You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

can I ask why transport swimmers between boobs??

To keep them happy, of course. It has been scientifically proven that swimmers perform better when kept in view of a pair of boobs. Something to do with the pheromones helping them stay active....

Or it could be something to do with keeping them at room temperature ...

Viroids, I'm sorry for my radio silence. Fell off the log and actually still only just clinging to a flimsy stick now. Cervix-gate continues, I won't bore you all with the grim details, but suffice it to say, I am not up the duff, and they are still using words like 'mutilated' and 'stenosed' when they talk about it. After the last appointment when the consultant too closely resembled dreamboat charlie, and was even wearing a cravat, and was rude and wouldn't answer my questions, or do the procedure they'd written to me to tell me they were doing, I have been and wailed at my GP who is now trying to refer me somewhere else for some more specialist attention.

Anyway, sorry I did bore you with it in the end! pokey out tongue emoticon

How are we all? Any BFPs? I have been awol since December, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Hi to all the noobees. Any of my old friends still here? Hoping not if it means you've all got bfps while I've been drinking too much gin sorting my head out.

Love xxx

cosy I think you mean body temperature it has to stay at body temperature and get to the lab within an hour of ... um....collection! lots of ppl on here had said they stuffed it in their bra, I'm not one to argue, so I just followed their instructions! (thanks girls )

Essie I have been wondering where you'd gone! think we've got 3bfps since new year - wagga cookie and Latium if I'm not mistaken. sorry to hear cervix gate (good name ) is still going on. I hope you get some answers soon. how's life otherwise?

glad I made you all smile with the hero comment!

Just having a nose..... Esp rooting for bear and red

essie! Good to see you but shit the cervix stuff isn't sorted.

Phew for weekend! Feel the week went quite quick for me though which is a bonus.

Hello essie sorry to hear your not having a fab time with it, fx you get seen by the right people promptly.

lil nap was actually meant to be bfp

Sorry to hear your out Saznut

Sprinkles a large amount of baby dust into the room!

Arrrrgh still bleeding , feel like an old lady as notice it when Iaugh like stress in continence !! A friend just said - you don't think u could have miscarried do u? And I don't think so but so wish I'd dry up !

Hey Essie! Good to see you despite cervixy-sadness Hope you get a specialist who isn't a muppet very soon!!
beetle- mine stopped last night and hasn't reared it's head again today despite last night's cape action, so hoping it's stopped for good! Maybe it was early OV? Not sure, but at least we got some swimmers in the game if so!

Glad yours stopped ness I'm keeping my fingers crossed mine does though maybe crossing legs more effective!

Lol cookie I figured it out

beetle it is odd. was ertd light than the usual? what does Dr goofle have to say on the matter? haven't seem his bow tie out in a while.

glad your back in the game nessa

sorry saznut its shit shut shit when she shows her ugly face. have and more and a cheeky to comfort yourself. I'm sure I'll be joining you over the weekend!

yay for the weekend!

In bed eating biscuits, feeling sorry for myself. Just had a quick chat with DH about what approach to take this month but feel a bit disheartened. Is it worth paying out for the stupid sticks? I'm not sure it really helps if you are EOD anyway.

I used to try and think of each new month as an opportunity but now it's just a chore!

Was a bit lighter and slightly shorter by a day maybe. Did hf forget to come out ?!! ; )
X

ello lovelies. OH doing my nut in. Thank god he's gone out I may well have poked him in the eye with a sharp stick.

AIBU to think that as he is a grown up (allegedly) he can decide to lose weight if he wants to. I am not in charge of that as well surely?!?

He is sulking because his eyes were bigger than his belly last night but he just kept troughing through his dinner until he popped!

Grrrrrrr

Hey girls, bit premature for us TTCers but worth getting a freebie, and good for any of the grads lurking - free pregnacare vitamin samples here

Aaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhh what's the point in TTC with a man that can't bear to miss any football on the TV! I give up its down to him to make the effort from now on
Sorry rant over

Hope everyone's having a more successful weekend of shagging or making the most of if ERTD about.

Congratulations on the BFP latium

ah furry that sucks. go punch him!

And...I'm...Out! Stupid witch. Not even the hot water bottle is touching the cramps. And to make things worse I've woken up with a horrid cold. I feel really defeated. I really don't know why we are bothering to try any more. I'm convinced there is something wrong with me and to have to wait until October to get referred is just heart breaking

oh lil, I'm so sorry. It's shit, isn't it? Can you send OH out for some decent painkillers & treats at least?

xx

To furry - my husband always prioritises the things he thinks is important yet makes me feel ttc is not one of those things. Then I say fine let's not have a baby and he says he wants one- why are we all trying for kids when we all have a male big baby already?!
Lillady it sucks all this effort and messing about and worry all just sucks!

Bleeding day number 6 but def less than before. This is def weird as never enough to constitute a period.
Ladies I can't see how this can be ov bleeding as too long and heavy but other option is mc but as had last period and have had no symptoms this can't be the case can it?
Changing docs on mon to one nearer us and hopefully less pikey ! (Sorry but it's true)

Hi viroids.
I've been Mia the last week on my course and haven't seen daylight (not even joking), let alone the internet.
I've scanned the Fred and am sending my love to lil and all who are having a bit of a to do with their husbands... Grrrr, why are they such arses sometimes?
Congratulations to late-I-am-no-longer what a wait!

I've past the important week without so much as a sniff of a rumble in the jumble and it's kind of a nice feeling knowing there's no way I'm gp and no am I, aren't I symptom spotting.
We have the docs tomorrow so that's that eh.
X

Good luck with the GP minion
lil hope the cramps have got easier, it's bad enough when ERTD arrives without all the pain aswell

I've had a chat with DP about the lack of DTD at the vital time of the month. I think ovulation just confuses him & he don't understand how an egg only lasts a day not all week.
He's now cooking a roast & missing the football & I feel a bit guilty for being a mardy cow last nite!

Sorry you're out lil, hope you've taken the time to feel glum and look after yourself today.

We have the exact same argument here furry, always MOTD and football that gets in the way. It finishes so late!

Course been good at least minion? Is docs tomorrow fertility related? I lose track sometimes!

Sorry you're out Lil hope the cramps are feeling better - I usually spend the first 2 days of ERTD with my hot water bottle rammed down the front of my trousers across my belly. FWIW I take Mefenamic Acid for the period pains and it works wonders.

Hi to everyone else too, don't let reluctant DHs get you down, just tell them they have a job to do

I have to admit, I'm obsessing a bit this month - as it's the first month since the SA showed us DP was actually fully functioning, so I've kind of stupidly got my hopes up. Setting myself up for a fall I know. Need to hold myself back a bit.

dulcet
Yeah thanks, was good but very tiring. Think up at 7, bed at 12 every day. Am exhausted. Has to have a 2 hour nap today and shattered again now. I imagine this is what it feels to be gp. at least I can console myself with that eh haah.
Docs is fertility related, it's our first once so assume he's just going to ask us questions. Am hoping the husband doesn't clam up and refuse to talk...
Time will tell.

Minion - I've booked my OH a GP visit in Wednesday to start the ball rolling on his tests, also hoping he doesn't just mumble at her!