You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Good to see you!
Leeds fared ok in the storminess, though one unlucky friend had all her guttering blow off

Hi everyone,

Well done for all the PMA on here. MissHobart there's something strangely relieving to know that you've missed the boat this month, so you get a mental break from all the symptom spotting. It's quite liberating.

I DTD 2 days before and the day after Ov, but not sure that's enough, so I'm assuming it hasn't worked this month. Which is ok, since I've applied for the job of my dreams and keeping my fingers crossed, so a BFP right now might not be the best timing.

Minion good luck with the lesson, and just think that anyone who is getting road rage at a learner driver is only raising their own blood pressure and ruining their own day. Suckers. Hope it goes well.

(By they way, I love the Walking Dead too! There's a discussion thread about it on here, come join us!)

Finally, I have posted this before, but for anyone who is struggling with the constant Facebook bombardment from smug parents needs to read this blog [http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/55733417064/maternity-pics-round-up-part-ii STFU Parents] it's bloody genius

Happy shagging everyone

Oh bloody link fail

[http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/55733417064/maternity-pics-round-up-part-ii STFU Parents]

and again..... what am I doing wrong?

Aha got it now

I'm back!
And I only stalled 3 times, one right at the end when I thought phew it's all over!
Yes!!! Right I'm off to snoop that linky, do the dishes and shed loads of hazard perception, cuz I'm not too hot at that just yet.
I loves the PMA and yep it really is relieving having a month where you know for certain you can't be pg!
I prescribe a month every 6 months for sanitys sake...
Oh, and gin x

What's PMA?

I failed my test 5 times due to stress and shakes as soon as the examiner got in the car, I took my first test after only 12 lessons and my instructor just couldn't understand why I kept failing! I drive home after each one! Wish I'd known about valium in those days!

hi peeps

PMA = positive mental attitude and boy we needed some around here!

glad the lesson went well min, I too took 3 attempts to pass my test. I swear the only reason I passed third time was because the examiner was a woman I felt more at ease than with the grumpy old men before her!

Essie its good to "see" you! good news on getting date for the op. how long is the recovery time afterwards? sorry to hear about the possible mc too . but I've said it to others before, take it as a positive than you can get pg!

I'm in full symptom spotting hell here. ulcers, sore gums, back ache, pain near ovaries days after ov, crying randomly thinking about how much I love dh! oh and let's not forget the lack of symptoms which are obviously symptoms right?! boobs haven't got bigger like normal, nips not sore like normal. and hell dhs fellas can't swim so I don't even expect it to happen! I think I need mental help!

OK think of something else....oh someone mentioned the storms! I'm in Devon. not affected thank goodness but very windy and lots of damage nearby. feel sorry for all the people who have flooded homes and businesses! I drove up to Oxford the other day and was . at the fields full of water beside the m5. bonkers!

Good evening. Long time no speak - work has been frickin mental. I wish this rain would just feck off.

On a different note. Today I started my first Af in 8 YEARS !

My eyebrows seem to be sprouting uncontrollably as well. I feel like old Subo with the mono brow.

8 YEARS! omg! jealous much!! so I guess that is kind of a congratulations moment bumpkin lol!

Yeh, it's a big relief. I was starting to doubt it would ever come back.

Good news bumpkin! There really are times when it's good to see the ol' witch They're few & far between these days though!!
Wish me luck viroids, meeting up for lunch with 33yr old friend who got accidentally or so she says upduffed whilst on holiday in Thailand. Going to do my bestest not to be

Fab news bumpkin though I truly believe I've seen it all now! someone's actually glad to see the old mare!
No really, it means you can now truly count cycles and start off on the right foot so I'm dead chuffed for you!

ness ouch... Nod and smile. Nod and smile... It's all I can offer. It's a tactic I've become very adept to lately. I love my friends with all my heart but there still is an element of 'why not me'.
I'd never let on to them tho, as it's my prob not theirs, but still....

not fair

Cosy that link is class and has made me feel tons better about the fact I've hidden 4, yes 4 friends from my facey newsfeed this week alone due to constant baby/bump/frigging annoying status updates. I too sometimes feel like giving up technology and going to live in the woods like the blogger.

lil, I live in Oxford, right on the edge of the gigantic expanse of water you saw. I think we are ok, we didn't flood in 2007 and it was as bad here then too.

bumpkin, that's got to be weird after that amount of time!

lil Not sure of recovery time for the op, have a pre op the week before though so should find out then all being well. Annoyingly my ERTD is due the day of the op. FFS. They are going to advise me at the pre op if I need to back on the pill or take that thing that delays the witch for a few days or not. GP said they might be happy to do the op regardless. Don't really fancy them delving about up there when the cow bag is in full flow.

ooh Essie small world! on your ertd issue, my friend is going to take some pill to stop AF if it comes at time of her wedding, without having to go back on proper birth control, so ask about that. I'd never heard of it but she had and asked her Dr about it as she has cone off pill now ready to start trying after they are married in the summer. her Dr is going to let her try it once before the wedding too so she can make sure she doesn't have an awful reaction, like a face full of spots!

hello all, good luck for the op essie
Anyone in testing week then? I feel the need for some BFPs!

I had acupuncture today - thankfully she used much finer needles than when I had it before so didn't go back to work covered in strange dots! She said I need to warm up and move more. She seemed quite interested in me losing some weight, which I didn't expect but as it's something I want to do, I'm all for it. I'll be getting an "advice" later on. Quite excited. It feels nice to have someone else thinking about all this!

Am on CD30 and lots of cramps but no ERTD yet. Am getting a bit annoyed as I need to book the CD3/21 tests so want it to come and then we can figure some stuff out. Guess if she's not here by CD37 I'll test. Watch this space!

juniper if this month turns out to not be the same as previous! I'll be ready to test in 9 or so days.

Not holding out much hope as per tho. However, and I do feel like a complete twat saying this, I've not yet got sore boobs and they are usually there ready and waiting for me straight after icing. I've also been ridiculously hungry these past two days, I cannot get full no matter what and had the oddest type of cramping, but then I'm prone to that.

I'm supposed to have iced on valentines day but I'm not sure if it was earlier as OV pain always lasts for 5 days or so for me.
I have my first blood test tomorrow early doors so in a week should have some sort of inkling as to if I'm actually producing enough hormones etc.

Hey viroids
Had lovely lunch with friend. In chatting found out she's been trying for a while and actually had 2 MCs in the last 18 months, poor thing! Just shows that you never know what's gone on behind the smug Facebook scans etc...

Thanks for all the lush comments guys. Yes, it is a bit weird. It almost feels like I'm in my teen years again, having to get to grips with the cramps and flows etc. I am glad to see her again, but I guess for a lot of you ladies you don't want to see her at all.

Hellooo Viroids.

I have nc-ed... those of you who are Walking Dead fans will understand the reference..., ok this name isn't quite as nice and cosy as my last one, but I felt the need to adopt a stronger persona ;)

A gentle Hooya (with my Samurai sword) for all those of you who are symptom spotting. I've been there, tortured myself silly... trying hard not to this time but I can't guarantee it...

Juniper how long is your usual cycle...? Is 30 days normal for you?

And here's the perfect antidote to all of you feeling pissed off with your facebook friends:

Mommy Jacking

I adore that website.

cosy / mich thanks for sharing those links, I am laughing so hard over here I might cry. I needed that! The best is the first comment on the maternity pictures post ... "I see Jesus in those stretch marks!" Bwahahahaha....so great. I might be on this site for a few hours. Good thing I'm not at work.

Sorry to nessa and duck for the insensitive family chatter. It can be maddening. They all do it at some point or another, don't they? My grandfather made a comment to my cousin's wife recently, while we were all looking at her just-printed wedding pictures! She's lovely and just smiled and ignored him. I, meanwhile, shot him a death look. He doesn't even bother asking me anymore.

DH and I ended up not buying the bigger car....at least not yet. I am playing hard to get with the salesman and he's already bettered the offer. Maybe this weekend. It's sort of fun to focus on something other than IVF!

Although speaking of....yes, there are now three embryos total on ice. Of course, we are still waiting for the genetic testing results on the last two. I hope they both check out. AF came on Sunday, and I'll start my frozen transfer cycle with her next visit...so guess who's JSing again for a month?! I need a nice, bright cape in spring colors to combat the god awful snowpocalypse that has overtaken New Jersey.

juniper I actually just made an acupuncture appointment for next week. I have never been but I have always wanted to try it. I really want to make the most of this month I have before my transfer, try to recenter, etc. I am certain weight will come up for me, too. I am going to try to take off another 5-8 (pounds) this month. Down 23 as of today and very pleased!

hehe, I so love STFU Parents. My brother was like the walking & talking version of this website but either my mum told him to shut up or he's got over himself. It was tough for a while!

Right, so we now have rach-duck and cosy-sword. Right?
Cheering you on minion!

michonne As I was telling acupuncture lady only today, my cycle was on a clockwork 28 days, ERTD would even start at the same time (half ten in the morning if you really want to know...) But the last cycle was 35 days and this one seems to be pretty out of whack too (ov seemed to either be v early or v late). I am firmly NOT symptom spotting (though getting cramps which are quite strong at points) so although I would LOVE a BFP, I don't think we managed to DTD at the right time. I feel ok about it though. I've got pea protein to buy and warming and moving to do! ;)

She talked a lot about ERTD being a period of grieving and stuff and I thought of us lot - all the ups and downs!

Right, quite enough of my verbosity tonight! Sweet dreams! xx

Hi ladies,

Ive been a bit quiet over the past few days as the ERTD is in... Altho tbf we DTD'd around OV but im not too sure if it was enough. Had a good chat with mother in law about how im feeling about it all, and now ive decided to just have fun and not sink into depression each time AF makes her monthly appearance!

Let the good times roll! :) ps just catching up on older posts, me too am sick of fb announcements..

Keep the positive attitudes coming! emma I'm with you on having fun.

Still reading STFU Parents and laughing...people are an endless source of amusement.

morning ladies.

like the links! damned if you do damned if you don't it seems.

well its Thursday and that means one thing....fun and games with my adorable little nephew. although he's so over giving out hugs now! its amazing how its got easier to be around him and I'm even accepting sils pg now. I even found the courage to speak to her about it last week. so ur PMA must be rubbing off on me . if you could just send some through to help the studying I have to do for next weeks exams....!

Hope everyone has a good day, the sun is shining here