TTC no 3? Anyone just started / about to start / about to start thinking about it?

[bonzo77]

I am absolutely not going to go nuts about it this time like I did for no 2. Because my kids have each other and won't be alone looking after their ancient parents in years to come. But a 3rd would be a bonus. And part of me doesn't care either way, and another part cannot wait for a lovely little snuggly new born. And part of me is enjoying getting my nights back, and my body, and is worried about the money, the lack of bedrooms, the need for a bigger car, having another miscarriage, or high risk pregnancy, a 3rd CS, a baby in intensive care. But then 5 months of no contraception and nothings happening..... The baby is 11 months, and we said we'd start putting more effort in once he is 1....

Anyone in the same boat? Want to hang out and worry / pretend not to worry?

Yes the third is a luxury isn't it? I have one of each but want to ttc with new husband.

We agreed to start in July but both of us have been very lax with condoms. ie still in wrapper

I think I did ovulate in the last few days, so could be pg?

My implant came out 2 weeks ago, I've been broody for months, and though we had decided to stop at 2 DC, i desperately want another. DH has forms to fill in for a vasectomy and I feel like time is running out.

First pregnancy was fine until i went into labour. I started bleeding horribly, it was placenta praevia (sp?) so emergency csec

2nd was ok, but horrific spd in the last trimester.

I know I should be happy with the 2 wonderful DC i have already, and all I really can say in favour of a 3rd is that I want one. We're in a 2 bed flat so space is an issue, though we have been looking at moving

I guess I just need someone to tell me I should suck up my wants. I don't need another child, i just really really want one. I should concentrate on my 2 dc (5 and 3.2) shouldn't I. I should enjoy the life me and my family have instead of pining for another.

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this. I know its something DH and I have to decide for ourselves, but we keep backwarding and forwarding about it. My main concern is how this pregnancy could affect me, I know every one is different but i'm worried that my history could make it very bad.

should add 2nd preg was a c-section (elec)

My 2 Dcs were also born by c section. They're now 6&4. Hopefully a 3rd section will be ok.

Mine were sections as well. The first was emergency and quite traumatic. The 2nd was elective and a much better experience! I'm hoping a third will be ok too. Pregnancy has been a breeze both times so hopefully it will be again. Does anyone feel like you're pushing your luck with a third pregnancy, good labour and a healthy baby? I always used to think this but I'm pushing it to the back of my mind now we are going to do it! It WILL be fine! ;)
Zombie; if you're anything like me, even if someone told me it wasn't a good idea, I'd still want it! Only you two can decide. And other peoples opinions are based on what they want and what they think is acceptable for them so I try not to take too much notice. My mum is against people having three children. She thinks the dynamics are wrong, one always gets left out, you can't afford three etc etc. I haven't told her we are trying as I know what she'll say. It's right for our family, we have room for another and it will complete our family so I'll smile and nod when she tells me I shouldn't but I don't really listen!
I'm on day 17 and still not sure I've ov'd yet. I'm going to keep going until after CD20 as my cycles were always long. I've had spotting in between and either period pains or ov pains, I can't decide which, arghhh! Xx

Yeah I used to worry about the luck pushing thing but I won't let it hold me to random. I know people who have had complications whether it's their first or 5th. There must be enough babies to go round!

I've just ordered some cheapy pg tests on amazon. Will test on Easter Monday. Obviously unless AF shows up!

Just got a bfn but still having pg symptoms. Tbf I've never tested this early before. Will test again in the morning.

Oohhh Max; when are you due AF? How exciting, I'm crossing my fingers for you! Let us know how you get on.
I'm officially in the 2WW. Ovulated yesterday so I'm hoping we've done enough. To be fair, I've never been able to plan babies, and they have both taken 4 months so it would be extremely lucky to be the first month. And a Christmas baby which wouldn't be ideal but what will be will be! Xx

Another bfn this morning but still no af. Will see what happens during the week and if no af test again on Friday.

Af arrived :-( feel bad for getting dhs hopes up. The only times I've had pg symptoms I've been pregnant so I felt pretty confident. But cest la vie. Here's to next month.

Sorry to hear that max. I completely know how you feel about getting your hopes up.

I thought I would pop back in to update. I haven't been around since Feb as we are not trying yet. I would love a third straight away but dh is taking some convincing. A few days ago he said that he is open to the idea of trying next year and recently we have not been using much contraception so things are looking up for me

Oh max, it's poo isn't it. I've had that before... AF late, "symptoms", bfn then AF arrives. You get your hopes right up.

Cd27 here. Feeling neither pregnant nor premenstual. Which means nothing. I don't think we dtd at the right time this month anyway. Otoh previous experience suggests that making appointments to investigate results in a BFP. Sometimes without actually seeing the doctor. And I did see the gp to get the ball rolling last week, so who knows.

Hello - just posted on another TTC thread to but thought I'd pop by and say hello here too. Just decided to go for number 3 (well, I wanted to years ago...). Am 39 and eldest is 6, youngest is 4 1/2. Want to get pregnant soon so I can sneak my last baby in before I'm 40. Only started trying a few days ago though so we'd have to be extremely lucky to get pregnant this cycle. (Technically possible as think ovulated yesterday!)

Anyway - hello!

Zombie - it's not fair for your husband to get a vasectomy if you still want a third. You need to use reversible contraception... My husband originally wanted 3 under 3 (!!) then went off the idea for 4 years. He's only just changed his mind - he knows how much it means to me and he's a brilliant Dad (and loving being one particularly at the moment). I'm not saying your husband will change his mind but he might. The only advice I'd give is let it settle - don't mention it for a while but do say that you really don't want him to get a vasectomy yet.

Really sorry Max, bloody Sod's law isn't it! I've done that a few times over the years and been genuinely shocked when AF arrives, I thought it was in the bag!

Bono, fingers crossed that does the trick. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

Hi beginner, I'm in the same boat in that I've just managed to convince my DH to try for a third, he def took some convincing but we're there now and this is our first cycle too. It's not looking hopeful for me though as my body is doing really weird things to me since coming off the pill. I've had Ov pains for about 10 days now, thought it actually ov'd on CD 18, pleased with my self as DTD CD14, 16 & 18. Couldn't yesterday as DH not here (CD20) you guessed it, I Ov'd then! Change in cm so I'm sure it was then and had pains as well. Damn it! So, I'll DTD tonight and hope that 2 days before will catch. God it's tricky! Xx

*Bonzo! Xx

Hi passthebiscuits! 2 days before is ideal, isn't it?? So the sperm is ready and waiting (and already travelled to where it needs to be) when the egg pops out? Fingers crossed for you anyway....!

Beginner; after googling I think it is! ;) you'd think I'd be pretty clued up after having two before but I thought it was better to DTD on the day of ovulation but it says everywhere that 2 days before is the best day to do it as you say, the sperm will be ready for the egg. I remember when we were TTC my second, we also missed the day of ov, must have done it either the day before or 2 days before, that produced my DD so I don't know why I didn't remember that. Although Google did say that doing it on that day produces girls! My girl is a total whirlwind, although gorgeous and sweet, so kind of hoping for a more chilled third!! ;) we'll see, fingers crossed.

Anyway, we can be in the 2ww together! Xx

Great - like having a 2ww buddy! I have one of each already too but DS is the whirlwind (never ever stops talking but is v sweet/sensitive and sticks to the rules!) and DD is quietly feisty. She's always been an AMAZING sleeper though so would love to get another one like that... Any sort is fine by me if it's healthy though. DS didn't sleep through until he was 3 1/2... Used to regularly wake between 4.30 and 5.00, no matter what we did, and then start looking a bit tired at about 8.15 when the nanny turned up and we went to work.... T'was v tough!!

Right - am NOT going to obsess. And not testing until bank holiday Monday. Restrained by my standards .

A ha, it's amazing how different they are isn't it! My first is so chilled, v calm and laid back and always sticks to the rules! My second is feisty and a rule breaker in every way. She's gorgeous tho, just much harder work!

Yes, by going off when I ov'd, I'm due AF 26th April! At least it's Easter this weekend, that'll take my mind off it as it'll be a busy one! Xx

passthebiscuits and beginner good luck with the 2ww.

Af just arrived. DH has gone from "take it or leave it" and being interested in how fertile I am to saying he really does not want a third. He's even talking about a vasectomy. I'm really quite upset about the change of mind. It's all about the money. We do all right, we'll do even better when I go back to work more days. Which is not practical till all kids are in school. I see his point, and it would be sooner if I got pregnant more easily. It's going to take some coming to terms with. Worried that if I end up pregnant he'll resent me, and if we don't continue to try then I'll resent him. But trying in itself is pretty emotionally draining anyway. Sigh....

Oh bonzo... I have an idea how ou must feel... DH and I always talked about having 3 (or 4) then he changed his mind when I said I was ready for number 3 (which was when number 2 was about 14 months). He said he thought 3 under 3 would be good . And the only reason he changed his mind was financial. Again, we do alright but money obviously goes further if you only have 2 children. Part of the reason I am anxious to get pregnant quickly is I don't want him to change his mind...

I suggest not talking about it too much. Feigning ignorance about your cycle (in a 'I'm so chilled out about this, what will be, will be...' way). And not worrying about his reaction. People rarely regret having a baby. I know a few people who regret not having had more. Of course it is harder with a third in lots of ways but your DH will be chuffed to bits and love a third very much if one arrives.

Good luck... At least you won't have a Christmas baby - my bro and sis have them and they are always fed up as birthday celebrations are never as good on the back of boozy Christmas and NYE ones. (Plus they often get just one 'bigger' present rather than separate ones.)

Bonzo; I'm so sorry Hun. I def agree with beginner in that maybe you shouldn't talk about it if you can help it. That's the approach I'm taking. My DH has agreed but it still freaks him out slightly to talk about 'the third' so I try not to mention it in passing too much. He's agreed and is happy with the decision but we always agreed two so he's still getting his head round it.
Also, I never tell him when my most fertile time is, I don't want that to freak him out either. If it takes longer that way then that's fine, I don't want the pressure of TTC to get in the way.
I really hope you can change his mind or by not mentioning it too much, and if you seem chilled, he won't be upset by your reaction and want to protect you from the heartache of not getting pregnant. Men are tricky aren't they?! Enjoy some wine over the Easter break and enjoy your DH and try and forget all about this for a week or so. Xx

Sorry to hear that bonzo. It's hard when the men in out lives don't want the same as us. I can understand how you feel because dh went from definitely wanting a 3rd and 4th, to only wanting a 3rd, to not even wanting to talk about a 3rd, and now back again to being open to the idea. It is difficult when you build a picture of your future in your mind and then it doesn't work out. I feel like I have been stuck in limbo for the past 2 years, not knowing if we are coming or going.

I completely agree with the others about the softly softly approach. That is what I am doing too. Over time we have slowly gone from always using contraception, to sometimes not using, to only using it occasionally and recently not at all. We are not officially trying and not dtd any more than normal but not really preventing either. I am worried that if I start piling on the pressure dh will get stressed and revert back to using contraception again. I don't tell him when I am ovulating and never talk about the 2ww. Obviously he knows that I want a baby but I try not to mention it too often and just keep my fingers crossed. I think if I do get a bfp one of these days he will be happy and accept that it was meant to be.

Bonzo; how's things with you?

I'm now 10dpo and checking my boobs constantly to see if they're sore! ;) what a loser! They are sore but not as much as they should be if I was pg so thinking it's not looking so good for me so far. Maybe they will get worse over the next few days, fingers crossed!

How's everyone else doing? Anyone clock watching in the 2ww like me?

Xx