About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

[SwedeAway]

So, here it is, Part 4! May it bring lots of BFP's for those of us still waiting and may it bring happy healthy pregnancies for those who are fabulously pregnant.

Oh Metal I'm so sorry, adds yet more heartache for you. I don't know what to hope for you other than you have plenty of support and things are physically as easy as possible.

Metal - I am thinking of you. Know how you feel and I know its difficult to deal with. I really hope it goes quick for you. It just sucks:(

Here, nothing new. Feel much more relaxed now that I have decided to take the new job and starting to look forward to it. Leaving tonight to go and visit DD's god parents on their farm. There is nothing better for the soul than spending a few days on an African farm, I can warmly recommend.

Oh, and DD did a voluntary number 2 on the toilet last night. Serious progress! Very proud of her.

So sorry to hear your news metal thinking of you. X
mrs I'm good thank you, not feeling too bad, just worried about my lack of symptoms though :/ I have a scan date now though! Came through the post yesterday! It's 26/02. So counting down these next two weeks I'm so nervous that something's happened though. Ill be at work that day, but I literally work next door to the hosp so not too far for me to shoot off :) just won't feel like going back after though of its bad news. My apt is at 15:15.
How's everyone else doing? Sorry to those who's AF has appeared but at least you can start to track them a bit easier. Hope you all get your BFPs soon!
gingerbread how many DPO are you now? Hopefully you can canx your docs apt fingers crossed!

Well done on making the decision, Swede. Forgot to say yesterday :-)

Will you have to travel loads from the word go? Are you now desperately hunting for a nanny? Will she live in or out?

Kt, yay for a scan date. How exciting! And you know that Better and I have had relatively few symptoms, so try not to worry too much (says the seasoned worrier / hypocrite!).

Gingerbread, I could have sworn you were more DPO than that (I'm afraid I'd have to plump for the 5 DPO today though!). Boo!

I'm bloody hungry today...need to not eat my own body weight in food every day!

Hi all, Happy Valentine's Day!
Metal - I am really sorry. I don't know what else to say. I hope you are ok and getting lots of support at home xx
Better - It's not very helpful with the midwife situation but i can't change, so i'm stuck with mine. I have questions i need to ask re the birth after my first traumatic experience but i'm not sure how to approach it with her.

So has anyone got anything nice for valenmtines? Sadly i'm at work til 5pm and DH is working tonight so i won't see him until the early hours of the morning. I'll have to make do with my DS as my valentine. Think we are going to go out for a meal just the two of us on sunday night instead and DS have tea at my mum and dads.

Mrs, if you call the midwives at the hospital you can ask for a debrief where they talk you through the birth and why things went as they did.

I was going to ask for one, but my booking in midwife told me all I needed to know really.

And we aren't doing anything for Valentines. We agreed not to bother, though we've never done much, apart from me cooking something nice for us. Too much effort this year! :-)

Happy Valentines Day ladies.
My DH is having a knee operation today so no big romantic plans from me, but I bought myself some chocolate so maybe that counts...

Mrs I had a home birth last time, and it was a pretty positive experience so I'm quite keen on it again. DH not so sure - I think he feels we used up our 'luck' last time and things might go wrong. But a big factor for me is that things sped up a lot at the end of DS birth (from 0cm to birth in 4 hours, after a lot of false labour before that) and second births are supposed to be quicker so I'd rather be ready for a home birth than have an accidental one because I couldn't get to hospital in time.

I'd second the idea of getting a debrief from midwives, if you can. If it helps you feel more confident it can only help, wherever you have birth.

Happy valentines day ladies!

Thinking of you today metal

Hurrah for scan appt kt not too far away either & like hungry said, lack of symptoms isn't necessarily a bad thing. Did you have lots last time? I think that's why I found the lack of them this time so disconcerting.

Hope your dh is ok after his operation hazy I thought about a home birth this time round but my only motivation is that I had such a positive experience last time with a hospital water birth that I think I'd panic if there wasn't a pool free at the hospital. So I considered getting a pool at home but on balance were quite far from the hospital & my husband is dead set against it. Plus if I'm high risk this time that's def out!

I'm stuck with my midwife too mrs but after today's debacle I'm considering making a complaint against her!! After seeing her and being thoroughly unconfident she'd made the right call I self referred to the hospital who basically said she's been borderline negligent the last 6 weeks and they actually wrote in my notes that I've been mismanaged and wrongly advised by my comm. midwife!!

Better, that's been the main source of my concerns; that my last pregnancy was heavy on symptoms (puking, really). I was saying to a friend yesterday that I equate pregnancy with puking, so this one has been most odd.

Bloody hell, Better. Is that in relation to the bleeding? Did they examine you to try to find the cause? Is your care plan going to change now?

I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable going back to the midwife who had been slated by the hospital in my notes!

Afternoon all, finishing work in ten mins so just a quickie!
Better - Bloody hell! Will you get a new midwife allocated then? That's appalling and unacceptable. You can't see her again, that's for sure. My midwife, i don't really know what to say, i've seen her twice which i know is not a lot but i had to call her to do my MATB1 form as i needed it with finishing work at the end of Feb and she was a bit put out about it. She also put the wrong due date on it, so i had to go back and tell reception and wait for another form and she came out to give the form to the reception woman to pass to me and she never even said hello to me or waved, just looked thoroughly pissed off! Great attitude there of a midwife. I'm not looking forward to seeing her on the 26th Feb which is my next appointment at 15 weeks. I don't get the feeling she likes me, either that or she is just very unfriendly generally. I'm not overly keen for a debrief on my last birth, i just want to know that although i had 3rd degree tear that it is ok to have a natuarl delivery. I briefly mentioned it to my midwife on the first appointment but she seemed disinterested.

Hazy - Lucky you with the homebirth. Can i ask you to explain how it all went and what you did etc? I am almost certain, all being well that i will go for that option. I really wanted to first time round and really wish i had gone for it.

Hungry - Think they will allow me to settle in first before any traveling but I did tell them that I won't travel in third trimester (if I get there) or for the first 5 months and they agreed to that. Haven't started looking for a nanny but will have to do this asap, just hard to find someone you trust. DH wants live in but I am not so sure. We had it before and I wasn't too comfortable, it's weird.

No valentines here, we have never celebrated it, mainly because we think its a bit forced but also because our wedding anniversary is on the 18th so we save romance for then This year we will celebrate our 8th anniversary, time sure flies. Only me and dd tonight as DH is at the cricket (SA v Aussies).

Well the whole sorry tale is this. Obviously I've had this bleeding now everyday since 11 weeks. The 12 week scan showed baby was fine. Sonographer said give it 2 weeks then see midwife if it hadn't stopped. So at 14 weeks I went to see my midwife. I chose to be booked at a different hospital to the one she routinely works with as I had my last baby there and it's equal distance from our house with the other one anyway.

When I saw her at 14 weeks she didn't even check the water sample I took in, was super dismissive, told me to ring the hospital if I wanted when I got home but there was probably no point and they'd just tell me the same as her.

So today, at almost 17 weeks I went for my appt with her. A student midwife tested urine n said there were 2 red flags & it needed sending off for testing. My midwife took it, threw it in the bin & said 'it'll just be cos of the bleeding, we're not wasting the labs time' THEN I'd taken a pad I'd just taken off to show her the bleeding, she didn't even look, threw it straight in the bin THEN she said 'oh none of your blood test results from your booking in are here but I don't know how to find them out with you being booked at a different hospital, ask your consultant when you go, there might be something of concern in them!' (Bearing in mind, this is he consultant I should have seen from 6 weeks on who she 'forgot' to refer me to) THEN I asked her about he bleeding and said I was really concerned that I'd never had any bloods taken or swabs done or anything to try and find out why it's happening & it was making me really anxious as it's been everyday for 6weeks. She said 'it is strange, I haven't known it happen before, though I have heard of it. If you were booked at the other hospital I'd rush you in now for an emergent scan, but I don't deal with your hospital, it's probably nothing,' THEN she did my weight and said 'oh you've hardly put anything on, that's not a good sign, you do hear of growth problems in women with coeliacs, ask your consultant!' I then asked her to listen in for baby and she said it was too late as we'd ran over the appt time.

So needless to say I came out both furious and very worried, rang the hospital who told me to go straight in. I have a water infection for one, then a speculum showed a condition to do with my cervix which is at present fine, but could turn nasty and there are certain things to watch out for. It also alters the care plan, they couldn't believe she hadn't sent me there 3 weeks ago or even sent my water sample off. They did a scan and baby is fine, but they were furious at the midwife!

What a long self centred post, I'm sorry, ignore if you wish, just needed to get it off my chest!!

Wow Better, I can't believe your midwife! I think you should make a formal complaint and refuse to see her again, ask to be transferred to someone else. How awful! Some people simply should not be in any sort of caring profession.

DH and I aren't getting each other presents for Valentines this year, but we'll treat ourselves to the Waitrose meal deal and a movie tonight.

Thanks metal but it's nothing compared to what you're going through, I really hope you're as ok as possible x

Firstly, I'm glad you've been checked out and everything with baby is fine.

And you really, really, cannot see that midwife again. If I were you, I'd do a written complaint and ask to be transferred to somebody else's care. She isn't fit to do the job, IMO. And she may get even worse if she reads your notes. You need to think about your baby, and she is NOT the person to trust with its welfare / best interests at heart. /lecture over!

I'm ok today, thanks Better. I guess I'll be up down for a little while, at least until we can ttc again.

Betternotbitter, omg, my heart goes out to you. That is terrible. I really think you need to insist on another midwife. The one you have is a disgrace! All my best wishes to you in your pregnancy.

Better, you must change midwife, that is so unprofessional!

Metal, glad to hear you are sort of ok today. Stay strong. You will have bad days and not so bad days. I felt much better once it was done and I could start focusing on ttc again.

Dd is asleep and I am watching Come Dine With Me Supersized (sad?) and missing the UK a bit.

Swede is it supersized meals or people...?

Both I think

better thats awful! I would definitely be asking for another midwife! I hope you're ok xx

Better I cannot believe someone who is a trained and trusted professional with the best interests and health of mother and baby would behave that way. She must have some serious issues! Definately write a letter of complaint, she needs to be dealt with so she can't be this complacent with anyone else. Very glad baby is ok, and you are too, and hope you get the treatment you deserve from now on!
Metal glad you are feeling a bit brighter, but I think you are right there will be up and down days. Only time will help, of sorts, I suppose. and chocolate. Lots of chocolate
Swede congratulations on taking the new job, how exciting for you! Hope they are respectful of your wishes too re travelling. You're making me want to watch that programme! Don't miss the uk too much, I would much rather be where you are, it is soo cold and wet here at the moment.
We aren't doing anything tonight, went out for lunch but only as DH had a bonus day off, he's gone to work tonight though.
Yeh Hungry 5dpo is pretty rubbish isn't it, I'm just praying I can last another week or so before AF turns up to make my lp a bit longer. Not feeling at all confident anymore that I will get my bfp. 8 months is just too long for there to be nothing wrong.

I can imagine live in would be odd, Swede, unless you had a self contained annex so they didn't share your space.

Do you recruit yourself or use an agency?

What's maternity leave like over there?

And that's good re limiting the travel. Must be a relief that they're happy to accommodate you. They must have really wanted you :-)

Gingerbread, Fx you'll have a longer LP than before.

Up to a year is normal for someone your age though, even though that feels like forever. Are you going to tell a white lie to the GP if you have to go? Get tests started?

The weather sounds hideous again today. Not as bad as we had it the other night, but not good. :-/

Hungry, yes I think I will tell a little white lie, but I also have concerns over my LP length, possible thyroid issues and general state of mind due to 8 months of disappointment to add to my list! God I'm a walking wreck at the moment, I do need to pull myself together. Please give me a good slap and talking to ladies, 8 months isn't really so long is it???

How is everyone else tonight?

Hi Better - I'm so sorry about your appointment with that dreadful midwife and I can't believe her attitude and lack of care and professionalism. Definitely make a formal compliant and get a new midwife. I am a little worried now about how my midwife will be in two weeks as she was so unfriendly last time I saw her.
Metal - I hope you're ok