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Conception

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The Elderberry Pavlovas head into 2014 which will be full of ivf, berry babies and BFPs!!!  (thread 17)

995 replies

Bunnygirlie · 26/12/2013 23:23

The smallprint –
Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 6+months (preferably 12+) NO instadiffers, must have a special pot and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooooh aren’t we strict!

The 17th thread, wow! This had better be it ladies, time to get off the Sofa of Pity onto the Pouffe of Positivity and beyond!

OP posts:
ladybunnikins · 28/01/2014 06:44

Was Wino a natural BFP?

PuppyMummy · 28/01/2014 06:48

I was a natural bfp (just!) FUFC!! but wino was after me, hers was similar to my situation I think!

is that the im 34, had sex twice, blah blah? I nearly posted about that and then didn't in case I sounded bitter!! Grin

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 06:59

pip one full cycle of ivf. If we rushed to do the affordable egg sharing while I was still young enough (I've got 4 months) it's not free anyway round here (about £1000) and it would mean we didn't get the nhs round, so we would end up worse off. We don't get referred for IVF until March (was going to be start of December but the summer bfp then mc meant we hadn't taken all 6 rounds of clomid by then and as it worked for us once there was no way they were going to refer us before the 6 were up) so even if we get in under the 18 week wait I'll still be too old to then try egg sharing if it doesn't work. The only other affordable egg sharing option I can find without travelling miles and miles (ie London) has an age cut off of 32, so too late already.
And now I'm questioning whether I want to spend any more money on acupuncture instead of saving it towards IVF!!! Argh! It's so scary when you have limited resources and you don't know where to place your bets... Feel like I'm gambling for the prize of carrying my own child. I need to pay my entire budget just to have a go on the coconut shy and I don't know which coconut isn't stuck down so I don't know which to take a shot at - and I might miss anyway!!!!

Doesn't help that I've had two pg announcements, increasingly large bump at work which will turn into photos of baby all over the staff room very soon, and more wedding drop outs from husbands who've realised actually, they don't want to leave their month old baby and wife for one night so neither are now coming.

But anyway, now I've actually had a period there's no reason why I shouldn't ovulate with the clomid, and I might just get a sneaky bfp before the nhs ivf anyway. You never know....

happylass · 28/01/2014 07:32

Yesssss Barking loving the positivity. Lets get ourselves on the YBR and join the au naturel differs club. You've got pg before and I'm 'only' on cycle 14 of TTC so there's hope for us both and no reason why we can't say FUFC Grin

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 07:42

After 2 years I'm not sure I'm quite positive enough to believe I can do it au natural, but I'll happily skip along the YBR with you clutching my last dose of clomid!! Grin Grin Let's both go for a sober hen do!! Grin Grin

IamKuma · 28/01/2014 12:40

Someone steer me to the ybr, please. Feeling rough today and hoping af not on her way yet. cd22 but I've had two 23 day cycles in the last few months and hoping this isn't another. On the positive side I suppose it means another fresh cycle but I'd also love an FUFC. Happy it's cycle 14 for me too.... how the heck has it gone so fast?

Not got a great working environment at the mo either, fortunately not concerning me directly but was awake from 4 am last night, worrying about stuff and reading infertility threads Sad. Probably not a great strategy for getting back to sleep....

Can today be over please?

SidneyBristow · 28/01/2014 14:22

hugs to you kuma, early night for you tonight right? Brew those infertility threads are addictive...I find myself reading them hoping that someone will have shared some insight that will put and end to this TTC BS. Cycle 19 here and never in a billion years did I think it would take this long.

feeling a little wobbly today myself but I think I must be erring on the side of YBRness, as the sight of nearly-newborn boy/girl twins at the drugstore didn't send me running for the tissues aisle. I'm choosing to consider it as a sign of encouragement from the universe couldn't possibly be just some harried new mother shopping for cold medicine while one new baby cried and the other new baby slept peacefully, oh no

happylass · 28/01/2014 16:13

Kuma its been 18 months since we started TTC but only 14 cycles due to the break we took. In a way time has flown by but on the other hand it's hard to remember a time when we weren't thinking about TTC!

Sid sorry you're having a bit of a wobble. Have some Flowers and hop on the YBR when you feel up for it.

Parsley2506 · 28/01/2014 18:01

I know I've not even been on this thread a month, but I just wanted to add that I conceived au naturelle after 18 months (16 cycles inc 1 break and 1 for HyCoSy) so don't give up hope! Ok yes, it ended in MC but I sincerely hope that if we managed it once we can manage it again!

I have heard that there are motorway services along the YBR complete with mini sofas of pity, so you're allowed to make wobbly pit stops on the way to the magical land of pOZitivity!

Wow, that was a horrible analogy Grin

happylass · 28/01/2014 18:31

Thanks Parsley always good to hear a positive story. DP and I have pretty much written ourselves off I think, but we need to remember that we've only actually had a year of TTC (short cycles) and I've heard of plenty of people who've taken longer than that so we must be more positive!

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 20:45

kuma I do the same, late night googling and reading mumsnet is not sensible or good for you!

Parsley, love the analogy Grin Grin

tigerdog · 28/01/2014 21:00

Just catching up on all the chat from the last few days, it’s been busy in here! I've been stuck on the Sofa of Pity for the last few days, feeling a bit too glum even to post. I wish I could just escape my body and the whole ttc saga for a short while at least!

barking the postcode lottery is very unfair. There was going to be a move to a national policy for IVF but it would have led to increasing the numbers of people eligible beyond the point of affordability for the NHS and so they chickened out and left it under local control. It is a bit of a catch 22 - if your area offered more cycles, the waiting list would most likely end up being much longer to accommodate the increase in people having second and third cycles so there would be lots of people who would miss out due to the waiting times. The other option of course would be for the NHS to invest more in fertilty but that is never going to happen when there are issues like the obesity epidemic. I also live in a one cycle area Angry

happy where are you that there is an 18 month waiting list? It should be 18 weeks between referral and treatment time for all referrals in the NHS and I don’t think IVF is any different.

gill I think the success rates are at least 2 years behind – the latest data I could find was from 2011, and they are improving all the time.

rp doh to the ipad damage, but best just to pay up and put it out of your mind quickly!

funky, pip agree that being told ‘relax and it will happen’ is VERY annoying. I had this recently from a pg friend and I was ready to throttle her – apparently she conceived after she stopped thinking about so much, and this was despite being very overweight and her husband being the unhealthiest man I know. I also find it a bit upsetting that she was insinuating that it is somehow my fault that I am not pg, and that I could just sort it all out by doing a bit more deep breathing or something! I wouldn’t have dreamt of commenting on her lifestyle before she got pg, or if she had struggled to get pg.

parsley sounds like af weeks is the same here. A few tears, followed by blue cheese and wine!! Had a couple of glasses over the weekend to drown the sorrows.

sid and kuma sorry you are both feeling blue. Today is nearly over at least!!

I have had a shite day and am feeling grouchy. Feel as though I can't get away from babies - facebook, organising baby shower, pg colleagues everywhere. My current distraction from it all (making stuff) has become about babies, as I have been asked to make a patchwork quilt by a friend who is having a baby. Just keep telling myself that it is good practice but sounds a bit hollow at the moment. Oh and tried to book my hsg but they refused to book it in advance because I hadn't called on the first day of my cycle, even though I hadn't been able to get through any earlier. So have to wait another month. grumph.

blimey, I realise I've just written an essay. Still, I do feel a bit better now!

Hope everyone is ok!

happylass · 28/01/2014 21:19

Tiger I'm in South Wales where the waiting time used to be 6 weeks. However last year the NHS ended its contract with a private IVF clinic in Swansea in order to open up its own unit in Neath. Typically there was a huge delay and for ages the area was operating on just one clinic (Cardiff) instead of 2. Although both units are now open a huge backlog has built up hence the mammoth waiting list Angry. On top of that the criteria have recently been relaxed which is why I'm keen to get on the list asap!
Sorry to hear you're stuck on the SoP. Come and join the YBR when you feel up to it Flowers

happylass · 28/01/2014 21:25

Tiger only just read the bit about the HSG. That seems mightily unfair. Surely as long as you tell them when cd1 was it wouldn't matter if you rang a day or two later. What happens if cd1 is on the weekend? Next time id tell a little porkie. As long as HSG is done before OV there's no need for them to know what cd you are on. Grrr on your behalf!

funkymonk · 28/01/2014 22:01

Just dropping in to wish pip good luck for tomorrow. At least I think tomorrow is OTD?? I may be wrong. Maybe it's next wednesday??

Will drop by to catch up on others news once I'm comfy in bed.

CatsCantFlyFast · 28/01/2014 22:15

I think Pip's OTD is Mon and UnOTD is Sunday

RevoltingPeasant · 28/01/2014 22:35

Hmmm I need a smack and some advice.

So today is our last fertile day this month. We have managed to dtd twice in the window but I think one time may have been too early so prob only once.

I think I OV today so tonight would be ideal.... But DH has pulled his back and can't. It is so frustrating that every time we want to have sex we need to plan, take a pill the day before and then hope it works. And then if the smallest thing goes wrong it's all out the window.

It feels like every month it's something. We are just not able to reliably have sex often enough within the fertile period, I don't think.

DH is very resistant to the spunk-in-a-cup method. I find this very frustrating because he can have an organism by himself more easily than with me so we would have many more chances.

Would it be unreasonable to go to the GP and push for assisted conception? I feel like a fraud because as far as I know I don't have problems like hormonal ones, that need treatment, so I feel like I'm taking up resources. But I will also be 35 this year and we started trying when I was 33 and it's just so frustrating to feel like chance after chance is going by!!

I'm sorry, I do need a smack..... I know it has not been that long compared to many people but I don't see how to get round this problem if we can't even reliably manage to shag 3-4 times a month :(

RevoltingPeasant · 28/01/2014 22:36

And sorry to be so mememe Blush

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 22:36

funky I think pip is pimping on Sunday Smile .

tiger pull on some red shoes and join us on the ybr Grin .

kuma today is almost over now! Grin Thanks

Pipbin · 28/01/2014 22:38

Thank you Funky, but no, not until Monday officially.
I've just looked in the cupboard and I have no in date tests!

Pipbin · 28/01/2014 22:40

And RP, I think you should go to the gp. You need some kind of assistance.

CatsCantFlyFast · 28/01/2014 22:42

Rp I don't think you'd be unreasonable at all to go to the gp.

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 22:43

x post!
rp Wouldn't the problem be that any fertility treatment would involve him spunking in a cup? If he's not keen on doing this in his own home to help tuings along will he be happy doing it at the doctor's for tests? And if you got to IVF, then it's essentially just a medical professional doing what you'd like him to do himself - spunk in a cup then deliver the goods to you! Shock
Maybe if he thinks it could otherwise come to this he might be more willing to try the turkey baster method at home? I don't think it'd be unreasonable to ask him to step up to the mark just once a cycle in peak fertile time to back up the goods.

barkingtreefrog · 28/01/2014 22:46

rp sorry, again I'm using 25 words where one will do. Yes, I think it would be perfectly reasonable to go to the gp.

pip get some ordered woman!!! Shock

funkymonk · 28/01/2014 22:49

Yes Rp agree with the other berries. Get to the gp and get him jizzing in a cup. Not the gp, your dp I mean!

Sorry pip I got over excited and lost track of the timescales! Are you going to pimp Sunday or wait until otd?