About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

[SwedeAway]

So, here it is, Part 4! May it bring lots of BFP's for those of us still waiting and may it bring happy healthy pregnancies for those who are fabulously pregnant.

Better I am so angry for you, what an irresponsible and unprofessional woman. Please do make a formal complaint if you have the strength. Certainly hope you can transfer to another appointment.

Gingerbread, we once googled the liklihood of getting pregnant and even on your most fertile days there's about a 9% chance. So I think, given its a 1 in 9 chance, that until you've done at least 9 cycles you're still within the odds, if that makes sense. Plus as someone pointed out upthread, we don't ovulate every cycle so throw in a few of them and you're well within range of normal. HOWEVER...if it's making you feel so bad and going to GP with a white lie will help you feel more in control and positive then go for it.

Metal, thinking of you

meant to say transfer to another midwife!

big virtual hugs coming your way gingerbread xxx
I have the itchiest left nipple! its that bad ive had to strip off! sorry if tmi but its murder!

Haha Rum that gave me a good giggle!!! Thank you for the hugs too! Although I hope they were fully clothed hugs...?

Hazy thank you, that does make me feel a bit better. I think I will still keep my appointment and see what the Dr says, hopefully she can reassure a bit too that it's all still within normal range! and tell me to stop being overdramatic

Metal I hope you are ok, and managing to enjoy your weekend XX

Hello ladies...popping in again after a bit of a long absence. metal I'm so sorry about your news .

Congratulations to the bfps - swede, kt, hazy... (Sorry if I've missed anyone but posting on phone which makes scrolling back impossible!)

Bit of an eventful few weeks here. Had my dad's funeral at the end of January just as DS came down with chickenpox, had a week off with him and then at the end of the following week I came down with pox. I genuinely don't recall a time when I have felt quite so ill. Better now, though still really spotty.

2dpo and in the 2ww again.

Hungry, we do have a part in the house that was made for live in but still, it's awkward having someone there all the time. People tend to recruit privately but there are agencies although it becomes much more expensive using one of those. I tend to go on recommendation which has worked in the past. Maternity leave here is pretty rubbish. By law you have to take a minimum of 6 weeks which is unpaid but you are entitled to take up to 6 months, all unpaid so most people can't afford that and only do the obligatory 6 weeks and yes nurseries take babies from 6 weeks. I can't imagine going back to work after only 6 weeks! I am lucky I guess in that my employer allows 4 months fully paid and an additional 2 months unpaid if you want. 4 months is certainly not long enough but I think I can live with it if I have a good nanny. So different to Sweden where you can basically stay at home on almost full pay for over a year.

On the farm at the moment. Going home in a bit, got a mountain of laundry at home awaiting me

Had a scary day yesterday. When I went to the loo in the morning I saw some brownish (almost invisible) spots when I wiped. It was really faint but since I am looking for it, I could see it. I thought, here we go again...absolutely devastated. But, spent the whole day knicker spotting and, nothing. Checked first thing this morning and nothing so fx it was nothing. Still it totally threw me and I am obviously worried but last time when it started I had brown stuff every time I wiped from when I first discovered it so this seems different. Still, will speak to gyno tomorrow. My scan is on Fri but not sure i can wait that long. I should be around 7 weeks on tue or wed, so not sure if he would be able to see anything if he scanned then?

Sorry for long post.

Swede fx for you - as you say it does sound different. Did you have any spotting with your first pregnancy? I think you can see things from 7 weeks, at least according to this site

also apols for my bad math 9% is not 1 in 9, but less than 1 in 10. But general point still stands about being normal, gingerbread, and that if going to GP will make you feel more positive then you should go for it. How would your DH feel about getting tests rolling if he isn't up for treatment, though?

Hope your nipple is feeling better today rum...

Sorry Chinese not a very nice start to the year for you. Good luck for your 2ww and glad you are starting to feel a bit better.

Swede we watched a programme the other night about Scandinavia, couldn't believe how long they get off for mat/pat leave, it is amazing, thinking about it I actually think even one year in the uk isn't enough, 18 months would be better!! My DH was very jealous that the dads get time off to, he would love to be a SAHD!!
I really hope it was nothing too. Maybe just a bit of left over blood? I have heard that can happen. Take it easy for these early weeks if you can, I realise with a new job and toddler that might be easier said than done, but try to get enough sleep if nothing else. I think they might be able to see something, enough to reassure you anyway hopefully. Fingers crossed until friday for you, hope you've had a nice mini break.

I didn't even notice the math Hazy! I suppose 8 months is only just on the outer limit of average, but it feels like such a lifetime, and with DD being conceived so quickly. I think I would just know sooner rather than later what we are dealing with, rather than getting my hopes up every month if there is a genuine/obvious problem that suggests it just won't happen. Does that make sense!?
DH is happy to go for tests, I think we will just have to deal with the issue of treatments if/when it comes to that and just play it by ear I suppose. For him, I suppose it depends how invasive they were.

good morning!
gingerbread please dont get disheartened it will happen for you im sure of it! â?¥
swede congratulations on the job and good luck finding a nanny. as for scanning at 7 weeks the would definitely see something xxx
chinese im so sorry for your loss good luck in the 2ww baby some light at the end of the tunnel? xx
nipple has gone back to normal thankfully hazy lol xx
ive just made a batch of scones with plain flour so ended up some biscuity rubbish grrrr baby brain lol xx

Swede, I hope you're OK today and you've had no more blood on wiping.

I hope you manage to find a suitable nanny.

Shame I'm not in Sweden is all I can say! High taxes there though, isn't it?

Chinese, I'm so sorry about your dad. Good luck in the 2WW.

Gingerbread, I agree with morerum, in that it will happen for you. I know it's hard to remain positive. And I agree with a white lie for the sake of your own sanity.

Hazy, how are you today?

Morerum, I had to stir baking powder into some cakes last time I was pregnant due to the same error. Easily done!

Glad your nipple is better! :-)

I've booked to see the midwife today as I'm having bad headaches and I'm so thirsty all the time. Thought I should see what she says. I was due to go next week, but as I'm 15+4 today I'm hoping she will try to hear the heartbeat for me!

DD slept for 13.5 hours out of 14 last night. She's not done that before! She only woke at 9.30 and 5.30 for a bottle. Shame I've been awake since she woke though. Sigh!

Morning all, hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Swede hope you're ok and no more bleeding. You should be able to see a heartbeat at 7 weeks, fx your scan will give you some reassurance.

Gingerbread is your GP appointment today? Good luck with that, hope he/she is sympathetic and helpful. I'd have no qualms about saying you've been trying for a year, as it usually takes a while to get things going on the NHS.

Chinese hope your chicken pox is getting better, my DD had it last week but thankfully it was only a mild case and I'd already had it as a child.

After bleeding lightly since Friday I think I finally miscarried naturally last night. I'm still going in to hospital tomorrow morning to get a scan, but hopefully everything will be gone and I won't need to have the op after all. Just want to move on now and get back to ttc!

And hopefully this will be the last depressing post from me - thanks for all the support ladies, it's really been a great help! xx

Morning all, nothing new to report here. No more discharge today so trying to stay positive. Emailed gyno this morning but he said it did not sound like anything to worry about. He was happy to move my scan date though as I said I wasnt sure I could wait until Fri so I am now going at 1pm tomorrow instead. Hoping that it will give me news (any news) so at least I know what is going on.

Hungry - yes high taxes in Sweden BUT excellent infrastructure so you get what you pay for so to speak in the sense that when you are old the state takes care of you, when you are unemployed the state takes care of you, when you are ill the state takes care of you etc etc. So yes, taxes are high but when you need help, it is always there! Here we pay relatively low taxes but we get no benefits what so ever so I think if I had a choice I would rather pay a higher tax and know that there was some sort of safety net should something happen.

Trying to make time pass a bit quicker as I just want tomorrow's scan over and done with. Nervous!!!

Ah, Metalhead. I'm sorry.

I hope after tomorrow you can start to put it behind you and move forwards. I hope you can start TTC soon. Apparently you're really fertile after an MC. Swede is proof of that! :-)

Cross posted there!

Yay for a scan tomorrow, Swede. :-)

And a safety net is important, so I agree with you there, I think.

Afternoon all,
Metal I am so sorry for you. But at least it has happened naturally and you won't have to go into hospital or have too much interference with it. Hope your levels drop quickly and you can get back to ttc, and like Hungry says, I think you are quite fertile after already being pg. have they told you when you can get back to it? Don't worry about the depressing posts, it's totally understandable and that's what we're here for!! My Drs app is on thursday. I am an absolute nervous wreck today on knicker watch. I'm only 8dpo, but CD25, which is when AF arrived last time. I have no idea really when to expect my period to start, but I will poas wed morning if still no AF by then, although I feel I'm jinxing it just by writing that down! Been having pre-af cramps though so trying not to get my hopes up again.

Your gyno is amazing Swede!!! Glad you got your scan brought forward, let's hope there is celebrations for you this time tomorrow!

Wise decision Hungry to book in to see your mw if you're not feeling right, bet you're not struggling to feel symptoms now though! Can't believe you are almost 16 weeks already. and well done to your little DD! I woke up at 4am to go for a wee, and thought how great it is that I can just go back to bed and to sleep, I don't have to sit up trying to get a wide awake newborn baby back to sleep (small silver linings).

Rum and Hungry I hope you are right, if only we could just be told it will take you X long to conceive your baby, I wouldn't care if it was a year if I just knew!!!

Rum can you not pretend you were making those american 'biscuit' things!?? They're a bit like hard scones aren't they. I winged it with some crumble yesterday, never made a crumble before, and it was delicious!

Hi? DH and I are trying for no.2, cycle 1 not started yet, dd is 3yo. This looks like an oldish thread but wanted to say hi anyway... (Don't get how mumsnet works really yet...)

Hi all it's been ages as been working way too hard but popping in and trying to catch up. Not easy on a phone.
Metal - just so sorry. As everyone says deep breath and move on but I'm sure there will be sad moments. Look at swede though pg already. Fx same for u.
Bitter - def need new midwife. Very shocking. Why do thy work in these jobs if they don't care?!
Chinese sorry to hear that re your dad. Awful to have illness on top.
Swede let us know how scan goes. Sure all fine!
I've had my 20 weeks can and all well. Very excited to see him again.and the hosp is so much better than last place where we had ds.
Had horrible day at work today where found out the other manager in the team has been slagging me off to members of my team basically implying I am not doing my job as I'm part time. So nasty to find out especially as I thought we were friends. I'm the only working mum on the team and sometimes it feels lonely. I used to love my job so feel sad tonight that this girl has betrayed me. Why are people so poisonous sometimes? Think it's made my decision about going back to work after baby easier. I just have to get through next 4 months...
Night everyone x

Hello All! So today is my early scan day, feeling very nervous as I am not sure what to expect. Keep thinking that there wont be anything there but I guess if that's the case at least I know. Woke up with serious nausea this morning and I am still feeling awful. Guess that is a good sign.

Toothpaste - Sorry to hear about your work colleagues, its totally out of order but at least you now know that you cannot trust them. It's hard being the only working mum around. In my current team I am not the only one but in my new team I will be the only one (also will only be the second woman in that team which is very male dominated).

Welcome Vicky - The thread may be old but we get newbies all the time which is lovely so you are more than welcome to join! My DD is also 3 and I am today finding out how far along I am with DC2 (if still around). If all is ok then DC2 will be born very close to DD's 4th birthday, great planning by us

hi all. swede, all the best for your scan today. Can't believe it's here already!

welcome Vicky, I've not been on the thread that long either and am quite early on in stages of ttc so you're in good company!

toothpaste, so sorry you've been let down. People really suck sometimes. hugs and

metal, glad things have resolved themselves but I feel for you so much. Take time to grieve and process it x

I am feeling pretty sorry for myself today. We've decided to pause ttc until end Apr to avoid a Dec baby, and I do know in my head this is right for us, but I still so want another DC. This morning a pack of tests that I ordered before AF were delivered to me at work and, despite being marked private and confidential, were accidentally opened in the post room. am mortified. Then just now a colleague brought in his week old baby. He's gorgeous and I had a cuddle, was just fine, then when they walked away with him I nearly burst into tears on the spot. Had to take refuge in the toilets to have a little weep. I know it's early days yet but I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself ATM

Hi, Guinness. That's a tough one...

We've had the December talk too. DH thinks it's not a good idea, but we are realistic that time isn't on our side, so I'm off the pill & we will see how it goes. I don't know what my cycle will be yet, but DH has a birthday in feb; mine & DS are April - so there're always dates to avoid! Oh yeah - and then DH doesn't want to plan a baby for the end of the academic year!

Not quite sure which month he does want. I'd rather have one sooner as then ds and dc2 have a smaller age gap. DS is 2 in a couple of months.

All the best with your journey!

Ok, so nothing too exciting at the scan. Apparently I am only 6 + 1 and therefore the foetus would be too small to see at this stage. I could see a sac and the gyno said it looked thick and healthy. Need to wait a couple of weeks and go back. So, whilst I am pregnant its way too early to see and determine anything. Bit disappointing but at least it wasn't bad news. Back for a scan on the 10th March. Also booked in for my screening for Chromosomal Abnormalities on 10th April. Apparently they do the blood test and measurements and scan all in one go and you get the results there and then which is great (I hate waiting). So now going to sit and wish my life away again until 10th March comes...the waiting game has begun (again).

How frustrating to be waiting again Swede, but like you say at least it's not bad news. A healthy sac feels more real than a line on a stick. My scan is on 14th March so we can while away the next few weeks together...

Hi Vicki, hope your bfp arrives quickly.

Toothpaste that is a horrible thing to find out, and very unprofessional of your colleague. Do you think it's worth raising it with her? Or addressing it in some way? Just seems a shame for your team to have the message that this is what happens to people who work part time. But as you're only there a few more months maybe just biting your tongue is simplest! Glad all was well at the scan.

Guinness poor you, we waited for a while before starting TTC due to changes at my work and although it was the right decision in those months I found it really hard to see women with bumps or babies even though I knew we'd start TTC soon. I kept reminding myself of the reasons why waiting was sensible, and tried to focus on either doing things to prepare for pg, like exercising, or things I won't get a chance to do for a while like taking a few hours for myself to read and have a big coffee. But if it really gets you down, is a December baby such an awful thing?

That sounds about right, date wise, with your 'late' OV, doesn't it, Swede?

At least everything looks good / right for baby's age. That's excellent news.

And it's only 3 weeks til the scan as it's a nice short month :-)

I've never believed in pausing TTC to avoid dates, as there's no guarantee you'd get pregnant anyway. But I'm just impatient and won't stop something I've started! If that's the right decision for your family, then it's understandable.

Henrietta, your DH sounds like he's trying to limit it a little too much! Could be hard planning TTC around only a few acceptable months. And babies can be very early at times too, so there's no guarantee you'll avoid a date even if you fall pregnant in supposedly the 'right' month!

Hi to Vicky. :-) Welcome to a fairly lucky thread!

Hi and welcome Vicky!

Swede sorry your scan was a bit disappointing, hopefully the next one will be more reassuring. It is annoying that all you seem to do is wait in early pregnancy... At least you've got your new job to look forward to and distract you.

Toothpaste that's really rubbish about your work colleague. Some people can be so mean and two-faced. Try not to let it get to you, though I know that's easier said than done.

Guiness we might well be joining you in not ttc-ing until April. I ended up having the D&C after all this morning, as the scan showed there was still some tissue left in my womb (though how that is possible after what came out of me Sunday night I really don't know!!)

Anyway, it all went well and I was home two hours later, now relaxing on the sofa and actually feel fine, if a little tired. They advise you to wait until you've had a period before starting ttc again, and considering the length of my cycles pre-pregnancy I might well be into April by the time we can try again.

I've decided to distract myself by trying to figure out what I really want to (and feasibly can) do work-wise. Being in hospital today reminded me that I've always quite fancied being a nurse, but given the 3-4 year uni course, shift work etc. it's probably not doable with one Dc, let alone potentially two. But I might look into healthcare assistant roles, though I've heard they're quite hard to come by these days and not paid very well, so will have to have a sit down with DH and go through our finances to see how much I would have to earn to keep us afloat...