You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

I'll have the coconut ones, but not the hard toffees.... but my favourites are the green triangles . and I love Jaffa cakes, not had one for ages. you lot are bad for my diet.

should be shagging but can't be arsed

Dulcet gin makes me heave, you're not alone.

Dammit Lil you got the coconut ones before me.. I'll take the Coffee ones if I may, they're my faves! But, I must confess, I don't really like chocolate much... don't kick me out!

Welcome pips, you'll learn lots on these boards and be an expert before you know it (or hopefully you'll get your BFP before you need to be an expert!)

My breadsticks have got sore, bang on the usual time, which suggests its' just a normal non preggo cycle for me...

Hi ladies, how is everyone? Just checking in and hoping there will be some more BFPs from the shaggers soon. I had a peek at the pregnancy threads but I am too terrified of them!! In shagging news, DH is complaining that it is not happening often enough since the BFP. OMG they are never happy are they? He was complaining about feeling like a piece of meat before it.

I have fingers crossed and wishing with all my might for some more BFPs for you girls x

Awww hello Latium how are you feeling?

How far along are you now? Any symptoms?

We haven't had any more BFPs since yours, but there are a few viroids on here that are displaying some interesting symptoms, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for them! (not me, I have zero symptoms!)

Go and take the plunge in to the pregnancy threads, you deserve it!

Hello to the newbies. sorry im not usually such a drama queen. We had a massive talk and really cleared the air. one factor of the row was about ttc. We both on the verge of feeling failures and when I added alcohol to it it all came out wrong. good thing is now we both know exactly where we stand and actually brought us both to the idea of maybe getting tested so we at least know one way or another.

unbelievable pains going on so no idea if I'm ov or what, but think the Cape will be hanging on the door a bit longer this month so I think I'll be out this month.
sorry to everyone for my outburst and promise it won't happen again and I'll be jolly lol.
loving Cadbury creme eggs. can't get enough.
never heard of nipples being breadsticks however I have the world's smallest nips so id be more like twiglets.
off out to bingo tonight and the pics tomo to see thst devils due. bit like a date I suppose.
latium it's nice to see you pop up and would love to know how things are going.

good luck with the shagging girls, lets get those numbers up.

ps. have properly given up drink. yay for soda and lime. ..

Sorry beetle, you can't have any red ones. All the red and orange creams are mine. In fact, all red sweets in general are mine. You can have all the purple ones.

I am a bad just shagger ladies. Haven't spoken to DH since last night when he didn't 'seal the deal' IYKWIM... I know I shouldn't blame him really as he was holding out for me when I would rather have had the goods. lol. Classy!

(started writing this about 6 hrs ago so probably loads of messages will appear once i've posted!)

Oo, interesting symptoms sounds promising - good luck to those. And I'm sure you'll get your turn soon Cosy.

I am 8 weeks now (midwife says it is not that unusual to get your BFP at 6 weeks like me so have hope all those when the ERTD is missing in action). Symptoms-a-rama here - feeling v v nauseous and very large sore boobies which DH would be delighted about were he allowed to touch them / go anywhere near them.

Wishing the best of luck shaggers. Might venture back over to the pregnancy threads and just avoid the ones that make me worry. It turns out you just transfer the worry about TTC to worry about the pregnancy / the symptoms etc etc!!

I'm another trying not to get the fear from the Pregnancy threads: the way I'm looking at it, people having a nice easy time of it probably don't bother to make a post about it so you're more likely to hear stories from people who are feeling horrific. At least that's how I'm choosing to make myself feel better...

Same with some of the parenting threads, actually: sometimes I read posts about all the difficulties people are having and I have to remind myself that if you are having a lovely normal day you probably don't go out of your way to boast about it!

I reckon we should all meet up one day with our dc's....our "sign" to each other should be capes and a box of jaffa cakes

She showed up a day early.
Wot a wench! Onwards viroids, onwards

Oh bugger Minion sorry to hear that!!
Great idea Rach - we can all give each other friendly punches on the arm too!
I am at the point of the month when I am convinced that I am pregnant, and it's only a matter of time before a BFP Everything is a symptom, and I want to pee on anything that moves!! Viroids, I need you to talk me down - no POAS until Sunday morning!!!

ugh minion she's a total bitch. I was feeling really positive for you this month
nessa fx you're the next bfp then, but mini hooya in the meantime but feel free to poas just in case

Stupid stupid witch!
Witch must be stuck - def bleeding but nothing like normal (tmi warning) and brown not red. Ran yesterday to grab something and my boobs are so painful so def witches influence so wish she d bloody appear !
So bloated and fat feeling and have docs at half ten and then a bloody appraisal for which I have nought as laptop kept crashing tonight - fun day ;)

Bugger minion that's rubbish x

Rach we should def all meet up esp with confectionary and sneaky booze!

Evening ladies. Sorry for those of u currently cursed with the evil witch. She has just left me and I do not wish to entertain her for another 9 months or so!!!! Still not got my head round the icing thing and when to dtd so just going with the flow. Feeling like donning the cape tonight, just coz I want to, however we r both still working so not looking likely tonight . Still u never know. Damn this working from home!!! Hope you are all keeping your chins up and shagging til the cows come home!!!

Hi lovelies, just popping in! Lots of talk of cake and donuts, yum . I was feeling completely cranky, mean, unreasonable and miserable last week so I steered clear of pretty much everyone (in real life, too, so don't take it personally, ha). DH and I had a "rebalancing" weekend where we did absolutely nothing and that helped a ton.

Started injections again this week. Feeling great actually, no side effects; it is just a pain to coordinate as I have morning and evening shots this time around, and they have to be as close to 12 hours apart from one another as possible.

I love keeping up with your sexcapades (and symptom spotting - feeling hopeful for everyone in waiting).

bingles that's a good way of looking at the horror stories from pregnant ladies and parents. I sort of take the same approach when I see a bad reviews for something. How many people with opposite experiences just didn't ever think to share? It's more natural to be motivated to complain about something than to say, "This is swell" or "How nice."

Ach sorry to hear some of you are out, I had high hopes with some of the symptoms you were experiencing!

Lovely to hear from you Red, hope the injections are ok. 'Rebalancing weekend' sounds lovely, I could do with one of those!

I'm in full symptom spotting hell too Nessa - and I POAS this morning.. it was BFN of course. I'm either 9 or 14 DPO if I go by the two peaks in EWCM that I had. More likely to be the later peak really, so I'm probably only 9DPO.

My symptoms are - sore boobs, which I get this time of the month every month, and IBS, which I get before ERTD every month... so no real symptoms really.

Convinced myself I could taste a metallic taste in my mouth this morning... but I think that's just wishful thinking!

DP is going away tomorrow, and if I get a BFP while he's away I don't want to tell him by skype, while he's sitting with his mates... so I'll have to put those pee sticks away until he gets back, which is no bad thing really.

I hate the doctor . I dislike my husband right now. I am really angry and mainly loathe myself.

So doctor was - a woman - great - pregnant not so much!
It seemed to sting even more when she kept mentioning my age. I know I am 37 I fucking know!
So period still stuck so she said Poas in a few days.
Hubby has to send his junk off for testing and I get two lots of blood tests which for a needle phobic is peachy.
Of and have to pee in jar to test for chlamydia.

Her final blow was that at my age I would not get free ivf.

Wanted to scream fuck u and your ivf I'm getting Botox a dog and lots of holidays.

How can it not be free when I have worked my ass off all my life never been into hospital rarely been to the docs and always paid ni. I want to cry. I don't think I could cope with ivf but would have liked the option and whilst I could get the money I don't think I should have to.

Yesterday I saw a woman with 3 under 6. They were crying. She turned round and screamed - what the fucking hell is wrong with u ? We go to fuckjng school every fucking day so why are you fucking crying! I am probably paying for those kids that she doesn't even care to be civil to and yet if I can't have any that's just tough.

So right now I hate the whole world and though I don't have much time for god he too is in the dog house as if he did exist I would question his fairness.

Oh and then had fight with husband as I kept telling him I m old and we need to try and he didn't listen . It even took him years to propose. But now everyone has it down as my fault.

Sorry all on train to work and really just want to sob in bed x

Here's a hand to hold Beetle

What the GP has advised for you is the standard first step in fertility investigations, so that's good. It's progress.

As for not being eligible for IVF on the NHS. Me neither. Because my DP has had a vasectomy, then got it reversed, and now has better than average sperm count.

I have never been in hospital, never cost the NHS anything, and am not to blame for the poor choice my DP made with his first partner. In actual fact, he's saved the state money by not conceiving any unwanted children with her in the first place. And I actually blame the NHS for doing it, what GP would perform a vasectomy on a 25 year old unmarried man with no kids? But if we struggle to conceive, with his 'fantastic' sperm count, so it would almost certainly be down to my own issues - then no, we're not eligible either.

But if DP had killed his sperm by smoking, over eating, and drinking alcohol, we would be eligible. Fantastic.

On the plus side - the waiting lists for IVF can be quite long, so at least if you know you would have to go private, you can get it done quite quickly and call the shots about when and where.

But don't write yourself off yet - chin up love, you'll feel better later.

oh beetle sending you a massive hug. I am so sorry the meeting made you feel like that.

Fingers crossed that ERTD is delayed due to a latium-style BFP! The unfairness does make it so hard to take, doesn't it. xxx

I have gp tomo and DH having SA in a fortnight so ball rolling here. Oh, and acupuncture booked for like cd1 of next cycle so just got to wait and see what happens. Lots of cape action will be required this weekend...possibly not in the spirit of the thread but I already can't be bothered!

Morning (it is, here in cancun, I'm not just mega lazy) (ish).
So it's def ERTD and to rub it into the wound she's actually 2 days early... Keen or what?
Maybe she has a date or something?
Ah I'm sorry beetle, that's gash. I'm here with a bag of whatever tickles your fancy to make it slightly more bearable.x

Oh, hang on. I've got a good'un, hopefully it'll make you smile!
Every time if log onto this Fred on my phone only a smidge of the title shows up to begin with.
And it generally says ' you can do it by charting, anal...'
Then I giggle to myself and think 'ahhh so that's where we are all going wrong'!
Hehehe x

Minion my friends flew to Cancun yesterday, maybe you were on their flight?!

at "anal..."

OK I'm obsessing about the metallic taste in my mouth now. I woke up with this funny taste, and it's getting stronger. But it's not that metallic, I've consulted Dr Goofle and he says that people who experience this in early pregnancy say it's like sucking on a copper coin, or a piece of aluminium. It's definitely not that strong for me, it's more like a salty, too much tea kind of metallic-ness. I'm over thinking it I know.....

Also have new tablets for my dog, which say "Do not handle if pregnant"... DP is away from tomorrow, I think i'll have to use a rubber glove just in case!

cosy if it was from gatwick travelling with folks who have 'heart' then yes they probably were, however I hope they weren't any of the ones we had to 'handle' throughout!
I too get the metallic taste.
Every goddam month before ERTD. It's a sharp bloody taste, always disappears a day or two into it.
Vile.

My friends flew from MAN, so you're safe!

So you get the metallic taste every month? Interesting. I've never had it before, it's getting worse - although it's more of a salty brine taste, like I've gargled with seawater.

I've just tried a cup of strong tea to try and kill it, and it's made it worse...

Must. Stop. Obsessing.. someone give me a cold, hard Hoooya!

um the DR's surgery just phoned dh to arrange for Dr to call and phone about his results. got to wait until Monday grrr. anyone else had this and if so what was the outcome?

Sorry about the IVF woos beetle and cosy. I don't know much about the process behind it but the doc told me you have to try at least 3 yrs before getting on the list even so it wouldn't make it any quicker for you by that reckoning. And beetle - those tests are completely normal and standard practice. A lot of us have had to do it.

I was able to get my DH results lil but I wouldn't read too much into them arranging to talk to him. They would need to discuss the results either way.

Letter for ultrasound came today. Not til May though. So much waiting in this TTC malarkey!