Eggcellent Egg Buddies - a thread for those IVFing in November, December and January

[eurochick]

New thread. Welcome back to all the regulars. Welcome to all the newbies - please come and join us if you are IVFing or thinking about. The regulars are a mine of information at this point!

Do you realise that this will take us through a year of egg buddy threads? I believe Karbea started the last one around Xmas time last year for those cycling in 2013 and I immediately jumped on it as I was about to start my first cycle in January. Blimey.

Ladies

Would you mind if I joined please?

Sorry to hear people have really been through the mill. I have been TTC for three years but without a single pregnancy in that time unfortunately I'm unable to offer any personal experience of pregnancy loss and feel like I've sort have been lucky that I haven't had to go through what must be the toughest experience ever. Hopefully the new year will bring some good news for all.

January will mark the third year anniversary of us starting on this TTC journey and I started my first IVF cycle just over two weeks ago. Down Regging until Xmas eve with egg collection (fingers crossed) week beginning January 6th so would be great to share the experience with others.

I have a complete bicornuate uterus and endometriosis and looks like this route is the only one that will work for us. Little worried that the results you see from the clinics are all cycles combined though and you don't get the statistics split out into the probability of it working on cycle 1, on cycle 2 etc. (I am a statistician and am all about the statistics!!)

Anyway, currently down Regging and AF has been and gone but seem to be having EWCM....is this normal?? I thought down reg would shut everything down and I wouldn't ovulate at all....does this sound like down reg might not be working?

Hoping you more experienced ladies will be able to help

Thanks

Fabi xxx

Welcome FabOne. Have you started stimming yet (I know you said you are downregging until Xmas eve but you usually continue the downreg drugs when you start stimms, so I'm not too sure)? It's normal to get loads of EWCM when stimming as your oestrogen levels are elevated. But I'm guessing not from the timings you mention.

I dropped out of my downregging cycle at the end of AF though, so I'm probably not the best person to advise on this!

I hope you will find this thread helpful and supportive over the next few weeks.

Hi Eurochick!

No, I'm still on down reg, doing a four week so that we can have EC start of January when my DH is on annual leave. I'm hoping another two weeks will mean I am well and truly down reg'd and all will be well. Trying to take a day at a time but so hard not to fast forward and think about things too much!

When you say you dropped out of down reg after AF, do you mean you started stimming then or stopped the cycle completely?

Xxx

I stopped the cycle completely, Fab. I don't react well to hormonal medication and downregging turned me into a looper. So I walked away from the cycle as it was too upsetting for me and my husband. Don't worry though - my reaction was pretty extreme. Most people feel a bit off but not quite that bad! We moved to natural/mild IVF instead.

AFM... I just caved and tested. It was a faint BFP. But I've been here before and can't get excited (although my imagination is).

I kind of knew for the last few days - insomnia, exhaustion, boobs like bazookas and feeling dizzy a couple of times when I got up too quick. How wonderful it would be to be a first timer without the memories of what happened last time. But I'm not, and I can't help thinking back to that.

So no congratulations please, ladies. I feel too cautious for that. Just some crossed fingers that the clinic blood test on Thursday gives me a nice HCG number please. x

Euro - crossed fingers for Thursday. Xx

Badhair - thanks for your message. It means a lot especially when I've just invaded the thread. I have also had 2 ectopics and tube removal (as well as the failed ivf) - sucks doesn't it. I have seen friends with babies in that time (which has been incredibly hard) but I guess I was always holding on to ivf as a solution. I think what makes it worse is that I feel my inlaws will be watching with a patronising - why is she so upset face- and at Christmas things are generally more intense. My BIL says to just relax and we will get pregnant (we all know how that one goes). As an example my inlaws bought me a giant framed poster with a don't quit poem for my birthday (just after ivf BFN). I know they mean well but they might as well have said 'we want more grandchildren'. I felt like screaming 'I will quit if I f*ing well want to'.

My plan is to avoid the situation until January when things are a bit calmer and we might have a new plan (ivf review isn't till Jan).

Fx for thurs, euro x

Welcome fabi!

euro I think you're being very sensible. My fingers are crossed for you.

Sorry things are so tough for you, thoughtful. I tortured myself after my bfn by visiting a friend and her new baby. Madness in hindsight. Can totally understand you wanting to avoid SIL. Unfortunately some people just don't get it.

AFM I got most of my bloods done today for the immunologist. Only 17 little test tubes. Not sure what made me dizzier, the lack of blood or paying for it on my credit card :-D Getting the rest done on Thursday for free. And in the other arm!

Huge fingers crossed euro

bugger! Just had a nice lunch, don't worry!

euro got FX for you and will be checking on Thursday to see your results.

Oooh! Euro! Fingers, toes and everything crossed for you! Welcome Fabi and thanks for the nice comments, people. Ahhhh, Thoughtfulone - poor you. I've yet to meet anyone else in virtual life who has lost both tubes to Ectopics. We have had a shitty end of the stick, haven't we? But! We have managed to get pregnant before and hopefully will do again. I am very lucky in that I've got a 20 month old son whom I conceived by accident, in fact, which has really helped keep me going. In some ways I don't know which is harder - being unexplained must be more of a 'head fuck' I should imagine in many ways. My first ectopic nearly killed me last Christmas Eve - I had massive internal bleeding and was starting to struggle to breathe - so I feel lucky to be here to be honest. I keep hoping my luck will change in 2014. Hopefully yours will too. Do you mind if I ask how old you are? I am nearly 38 but still feel 25. Let's hope my eggs feel like that too! Big hugs to everybody - all of us are tough birds, else we wouldn't be putting ourselves through this! Xxx

And can I just add that you guys on here are more supportive and understanding than my friends and family by far - thank you all so much xxxx

I just read what I wrote back and suddenly thought that I sounded a bit chippy by referring to being unexplained as 'more of a headfuck'' - I totally DIDN'T mean to cause any offence by that at all. So sorry if I did. Nor did I mean to imply that having had several pregnancy losses made my situation any harder. What I was actually trying to say, was that pregnancy loss of any kind is horrific, but that I have taken small comfort from the fact that I have been able to conceive several times, even though three out of four of those conceptions ended in heartache and loss. Makes me think my luck has to change sometime.

Oh, I know, Buggerlugs. People say the worst things. I don't think they mean to though. The one I hate the most is when people say 'Well, remember you have got Oscar (my son). Sigh! It's almost as if they expect me to say 'Oh yeah, I totally forgot I already had a child. That makes everything okay then.' Arrggghhhhhh!!!!! Another one is 'God will find a way' - my goodness I have to grit my teeth when I hear that particular missive! I feel a bit shit on these IVF drugs today - it's only the fourth day. I feel super angry. Is this normal? Dunno if it's the drugs or just me being grumpy.

The downreg drugs turned me into Eeyore, badhair. Is that what you are taking at the moment. I don't remember being grumpy but I do remember completely fucking miserable.

Your last Xmas Eve sounds horrific. Your poor thing.

nobeer it sounds like they took more than an armful! Blimey.

bugs you should write that book - it's needed! Another chapter suggestion: How not to announce your pregnancy to someone going through fertility treatment

Thanks for all the crossed bits, ladies. Just make sure it's not your legs you are crossing for me.

I was weepy yesterday, but feel pissed off today. There were two pregnant women at Playgroup running their bumps and I felt really annoyed with them. Am not normally like that - I usually just feel sorry for myself. My mum has also just annoyed me again. She phoned up and said 'What's up with you, you sound awful' and when I said I thought it might be the drugs, she kind of tutted and said 'we'll, you did sign up to this when you started'. Sigh. I then said I felt a bit miserable because all my friends were pregnant. She asked who and I reeled off four names. She then said 'Well, that's nothing to do with you, is it?' Deep breath and sigh again.

euro was thinking about you today so am keeping absolutely everything crossed for Thursday.
Badhair f*ck me you really have had a shitty year. Lets hope that 2014 is your year (and everyone elses too). I love this thread as well - loads of support and not even a sniff of baby dust
nobeer Hope they gave you tea and biscuits after all that. How long did that all take? Well lets hope that you can start to get some answers (or not IYKWIM)
Bugs You really should write that book. I'm sure you would get lots of input from us!

bugs get plenty of protein down you. Milk, eggs, cheese, chicken, nuts whatever you can stomach. A nice warm milky drink worked for me on the cold nights. Another tip for the book - this thread should be compulsory reading for every friend / family member before they are allowed to even open their mouths. If they want a sense of what we're going through, they'll find no finer source imo.
Crossing everything except my legs for you euro
nobeer blimey! Well done on the mammoth bloods!
Welcome fabi
choco you stay here as long as you like. We'd only miss you & have to stalk the other threads to see how you're doing. So do us a favour & hang about a bit. How big are your fingers btw? I'm imaging some massive mamas!
maryp best of luck for Friday. Fx for you lovely.
badhair big squeeze on its way over. The dr drugs are the devils work. They certainly fucked with my mental state. I am usually pretty chipper but I had 2 meltdowns on my cycle. Get plenty of tissues in & also try some primal screaming. Sounds weird I know but it really helps
thoughtful if only it were as simple as your BIL so helpfully put it. We could all save a fortune & rescue our mind & bodies from this bollocks
Hi to everyone else

Thanks for all the sympathy guys, I feel fine now so apols if I was milking it a bit . No biscuits but I had some porridge and cuppa when I got to work - got to watch my cholesterol for NHS blood tests on Thurs! I was dying for some churros with chocolate, a very fatty breakfast thing here, but I was sensible. My arm was aching but feels ok now. It prob took about 10 mins, but there was loads of admin faffing and waiting around too so not sure. Long enough to find out Nursey has a little boy, what we're doing at Xmas chit chat. She did a good job, no bruise!

I second what Brooks said plus lots of veg - the stronger the colour the better. If you can't bare drinking milk then having it hot with some cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla makes it really quite lovely plus this will all help with your weight gain - I can vouch for it!!! Emma cannon's baby making bible is quite helpful for diet plus I can do a section in your book on interesting meals for the ivf diet

badhair your post about feeling low really made my heart sink, especially with you not having much support from your mum. I understand though. I work in a nursery and I'm quite good at locking away my feelings so generally pregnancy doesn't bother me but at the moment there's a girl at work who is 7 months up duff and she's HUGE! she's more like 12 months pregnant and she's so miserable. Every time I hear her moan I just think to myself, 'I'd give anything to be that kind of miserable. I want cankles too if it means I'm going to get a baby!'. But the I lock the thoughts into that box and tuck it away at the back of my mind again. Easier said than done I know!

choco I will be upset if you don't stick around! You deserve this as much as we do so I personally would love to go on the exciting journey with you xxx