Ski Sunday music ready, the BESH are Bobsleighing their way through the icy slopes of hope and despair to win their medals

[cherrycoconut]

If you’re over 30, ttc over 12 months and wearing nipple tassels under your snowsuit then this just might be the thread for you - if you can prove yourself bitter and evil enough. We’ll be the judge of that. Don your snowsuit , cowbell ready - fill in the BESHtionnaire and prepare to meet our icy glare. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

One more sleep, bugs, one more sleep.

hest I have the opposite ishoo. I blame using the back entrance for the cyclogest.

I have terrible stretchy pains today that feel simiilar to period cramps . I'm trying to see this as a good sign that something is growing, rather than menkul about it, but it's not easy. See, I told you the menkulling never stops. I can't wait for Monday for my scan.

Yes I put this morning's up the foof (TMI?) to see if that made a difference.

Bugs...well you're kind of prepared either way I guess. No consolation at all.

I'm trying to pack. This mainly involves me regarding the house helplessly and thinking Bad Thoughts about MrH who is having "down time"

A line is a line though, even if faint. Damn HCG levels are so weeny this early on and tests vary with sensitivity even within same brand due to manufacturing variation, dilution or otherwise of your wee, a myriad of factors. And HCG levels vary wildly between pregnancies in the same person! Dizziness is a good sign - have never felt dizzy like that apart from when diffed. You've been there, you know the signs. Good luck for tomorrow - less than 24 hours. Will be checking in.

I have to admit that I never paid much attention tot he strength of the line. I thought if a line was there it was positive.

I menkulled badly with line strengths this time, but have since come to the conclusion that Tesco own brand tests are shit (took forever for lines to form, faint as anything, no apparent darkening as days went on) and CB digis are the work of the devil (showing 1 -2 weeks when I was further along) so I'm in agreement with LadyGG, a line is a line. As for the menkulling, the other day I woke up and as I lay in bed managed to completely convince myself they would find something catastrophic at the 20 week scan tomorrow. I literally cried myself back to sleep, fucking idiot that I am.

hest I would lend you a poo if such a thing was possible. I am pooping about 8 times a day, no exaggeration. Its getting tedious. It also got rather uncomfortable yesterday at the hairdressers.

So who is going to do new fred duties? Not long left on this one.

Hello

Sorry to just barge in here but I found BESH today and basically haven't done any work all day. I have been a stalker of so many of these sites and threads for...well years. They do my head in tbh..all that baby dust shite. This is like therapy with humour. I like it. This is my first post EVER...I don't really know what I'm doing or how in/appropriate it is to join in here when it seems to be winding down, but I do have some serious long term TTC vitriol to unleash. So where do I submit my BESHtionnaire??

Bit about me...in a nutshell: TTC since Sept 2011, BFP Nov 2011 (total flook) mc Jan 2012. NOTHING since. Well except a lot of tests that have basically revealed nothing (DH is also fine), a lot of tears, anger and emotional turmoil. It's amazing (and enraging) how many people get pg and sprog off in the space of 2 years. I find I do want to shout CUNT a lot so can I do it here without judgement please?

Also just had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy 2 weeks ago and now waiting to OV (athough noticed brown spotting today - TMI). Return to see consultant in March to decide on next steps. IUI or straight to IVF. Scary biscuits. This isn't easy is it? Particularly when you don't know anyone in RL that's going through this.

So that's me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for providing much needed humour and evilness...and for ensuring that today has been not very productive

Welcome Fank - you sound right up our street so pliz submit your BESHtionnaire right here. We're not winding up, just hurtling towards the end of this thread in record time. Someone will start a new one imminently

Ps I'm not entirely sure that brown gunk ever counts as tmi - it's pretty much par for the course on this fred!

Ah you've not been introduced to the joys of a The Paint Chart yet have you Fab. Think of those sheets you get for paint colours in B&Q and the like, except for, er, discharge

Fankle pliz to submit your questionnaire right here so we can judge check out your credentials. P.S. Nice name you've got there!

Thanks Fab. How exciting. I hope I make it through to boot camp!

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes') Why yes, yes I do. Any type - am not a gin snob. Much. As long as it comes with ice and a slice (lime) and slimline tonic.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar? Neither. Unless a 6 month age difference makes me a gold digger.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   c and a bit of d - last month I did find myself randomly hoping for an immaculate conception (not allowed to try before laparoscopy), but such madness is par for the course.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   I think I should say A here. Definitely not B.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   ? Star wars robot creature?

6. Number of pets? None but really really want a dog. I will have a dog. As soon as I get a BFP and am on mat leave

7. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame? Graham Norton. Yes I know he is gay.

8. Lesbian crush? That's easy. Kylie. It's always been Kylie.

9. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
   a) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
   b) Over 100 quid
   c) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
   HUNDREDS. Maybe more. The ebay thing is a good idea though...I could start selling things to feed my habit..

10. Which of these sentences is appalling:
    a) Off to see the consultant today!!! So excited!!!!!
    b) Gud luck hun sprinkling babydust for ya lol xxx
    c) both of the above
    Definitely C

11. How barren are you?
    a) childless and TTC for at least one year
    b) one child and TTC #2 for at least two years
    c) I've been trying for 2 cycles and the wait is driving me mad!
    A

Yay! Thanks all. I think I have to learn some of your lingo...ashamed to say don't even know what BESH stands for. Bear with me. Loving the abuse and fish pellets/hag bashing.
I'm leaving work now and have a lovely evening ahead visiting friends and their 1 year old. I will not be bitter and beaten. I will not.

I'll put you out of your misery seeing as you seem ok :o
Barren
Evil
Selfish
Hags

I would do it honest I would, but my freds are unlucky :(

Ooo, a late addition.

Yay for more hags!

Was worried I'd be left on my lonesome with the impending grads!

I'm deff not ready to start a thread Maybe next time!

Loud shouts of Cunt are always appreciated!

I will update properly when on the laptop but quick updates;

Still cheering on Bob and Kate!

Bugs Embies are settling in nicely, I'm convinced even if you're not!

Got to my last night shift and was informed that the woman my colleague has been seeing for three months is upduffed and he's not happy about it. Told my team mate that I didn't want to hear that thanks and that if he didn't want anymore kids he should have kept his knob to himself! Or maybe taken some responsibility for himself, dickhead!

I will start one if it's too much for anyone else, I'll need some time to think what to put! Also know nothing about horses! Could do a fairground carousel feme!

Also to drag out the stats?!

On it!