing for a baby...

I have received so much help, advice and support here, so although I technically have graduated, I thought I'd get the next thread going to keep the momentum.

Opps, it wasn't 20% carbs, it was :
"Studies show that if a woman has a high protein (>25%) diet in the lead up to IVF, she will have 50% of her embryos make it to blastocyst stage. If you also reduce your carbs to less than 40%, you statistically have an 80% success rate. "

Morning all....happy weekend.
Green DH and I skyped last night and he is very keen to do DE as soon as he gets home...assuming IUI is not successful, so as soon as I get called for an appointment I will be discussing this with the fertility team. For some reason it appears to be fairly cheap over here in NI. Unless of course our consultant gave us wrong information, which would be a huge blow. I was wondering (you may know) does the cost just include one attempt or do any embryos get frozen and reused?? I am so pleased for you and continue to keep all fingers and toes crossed for a very healthy and uneventful "double" pregnancy.

gum glad to hear you are all a little better. My daughter and the two little ones were all struck down with something on Tuesday. Sadly too far away to help....mind you I will avoid vomit at any cost!!!

So its my first weekend with DH away in the sandy place. I am 8dpo but having no symptoms...nothing atall. None of the usual sore breasts...hmm, I hope I did actually ovulate?. As we were on holiday I didnt actually do temps this month...infact I am stilll trying very hard to ease off peeing on too many sticks or obsessing in general about ttc ( it works on the surface at least lol). Time will tell I guess.

I have a friend from work visiting this morning and the plan was to take the hounds out for a long walk after she left. It is however, persisting down so I'm thinking an afternoon on the sofa watching the commonwealth games. I am also trying to teach myself to crochet (sniggers)...the idea being to keep myself occupied in the long evenings ahead and maybe make toys for the little ones for xmas. Hmmm my efforts so far are a five inch piece of wiggly knotted wool which the dog stole and chewed...oooops.

Hello all! Sorry for this long, long silence; I lost my password (don't use MN any more). I've been thinking about you all, and popping back occasionally to read what you're up to.

green TWINS!!! I'm soooo happy for you, and I'll keep everything crossed for a smooth ride for you from here on in. Was this another natural conception, or had you already started your fertility treatment?

jass I've got everything crossed for you as well. Congratulations!

calibee great that things are starting to move for you - hope you won't have to wait long for treatment to start. Are you feeling more settled now in N Ireland? Are you staying there while your DH is away? Sorry if you've said all this but I only read the last couple of pages.

diege I don't know why I'm surprised that Laurie is 9 months already, given that Edie was 5 months on the 23rd. It goes so quickly! Hope you're all well.

Hello to all my other old friends here - gum, jbrd and no doubt others who are still posting too - as well as to the new people.

Edie is thriving - she's sunny and good-natured, and a huge bouncing baby. I'm going back to work part-time in October, and she'll go to nursery when I'm at work. I've really, really enjoyed this time with her.

Good to hear from you morien and so glad little Edie is doing so well...how time flys eh??
I am staying in NI whilst DH is away, purely as I now have my job here. Life has been better over here since we moved to the city in June...however it does now mean quite a commute to work for me (an hours travel either way). I don't think I'm a great army wife though I have to say....I like far more control of my own life lol. But it's not forever...just a means to an end for now. :)

Green, good to hear your scan went well! I am especially happy that you do have all these heavy symptoms because of teins, as my symproms are mild really. I can sleep on my belly, my breasts are tingly rather than truly sore and I have some stretchy feelings. And I have massive fear for scan tomorrow. Even if I think it would be better to know if it is bad news so that I do not settle too well into this pregnancy. But if it is bad news I would be devastated and who looks forward to being devastated? Some reassuring lower abdominal pain and massive appetite is here, so I try to enjoy it at least for tonight....

Morien, good to hear you and baby are doing well. Already back to work in October - time goes so quickly......

Gum, good tou feel better now. It is indeed truly in the hands of god how these things go at our age. I know I am a toad tounger, but then you have not had all these mc I have had, so I feel about equal!

Calibee, I hope IUI will do the trick and you can save the money for sth else than DE:-))

jass I feel your pain. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good vybes...good luck

Great to hear from you morien and lovely that you have enjoyed your maternity leave. I love the name Edie btw!
Jass I will be thinking of you tomorrow - scan anxiety is a truly tormenting thing. There's no other way past it than through it, and I am praying that it is good news for you. The lack of spotting and pretty usual pregnancy symptoms bodes well xx
Gum I too was very shocked by the surrogacy storyline, so very sad for the children involved. I really can't understand where the parents are coming from . What has been their response to the media storm?
calibee good to 'see' you - sounds like the job is a welcome break from army life and your planned afternoon with the commonwealth games sounded great. I'm just watching Kylie in the closing ceremony - can't believe she's late 40s
Love to everyone I haven't mentioned xx

Hello everyone. So nice to hear from you Morien. I also love the name Edie. How gorgeous. It sounds like you've had a lovely time on mat leave.

Jass I will be thinking of you. I know what that scan anxiety is like. Ghastly. However, like Diege says, the only way is through it. I look forward to hearing your news.

Diege, there's been no comment at all from the parents of that little boy. It is shameful how they've behaved.I just hope the birth mum gets the help she needs. I'll bet she's not the first third world surrogate mum whose had this happen.

Well, I am not feeling so old having read the thread: "My 58 year old mum is pregnant" I believe it was ivf, and I imagine it was donor eggs too, but wow! 58! I am not making any value judgements about it because I am almost 48. And many, many people would think it is very wrong of me to want a baby at this age. One good thing about that thread was the people popping on with 'my neighbour/friend/granny/aunt got pregnant naturally at 56' type stories. I always find them very uplifting.

Back to work for me today. Still feeling a bit tired, and have no idea what I'll be doing in my classes today: flying by the seat of my pants I should think! I am feeling much better than DD. She's still not eating much. I think it is more due to anxiety than the illness. She worries that eating will make her feel sick. She has anxiety at the best of times, much worse when she's not well. I have to keep an eye on her as her hip bones are jutting out.

Have a lovely day everyone. Enjoy those lovely babies, pregnancies or the anticipation of ttc again this month This month I will be doing opks so as to bypass any confusion. Operation opk and SWI will start in a couple of days I think... that's for good luck...

jass .

Holding my breath and sending you all the luck for today's appointment.

Hi ladies I wonder of there is room for a newbie? Turned 40 earlier in the year and have a 1 year old dd. still bf and tentatively realising I need to get a move on if I'm to have another one. Dh is of the view that we need to see what happens so no space for stressful ttc yeah right
Anyway cd 9 for me, cycles have been more or less regular despite bf but not sure I'm actually ovulating.
Will have a read to see where everyone else is.

Welcome lemon, join the club. You'll find lots of support and wisdom on here. If you don't mind me asking - what is your DH waiting for?

jass Will be thinking of you today - scan anxiety is truly utterly awful, and nothing can make it better! Good luck!

morien Great to hear from you, thanks for dropping in! Sounds as if you are enjoying yourself

I'm not at work today - I have a bladder infection, currently waiting to get a call back from my GP (they have this stupid new system where they call you to assess your problem, before you are 'allowed' to come in). I am in agony and definitely need antibiotics, no doubt, so I wish they'd hurry up!
To complicate things, I'm in the 2ww...sigh.

Lemon, welcome, may your stay be brief!

My doctors visit today was not all roses, but not bad enough to take all hope away. The embryo is alive, it is much smaller than it should be at 7+3, but nice round egg with yolk was visible. no heartbeat, but the machine was a routine scan one, so it would not detect a 6w heartbeat anyway. More (positively) indicative is that the area around the egg is clearly the live embryo's "double halo". I also had a tiny drop of brown smear this morning, which of course meant I webt in 100% negative. Doctor ordered me to be positive and take some baby aspirin and progesteron, stay calma nd hopeful and return on 15th. the brown smear is probably because my period would be due this week and the areas in uterus where muscular tissue and lining get mixed up (my adenomyosis) do not know there is a small pregnancy in uterus and bleed away. there was no hematoma anywhere close to the embryo, it was,not looking like it may be peeling away from the lining.

So, I was given almost 2 more weeks to be hopeful. What the doctor cannot analyse and I can is the fluctuating hcg in the beginning I saw from my tests. It was at the levels below 200 hundred (digi said pg1-2w), and that means that the development we saw today has definitely happened after the fluctuation happened. I found out 14 DPO and beta was doing tricks 18-19DPO, got going around 21DPO - whixh means that after tthat, the embryo has developed with exactly the right tempo. This adds to my hope, whixh of course means if the embryo will die by next scan my devastation would be evn worse. OK, I am grateful for what I saw and definitely it is better news than I have had for any of my failed pg last years (betas never surpassed 1000 and eggs were always empty). Also, previously the US has only picked up implanted eggs which showed the size of the moment when betas started dropping. This one clearly has shrugged off initial implantation difficulties and it remains to be seen whether it came through intact or it will dye because of these implantation difficulties. I have a positive feeling it will live. I have no explanation apart from the fact that it clearly has developed on track after rough start.
This was the longest ever ultrasound descrition on MS,afraid:-) I am now graduated from reading misdiagnosed msicarriage site section "low or declining beta levels, baby alive" to the section "baby measuring 1-2 weeks behind, but all OK". Weirdly, I am grateful for the added time to be pregnant and I plan to enjoy the time given to me. Smearing has stopped now as well. Head goes into sand again:-)

Wow jass what a roller coaster and what fabulous news! Of course it would have been even more wonderful if you got the full heartbeat, right size news but I think it sounds pretty damn hopeful as it stands I wonder what people did before they had access to all this information? Blissful in their lack of knowledge probably.

Now what are you going to do to distract yourself from worrying over the next two weeks??

I know we were offering nervous congratulations a few weeks ago Jass but I am saying it a little louder now! Your dr sounds very positive & I hope the next 2 weeks do not drag too much for you.
JBrd ouch! Did you get your antibiotics? They were reporting on the system of drs calling you & you only getting an appointment if they say so on the news today. Sounds a bit odd but I guess there are a lot of time wasters & missed appointments. It doesn't help when you are genuinely I'll though.
Welcome Lemon, it's very supportive here & lots of success stories that give us all hope.
I am back from holiday today. It was such a lovely time but so hectic I feel like I need another holiday to recover. Dd has gone to granny's for a few days & I am going to decorate her room. I have totally relaxed this month having missed dtd around ov as dh was away. I drank too much & ate too much on holiday so am now going to cut the carbs for a few weeks & get back to my acupuncturist. Obvs with dd away I am also catching up with friends in the evenings so will have to accept a little more wine might be consumed.... These lovely long school holidays are not always good for our health!!
Time to start on the holiday washing now. Hope the rain stays away for the next few days.

Hm. I am spending these 2 weeks enjoying that I am still pg. I did not look forward to this ultrasound today and i do not look forward to the next neither. i prefer hope, so time is not dragging at all. I have never felt like this in my failed pregnancies, but this time I even prefer the limbo to the loss of hope. Weird. We have heat wave still going on and doctor has ordered to stay in the shade and drink a lot of water, only walk in the evenings, but walks are encouraged to stimulate blood flow in the uterus:-)

Scan sounds more positive than negative jass, pretty good news I'd say! Especially good that there was development post hcg 'dip' - think of it as one more hurdle that you have got through - relax for now...you can't sustain any level of anxiety for 2 weeks! xx

Sometimes we know too much jass ....too many facts and figures, nature has her own way. I agree with diege things definately sound more positive than negative. Keeping fingers crossed.

I am really beginning to doubt I even ovulated this month, even with the usual three days of smiley's on digi sticks. There is a distinct lack of sore boobs. Oh well, Fiday will see if AF arrives.

Jass - the others are right, at this stage, you have everything still going for you! It can swing either way... I will keep crossing everything for you xx

Jass, I agree with everyone else, it does sound positive. And it is really good that you are feeling positive yourself. So, yes, enjoy being pregnant.

Jbrd, I hope you were able to get the antibiotics. Ouch! UTI's are awful.

Calibee, could a lack of sore boobs be a sign of pregnancy? As it is unusual?

Hello, Lemon, welcome to our cosy little thread.

As for me, weirdness going on with my body. Yesterday I had EWCM, but I'm only on day CD9 today. WTF?? Of course my first reaction was, 'when I get home I must do an opk, and must have swi just in case.' Then I got home, forgot all about it, went to bed early (without DH) so may have completely missed the fertile window. And then I jumped out of bed at 5 am when DS had wet the bed, and I didn't take my temperature. Bloody hell.

I guess, I will try to remember to do an opk tonight, just in case, but I have a staff meeting, so may forget all about it...I think I am more of the , if it happens, it happens, attitude at the moment...

Jass, congratulations! That sounds really exciting. Looking forward to hearing more...

Gum, my this pregnancy is a result of an extra early ovulation. and a few others as well. it seems like if the ovary is able to kick the egg out without overcooking it, it has better chance to fertilise for some reason. So, maybe it is worth a try:-)

Gum I wish...but alas a BFN today on 11dpo.

Good news though. I just arrived home to a letter telling me I am now at the top of the list for IUI and inviting me to make an appointment. They have given me a certain time on Thursday to ring to accept or decline the appointment and its smack bang in the middle of my working day....hmm I will have to find a quiet cupboard somewhere lol. Mind you, how the heck I'm going to explain all the appoinments to work I just don't know. Can anybody think of anything good??
x

Calibee, I would be honest about it. I guess tangling yourself in the weird web of white lies will add the stress and you badly need to be as stress free as possible. How hopeless are your coworkers in this respect - can you not risk something neutral that you are having some fertility treatments and while you do not hope so very much out of them, you feel like you really should try before it is too late? I think most work mates would understand and apreciate honesty in these cases?

I have been very open with my close staff about the mcs, because we operate really closely with each other and otherwise they would have been wondering why i am not myself and maybe thought their performance is to blame (i am most senior in the team). So i did not feel silence or lies would have worked..... We since have the (untold) policy for everyone that boyfriend/marriage/pg trouble is best communicated, so everybody can support everyone. i think it has worked well over the years because everyone knows they do not have to pretend everything is Ok when really they are suffering. We are not even all female, and my male colleague has had teouble with mcs in his family, we know it all.

Jass having only worked there for 4 months I don't really feel able to talk to my line manager ( a male who shivers at any sort of womens talk). I have confided in a female colleague, however it's my line manager who needs to be told about any appointments....so for now, at least, I will be telling him the minimum I can get away with.

Excellent news on getting to the top of the list! You could just tell your boss that your are having few gnae issues that will require some treatment and you will of course try and minimise the impact said appointments might have on work. You could then ask him if he wants to be kept up to date with what appointments you will need. If he is as squeamish as you think and would rather stick pins in his eyes than have you discuss your "lady" issues with him - he might leave you too it.

Not sure what work you are doing and whether you need to be covered or whether you can manage your own time? I just came out with it with my boss - she was and still is very supportive for which I am very grateful. Managing my clients has been a different issue though.

grinch how are you doing?

morien hello and lovely to hear from you - sounds like you have had a fabulous time - it seems to have gone so fast! This pregnancy is result of donor egg IVF after we concluded that my eggs were just not of sufficient quality...another scan on Friday

gum get going girl

Welcome lemon you are a spring chicken compare to me - here's wishing you all the very best of luck in a speedy conception and uneventful, stress free pregnancy!