You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

I agree, it only takes 1 red! fx they are all ripe and juicy!

well ladies I think my egg has got stuck! my cycles were stasrtimg to alternate between cd18 and cd20 icing, today is cd22 and I have absolutely no signs I'm going to ov. I normally have loads of ewcm from right after AF finishes up to of day, but this month I've had bugger all and what I have had hasn't been good quality iyswim. I took my bbt yesterday just to check I haven't missed it and that one temp seems to accord with my previous pre ov temps. anyone got any thoughts? cbfm has been high since cd12, useless waste of money I'm just feeling really fed up this week, first the lazy swimmers and now a lazy egg. we haven't been DTD as much, and I'm annoyed at us for that too, I don't want to waste an opportunity! it only takes one after all!!!

sorry I've brought glumness to the fred again. the bottle of last night obvs didn't help. might try instead.

lil I used to have late ov all the time. So frustrating. And I had the CBFM stuck on high one cycle too; great use of $! I would ov anywhere from day 14 to day 20something. Maddening.

cosy only one of the five last time made it to freeze. Ideally we will have a fresh transfer with something from this cycle and keep the other guy (and, god-willing, any leftovers from this cycle) on ice for later.

Heard this a.m. that of six collected, four were mature, and three fertilized. So we are already down by half. I know that's technically a "good" result but I am having a hard time keeping my positive and brave face on. I just want to make it to transfer this time. I won't hear anything now until Thursday which is cruel and unusual punishment. How will I keep myself occupied?

I know you "just need one" but this is numbers game and I have so little to work with when I do the math in my head.

Time for a big hunk of for breakfast.

red three is still good. try and stay positive. Thursday will come round before you know it

feeling better now because I just got a +ve opk so despite the lack of cm my body must be doing something apologies for all the contraband going on here today, but it had to be done to save my sanity!

red

3 is good!
are they going to implant all 3 (imagine triplets! ) or one at a time?

They still need to divide in the lab. Whichever ones reach blastocyst stage (very viable) will he genetically tested and then we will put back one winner. I just hope we don't lose them all along the way :(

*be

I am willing those embies on red. Hope you can keep busy & distracted but it must be a stressful time. Read a few Dan Brown books? I find myself totally swept up in them to the point I was reading the Da Vinci code under my desk at work!

congrats bingle.

lil weirdly, I am in the same CBFM boat! I've decided to knock it on the head for the rest of this cycle, the lack of a peak was upsetting me to the point that I cried in bed most of yesterday - not good at all to be so upset before ERTD even turns up! I think next cycle I will definitely enter into the spirit of the thread fully and try to JS EOD.

Anything coming up this week? Any TWOTters or similar??

Everything crossed for you red! Hoping for some good news later in the week.

So ERTD has left the building, so that was a 23 day cycle and lasted 3 days. What's with that?! Back to the JSing anyway. Not sure what the tactics are this month but cape will be GB flag on outside as Winter Olympics support but fleecy lined inside for warmth and comfort!

Red it's all so technical and scary isn't it. When DP had his SA, I felt a little sad leaving his little swimmers behind in the lab. I can only imagine how it must feel to leave your little embies on ice. But imagine them in the best, well nourished, safest place possible for them to work their magic. Fingers well and truly crossed for you.

Lil I know it's hard, and I'm the world's worst - but try not to get too hung up on second guessing what's going on inside. Just keep the area flooded with swimmers, and nature will do the rest. Perhaps youve ov'd but just didn't have a lot of EWCM this month?

Having said that, (like I said, I'm the world's worst), I started temping today. A little late in my cycle, but my bbt only arrived yesterday. I'm just finishing ERTD, so the two weeks of fun / pressure / doing the sex cos you have to rather than want to is about to begin.

I'm going away at the end of the week though, which is likely icing time, so I don't have much hope for this month. Plus, I've just applied for a new job (EEEK! It's my dream job.. EEEK) so IF I get it, it's prob best I don't start it pregnant..... (but a new job or a BFP, either or both is fine by me)

Good luck on new job cosy x

Still no ertd and def not pg. Poas and got faint and therefore not counted ov line. Faint like not really there!

DH was being a total arse but have made up and even had sex twice just fun ! Forgot what that feels like!
As I don't know what's going on we may as well forget it till ertd arrives if she ever does. She needs to arrive so I can go and see preggers young gp to take my blood and make me want to punch her smug face ! I would not of course ever do such a thing but it's fair to say I hate her!
DH wants a dog and I've said no in case we get pg another example of life on hold and I have decided not to book a hol until a last min one comes up.

Congrats bingle and have a good week all xx

Hey ladies waves. Can I join you please? I need someone to keep me sane and prevent me from getting too obsessed with spotting symptoms that don't really exist!

I'm 23, TTC DC#1, and about to start cycle 3 (once AF, or RTOD, has buggered off).

Im determined NOT to get too obsessed about getting pregnant and so far am refusing to go down the route of OPKs and various other charting methods BUT I fear I may be drawn in without the help of you lovely ladies SOOOO anyone fancy keeping me company whilst I distract myself with a nice warm cup of hot chocolate and home made pineapple upside down cake?

BTW, LOVING the philosophy of JSing ;). Equally as stressful perhaps as monitoring hormone levels etc BUT waaaaaay more fun :p. Can't wait for AF to go do one so I can get my cape on (which, by the way, is rainbow striped and lovely) and pounce on DP!

Hi Spotti welcome, sounds like you have the right attitude although don't count on us to prevent you from symptom spotting or getting obsessed, some of us regularly fall off that wagon

Beetle how late are you? What's going on? FWIW, everyone on here recommended I just go ahead with holiday plans if only to invoke the law of sod. Don't put your life on hold, it only adds to the stress.

And get a dog! Think of it this way - if you get a dog now, you'll have at least 9 months to get to know the dog, let it settle in to become a member of your family, so when your baby does come along, doggie will be ready to protect its new pack member! Far better than leaving it and getting a dog in the future when you already have young children. (I love dogs, they enrich my life and I want about 10 - currently making do with 2). Dogs help with stress, and give you lots of practise cleaning up poo, wee, dealing with broken sleep..... get a dog!

In all seriousness, don't put your life on hold, because it will only increase your stress and that in itself might hinder your chances of conception. Enjoy your life and a baby will slot right in when the time comes.

Oh won't someone please hooya some sense into me. The 23 day cycle has really got to me so it turns out. Sat at work wanting to cry for no reason. Can see a spot everywhere I look, feeling all sorts of twinges down there which should be the build up to ERTD tomorrow but i've already finished. I just don't understand!

Anyway, beetle, get a dog if you know you want one! And then post pictures for us all. Agree with the 'dont put life on hold' sentiment above. You won't get anything done if you keep holding off. I wasn't sure about a work trip to USA because of TTC but went ahead and booked to invoke the law of sod but nothing. Except I still get to go to the US!

Welcome Spotti. Don't let us lead you astray! We are turning into slightly more obsessive JSers than we would like. Stay strong - no sticks!

Welcome aboard spotti you sound like you'd fit right in, so tell us about yo'self so we all stop agonizing over banned contraband results ha!

Well I'm not peeing on my little sticks who am I kidding and it's gradually getting a darker shade to it. Have the washing machine repair man in any time now so am having to wait till he's done his bit before I can do mine. Argh, I'm bursting but can't go till 2!
Just come in from a driving lesson, man it's difficult, I just can't stop stalling at junctions.
Thank god my instructor swears too, I'm like a chuffin' navvi!

minion I stalled yesterday in the middle of crossroads just as the lights were changing. Good times.

Hooyas and hugs as required. dulcet have you POAS? Sounds so weird.

hi spoti

Am definitely sacking off any contraband from now on, it's too crazy-making for me!

Dulcet yours sounds weird.... POAS!

Minion I stall and do stupid things all the time and I've been driving for nearly 20 years. My driving instructor used to tell me off for being too hesitant at junctions, and I'm STILL too hesitant. Better to be slow and careful I think.

I have bought sticks but am holding off as I feel so silly POAS when I have had ERTD. It wasn't lighter or anything, it was normal just early and shorter. I will, of course, keep you up to date!

You will stall even when you pass minion! So long as you recover correctly you should be fine. Cosy - DH is always telling me off for being too hesitant as well but I would rather be slower and safer.

Hi everyone, am on nights so hard to keep up, so I'll just give a general hooya, Tits out, fish slaps and keep shagging!

I'm fully into the contraband of opk testing now not sorry as it's my second cycle after mc so trying to pin point OV, seems it was early and has been missed spectacularly as no dtd for the last week Very annoying as would have given a much longer lp than I've had previously. On the plus side I've started to shivvy up OH on what he should doing, no hot baths over OV week (he didn't realise this was bad ), it seems that my assumption that he'd done his own research ttc over the last 12 months was wrong

At least it means dtd for the next two weeks will be for fun!

Thanks for all the kind welcomes guys, feeling really loved .

Cosy - it's funny you should say that you guys often fall off the wagon...I'm kinda expecting to be sucked in at some point but it's always nice to have someone to talk to in the meantime when it happens and hen we can compare notes :p.

About me: I'm 23, been engaged to OH for just over 2 years (planning the wedding for 2016), obviously TTC (duh!). We have a doggy - Oscar, currently snoozing on my lap as I type - who is a a Lab x Collie and I'm training him up to be an unofficial service/assistance dog. Might be fostering a real life assistance dog puppy or a police dog puppy soon (excited muchly!). I have a horse too...LOVE HER :-D.

Beetle - get a dog. Dogs are awesome. Go on, you know you want to!

Hey Juniper (waves).

Minion - bless you. Did you manage to go for a wee eventually? Don't worry about driving, it will come naturally soon. As for stalling, I do that on a regular basis...generally when I'm not paying attention LOL.

Dulcet - I'm intrigued...do keep us in the loop.

Couldn't help but laugh at "tits out, fish slap" from MissHobart. Dog is giving me evils now as I've woken him up by laughing, but it was too funny :p.
LOL at your OH's 'research' or lack of. Sounds like something my OH would do! Men, eh?

Wish I could leave a message for AF and tell her to bugger off already! Granted she's stopped making me feel like someone is pulling my insides out, but can she please bog off so I can pounce on OH again...don't know if I want to wait a while week before DTD!!! Hmph. Suppose I'll console myself with more .

hi guys. just a quick check in. feeling . as dB and sil have just announced bump to the world on fb. made worse by my mum posting on there how excited she is to be having her second gc.

anyhoo...just wanted to add a few thoughts on ppls posts but forgive me for not remembering who posted what...

hot baths aren't just bad in ov week, sperm are made up to 3 months in advance. keep the danglies as cool as possible at all times.

I'm not a dog lover so I can't advocate getting a dog, but as a compromise I'd suggest a guide dog puppy. if you become a puppy walker for 12months you only have short term commitment to a dog for potential looming pgcy and you can see if having a dog is really for you at the sane time as helping someone regain their independence. my mum works for guide dogs and I've been amazed to see how their work changes lives.

dulcet you need to POAS! just to be sure. there have been many before you who have had "AF" while pg.

spotti not sure if I've said hi yet so, "hi"

right back to feel sorry for myself for the night. promise I'll be better tomorrow.

Ah Dulcet treat yourself to a pack of internet cheapie pee sticks, you get 20 for something like £3, so POAS becomes a matter of routine... not sure if that's a good thing, but hey.

Spotti Might be fostering a real life assistance dog puppy or a police dog puppy soon that's it, I'm officially jealous of you. I'm a dog loving freak. I have a German Shepherd who I'm actually in love with, and DPs little deaf boxer who I've grown to love, as she's a little weirdo in a good way.

As for assuming Men do their research... hah! Most do their ostrich impression, head in the sand and hope the scary fertility talk goes away...! Sorry men, but it's true.

Lil sorry you're feeling shit about the bump announcement, I can imagine how that would sting. hope you feel better.

Oi you lot I'm trying to be sensible!
I lost the love of my like right before xmas a lab who was my world. She lived with my parents in her old age and had a wonderful life. I agree dogs make life better but we are out such a lot and losing her was the hardest moment of my life.

Anyway on to other more cheery stuff!
Hi spotti welcome x

Cosy I have no idea what the hell is going on but no period and right now if I had of had one I should be icing . So we Dtd the other day just for shits and giggles which was a refreshing change. Well it was till I got cystisis!!!!!

My period is on vacation somewhere nice I hope. What if she never comes back?! She is 14 days late! But after stupid bleed mid cycle maybe that was it.

Oh well DH is putting out in Tupperware on fri so one job done!

Ps I want a bloody dog !

Dutifully POAS but no sniff of a line. Just a blip month I guess. So annoying it had to be this month though. Best get my cape back on.

Sorry to hear about DB lil. I mean great for him but sorry for you. Will be a long few months for you but be kind to yourself.

So sorry to hear about your dog beetle. I lost my old boy cat in November and it was heartbreaking. Had him since I was 6 and just find it hard to think he's not there anymore. We did get a kitten at Christmas though to keep our other cat company and help take mind of TTC. She does a good job of it actually most of the time, until I start holding her like a baby and wishing thats what she was.

until I start holding her like a baby and wishing thats what she was Oh bloody hell, I do that not with cats though, scared they'll claw my eyes out or something

Went to visit a colleague's new puppy the other day, and I was cradling her and carrying her around like a baby. I got paranoid that people would look at me and sound off the 'Scary old barren woman who might steal the puppy' alert while gently prying her from my arms!!

Sorry to hear you got a BFN Dulcet another one to chalk down to the list of annoying quirks your body throws at you just when you think you've got it figured out.

Well I thought I'd have no chance this month as I was supposed to be going away with work at the end of this week, right over icing time. Now my trip has been cancelled (hooray!), so perhaps the fertility fairies are transpiring to keep me in the right place at the right time...

I've just started temping contraband, don't tell me off and this morning DP was so sweet, helping me with my thermometer while I was half asleep, and laughing at me with it stuck in my gob. He's got no idea what it means, but he's trying to help.

And sorry to Beetle and Dulcet about losing your beloved pets. We lost a dog last year, then my other gorgeous doggie very nearly died but pulled through. Why do we put ourselves through it eh? I'm currently pining after gorgeous rescue dogs that need rehoming.. I think it's a symptom of my broodiness. I AM that scary barren woman who might steal puppies!!!

Oh, sorry about the pets. I've never had "proper" pets before and do worry about my cats when it's time. :(

cosy which thermometer do you have? I tried to do temping years ago but because I'm so bleary in the morning and have a bad visual impairment I found it really hard to read the temp and note it. Is there such a thing as a thermometer that stores your temp for the day so you can go back and write it down? My other problem is that my normal temp is really low and not on any charts!

Feeling a lot more cheerful today, keep going girls. xx