The Elderberry Pavlovas head into 2014 which will be full of ivf, berry babies and BFPs!!! (thread 17)

[Bunnygirlie]

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 6+months (preferably 12+) NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

The 17th thread, wow! This had better be it ladies, time to get off the Sofa of Pity onto the Pouffe of Positivity and beyond!

I've boiled the sodding herbs almost dry again. Not totally dry though, so I now have a very small amount of incredibly foul smelling brown liquid in a mug. I really don't want to drink it! Not sure whether to drown it in sugar or add vimto and water. I feel like a small child being ordered to drink half a mug of pure castor oil!

And to add to my lovely evening I've just lost a bridesmaid. Her half term isn't the same as mine and she's only just realised that the wedding isn't at the end of her half term. She teaches full time and spends all weekend having quality time with her son so doesn't want to be away from him for the whole weekend as then she 'wouldn't really have spent any time with him for 2 weeks'. Even though she'd have spent every day of the previous week with him, and does actually see him every evening even if it's not for long before she does bath and bedtime. Obviously though as I'm not a parent I can't really appreciate her situation. Her alternative was bringing her toddler with her. Not going to happen. So she's coming for the Saturday evening but will miss the Hen Do on Friday night and the Saturday activities. Good job she wasn't my only bridesmaid. I'm already missing another one for most of the hen do as she is dropping her kids off at the in laws first. I assumed she'd leave that to her husband given the bridesmaids usually turn up to the hen do but no.... Clearly I understand them putting their kids first, but this isn't just a random weekend, they're my bridesmaids and I asked them (and told them the date) over 4 months ago, could they not have told me they couldn't make the hen do sooner?!

Barking - that's a pretty poor show from your bridesmaids. I understand that they want to spend time with their kids but a couple of days is hardly going to scar their kids for life. I'd deffo be a bit miffed. Harsh, moi? One of my hen attendees spent ~48 hours from her 3 month old baby, I was impressed especially given that she was still expressing. She asked the Travelodge to keep it in the fridge and she took it home with her! I really didn't expect her to make it but was delighted when she did.

OK, I have a dilemma. Not sure whether to start IVF at end of Jan or end of Feb. I've been told that I can pre book my slot giiven how close it is to me turning 40 (sob!). Still on holiday at the moment and have had a lot to drink and eat over the last couple of weeks so kind of feel that I'm not in my best shape physically to do Jan. On the plus side I would be less busy work wise in Jan rather than Feb. I've also kept forgetting to take my vits on hols so don't know if that will affect things. The main risk about leaving it until Feb is that I have a wonky month cycle wise and I miss my pre-40 cut off for beginning treatment. Any advice wise berries?

gillster I'd go with January. Better for work so you'll be more relaxed, safely before the funding cut off (again reducing stress), and everything I've read about getting your body ready talks about the last three months being relevant rather than just the last few weeks, so unless you want to wait 3 months (which you don't) it's not relevant. January!!

gill just go for it in Jan!! I would. One month of taking vits and eating well is not going to make a huge difference anyway. Just take the leap if you're ready in your head and don't worry too much about the rest.

barking sorry, but your bridesmaids are being completely rubbish. I'd sack them and get new ones. It's your wedding ffs!

I will post tonight as just off on a hike today and won't have access to the internet. Hope everyone is ok (have not scrolled back on thread yet - just read the last few posts)

Barking what was the concentrated tea shot like? Could you not try to re-use it again (third time lucky!) or if the herbs aren't up to it, maybe, um, bake them into brownies or something? Crappy news about your bridesmaids, especially as it seems to be such a lame excuse (Maybe it IS just an excuse, and really she is pg???) (That's what my paranoid brain would be telling me, at least).

Hi Win, hopefully your nest results are better, but do try to get to a FC as soon as you can as, like the other Berries say, he probably doesn't know very much and at least the FC will know what they are talking about. I think Tiger and Snow are having their first FC appts pretty soon - so good luck to all of you!

Gill sometime the mental positives of a holiday and enjoying yourself outweigh the positives of strict eating etc, and esp with the risk of a wonky cycle messing up the timing, I'd be more inclined to go for the first cycle. And (sorry for the negative thoughts) but if it doesn't work then would there be time for at least a frozen egg transfer before your Birthday?

F&TX for Bunny and Pip! (grow little follies, GROW!)

Feather have fun! Barking, I'll volunteer!

barking you're bms are crap! However, thought I thought I'd tell you about my bms in attempts to make you feel better lol! Bm 1 had a massive fall out with me for finding my dress with bm 2. In the end I had to pretend I hadn't bought the dress and picked her up across town to 'get her opinion' a d then spent a good while consoling her as she was sobbing so much!
Bm 2 then insisted on wearing a size 12 even though she was a 14 and I told her we'd get the seamstress to alter it if she lost weight. She didn't. Actually she put on weight and then ripped the silk dress about 8 inches trying to get into it, resulting in me being about 40 mins late for my own wedding.
They argued over dresses, shoes and have ignored each other since! Anyway, my point is, maybe you've had a lucky escape?!?!

gill could this be your sub conscience getting last minute jitters?? I imagine you're lovely and relaxed after you're holiday so id start the health kick now and start you're ivf

Gill. I'd go for now. I put my first round off by a month so it would fall over the summer holidays and be more convenient for work. I found that helped with the stress.
This time I just went for the earliest date that I could start again.
I tried to eat well over the holidays but I agree that feeling relaxed is more important than your physical state.

Barking, your bridesmaids sound rubbish. It's your hen do!! I think you have every right to be pissed off.

Kuma, my amh was 4.5. Still very low, but not as dire as a 16.5 fsh.

Blind kitty, your bridesmaids sound awful too! I just sent you a pm with a progesterone question. Hope that's ok.

gill, I agree with the others, probably best to go for ivf earlier if poss.

Morning all!

wino sorry to hear you had some bad news, hopefully you have options

Oh barking grrrrr to the batty bridesmaids! This is your one day and as your friends they should be there for you! But like you said we aren't parents so we don't understand ;-p

gill I agree with the other berries, go for it in jan if you can. I know what you mean, I started over Christmas new year so I was full of crap food and a bit of booze, at least my tummy was fatter for the jabs though

As for me I am fed up, this mornings jab hurt so I'm feeling all its so unfair today! Why can't it be drunken sex wham bam thank you ma'am rather than stabbing and dildocams and prodding and poking aaaaaaaaagh!

Gill I'm with the other berries as well. Do Jan! I haven't been that healthy over Xmas tbh and hoping to start downregging 20th Jan. I've been v relaxed though over xmas which has been nice. I've tried healthy eating and it hasn't made a blind bit of difference whilst ttc so hoping the relaxing has done some good. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is I'll think there will always be something I think I should have tried in advance but I am where I am and the most important thing to me is time and that I need to act sooner rather than later. I think if you have a quieter Jan you need to just go for it!

barking I think you have every right to be peeved off with your bridesmaid. I think as a one off she should make the effort for you.

kitty how's your friend doing ?

win sorry to read about your results but I agree with the others about GP's and their knowledge about fertility. Mine sent me for my fsh tests and told me I could go on any day of the month which was completly incorrect and had to be repeated once I got referred to a fc which is when they discovered I had high fsh. I do think you should push for a fc referral. When is your next appt with the gp?

bunny sorry your morning injections hurt. Have you tried ice to numb the area or doesn't that make a blind bit of difference? Good luck for your 1st scan tomorrow!

bunny yes but you'll be diffed soon and you'll be like 'oh that's what sex-for-fun is like?!' Alternatively, you might completely go off sex but hopefully it will be the former haha!

yorkie I'm headed over to hers in an hour. Just hope I say the right thing. Currently trying to find my 'least pregnant appearing' outfit so I don't upset her anymore than she already is.

Thanks Berries - Jan it is then!

Bunny are you using the same injection site all the time? The FC nurse told us to alternate on either side of our belly button if that helps. Come on you follies! (That goes for Pip too). I should be hot on your heels soon.

Also Bunny think you're right about the sub-conscious jitters, very perceptive of you! The thought of stabbing in just over 3 weeks time is a little daunting but good to be doing something positive. At least my belly will also be a bit fatter for the injections too!

Are you on long or short protocol Gill?

winohh that amh isn't too bad, mine was only 1.2 . The FC showed me a table of ranges which I've found online before but can't find atm as I'm on my phone but the lowest bracket is under 3, which you're not in. I'm thinking about trying DHEA which has has had good results in US studies. More later when I'm on my laptop.

Gillster I also vote January.

Short protocol Pip.

Another vote for January Gill. Kuma I'm taking DHEA, got it from amazon. My AMH/AFC is fine but I'm worried about egg quality. Side effects are supposed to include acne, hair loss and increased sex drive, just got a few extra spots so far. There's a thread on fertilityfriends about it.

Hello Berries,

A bit of a lurker I am afraid and been keeping an eye on which forum / thread I should be on for about a year- I think that I am in the right place but not sure as don't know if I meet your entrance criteria.

Anyway, here goes:
35 TTC #1 for 2 and a half years. As far as we know we have no medical reason just "unexplained fertility" and boy does that not sit well! As a member of the health care community (none OBGYN!) I am very used to fixing things and so having nothing to fix is driving me mad.

Anyway after 18 months of investigations etc. we have been advised by our Consultant at the hospital that we need IVF and as we are both over 35 we have to pay - and that sucks! We have our first appointment at the FC on Friday and I am starting to get anxious about what they say and about our chances of success. I have managed to get most of my bloods done and DH has full semen analysis on Thursday so I am hoping that we can start progressing treatment.

Like most posters on here I find it so difficult to be happy and smiley when others post on FB or tell me that they are pregnant - now not helped by the fact that my best friend announced her pregnancy to me on NYE - don't get me wrong I am truly over the moon for her but know that they have not been trying long and cannot get past the whole "It's not fair" part. DH does his best but doesn't really talk and I am a little worried that he still doesn't quite know what we are going to be up against!

Sorry for the long post and slight rant (especially if I am in the wrong place!) - I guess that the looming appointment is starting to get to me!

Thanks HB

HB, I'm procrastinating marking books right now but just had a quick mn glance and it sounds to me like you are absolutely in the right place. That's really crappy about the IVF funding; healthcare lottery at its finest.

Welcome HB you have one to the right place for support and advice

yorkie haven't tried ice, maybe I need to slap my tum first lol

Thanks gil all positive vibes for the follies great fully received

So a few IVFers to join me and pip soon then?!?

Oh, and unless it's a fellow berry, I am no longer much good at faking pregnancy announcement joy. Seriously hope my first round of IVF works as I have a horrible feeling it'll be my younger sibling announcing next.

Oh ffs. Bridesmaid number 3 is pg. With twins. Genuinely thrilled for her (clomid, been trying 2 years as well) but so gutted I couldn't still be pg and share it all with her . She's the one I was scared of telling when I was pg. Oh the irony.

Sorry HB, too self involved. Welcome, you're definitely in the right place. .

Oh FFS indeed barking grrrrrrrr

boodle think positive! It will work!