You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Hey viroids. How's everyone doing?

Sorry to have been AWOL for so long but work just gets on the way. Have lots to catch up on. Congrats on the BFPs to those who got them.

As for me viroids, I'm so so . A close friend announced her pregnancy today. She knows our problems and did it really tactfully but I can't help but feel bitter and angry about my own situation. She's a few years younger than me and told me she was trying for 5 months. I'm so hacked off at it never being me. Rage, rage and more rage. Anyway, I came on here to ask if anyone has any advice for me. I feel like I'm going mad now. Oh yes and forgot to say our referral has been held up by 3 months due to an admin error. Angry doesn't even cut it. So, basically I'm feeling like I'm never going to hold my own baby in my arms and I feel like I'm losing my way. I don't know what to do about careers or anything because I'm in a constant limbo and have been for 3 years. How on earth do I manage to cope? Plus, I don't want to lose my friend but I do tend to keep a distance once they have children because I find it so painful. Any advice viroids? Thanks. From Weepy

Hello!
Name: Wharm14
Age: 36
DC's: Does my DH count?
TTC: Only just started this month after getting married last month!
Cape: Fur lined, warm and cream!

I was looking for a fun thread to join to share in the experience of tic and just found this which made me laugh out loud so thought this was the one for me! Currently waiting for AF to arrive (or not) on 31st Jan and trying not to do DH head in, so hope this thread will keep me grounded!

oh bear It's so hard. Sorry you are feeling .

Welcome wham hope you get your bfp soon

Hey bear, I'm sorry it's all getting you down

I haven't been doing this as long as you, but despair strikes all of us occasionally, and we all go through times when we feel like this is never going to happen. And it's even harder when it seems to come so easy for people around us in RL.

But don't let it drag you down - it WILL happen for you. Now they've figured out the admin cock-up, you're gonna get a referral, and you're going to have a team of experts to get you upduffed, and it'll all start to move forward. Look how quick it all went for Red once the ball started rolling!

You have to keep believing that this is your year, because it really really could be! xxxx

bear

hugs and more hugs.
I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry you are upset and angry

thanks viroids. dh did go out and get me lemsip, and stuffed homemade toblerine cheesecake this evening mmmm.

good luck at the drs minion
beetle if it were a miscarriage surely you could do a hot now and there would be hcg in your system to show it? just a thought to rule it in or out.

furry glad to hear you got dh on-side (ha ha) for now at least!

well new cycle new tactics. this will be cycle 13, maybe it will be my lucky number!

Hi bear, so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. My advice would be to try and keep your friends. I know it's really hard when it seems like others are moving on and doing what you would love to but you're not. We all do things at different stages and your time will surely come too. And we need our friends round us. Good friends will understand your feelings and want to keep you round in whatever way works for you. It sounds like your friend is sensitive to your feelings which is a good start. I wish you all the best x

hi bear, I hope you had a restful evening and night, I thought about what you said a lot last night.

xx

Oops, didn't finish my post. I have PM'd you bear.

Looks like I'm out for this month, more BFNs and bleeding starting. GRRR.
So, next month is GP and giving fertility acupuncture a go.

Also, is it just me or is this "sperm lives for days" thing a crock of shit? We did it SO MUCH I can't believe it didn't catch anything! Maybe it was a rubbish egg. Hey ho, wine o clock tonight. What a perfect start to the week!

bear I missed your post last light, my phone can't have updated properly. sorry you are feeling so down at the minute. all I can say is if I were in your shoes I wouldn't stand for a 3month hold up from someone else's error. id be at the gps demanding assistance getting it sorted, I'd be in the fertility clinic making loud informal and formal complaints. can you afford to have hsg done privately? that would be one less thing to be done when the referral does go through. I assume you've had day 21 bloods and said done? if not demand that from the go. mine ordered it on the computer and we did mine on the next day "21" and booked dhs after I ovd. I had his first appointment booked for 3days after the phone call. one thing I do know is you have to fight the down days because if they spiral into depression your chances will be hinder further. its not a nice place to be when all your friends seem to be getting there first. but you are not alone. I know we haven't been here as long as you, but a few of us have been here for a while riding this wave with you, and you know we are always here to catch you when you fall. I know its not in the spirit of the Fred, but how much contraband have you done? is it worth stepping that up so you feel like you are taking some control and doing something proactive?

*sa not said!

oh I forgot, on the friend front, don't let it ruin your relationships. as much as it hurts I'm sure you are happy for your friend, and pleased she didn't have to suffer the pain you have. one day you will have your baby in your arms. you will want your friends there to share the magic with. if you alienate them all now they won't be there then. if she knows your trouble explain to her you are happy for her but ask her to keep pg talk to a minimum where possible.

and don't put your life in hold. I lost my job, havent worked for 3 months and have no plans to find one, despite the fact we put off TTC so that I was in a stable job for 2 years before I would have been telling them I was pg. if you change jobs and then get pg, you won't care about the job! you'll still get the sane pay on maternity allowance as you would SMP (and ma is tax free where SMP is taxed!) so don't let money be the worry. not living your life will only make you more crazy.

OK I think I'm done.

Hi everyone,

Bear - hope you're feeling a bit better, I'm sorry it's getting you down. If it helps, you can rant all you like on here and we'll never judge you for being pissed off that your friend is pg.

Wharm welcome to the thread - it's not always so melancholy, we promise! I've learned lots on here, and it's a great place to vent. Who else would listen to regular reports on how my cervical mucus is doing!?

it's doing good by the way, I put it down to grapefruit juice

Bear your day will come I'm sure xxx
It's really hard - we all have someone who just knocks em out in five mins and it's hard to take.
I have a sister who does everything first and fast and is younger !

Lillady a few people have said perhaps it could be mc but I did test at xmas before period and got a negative - period was a tiny bit short but normal.
Another thing - tmi warning - my cervix feels odd- I have been ttc all month and now it feels soft and squishy - sorry I did warn you! It never feels like this normally !
Plus had cervical m which is def odd.
I even google imaged bleeding between periods - was hoping for medical stuff but was shocked some women have uploaded pics of panty liners- !
Ps. I am not in the habit of poking around but read that you should check so did a few time but it always seemed the same though higher lower and forgot when so gave up!

Registered wth new doc practise today so will get an app ASAP as I just want to know what is faulty and if we can't I'm getting a dog ! And then adopting later ! I just can't see us coping with ivf and I have never been of the mind set that a child is a god given right or certainty. My DH would like to adopt although tech after having one first. I just worry that my clock that hasn't uttered a tick yet will wait till I'm 40 and boom at me for not persevering and turn me into a cray women!
I'm tech on the twot but after having a foof nose bleed for 6 days I think I can call myself out!

Happy Monday to all shaggers xx

Ps welcome wharm x

Ps welcome wharm x

1974rach/CosyTeaBags - Thanks for the welcome, I'm sure I'll learn loads, I've already been googling all the abbreviations for stuff and learnt a lot already! My DH gets a bit freaked out when I start telling him what my CM is up to, so glad I'll get to share on here maybe instead…!

Bear - I can sympathise, although we've only just started trying, I've been broody for years but job/lack of bloke etc didn't make it possible. I was engaged for 18 months and desperately wanted to start trying but cause I started a new job last year, had to wait or else I wouldn't qualify for Maternity Pay. The wedding and length of time in the job coincided last Oct so we decided to wait until after the wedding before we started trying. Then my SIL just announced that she was 7 weeks pregnant right after we got married (they waited to tell us till we got back off honeymoon) so I'm now torn between been over the moon for them and really jealous that they beat us to it! I hope you can sort the mix up out soon, I agree with some of the other posters about going back to your GP to try and sort it out. Good luck with it all.

Thanks beetlehope!

Thanks everyone. Cervix gate continues today with my frigging useless GP writing me a thoroughly inappropriate referral letter, wittering on about wanting to get sorted so I can proceed with fertility treatment! Errr, no, I want to get sorted so I can have a good go at actually conceiving naturally first you complete tool. My insurance doesn’t cover fertility treatment so if they see this letter they’ll try and wiggle out of paying for the cervical surgery. Luckily I have managed to intercept the letter before it got that far and am now waiting for her to call me back so I can ask her nicely to write me another one.

Oh , bearhugs, it’s so hard. I hope you are ok. The despair is just so painful and so lonely sometimes, and when admin errors and various other insensitive idiots are just adding to it, it’s leaves you feeling hopeless. I have felt exactly the same these last few weeks. Sad and bitter and useless. I know you are further along this road than I am, but keep going, you can do this, and you will do this. You are not alone. I know I can’t do anything real to help, but rant anytime you want, I’m here anytime you need a virtual paw hold. Xx

Sorry to everyone who’s being tortured by the evil witch. Has anyone tried the new feminax? I’ve just bought a packet as since my cervix closed (obviously not entirely!), ERTD has been absolute agony (a symptom apparently), so I thought I’d try something stronger than nurofen. It’s got naproxen in it – I’ve never taken that before?

Welcome Wham!

Sorry I meant Wharm

How's it gone at the docs today minion?

Oh bear, so sorry to read that you are so down but it's completely understandable/ It's hard to really offer advice in this situation because it is so personal and really none of us have perfected how to get through TTC unscarred by emotions. But I guess the only think I try to remember (and that is try because it doesn't always work) is that other peoples fertility doesn't affect yours. It doesn't stop it feeling completely unfair but just know that 100 of your friends could get pregnant or none of them could and that won't have any impact on whether you can or can't get pregnant. To be honest though, that probably won't make you feel better but hopefully can help you continue to have a relationship with your friend/s when they get pregnant and have babies. Oh, and I would completely be complaining about an admin error adding 3 months. That is not your problem, it's theirs so they need to sort it!

I have said all of the above by stepping away from my own emotions by the way, feeling pretty crappy about it all myself this week so completely understand!

Welcome wharm, sounds like you've experienced some of the highs and lows already but hopefully you can get your BFP soon!

Essie - they aren't making it easy for you, are they? Nightmare!!

It's not till 5:30 tonight so fingers crossed.
Husband just came home for a little afternoon delight. Shame he can't manage it when I'm OV'ing huh.

TMI ALERT

Good grief....pant snot ahoy here! Where the bloody hell does it come from !?! (Do not say fanjo...)

Am going for the NORWICH approach tonight. Cape is well and truly on tonight

What the hell is the Norwich approach?!

Did you do anything different to encourage the pant snottage rach? I'm guzzling water and grapefruit juice to try and help.

Norwich approach?! What the bejesus is that? Haha