TTC and still Breastfeeding? You are not alone - come to our bf-friendly cafe for a chat and some cake!

[MisterSafetyCatchIsNotOn]

Over here all breastfeeding ttcers! Welcome to our thread - a place for us to come for support, information and to talk about the extra challenges of ttc while still breastfeeding (or expressing like myself).

I thought I should go ahead and start the new thread as the old one is about to fill up and I didn't want anyone to get lost (hope that's ok Waiting and that you haven't already done this and I just missed it!)

For anyone who is new to the thread or needs a reminder, here are a few links to some useful websites (thanks Waiting for putting these together)

kellymom.com/bf/normal/ttc-while-bf/

kellymom.com/bf/normal/fertility/

www.llli.org/nb/nbmayjune04p114.html

www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Fertility-charting-while-breastfeeding.html

I've done some (very unscientific) research about supply when pregnant and I agree with waiting - most people who talked about it said they got to about 20-25wks and then the toddler self-weaned.

Could this be because this is about the sort of time you start to make colostrum for the new baby (and so the taste changes)? Just a thought.

Had intense O pains Saturday afternoon (yesterday) for about 20mins. Then today have had one or two lots of cloudy EWCM with some more spotting and now it's all tacky and a low cervix again. So fairly certain I o'd this cycle. We swi at the right time (at least four days running over O), but I'm just not convinced that my lining will be good enough. The optimist in me says that if there's enough to 'waste' on ovulation bleeding, then there must be enough for implantation. The pessimist/realist in me says that there wasn't enough last month (such a light period!) and DS's feeding pattern hasn't changed so why would there be more this month? That and the fact that #1 and #2 were both conceived first month of trying makes me less than positive about this cycle (nobody is that lucky three times in a row!!).

And happy to see that others are starting to obsess. My sister is pg with her first and I spent ages yesterday going through her hospital bag/nursery room list. Made me sooo broody (even the 'extra thick sanitary pads' part!!).

Welcome all!!

Hey, thank you for the welcomes

It seems to me to be very random when periods return, I have friends who EBF who got periods at 6 weeks (poor things!!) Mine came back a few days BEFORE I night weaned, otherwise I would have sworn blind it was the night weaning which did it!

And to those worrying their babies feed "too much", I think mine is the exception rather than the rule for being on only 2 feeds at 15 months. I work long hours sometimes so in some ways she's just had to adapt, but she's never been that frequent a feeder even as a newborn.

I am very worried about milk supply during pregnancy. Even when I have my period, DD gets miserable and spends ages on the boob whining and crying rather than a few minutes like normal. It's exhausting and the opposite of our normal happy cosy feeding. If pregnancy is like that, I think we might end up knocking bf on the head entirely. This upsets me…

What do people think they will do when they get pregnant? Are people planning to wean, or feed both babies, or just see what happens? I have no idea really...

I'm with you on the broodiness radiatormesh! It feels like I hear about a new pregnancy every week at the moment and it makes me all tearful (and secretly wildly jealous, which is not very attractive!) My friend got accidentally pregnant a few months back with a young baby already and I was even jealous of that… I keep dreaming about being pregnant again. God knows why, I hated being pregnant the first time, and labour wasn't the most fun thing in the world, and very tiny newborns were mindblowingly exhausting. But oh the magic of it all…

It's not too early for cake is it? I'm surrounded by brand new babies and pregnant friends and it's so hard containing my jealousy even though we are so lucky to have the most scrummy DS ourselves. Doesn't seem to make the broodiness any easier.

Hope to tandem feed here but with a food obsessed LO who would rather stuff his face with food than boob I'm not sure we'll last that long.

Think I may have ovulated this weekend which would suggest things are getting back to normal and would make DH's exhaustion from all the pouncing this week worthwhile! Think he's glad to go back to work to escape me today. Very quiet house here without him though, well except for the monster rolling around on the floor who seems to have caught hand, foot and mouth from somewhere. Oh yay! Happy Monday peeps

It's never too early for cake mrsdiddly - cake for breakfast is the best (one of the reasons I love visiting my mil!)

Congrats to your pregnant dsisters Waiting and Radiator, I can totally see how that would make it difficult not to obsess though. Will be lovely to have dcs so close in age when you do get your bfps as well!

I was hoping to tandem feed weebairn but ds had a nursing strike due to (I think) a bout of hand, foot and mouth in November and never went back to feeding, whatever I tried. In a way I guess he self weaned but it was quite distressing for him at the time and he was only 17 months so I don't think it was a natural self-weaning iyswim. I am still expressing as he often gets a wheezy chest and/or febrile convulsions when he gets colds so I want to keep up the breastmilk boost to his immune system until the end of the winter. If I do get pregnant before then though I might not last that long if I get sensitive nipples like last time (I'm not a fan of expressing anyway but definitely don't like the thought of doing it with 1st trimester sore boobs - ouch!).

Hoping for more dcs though so maybe next time I will manage tandem nursing, you'll all have to let me know how it works out for you!

I agree with Wating, catellington, that you are very likely to get to a year even if you got pregnant straight away. I suppose we just don't know what will happen to our milk supply once we're pregnant, as everyone is different.

I'll feed dd as long as she wants, tandem if that works. I still haven't quite got my head around how tandem feeding works though - what if dd drinks all the milk and there's none for the baby?! But I know it doesn't work like that and my body will make enough for both.

I'm in two minds about whether I desperately want to be pregnant or not - I do want to be, and soon, but I've just started a diet/healthy eating thing as I have a reasonable amount of weight to lose, and I don't really want to be overweight when pregnant. But I'm definetely not waiting until I've lost weight before ttc (I might never have another baby!), so we'll just see what happens.

Thank you WaitingForPeterWimsey it makes me feel reassured that your DS has done so well and is so happy from breastfeeding lots. Have had some crampiness the last couple of days but no EWCM yet so don't think I am ovulating.

Love that some of you are planning on tandem feeding. I think it is very cool.

Hi everyone,

Nice to see you all again, Happy New Year!

Nothing at all to report here, DS2 is still feeding as much as possible tho also is happy to take a bottle if I'm not around. DH has put him to bed a lot over Christmas with success. He's 16 months but still no sign of AF. So we're just bumbling along wondering when DS2 will self wean like DS1. I'm not going to go cold turkey because I think that would distress the poor boy (and he asks so nicely I can't refuse him ).

So really I'm just here to say hi to everyone and good luck! Here's to a successful 2014 for all of us.
Koko

I didn't know about ecological BF until I read a post on MN saying 'this is what you should do if you want to delay fertility' and realising I ticked every box, not through design, just surviving a 'spirited' baby!

I couldn't face going cold turkey either Koko, might try night weaning again though to try and speed things up.

hi everyone. great to have lots of new cake eaters

I am also v broody - both Dsis and SiL are pregnant...

I'm not sure about milk supply in pregnancy. know plenty of people who tandem fed without probs and have healthy weight-gaining newborns. I wasn't up for it last time and I weaned dd1 at 20 mths when I was 4 mths pregnant. by then she was only feeding to go to bed anyway and I found it so painful.msybe it would have got better tho.and perhaps it was the dip in supply causing pain? not sure what I'll do next time-assuming there is one. dd2 seems much more milk obsessed than her big sis.

I got quite excited the last few days as have been using IC OPKs for around 3 months and seen nothing and then since Friday have had almost positive/positive results (hard to tell esp with nothing to compare to) so I thought maybe LH was finally getting back to normal. however, now I've had 4 days in a row I'm not sure what to think. has anyone any experience? we've been DTD just in case. with no AF is hard to work things out. i started temping today now dd2 is better but that won't tell me much I suppose. I felt so hopeful that I don't need to do anything more weaning wise but now I'm not sure if too many almost positives without a really strong positive indicates a problem.

time for tea and left over Christmas cake

Well I need cake... Just got back from a pelvic scan (in relation to a previous condition) and whilst my ovary (only have one) looks 'beautiful' and ready to pop in a few days, my lining is thin. So implantation looks unlikely, unless it suddenly grows over the next few days.

Think I'm in the Kellymom 'ovulation without luteal competence' phase which is frustrating (and means I totally read my body wrong this weekend when I thought I was ovulating!). Really had hoped that cutting down to three feeds/24hrs would be enough, but it's not (and DS is currently dry humping my leg begging for a feed). Feeling very torn.

And I know waiting a few months isn't a big deal, and nobody in RL is even expecting us to have a third (we have one of each etc etc etc), but still. It's frustrating.

I'm sorry to hear about your lining being too thin radiator but I just wanted to say your phrase 'ds is currently dry humping my leg' made me laugh so much, my DS2 is exactly the same

Ah sorry radiator, I can understand your frustration, have some . It's good news about the ovulation though, at least that's one thing you don't need to worry about. How long is it since you cut down to 3 feeds per day? It might take your body a little while to adjust so you might not need to cut down any further in order to get your bfp. After all, your DS is quite young still and lots of bf-ers don't get AF back until much later, although I know the thought of having to wait is really tough. Maybe your lining will sort itself out over the next few days, or if not next month could be all back to normal.

We have found out today that DH is being given a project at work which involves being away (abroad) for a week or more every month, on top of all the practical issues I am really worried it will make ttc much more difficult for a while as he might be away at the crucial time! It's only until the end of the summer, but I really don't want to delay ttc until then even though that is probably the more sensible option (the thought of juggling toddler, work and first trimester tiredness and morning sickness alone for a week every month is stressing me although I know lots of people manage fine on their own.)

Oh also if any of the newcomers want to be added to the roll call can you tell me what you want to go on there? I will do an update as we have quite a few new people!

hi there
just thought I'd add a bit more detail for the role call:

ekk0 DD1 3.11, DD2 21 mths. been TTC no. 3 since August, but no AF. AF returned at 14mths whilst still bf DD1. Have recently cut down to 3 bf per day - 7am, sometime between 1pm and 4pm and bedtime 7pm-ish.

Could you add me to the roll call as well please?

MediumOrchid, one dd, 15mo, TTC since December, currently on cycle 2. Dd still feeds several times during the day and night.

Mister, hopefully your dh won't be away at the wrong time! Do you have anyone who could help out if you were to be pregnant and struggling while he's away?

Thanks for all the (very sensible) advice and the cake. Am currently resisting the mini bottle of champagne Father Christmas gave me as well :) I only cut down end November so it's really only been just over a month, and your advice to give it a bit longer makes sense. There's no rush really to having #3 (it'd be nice sooner rather than later, but I'm only 31 and a SAHM so it's not a big deal really) and my priority now is BF I think.

My big issue is not seeing TTC as a competition. Before both #1 and #2 we were told we'd have problems conceiving for various reasons, all of which turned out to be utter rubbish (#1 and #2 both were conceived first month of trying - #1 on one shag...). However I've gotten it into my head that I have a fertility problem and so see being pregnant as a 'success' (and thus not being pregnant as a 'failure'). Which I know is rubbish and offensive, but is something I need to deal with....

Mister I sympathise about the posting. DH is often away Mon - Thurs which was fine before we were TTC, but now I've been going through my diary trying to work it all out (which is obv impossible when I have no idea what my cycles are doing!). An early shag the day he leaves and a late one the day he gets back isn't too bad though I suppose...

I eat pretty healthily anyway, but I think I need to tone down the exercise. I really love it, but I'm sooo active during the day with the children (no car, so I reckon I walk 4+ miles a day with the stroller) that I probably need to tone down the workouts...

morning everyone!

Radiator, 4+ miles a day, I'm so impressed! We try to walk plenty in with our dogs, but manage nowhere near that much and keep being thwarted by fallen down trees this week. Must remember to use carrier today and not pushchair so we can get round them. Had to turn round yesterday and tried to find a different way home. Oh the mud...

More info for the roll call - 32, cycle 4 TTC after 10 month old ds. BF 3 times a day (7am, 3pm, 7pm - managed to night wean over xmas with help from DH!).

Cycle is def still all over the place. Thought I'd ov'ed at weekend. Woken up with horrible ov pain. But gutted optimistic it means I am oving. Ordered a cheapie thermometer so I can start charting...

*gutted but optimistic. Oh please don't be one of those days