About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

[SwedeAway]

So, here it is, Part 4! May it bring lots of BFP's for those of us still waiting and may it bring happy healthy pregnancies for those who are fabulously pregnant.

Excellent news, Kt. :-) Picture on Facebook please!

Better, I'm really pleased. Really think it'll make the 3 months way more bearable now. I'm 5 minutes from the hospital too, should I need to go!

I can't imagine a long labour. I feel for any of you that took a while for baby to appear. DD's birth was traumatic, but at least it was done and dusted in 6.5 hours from waters breaking to being born!

Hi everyone, I have been trying to put ttc to the back of my mind recently which means not going on MN unfortunately! I have just about caught up with you all I think, lots going on!
kt glad your scan went well. Bet you are relieved. 11th sept sounds like a lovely birthday
swede how horrible for you, are you sure monday is not too soon to go back to work? don't want to sound preachy, but please make sure you are more than ok before going back, you need to give yourself lots of tlc and R & R!!! Glad you and baby are ok though.
mrs can't believe how little time you have left at work! That seems like it has flown. Also great news about the midwife, hopefully this one stays as lovely as she seems. I really wouldn't worry about your DS, and you too toothpaste they all do things at their own pace. I remember worrying that DD still wasn't walking at 15 months and everyone tells you stories how they/their children crawled at 5 months, walked at 9 months.... my niece didn't start talking til quite late on, but when she did start she would come out with sentences, we always said she was waiting to talk until she actually had something she wanted to say! mrs have you moved DS into his new bed yet? Can't remember if you ever updated....
Hungry glad you got the work option you wanted, that is amazing! Will make going to work a bit more interesting, and hopefully go quicker for you too. And brilliant not having to commute so far everyday. Hope you get a good bunch to work with.
morerum also disgusted that they said that to you. I was signed off from work on sick leave 8 weeks before my mat leave began with SPD, so I would have though with only 3 that would be all the more reason to just let you finish and keep off your feet a bit. I think when you are pg you need to really look after yourself, put yourself first and sod everything else, work and all. Are you just going to try and ride it out?
Engels enjoy your weekend away, sounds like a perfect way to get back to dtd!! Although maybe not perfect with DC in the room!!
Loves when's POAS time for you?
As for me, I'm not doing so great I can't believe some of you are over half way already and I'm still waiting for my bfp. Back when we started ttc# 2 I was really scared that it just wouldn't happen, and I can't believe that I was right and my fears are actually happening.
DH has had enough of me being depressed all the time and I think he is ready to just move on and get on with life, which doesn't make it easy trying to encourage him to eat super healthy, give up alcohol and caffeine and take vitamins.

Everyone expects us to have another one soon, people just don't even consider that you can't get pregnant if you already have a child. Someone at work I haven't seen for a while came over to me and was peering at my belly as I was sat down and said 'Oh I keep expecting to see you with a bump, it's about time isn't it!'
And I know she means well but my DSis keeps making jokes about being a surrogate for me. It all just feels totally inexplicable and cruel. Sorry for the mememe debbie downer post, but I don't have anywhere else to turn!

Awh gingerbread im so sorry things aren't working out for you. Men cam be so insensitive at times and personally i think it must be harder ttc the 2nd time as your already a mummy and have maternal feelings well as broody feelings I really hope you get some answers soon.
dd has been up sick and is now snoozing in my bed so im delegated to the couch.
such fun

Oh ginger I know how you are feeling. The fear that its never going to happen and then each month its a confirmation of your fears so they just grow. I find the up and down nature of it so hard too. Each month I get my hopes up convince myself im pregnant then get so disappointed again. I get scared of what I will be like if it doesn't happen and I don't want to go back to the place I was in before DS was conceived.

FWIW DS took exactly one year to conceive and if I remember rightly your not at one year yet (and I know statements like that are not helpful because we want our BFP NOW!!)

I honestly don't know what goes through some peoples heads sometimes because when you start talking to people sooo many have been through a mc or trouble conceiving, I'm constantly taken back that people think my plans for children are a conversational topic ?! SOD THE LOT OF THEM and the horses they rode in on

As for other peoples pregnancies my sister in law has just announced her second pregnancy (her first was announced just after my 2nd mc she didn't know) I was so worried about being bitter but the thing I realised that first time around was that it was her journey and I didn't want her journey I wanted my own.

Hope you feel better soon swede must have been so scary

Oh Ginger, I am sorry you feel so down. Pressure from people around you does not make it easier. Since I gave birth to dd, over 3 years ago, dh's grandmother has basically asked every time we speak when the next one is coming. My answer has always been evasive (we are working on it type of thing). This is then always followed by 'don't wait too long, you are not getting any younger and time is running out for you dear'. Soooooo encouraging.....not! She called last week and said exactly that and I felt like shouting, well actually it's not too late, I am not too old and I am pg you old bat! But I used my standard response. I think people just don't realize how insensitive they are. As someone said, people just expect that you will easily conceive just because you've had a child previously. Alas,we all know that that is not always the case. I know it will happen for you, it's just taking a little bit longer, that's all. Sorry if I sound all preachy.

Went food shopping before, what a thoroughly awful experience when all I want to do is vomit. Left the store with a pack of crisp bread, and that was it. Think DH will have to take over this chore for now or we will all end up starving.

Ginger, I'm sorry you're feeling down. hugs

I know I'd be feeling the same as you. And I imagine my DH like yours as well. Men take TTC very differently, I think. I imagine he's scared that it's his sperm and is feeling guilty, but won't say this to you.

Are you still using the OPKs this cycle? What CD are you on now?

I know it will happen for you, but I totally understand your frustration.

Swede, do you have online food shopping there? If not, yes, your DH is now in charge. :-) I couldn't walk past the fresh bread in Sainsbury's for a while as it made me want to vom! Thankfully that's passed now! Is it your scan next week?

Cake, fx for you too.

Junk, have you POAS yet?!

Morerum, how come you got relegated to the sofa? I'd have sent DH!

Mrs, enjoy your last day at work. :-)

Hi everyone, happy Friday!
Ginger - i had wondered where you'd gone and had been thinking about you. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this and it's perfectly understandable. Ok so let's think, i started this thread at the beginning of september. How long have you been TTC? They do say it can take up to a year and that's if you're both healthy and fertile, which i'm sure you are. Can i ask, are you both DTD as much as you can to boost your chances? If not, maybe try DTD a bit more but maybe don't tell Dh that's why, try make it fun and relaxed. If you're really worried you could go see your gp just for a chat as i'm sure the'd reassure you that it's still not been that long or long enough to worry. As for men, they never understand the same as us. I'm sure my DH would be the same. I'm just trying to help and i really hope it happens for you soon. People are insensitive with things they say, look at my awful sister who said things like, 'oh i didn't think you'd have any more'. We haven't spoken or seen each other since november, definitely been 3 months and doubt that will change now after my DS's bday party in December. But not to dwell on that...Don't disapear completely anyway Ginger as we all want to help in any way we can, if we can x
Hi Kt - Congratulations on your scan! How are you feeling? Nice birthday for your second one. I was a september baby.
Hi Better - And thank you! Just 4 hours to go and i will be joining you in the SAHM Club and can't wait! Whereabouts are you by the way Better? Are ypou near enough to meet up? Did you just have gas and air then first time? I had a really long labour which ended in episiotomy and forceps and tearing. Not nice. I am planning a home birth this time and when i see the midwofe again in 3 weeks she said we'll discuss this more and if i want to go ahead, she will arrange for the homebirthing team to come and see me at home. There is some discrepancy over the tear i had, whether it was 2nd degree or 3rd. I have it in my head that it was third but when we discussed it this week at my midwife appointment she said it sounded like 2nd degree. It's important to know for sure as i don't think home birth is recommended with a 3rd degree tear. I don't know why though as surely just because you tear first time soesn't mean you would again. Anyway i rang the doctors this morning and have left a message for a certain gp to call me, one i saw every week after i gave birth as my stitches came undone and it was left to heal naturally so i had to go (hobble) to the doctors once a week every week for 8 weeks for the gp to check it's progress so i thought surely she would remember what i had and also have my notes.

Rum you are right it does make it hard when you already have a DC as you know how great it all is. It's such a funny one, as you feel guilty for feeling sht because you can't conceive when you already have a child, but it's just so hard to keep going and be happy everyday, to entertain them and keep them busy going to playgroup. I know people who don't have any would kill to be able to do that, but seeing DD so young and innocent it breaks my heart that she might grow up alone and I might not be able to provide a family for her. It just makes no sense either that if we could conceive DD so easily, why isn't it happening, we are both young and fit and healthy. Were you trying for 2 years for DD rum*? How on earth did you manage??
It's great that you are all still positive for me! I swing between thinking if it hasn't happened yet it never will, to thinking actually 8 months isn't all that long....
Swede at grandmother and at food shopping! I actually find myself pining for morning sickness!! Hope you manage to stomach more than crispbreads soon though, and yes maybe send DH out in future!
Hungry you might be right, I think what with my incessant negativity he is starting to wonder if something is up too, but being a man isn't very good at discussing his emotions. I am going to try my hardest to take a lighter approach with him, and try and have sex for fun a bit more! I have just started using the opks again today, cd 10, I bought some cheap ones to test with to begin with then will move onto the clearblue ones, isn't that what you did too? I have got my blood tests booked for 11th may, which will be cd21, but what with my late ov I think I will move them to 7 days post ov, hope I can squeeze in an appointment.
mrs a very happy friday for you! I am onto cycle 9 now, so we have been trying for 8 months. Went to see the gp last week, she was lovely and told me she wasn't worried for me, but was also a bit dismissive about any of my concerns, she has booked me in for blood tests though. We pretty much dtd from cd10 to 20 every 2 or 3 days then try and squeeze one or two more in before the end of the cycle. Don't think I could do it anymore! Sorry your sister is still being a selfish cow,families can be hard work can't they.

gingerbread yes dd was conceived on my 23rd cycle. id had bloods taken to check I was Oving qnd dh had had a sperm count and both were normal he also has a dc who is almost 16 so it was obvious any problems were on my side. gingerbread it wasnt easy I almost left him as I knew how much he wanted a baby. In your case you have a child together so i hope you dont get feelings like that x
I (not we) got a letter and it was
headed 'infertility clinic' it was the most hurtful thing ive ever read. 3/4 weeks later I got my first bfp I only done 3 tests incase I got a bfn. then I forgot all about my trouble ttc its like I know it happened ans was brutal I would wish the complete disappointment you feel each unsuccessful month on anyone.
it did happen for us gingerbread and it happened naturally so I really think it will for you too but right now you putting too much pressure on yourself I dont know how to relive it, I gave up but you can't you have your dd to think about.
this is very deep and im not sure how much help but please take care of yourself xxx

Hi everyone, what's everyone up to this weekend? I think we are planning a trip to mamas & papas as got given a gift card from work so want to go and get something for baby like a nice play mat or something. Hasn't really sunk in yet that I've finished work. Hope everyone has a good weekend. Oh can I ask a random question, I'm really liking Chinese food at the moment but can you eat prawn crackers when pregnant? I would have thought there's ok actual prawn in them and it's probably just flavouring but I don't know. Really fancying some tonight but wondered if anyone knew if they were allowed or not. x

You can eat prawns, so prawn crackers are fine :-)

I'm doing a big clean this weekend so the house is really clean before I how back to work on Thursday. It should be easier to maintain then. In theory!

Enjoy your shopping, mrs.

Rum thank you for your flowers and kind words! I can't imagine how crap you must have felt in all those months, so happy it happened for you straight away this time. I think you're right with the putting too much pressure on myself. I am making a real concerted effort this month to just relax. I feel like I did that last month, but maybe not well enough. It probably helps that this month and next month wouldn't be an ideal time to conceive anyway but Im not going to stop altogether. Hopefully just by not fixating on it quite so much it will work for us! I am going to shake myself off and give myself a break for two months!!

Hope you enjoyed your prawn crackers mrs!

I have just started trying to give up sugar as of yesterday, although I'm now thinkiing I should wait until wednesday, after pancake day and today I did some baking as a friend is coming round tomorrow night and has requested cake!!!

Hungry you do realise you are actually superwoman???

How is everyone else? cake where are you up to in your cycle? engels how are you getting on? swede how are you? Anyone else still lurking....?

Morning everyone, hope you are all ok. Well I tried last night to get DS in his new bed in his own room. I managed to get him in the bed, I got in with him and managed to give him a bottle and get him off the sleep... But I then had to lay in the bed with him for hours as every time I tried to quietly climb out he reached for me and would cry. In the end I had to choice but to carry him back to our bed where he slept all night with me and DH. I'm not doing a very good job and feel quite down about this as I will have a new baby here I'm just 3 months or so and don't think I will ever get DS in his own bed as he's so used to sleeping with me. It's a worry as how will I manage feeding a baby with DS in bed with me? Don't know what to do, guess I'll have to try again tonight but it feels like he'll only sleep if I'm in the bed with him.

Morning everyone, hope you are all ok. Well I tried last night to get DS in his new bed in his own room. I managed to get him in the bed, I got in with him and managed to give him a bottle and get him off the sleep... But I then had to lay in the bed with him for hours as every time I tried to quietly climb out he reached for me and would cry. In the end I had to choice but to carry him back to our bed where he slept all night with me and DH. I'm not doing a very good job and feel quite down about this as I will have a new baby here I'm just 3 months or so and don't think I will ever get DS in his own bed as he's so used to sleeping with me. It's a worry as how will I manage feeding a baby with DS in bed with me? Don't know what to do, guess I'll have to try again tonight but it feels like he'll only sleep if I'm in the bed with him.

Gingerbread, I'd wait til Weds. You can say you're giving it up for Lent then. May make it psychologically easier! :-)

And I'm nowhere near superwoman! I didn't do everything I wanted to do with regards to sorting. The house is clean and the garden is tidy though. :-)

Swede, how are you today? Did you go back to work?

Hi to everyone else.

I'm bored of having an anterior placenta now...I just want to feel my baby moving. :-/ Can't help but worry. Argghhh.

Morning everyone.

gingerbread I'm so sorry you've been feeling down, I have nothing helpful to say because I'm sure I'd be the same. I hope you can manage to relax like you're trying to but I know that's so much easier said than done. Did you say the gp was sending you for blood tests?

Ah mrs I'm sorry you're having trouble with ds & sleeping. Not sure you helpful this is & you probably already know but I think it's just going to be a case of being tough and it'll be a few hard nights with lots of tears but you'll get there. I think the key is once you've decided to truly do it, don't give in then & take him into your bed or next time he'll cry twice as long thinking you're going to give in.

Good effort with the cleaning hungry we had a really productive weekend but consequently I'm knackered now!! Could not get up this morning. What's the deal with the anterior placenta? Is that unusual? I'm not familiar with placenta stuff!!

Hungry just looking at the state of our garden makes me feel exhausted, never mind getting out there to do something about it! I did have a bit of a baking frenzy yesterday though, will have to make the most of eating cake until wednesday!! Will your placenta move at any point? Did you have the same with DD? I didn't feel DD moving until about 17 weeks, but I have heard that you feel second babies sooner, I'm sure you'll be feeling that squirming pretty soon.
Sorry you didn't have any luck last night mrs, I think it's just going to be a game of perseverance so don't give up too soon. It reminds me a bit of one of supernannys techniques; put your DS to bed, then sit on the bed with him, then gradually and very slowly move further away from the bed sitting on the floor with your back to them, just a few steps every 15 - 30 mins or so, keep moving away until you get to the door, then sit outside the door for a bit. If they cry or shout for you you have to just ignore it but keep sitting there, and hope they will eventually lie back in bed and drift off to sleep. It will take hours but it gives them the reassurance of you physically being there, without the need for constant cuddles. I'm pretty lucky with DDs sleeping habits now, but when she was younger I really used to have restrain myself from giving in and just picking her up to cuddle her to sleep when she wouldn't fall asleep, you have to be strong with yourself and don't give in!! Have you researched various sleeping techniques online?

Better, an anterior placenta is at the front, so masks movements and kicks, like a shock absorber, so you don't feel them as much / as early. I don't like it!

I felt DD from 11 weeks, and every day. Posterior placenta then though. I've felt a little bit with this one, but nowhere near as much as last time. I think it can move, but whether it will is something else. Obviously once baby is bigger you're more likely to feel it anyway. :-)

Ah, mrs, it must be hard for you. DS will get used to it, but as Better said, it's likely to be a tough few nights. Probably a good idea to do it now you've finished work.

Gingerbread describes the gradual retreat method. If you want my copy of No Cry Sleep Solution, let me know and I'll send it across to you.

Morning, ginger we are just heading into DH's favourite part of the cycle - DTD marathon !! Then my least favourite part the waiting bit... I'm concentrating on carrying on with renovations on the house and learning Norwegian (we have lived here for two years so my lack of knowledge is shocking!) in an attempt to not fixate on that thing that i'm not really bothered about at all ..............

Thanks for the advice Ginger and Better and Hungry, I know about all those techniques but none are really possible because of the habit and routine that I stupidly have got my DS into. He's used to getting into bed with me and has his bottle and then when he's asleep I lay him next to me in our bed. So putting in his own bed awake and sitting on a chair or on the bed etc is no good. I will still have to get in with him and just keep trying like last night to creep out once he's asleep and hope we get there. Personally I think it's been left far too late and I don't think it will happen by June but if it doesn't, it doesn't, just means it will be very hard work when my new baby is here. I have only myself to blame.

mrs I think I may have said before but we put a tv in dds room and bit worked really well just buy cheap peppa pig and ben and holly dvds to keep her going. I doubt she would go to bed away either. it probably goes against all the baby books but it worked for us! good luvk and please don't stress!
dd has hand foot and mouth disease was at oncall docs yday. its not dangerous just contagious and horrible looking
hooe everyone else has a good start to the week.
gingerbread hope that you are feeling better xx

morerum - yep we adopted the tv approach as well in the end with some Barney etc. Works a treat. As you said, probably goes against all advise but really could not care less. My kid sleeps in her own bed all night no problem, that is a good result to me.

Hungry - back at work today and feeling it for sure. I had 512 unread emails when I turned on my computer this morning...oh the fun.

Still feel like vomiting all the time. Today I have survived on crisp bread, fruit and black tea (and I am absolutely starving). Counting down the days until Monday next week when my next scan is due. Hopefully there will be something in the sac this time. Super nervous.

mrs DS was sleeping through the night at 4 months until he turned 2 and was in a big bed. Total disaster! bedtime became a drama and he wouldn't settle.

We gradually phased from lying down with him in his bed till he fell asleep, to sitting on the chair next to him, on the end of the bed, by the door and now we put him to bed and stand just outside the door. he says, "mama's here?" and I tell him I'm there and he's out like a light within 5 minsutes. Still wakes up every night and ends up in with us - I'm going to try putting him back this week since I'm on half term, but if it doesn't work then I'm not going to carry on next week when I'm back to work.

You have to do what works for you, and don't blame yourself. I think with babies and toddlers you just have to do what you have to do to survive and get through the week!

swede sorry to hear you've been unwell. Take care of yourself.

gingerbread sorry hear you've been feeling down. I remember the feeling well when we were ttc DS. It seems like everyone's poking their nose in, unwelcome comments, every woman and her dog is pg. Big hugs.

Sleeping in a hotel room with DS was not really an ideal time to DTD - luckily not ov yet!

Better yes, just waiting to get a +ve opk then I will book my blood tests for a week after that. Getting quite a bit of cm so hopefully it will be in the next couple of days...
cake sounds like our cycles are at similar stages! I can't be bothered dtd lots this time though, got a friend staying over tonight too so doubt there will be any BD tonight! Good luck to you, for DH! How did you end up living in Norway? Are you British yourself? I am asking as I am very jealous! DH and I have decided we would love to go and live in one of the scandinavian countries, maybe in a year or two...
Ah mrs it is so hard knowing what to do for the best. I think only you know yourself what will work for you and DS, good luck to you though, hope you manage to get him settled in his own bed before the next one comes along, and if not maybe a newborn baby will be enough to make him want to go to his own bed to get some sleep
Engels do you think it was putting him in his own bed that was the problem? I am thinking of moving DD into a big girl bed, but we are lucky with how well she sleeps so don't want to rock the boat...or the bed!

Hi everyone,
Morerum - I remember you saying about a tv in your DD's bedroom. I will have to get a tv put on the wall or something as he does like tv before bed. I'm sorry to hear about you DD having hand foot and mouth, I hope she is not too poorly. Someone at work told me their twins had it only a couple of weeks ago and I had never heard of it.
Engels - you are right, I'll take your advice on board. You do have to do what's best to get a decent nights sleep.
I've decided after last night, although not a great success (which you can't expect after night one anyway) that I must be consistent with every night now in order to give it a really good try. If it becomes stupid and by the end of march I still haven't managed it then I might just have to accept that it's not going to happen right now. Tonight we had a practice run at pancakes, mainly because I fancied them and they were yummy. I wonder why we never think to have them any other time. Is everyone having pancakes tomorrow?
Swede - I bet next Monday can't come soon enough for you! I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll come out of there really happy.
Hungry - are you all ready for Thursday?