You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Hob duck in some ways I can relate. My mum can go months without even enquiring how I am yet she's round at my sisters every single day. It may be cause she lives around the corner, but I believe they invented this magical thing called a telephone. Seems like she's not bothered about me.

Husband says as soon as we manage to get pregnant shell all of a sudden perk her ears up. I somehow don't think she'll even care, she's never once asked me if I'm planning to get pg.
I'm kind of jealous of all those lovely close relationships people have with their mums.
Thankfully my MIL is fab and I can go to her if I needed to. Hopefully you have someone else too duck, even us here x

Well I think I'm into twotting stage, or at least I should be, seeing as though I never even got a positive line on the opk and no EWCM this month, I imagine it's all for nowt.
I've even managed the elusive zita number 10.

Yesterday was spent with appalling cramp so didn't don my cape, but will make up for it tonight.

How was everyone's weekends?

Morning viroids
duck as others have said, don't let them get to you. Maybe your sis is just as fed up with DM attention.

DP's birthday today, I'd planned a nice breakfast in bed + bonuses as its the beginning of shag week but he staggered in from the pub very late & is now sleeping off a hangover!
Most exciting thing that happened this weekend was getting my sky bill cut in half & finding new hairs growing out my chin must get a life

Haha! Well cutting my Sky bill in half would get me pretty excited too Scoob!
I'm feeling your pain Minion - I haven't got a frickin' clue where my cycle is at the minute, don't know if I'm Twotting or yet to OV... I'm in awe of you making it to 10 though
We managed twice so far on cd11 & cd13, but I'm away at the mo, so next chance is tomorrow, cd16, so not sure if we'll have missed the boat. Ah well, just keep shagging I guess!!

Hellooo,

Good to hear the positive attitudes going on here. Sorry you're feeling family pressure Aylesbury it's shit isn't it. I can relate as well, recent family dramas have caused huge stress for me, which doesn't help does it!

I think I'm Twotting as well. Been temping this month, and it's a little confusing but I'm pretty sure the magic window has passed. Trouble is, I haven't managed to DTD as often as I should have this month, due to work commitments - so I'm not holding out much hope this time.

Interestingly, I've been rubbish at drinking water this month, and have run out of grapefruit juice so haven't had any of that for a while - but my EWCM has been epic! What the hells going on there then?!

Oh and hats off to Minion for making the magic number 10!

Gratefully accepts the JS crown, does a little curtesy and organises a whip round for anti chafe cream...
But it doesn't mean anything, as per quality not quantity and I'm afraid I just can't put up the goods. Guess time will tell x

As my cycle buddy Minion I will be watching our for you, since it would be a minor miracle for me to conceive this month (unless DPs swimmers are persistent little buggers able to hang around for several days..)

hi everyone. studying for exams next week here. boring. did take dhs swimmers in for round 2 this morning though. roll on 2weeks for the results.

minion well done on the magic 10. we got to 9, with 6 consecutive days, and that was hard work! think dh is glad of the rest!

I love the idea of a JSing crown! Minion is officially the current Shag Queen!

I think it's going to take a brave woman to take that crown off Minion... I for one won't be challenging the 10 shag record!!

10 days in a row, huh? Now that's a challenge!

What is supposed to be so magic about the number 10?

rummages in pocket for something to add to the fund...finds some E45, 5p and a pony treat

• Just to clarify, is it 10 days in a row or 10 days in the cycle? I'm fancying a challenge...(watch this space)

The magic 10 is from Zita, and it's over the cycle, not part of SMEP, which I've not gone anywhere near as it looks like too much work!

Cosy - I'm in the same boat! OV early after 6 days if no dtd and OH was in no state to perform till a couple of days after!

What is it with men being out of action at the vital time? DP's had a hangover all day, he was throwing this afternoon (apparently something he ate yesturday). He's promised to be ready for action later but I'm not holding out much hope.

Congratulations on the jsing crown minion
Is this now a tread challenge that need beating like a jsing Olympics?

thankyou thankyou thankyou!
I accept this may be a hard title to hold on to so I shall up it to 11 tonight to make it a runaway success...ish.

cosy my cycle bud, I don't think ive been successful either this month, not through lack of trying, but you know, alignment of stars and all that jazz.

well walking dead is on so im going to log off and feast my eyes on a zombie massacre, so romantic eh x

Evening all... feeling better today and thanks to you lovely ladies for your messages.

Today is the magic O day according to my app (OH is not impressed that it is password protected ha ha...does he need to know the status of my cervical mucus? I think not!)

OH has been feeling poorly today but he WILL be dtd in about half an hour. I am not accepting excuses. I have to function with period pain so he can just suck it up and crack on. It doesn't even have to be creative, it just needs to be productive

Right....where's my cape!?!

Really good mate at work has just posted scan picture on fb. no one had any idea she was pregnant, I should be pleased for her but I just feel thank god I've got a week off & don't have to pretend to be happy

Ha! Love how determined you are Duck might feel a little sorry for your DP, but I'm a pushover!

That sucks Scoob - we're of the age now where Facebook is essentially just a baby-reporting mechanism I'm getting bloody fed up of it!

My cousin came over with her 8wk old baby today! She's the one who got married a month after me, thought she'd caught a tropical disease on honeymoon, then found out she was 4 months gone...
She is just the cutest little thing, though she did cry A LOT, so I tried to be smug about my childless carefree state failed obviously!

My Gran said to me "are you envious?", and I'm like "of course I bloody well am, if everything hadn't gone tits up I'd be 7 months pregnant now!" Obviously I didn't say that, I said something lame about not being envious of the crying, but seriously, what a STUPID question to ask someone that's lost a baby!!!

Oh ness I'm sorry about your gran saying that. People are so unbelievable in those situations - they seem to forget so quickly. I had to laugh once as I was in the treatment room at the GPs for my fortnightly blood test for molar pregnancy follow up. The nurse asked me if I was watching Call the Midwife! I was like "er, no, I don't really feel like watching programmes about babies at the moment". I could just see her wishing the ground would open up! (I do love her though). big hugs to you.

Crikey, you're all going for it with the Zita10, aren't you? I'll have to chage my name back. DTD is really the last thing I feel like doing but as ERTD seems to be on the way I don't need to worry about it. Hoping the acupuncture on Weds will get me feelings more positive.

Has anyone here had it? I have to wear loose clothing so she can access my legs and arms. I don't wear trousers so not sure what to do about tights/leggings - guess she'll have to deal with me slipping them off!

Furry and Ness

I know how you feel. I there are days I have to get off FB because of all the gorgeous baby pics and PG announcements. I am sure it hurts physically some days.

Thank goodness for you lot, I'd have gone round the twist without being able to vent on here.

Juniper Come on lovey... get with the plan. NORWICH tonight for mr juniper

Ahhh foot in mouth from the relatives. I know it well.
In laws have stopped asking me now but his nana still insists. Feel like screaming 'don't you think we're trying?'.

I'd like to say, it's a phase. But that particular one lasted until they got their grandson from brother number 2. Thankfully we're now twelfth to our own devices! Though FIL still maintains we'd have a better life without sprogs.

Pretty sure he'll change his mind.... Almost.

Well viroids, I'm off out to provoke road rage amongst people who forget it's hard being a new driver. Fancy taking bets on how many stalls I manage today?

Twelfth?
huh, left obvs.

Enjoy your lesson Minion! It took me forever to learn to drive, I really enjoyed it (still do!) but I'm terrible at concentrating. I passed on my fourth test!

I passed third time. I'm not great under exam conditions! Good luck Minion. Hope you don't get beeped at by too many cretins today.

Hope everyone is well. Any BFPs while I've been away with my head in the sand.

All ok here. Have a date for my cervix op which is fairly soon, so I'll be glad to get that out the way. Surgeon says he doesn't think the problems there should be preventing me getting upduffed though, so I wonder if there is another problem as I am now on cycle 16, though I think I might have had an early mc in Jan but by the time I'd got my head together and went to the dr it was too late to tell anything. Feeling quite zen about it all at the moment though. Got a fair amount of other, mostly nice, stuff to take my mind of all that.

I think about you lovely people often though. Sorry I don't log in much, I just feel like I only have negative stuff to tell you all.

How did everyone fare in the storms at the weekend? We got a load of roof tiles blown off our house and speared into the lawn! Scary!

Love to you all x

Our carnage included a wheelie bin blown over but that's cause I'm in manc and that weather is normal for us.
It's sunny today which makes a Nice change from year round dullness.