You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Yep I'm TWOTting. Tired and ill as well to add to the fun here.

OMG you guys move too fast for me, I can't keep up.

I think I need a hooya. I'm soooooo thirsty. Could that be a sign?

hooya to you Essie

although I keep forgetting what it means

I'm on twot !!! Except not as bled randomly for 6 days after period so two weeks of nothing twon I think you'd call it.

I'm twotting... have our cycles become synchronized by the power of hormones through our screens?

Just eaten my daily pineapple - but I'm pissed off now as I googled it and it said that while the core contains the good stuff to aid implantation, the rest of it is too acidic and you shouldn't eat it. I've been eating the whole slice.. I bloody give up, Twas nice though!

Cosy - that's what I said to pretty much everything! "I give up!!" Currently sticking to folic acid and limited caffeine, nothing else as it was driving me fucking mad!

Ha synced via screen !
The ertd due 28th tues and bang in the middle of leadership training - nice one!

Been and, typically saw someone I knew when in the waiting room so that will be awkward! Doctor was nice but spoke in a really pitying way.

DH is fine, in fact in two areas he's better than average so he's chuffed. Did you know that the average male has 95% abnormal sperm! Crazy. He also got complimented on the amount he produced which was said to be high.

I on the other hand have levels that indicate not ovulating. Have a bunch of further blood tests to do, most of which I did today since I was at the hospital anyway. Got to do another 21day test and have another appointment in may which feels aggggges away!

Not feeling great about it all actually, not sure why. Add me to the pity bouncy castle!

Stay positive dulcet. its a step towards answers and the end goal. I may be joining u on the pity bouncy castle soon though as my results die any day

Sending PMA to dulcet!
We're all in the same boat huh. At least my boat buddies are ace!
So when he said you weren't OV'ing did you tell him you had OV signs? Or don't you?

Dulcet - that's good news about DH's sperm. It could be for you that just didn't ovulate the month that you did the test maybe? Most women have anovulatory cycles every now and then. It could be that the test was done at the wrong time perhaps? But if there is a problem with you not ovulating, there's lots they can do to help. Lil is right that it's a step closer to an answer. I know May seems like ages away but it will come round quickly enough. It's nearly Feb already.

May better come quickly, that's when I'll be on holiday , I'll wish the months away with you dulcet

Thanks ladies. I do know, objectively, that you are completely right. Just tough today. I was so positive before we went in but now I just feel a bit 'why me?' Blah blah.

I do have the signs and have had the sticks which I told him but those don't mean I actually do. Another 21day test is to look at anovulation I guess, and double check. Then testosterone test, look for PCOS, clamydia blood test even though I had the urine test. There's about 5 in total. Phew!

I think it is seeing someone I knew there plus the guys voice. I know he has to be quite solemn but made me feel like a bit of a pathetic case!

Thanks lil! At least they let me make the appointment then so I have a date - not waiting for a letter.

What test results you waiting for now? I lose track sometimes!

my 21 day bloods and dhs sa. she said mine would be in end of this week/beginning of next so may phone tomorrow. dhs results due by next Thursday. I HATE the waiting. I am so nor a patient person! good that you have a date booked. helps focus the mind!

Yeah, phone tomorrow for sure lil. Our SA results were back really quick so they might surprise you!

Hey there viroids!

Lots of chat to catch up!

Sorry you're feeling blah Dulcet, but I'll join the PMA crowd - it's the first step on the ladder to getting sorted ASAP!

Minion - you crack me up It was the 'silent witness' bit that got me today, just had a proper giggling fit!

I'm impressed with your sexcapades Bear! We managed 5 too this month, though two were waaaay out of the OV zone, so only three really...
I think we definitely got them at the right time though!

I'm also TWOTing, though only just. Pretty sure that I have a fairly short luteal phase - after my last go at TTC I'd noted that my LP was 11 days, but this time round I didn't believe myself and put 14 in my App, but lo and behold, positive OV stick followed by two days of EWCM right around day 16/17, so looks like past-Ness was right after all!

We DTD on days 11, 15 & 17, so feel like we have a decent chance... So I'm due a BFP AF on 2nd Feb.
God, it's so tedious this trying to get pregnant lark it's like the slowest lottery EVER.

In other news, I've found some awesome pre-natal vitamins that I love - Seven Seas 'Trying for a baby'. They're v.reasonable price (£5 for 30 ish) and laid out like the pill with named days so you don't miss, and they're also about the same size as the pill, and you don't have to take them with food! So easy to remember and easy to take. Hurrah! Some supplements are like swallowing bullets!

ness I uses the seven seas ones to they are fab!

hello fellow shaggers!!!

How are we all? Any BFP's to report? I am proper bored today.........

nothing to report here. still trying to kick the witch out. less of a tide and more if a leaky tap that won't stop here grrr. and to make things worse the doctors surgery 'can't view that screen until after 2pm' to tell me if my blood test results are back. what utter bollocks!

Hi newbie here so apologies if I get the acronyms wrong! Been lurking for a while and love the banter. TTC #1 and the old witch AF has just put in an appearance. This was our first month of trying and I hadn't been tracking my period until last month so thought I was late and stupidly got a bit excited (blush). I've been using a multitude of apps to track my period and suggest when I'm fertile but they all tell me something different. Any suggestions? I feel like I may go down the slippery slope of charting and temping and, to my horror, have even googled the whole EWCM thing ewwwwww! I need you viroids to save me from going crazy with this!!

hi babynugget you've come to the right place! sorry the witch turned up. grab a and get comfy

Hi baby nugget - don't go charting you will go crazy! It looks like a full time job!

help please viroids. if the receptionist read the right numbers my progesterone level at 8dpo was 40. The result according to the note on my file is "satisfactory". what does satisfactory mean and is 40 a good enough level?

dhs results not back yet. bloody NHS!

Blows my mind! Don't think I have the time or energy to keep up! I do need to track my period better though but the apps just confuse me !