Eggcellent Egg Buddies - a thread for those IVFing in November, December and January

[eurochick]

New thread. Welcome back to all the regulars. Welcome to all the newbies - please come and join us if you are IVFing or thinking about. The regulars are a mine of information at this point!

Do you realise that this will take us through a year of egg buddy threads? I believe Karbea started the last one around Xmas time last year for those cycling in 2013 and I immediately jumped on it as I was about to start my first cycle in January. Blimey.

Hi ladies! After being off the IVF train for so long (it's only been since October but it feels like forever) I will be rejoining you all on the journey in January!

I've had clotting tests and swab tests done after my two failed cycles and it has come back as normal. So my doc had suggested we go for anoth frozen cycle with the scratch and also change to injectable progesterone!

I'm so nervous but excited all at the same time. I hope you want me back after being so flakey lately!

Well done on the 1st injection badhairday! The first is the worst and you are on your way now. :)

Welcome back wish. I had a break from August to December. It felt like longer and did me the power of good.

Well done on the injection badhair. How did you find it? I found the bruserelin different every day. One day it would be a stinger, the next I wouldn't feel it!

It may sound a bit weird but I'm looking forward to stabbing again!

Morning!

Had a traumatic few days with younger cousins announcing pg, had complete meltdown, why does this process have to be so hideous for some

beetle short protocol for me (PCO) so I guess I should know if I'm having a happy or sad birthday at the end of Jan!

Bugs sorry to hear about the mcs, it must be hard knowing you can get pg but not knowing why they won't stick if you see what I mean.

My journey has been relatively short compared with some (no clomid needed and paid for operation to speed things up) been off the pill 2 years in feb, hubby has low sperm count and I have PCO and endo, had lap and hyst in October.

Yay to the first injection badhair was it scary? Are you short or long?

Welcome back wish

Hello all,

Just checking in to let you know I'm still swinging between full hope and full despair. I don't know how I can get through this to be honest.

I keep thinking that maybe the embie implanted a little late or maybe the scan was too early (29 days after et, 6 weeks exactly after my lmp as I obulated at day 9 not mid cycle) and to be honest I am torturing myself. The clinic are pretty certain I was 6w4d at scan and this is no hope.

Goes to show - quality over quantity. I have supposedly very good eggs/embies and seem to get implantation easily, but they do not stick. Chromosome issue maybe? I'll have a consultant meeting in the new year.

Mrfish is struggling too - its just too much.

A very sad fish.x

Lovely Fish you WILL cope because that's what we ivfers do - we are all giving you love, cuddles and hand holds to help you (and knowing what these horrible emotions are like) but ultimately it's in you to do this - we are just the crutches that you can lean on when times get wobbly - you are strong, no matter what you think at the moment.

I have the same problem, I get handsome looking embies but they struggle or fail to implant - I had auto- immune testing and it turns out I have 'issues'. It's not cheap and it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster finding out that something is wrong but ultimately I feel better knowing and knowing that (hopefully) there's something that can be done about it (when we get to do it again that is).

Oh fish, I'm so sorry! It is going to be a terrible time but as fab said, you will get through it. We're strong enough to get this far so no matter what we'll push through until we get what we want. You and Mr F just need to stay close and look after each other.

fab for some reason my doc seems against me having auto immune tests and I can't work out why. We've said we'll pay (on nhs as the moment) but he said there's no point but everyone that has them seem to think its worth it! What do you think?

wish drs seem to be in two camps on immunes - very pro or vehemently against and think it is all rubbish. The HFEA is in the latter camp and don't say very flattering things about it on the website. It makes huge amounts of sense to me though, and ultimately, a third of infertility cases are unexplained so there is so much that cannot be explained by current mainstream tests.

It makes sense to me too euro. I don't understand why they think it's rubbish if so many cases of infertility are 'unexplained' and, from what I've read, so many cases have been solved by immune tests.
I think I'll push for them if my next from and fresh cycles fail. I know they cost ridiculous amounts of money which may come back clear anyway but I feel it's worth it.

DP had a little to drink last night and was telling me how much I mean to him and that he wants a baby with me so badly he doesn't care how it happens. He said If IVF fails then it's our fate to help a child out there who is in danger and needs us. He made me feel so positive, regardless of how this all turns out

Sorry, soppyness over with

Hello everybody. Sorry that so many of us are having bad days. I was having a great one until one of my best friends announced she was 16 weeks pregnant but was too scared to tell me. I feel a bit shit because have been bending her ear about all the pregnancy losses and IVF (and wouldn't have been so self-indulgent, has I known she was preggers herself). Sigh. Am very happy for her but could have done without her moaning how hard she was finding the pregnancy! Oh well. Another buserilin injection for me to look forward to tonight. To those of who who were asking if it was scary - no, it really wasn't. My DP did the injection for me and it was fine. It was a bit stingy afterwards and I came up in a small rash, but it was totally fine. I'm relatively okay with needles (although still don't fancy sticking them into myself!) six weeks after I had my DS I developed a severe breast abscess which I used to have to go and have drained in hospital every three days. The pain from that was so excruciating that nothing since then has ever been as bad! I feel v thirsty today though - seasoned IVFers; is that normal? X

Missed your message Wish - your DP sounds lovely. Mine is too, but is very 'Blunt Australian' about things. So glad you are feeling more positive xxx

wish what a lovely thing for your partner to say. :)

Ouch badhair that sounds nasty. Sorry about the difficult announcement. I'm glad you are finding the injections ok though.

Thanks Euro - it was truly horrendous. I managed to breastfeed through it but it was without doubt my toughest physical challenge. Just did the second injection and it was fine. Stings a bit afterwards in an itchy kind of way, but, for those of you who've yet to start injecting, it's nowt to worry about. Honest! I feel psychologically better for finally getting going with it all.

Morning!

badhair well done on having started your jabs, it feels good to be doing something proactive doesn't it? I was always really, really thirsty on buserelin and my whole body felt kind of parched and eyes were really dry too. Just make sure you drink loads of water .

wish lovely to see you back. I'm glad your tests came back normal, are you sticking with Mr D? I agree, your DP sounds lovely.

fish As I've said, so sorry you are going through this. Another hand hold from me. We are all here for you lovely, if you need us.

euro how are things with you?

waves to everyone else.

AFM, all fine. I kind of don't feel I should be posting here still as I don't want to be insensitive, but I feel a bit lost without you! The AN thread is a bit scary though and the IVF worriers almost all have babies now.

Happy Sunday girls.

Badhair congratulations on starting the stabbing. The first one is always the hardest.
Fish How are you today? I have no idea how you are coping with all this. You are one very strong lady. Hang on in there and I'm keeping everything crossed that you get good news on Thursday.
wish your DP sounds lovely. Its at times like this that you know you are with the right person.
choc nice to see you. How is everything going?
euro how are you doing? when is your OTD?

Waves to everyone else.

AFM nothing really to report. Just trying to keep busy and distracted. Had a bit of a wobble yesterday seems like yesterday was crappy for a few of us but feeling a lot more positive this morning. Have decided to POAS on Friday - would like to do it a bit earlier, but I had to do an HCG injection on Thursday and Dr. Google advises leaving it at least 7 days before testing. Aaarrrggggh!

badgirl I think dehydration is a normal side effect. As choc says, keep drinking!

choc I think it takes a lot of posters a while to move on. I straddled Conception and AN for several weeks when I got my BFP. I wasn't ready to move on. As long as you're not running round the board shouting "take that beatches!" I think it's ok for you to stay....

wannabe my OTD is Thursday (clinic blood test). I've always tested +ve at 12dpEC though, which is Tuesday, so I will probably test then. The thing is for me, even a positive won't make me happy as I have had them on all three previous rounds.

Ola all

Badhair - I drank gallons when I was IVFing - I was constantly thirsty but considered it a good think as I normally have to force myself to drink enough on a normal day. Sounds like all is going normally with the buserelin - a little stingy, a little bit itchy and pink for a bit :) You'll feel like an old pro very soon :)

Wish - what a lovely thing for your DH to say - they can get left out of this process so it's really nice when they come up trumps with wonderful things like that :)

Re: auto-immunes I really I have no idea why some docs are against it. For anyone who is in the unexplained camp I would thoroughly recommend Dr. Beer's book Is My Body Baby Friendly. It's really quite eye opening and you'll most likely read it saying yes yes yes. As far as I can see the shocking thing is that the doctors who are against it say that the docs who are for it are wasting people's money - but surely we would rather spend some money and have some idea what we are up against than go through the mental, physical and financial torture of having wasted IVFs through not testing? The fact that some docs would rather say 'it's God's will' or 'you're just unlucky' seems entirely unscientific and quite frankly pathetic in this day and age. Luckily for me, my doc is a big cheese in the world of fertility immunology and he said, following 2 IVF failures (one BFP followed by miscarriage and one BFN) that we would be wasting time and money by not testing and, following my tests and reading the book, I completely believe him. Yes it's a lot of money but significantly less than doing another round of IVF with perfect embies that could be doomed from the moment they enter my hostile womb! No amount of PMA can beat that one - it's all about the right drugs! So Euro, I hear you and am holding your hand.

Fish - how are you feeling today lovely?

Chocs, stay as long as you want - sometimes you just need to hang out with the people who know your journey :)

AFM well Dad's funeral went smoothly last week despite a few hiccups in the planning (big family - wouldn't have been normally if there weren't some disagreements!). My parents are/were both extremely religious so it was a very religious service and as I am not I could have done without the vicar saying that those without religion don't feel pain in the same way as those who are but there we go! It was an affirmation of something I don't need in my life but I have no problem with those who do. Each to their own I say.

I feel a bit of a fraud being on this group these days as we are putting off our next and final round of IVF till next March/April after our house move to give me time to get back to fighting fitness, enjoy life with my DH, deal with the house move etc., so I'm definitely not an IVFer but I'm not really quite sure where I fit in and this fred has always given me comfort. Is it ok if I lurk with occasional posting from here on in?

Apols for the super long post!

Ha ha Euro - I like being called Badgirl - makes me sound kind of sassy!! Good luck for Tuesday testing. Thinking of you, Fish xxx

Fab sorry the vicar was an insensitive twat chap. Not very Christian of him! Hope you're alright and Christmas isn't too tough this year. I'm happy for you to lurk and post if you don't mind me doing the same. I'm getting my immunology tests done this week, so off to private IVF clinic tomorrow for some and then GP on Thurs for the ones I'm allowed to get on the Spanish NHS. DP is dragging his heels getting the one he's supposed to get done, but will hopefully get it done during the Xmas hols. I've just got the Dr Beer book and I started reading it last week on the way to work, like you I was nodding away! I've no idea when we'll be doing the next round of IVF or frozen transfer. After reading the Dr Beer book, it sounds like they prefer a fresh embryo, although when we did IVF in the summer they froze my embryos because of OHSS risk. Oh well, one step at a time!

Fab I'm glad the funeral went off well. I felt the same about the religious stuff at my grandad's funeral (it was a CofE service although not too hardcore). It really upset me that this man who knew nothing of his life or his family's (none of us are regular churchgoers and I am an atheist) making all this pronouncements about the right way to mourn and making me feel that crying was wrong (I was 17 and it was my first bereavement!). Grrr. Sorry. I posted to sympathise with you, and now I am ranting! I don't understand the vicar's logic either - surely the concept of Heaven is there to give comfort to Christian believers?

I agree with you about the Dr Beer book. (Bugs, was it you I sent my copy on to? If so, it's worth a read.) Unfortunately, it doesn't say anything too helpful about the only autoimmne condition I am aware I have - Raynaud's. It puts it in category 5, the most difficult to treat. However, on all of my scans the blood flow to my follicles and womb have been good, and even on my pregnancy that ended in mc, the blood flow to the embie was good, so I'm not sure how much that is affecting things.

Please do lurk and post as much as you want. Many folks linger on here while waiting for the next step. We're planning to do our last round around March/April so we may end up being cycle buddies then.

fish how are you doing today?

Bugs, really don't worry about EC/ET - I felt like that too the first time but it really is ok (reassuring side hug time). Unless you're like that tough as nails Euro they'll put you under heavy sedation for the EC, you'll probably feel a bit woozy and achy afterwards but that's it really and ET is just a bit like having a smear but IMHO not as bad - I always feel really tense with a smear but they have to have quite a lot of wiggling time up in your food so you've got no choice but to relax really - the most difficult bit is feeling very much on display - I can remember feeling quite a breeze up there whilst they left me wide open - not the best but not actually painful. Oh and actually the worst thing is being utterly desperate for a wee!

Euro - I've got Reynaud's too - it was only when I had the tests that they found out other things and, funnily enough, there used to be nothing of any interest on t'interweb about Reynaud's but now there's much more so it's worth a look at it again. I think my blood is sluggish though to say the least so I reckon the blood thinners (aspirin and clexane) should make quite a difference for me. I am keeping everything crossed for you.

I agree with you Nobeer and Euro - it's not a very christian attitude but I guess if it helped my mum then that's a good thing - just not great for the rest of us! There is no right or wrong way to mourn, it's just whatever works for you. People can be bloody weird can't they!

Oh and Euro, whilst I love the idea that we may be cycling together in March/April, in the very best of ways I hope we won't and that you'll be in the happy zone of pregnancy by then :)

Nobeer good luck with your tests lovely and how fabulous that you can get some of them done on the Spanish NHS - how brilliant! Do you know how long your results will take to come back?

Fab It's all the routine ones I'm getting done for free, all the NK and the specific more complex ones are with the IVF clinic. I'm getting the NHS ones back on the 2nd Jan and I'm not sure about the IVF clinic. When I get all the results I'll send them to the immunologist and then have another appointment with her. So I guess I'll have the appointment with her some time in January!

Hi all - mind if I pop my head back in again .

I know many of you have been having a really tough time and I am really sorry to hear that. I'm not sure if any of you remember me but I was cycling in Oct/Nov. I got a BFN about a month ago and was devastated. I still am to be honest. I'm trying to just forget about it for a while and enjoy Christmas and mostly I am managing but I've been avoiding friends (easy as I have a busy job and lots of Christmas parties).

One major issue is my DH's brother and sister in law have just had their second baby. A day after my BFN. We still haven't gone to visit yet and his parents are now increasing the pressure on us to go. I feel sick at the thought of it - I freak out in public when I see a baby and the only way I can cope is to pretend it's not there. Even walking through John Lewis baby section (because it would have been a ridiculous detour not to) had me bursting in tears. The sound of a baby crying on the train felt like it was piercing my heart. How can I go and visit a family baby and go through all those emotions with everyone watching me? I don't know how I'd cope if I had to hold it.

I realise this sounds ridiculous

We probably will be doing FET in Feb but I don't hold out much hope.
Xx

Hi Thoughtfulone - sorry to hear you are finding things so tough. I totally empathise. I've lost three pregnancies this year - one to a miscarriage and two to Ectopics, which meant I had to have both my tubes removed and I still find it very tough seeing pregnant people, particularly since all of my friends seem to be pregnant right now. One of my really good friends had her baby in August, just after my most recent ectopic and tube removal and I was just dreading seeing her and her baby. Truth was though, that it was much easier than I thought. Yes, I did well up and cry, but then people often get emotional when they see babies and my friend understood. Your brother-in-law and his wife will understand too. Don't be too harsh on yourself. I bet you will handle it better than you think you will. The minute I saw my friend's baby, I realised that she wasn't 'my baby' which made it easier to cope with. Sending virtual hugs ((((. )))))