You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Evening all,
thanks for the solidarity & thanks for the hair strokes octobear!

It is good I'm more annoyed than emotional, though I guess part of that is having given up just a bit...

Hooyas to those who need them but also fanning those embers of positivity, we've got to keep hoping, just a little bit eh?

Enjoy your donut misshobart!

My body is mocking me mercilessly - CD6 and feeling exhausted and sick all the time. I know this game and it's playing at entirely the wrong time. Guess I am coming down with something but I'd rather just get the vomiting done with rather than this stupid sicky feeling. Grrr. On the bright side, we got the cape on today and did it "properly" rather than doing it for TTC. So that was quite fun, plus it was midday so I did a virtual two fingers up to everyone who was pissing me off last night, probably drudging round the zoo with a dirty nappy to deal with. Afternoon delight here! ;)

I'm 29, ttc nr 1 and no other sprogs.

hi all. I don't think gutter talk will offend this lot!

after reading the queries on mins post I had to laugh cos I read it all like it was normal English words, breadsticks and all!

bear sounds like you have some promising symptoms. I have everything crossed for you. going to send a mini hooya and tell you to try and take your mind off it until AF is due. you know its best to test after you are due so its pointless wondering and torturing yourself now. I'm hoping this is the reason in the master plan that is life for your referral being delayed

cd8 here and the witch is finally gone for another month or hopefully 9! but won't be jumping dh just yet. as I ice late we don't start until cd10 earliest otherwise we've both just had enough by the time cd22 which is usual icing day comes around. but you lit enjoy your sheshagenans

Mornin' y'all. did not dtd felt sick after lots of christmas leftover choc and donuts. fyi one of them was a ring donut GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! We didn't do what you're thinking ha ha

Now, correct me if I'm wrong. But I believe gutter talk is positively encouraged here!
So crack on!
Well I went to bed last night with the sorest breadsticks known to man. Husband was getting quite miffed at not being able to 'tune the radio' and excited that they were so sore.
However on waking, they've gone down a bit and not as sore..until I was up and about and they are back.
So guess ERTD won't be showing up today, but in 4 days time!
,
Great

looks like I won't be joining and copters soon. got embarrassingly drunk on Friday and we had a terrible row, in a pub in front of friends etc. we're just about talking but I think it will be a long time before he loves me again like he did. why does things like this happen? We were so good together then the evil drink ... well I have to take responsibility for my actions I know. I just hate myself right now. I think I have lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I am not here for sympathy but I have no one to talk to and I feel so alone.
I have raging ovulation pains and know this would have been the month had I have not screwed up.
Sorry for bringing shame on the thread.

Oh no saznut hope you can work things out
bear & minion fx for you both
To all the rest of you filthy minded lot thank you! I've had a shit day at work & catching up on this thread has put a back on my face.
Hello to all the newbies you seem to be fitting in nicely!

I'm on day 8 of the TWOT waiting for AF symptoms to start kicking in or not
Happy shagging shaggers

Saznut - Poor you, I'm sure you'll be able to sort it out. Sometimes getting it all out is the best thing, especially during all the mental ttc! Once everything has settled down maybe looking into going to Relate, my friend and her OH went for a year and it's the best thing they've ever done relationship wise, they also had their baby last week! So there is hope but everyone needs help! Sending you love and hope!

Good evening Ladeeees. I hope everyone's Monday wasn't too much of a arse ache ? I'm relieved that 'gutter' level is the accepted form of communication in this chat room, I really do struggle to string a clean sentence together.

Eek. My first mumsnet post... Totally not in with the cool kids enough to try any fancy JSing lingo yet but popping in to join those in TWOT: this month we have removed the goalie and are hoping naively that first time's a charm!

Should I do one of these wee profile things?!
Name: Binglesplodge
Age: 32
TTC #1 since: January 2014 (optimistic or what?!)
Cape: duvet held round shoulders. It's bloody cold here.

AF isn't due until about the 7th of Feb so I'm going to try not to drive myself mad symptom spotting between now and then.

Good luck: let's hope the new year has brought lots of good news with it.

So tired - work drink thingy - why oh why do women ask you - do u want children ?!!!!!
WTf am Meant to say !
Say yes and they'll look for my replacement . Say no and I'll be the kiddie hater!
Say ttc or can't and then your in another pigeon hole !
Aggghhg!

ahh beetle you're damned if you do and damned if you don't! I usually say "one day" then turn my back and swear under my breath!

so much new blood around here lately...and loving the duvet cape binglesplodge! I may have to copy this when the jsing starts tomorrow!

saz I hope your OK. try and get conversation going. apologise for what you know you did wring and explain the things you felt were valid in a more sober constructive way. I'm sure things will sort themselves out when you've both has time to calm down. and love doesn't just 'go' after one argument. the hard stuff is part of a relationship, without it the good stuff wouldn't seem as good. PS what was "joining and copters" meant to be...did I miss new lingo?!

Oh ladies, I'm in such a foul mood!! Still one more week of TWOT and I don't feel even remotely pregnant-ish. Not even sore breadsticks and I can usually make that symptom at least appear by prodding them!
And yet another friend has fallen pregnant I know that I'm getting bitter now because she really deserves it, and although I'm happy for her, I'm also massively pissed off!! The only thing (bizarrely) making me feel better is that she's a year older than me. So it's more acceptable to my silly TTC obsessed brain!
Sigh.

Welcome binglesplodge
Settle in, pull up a comfy armchair and eat loads of Jaffa cakes with us!

So symptom spotting (even though there is no chance I am this month) is still going strong here. Breadsticks haven't stopped hurting, it's been pretty consistent lately and this may be tmi but whatevs, I've not gone 'dry' and I've been having rather loose you know what's and very bottom birpey..
So I consulted dr goofle and in all his almighty wisdom, he says congratulations you're pg or have ibs.
So that sweet of him.

Part of me (ok, most of me) would like to think one little swimmer hung around after I shut up shop and was the first shopper of the day but if I can't get upduffed by actually doing it on the day previously, then this isn't likely.
Suppose I'll know in 3 days time anyhow.

Hello ladies, and welcome binglesplodge (love the name btw). Don't worry about not knowing the lingo yet, we are definitely not the cool gang (sorry, I speak for myself obviously. The rest of you are totally cooler than me obvs!)

I think I'm in the same place as a few of you - into week 2 of the TWOT. I have NO symptoms, and I usually have sore breadsticks by now (is a lack of symptoms a symptom in itself? ). DP is going away on Friday for 5 days. I asked him whether he would want me to tell him if I get a BFP while he's away, and he said no (he's on a lad's holiday), but he said I'm definitely not allowed to tell anyone else before him either. Torture! But then he told me off for getting my hopes up, which is sensible of course.

Just throwing another torture implement into the mix Symptom spotting heaven

I love that website, pretty much any symptom you can think of has occurred in at least some pregnant women... "Feeling hungry? YES, 50% of pregnant women reported feeling hungry.... Breathing? YES... 100% of pregnant women breathed during early pregnancy..!"

Lol @ Ness - Nevermind prodding them I've managed to make then hurt just by thinking about it! and then prodding them

minion you do make me laugh! got everything crossed that Dr goofles pg diagnosis is correct and not his IBS diagnosis!

ness hope ur in a better mood. why is everyone else getting pg ATM?! grr

well u lot are so bad with the symptom spotting I'm almost doing it with you....and I'm not twotting! in fact I'm nowhere near icing! lol

Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better today, just waiting to meet a friend and I have some lovely wine in front of me! Hehe.
Have booked a boozy birthday dinner next Saturday with 10 friends coming, hoping that the law of sod will declare me preggers this weekend so I can have the awkward delight of faking drinking!!!!

Football argument this evening, bloody sport getting in the way of my cape donning. Luckily MOTD isn't on until tomorrow so we can get to it.

Dr Goofle is a lazy doctor. Everything is pregnancy related, or cancer.

That is an excellent temptation for Sod's law nessa, good job!

Beginning to wonder if mumsnet is the place for me. It's all about gin and Jaffa cakes and I don't like either!

I never liked gin until last two years dulcet I think it's a sign of my old age!! And I only like the middle of a Jaffa cake.

I'm still only spotting but bangers are like painful inflatables
:(
DH has booked us a docs app on thurs so at least we can be pro active.

Cosy I'm hungry I reckon I'm pg! Whoop woop!

Beetle! I only like the outside of a Jaffa cake! Let's meet up and scoff a whole pack

Oh that's beautiful - Jaffa cake soul mates! Now I need a quality street tin friend, I only like creams. Anyone going to take my toffees and coconut ones? Yuck!

hi, newbie here!

Liverpool currently winning - v. happy hubby = cape donning time imminent! That's if horrible bloaty-farty feeling goes away.

I'm going to fess up - I haven't a clue what people are talking about half the time when reading posts about TTC. Genuinely no idea what's going on. Hopefully I'll learn as I go along! Who knew this baby-making business was so complicated!

Hi pips I've no idea either really but welcome. I'm a newbie too but they r a nice ( and slightly filthy minded) bunch! Just Enjoy the JSing and don't even ask about the EWCM!! .

Yay ness ! Pop to London I'll get a box!

Dulcet I'll take a toffee but not coconut eeeeugggh! I prefer red sweets if that's the next one and will leave yellow or green till last.

This is more fun than the norm ewcm!

Hey newbies welcome to willy wonkas ( strangely apt ; ) ) !!!