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Original poster

TTC no 3? Anyone just started / about to start / about to start thinking about it?

461 replies

bonzo77 · 06/11/2013 14:59

I am absolutely not going to go nuts about it this time like I did for no 2. Because my kids have each other and won't be alone looking after their ancient parents in years to come. But a 3rd would be a bonus. And part of me doesn't care either way, and another part cannot wait for a lovely little snuggly new born. And part of me is enjoying getting my nights back, and my body, and is worried about the money, the lack of bedrooms, the need for a bigger car, having another miscarriage, or high risk pregnancy, a 3rd CS, a baby in intensive care. But then 5 months of no contraception and nothings happening..... The baby is 11 months, and we said we'd start putting more effort in once he is 1....

Anyone in the same boat? Want to hang out and worry / pretend not to worry?

OP posts:
Original poster
bonzo77 · 24/01/2014 14:59

Thanks molotov. As a medical person I understand that tests without an intention to treat would be a waste of time and money. I'm not sure what treatment I'd want to undergo. Certainly paying for IUI or IVF is off the cards. I'd rather spend the money on the kids we've got that trying to make another one. If it were a case of me not ovulating, or some hormone defect, or blockages that could be dealt with relatively easily, I think we would try.

The thought of the tests you describe doesn't bother me really. Apart from the HSG they're all part of what I've had done as part of routine gynae and miscarriage care. DH already did a SA when we were struggling last time (I got pg that month)! I read that There's some anecdotal evidence that suggests that the HSG has some therapeutic value in "flushing" the reproductive tract. TBH with 2 CS and a query over a previous history of endo (I'm not convinced), I wouldn't be surprised if it showed adhesions.

As for counselling... It's something I should pursue for myself anyway, irrespective of TTC. It's very much on my to do list, and once I get some childcare sorted for ds2 it'll be adressed pronto.

OP posts:
MolotovCocktail · 24/01/2014 19:43

Yeah, I think counselling is valuable. I felt consumed by guilt by the idea thst dd1 sonwhow wasn't 'enough' for us. It took me over a year to reconcile that most people don't even have to consider this; that most people just get pg.

But then, I think too much. And if I am completely honest, I compare myself too much to others. Who knows what really goes on with other people?

Meanwhile, I took my first folic acid supplement today. If I am going to consider another pg aroubd spring, better prepare now ...

MrsKent · 25/01/2014 09:08

Hi Ladies,
Hope you don't mind me joining, it's my first time ever commenting on MN.
I have two gorgeous children and I'm ttc a third.
My two first pregnancies were unexpected so I thought this time when trying it would happen really quickly... But hasn't yet... And I am finding I'm struggling with the wait! A lot!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 27/01/2014 13:14

Welcome MrsKent!

Molotov and bonzo, I haven't made a GP app - I have been kind of thinking, what's the point? I don't want any invasive tests. I don't want to have IVF. It would be different if it were No. 1 or 2. But No.3? I will just be happy with what I've got. Which I am, of course!

Infact, DH keeps mumbling about perhaps it's a blessing in disguise (and I have to admit I do, when DS2 continues to wake me up in the middle of the night at age 3!!).

But dtd'ing has started nonetheless. It is CD11 for me and I'll think I'll use the ov sticks again (just to use them up really as I always know when I'm ov'ing anyway). Good luck!

BobaFetaCheese · 28/01/2014 10:17

Joining up, lots of ttc1/2 threads around here...not very many 3+ Grin

Bonzo, I've found Taking Charge of your Fertility to be an excellent book for everything plumbing related, I've learnt so much from it and found it useful for when we're NOT trying (use natural family planning as contraception).

Sorry to here about you mmc Teresa.

inadreamworld · 28/01/2014 10:42

Interesting book Boba might read that - especially as use natural family planning too.

AF 2 days late but won't test for a week or so as has been late in the past occasionally and not been pregnant. Haven't been trying for that long as DD2 is only just turned one! I find it takes a while for cycles to become regular again after giving birth - even though I wasn't able to breastfeed either of my children.

Tranquilitybaby · 01/02/2014 23:46

Little update from me, I've got noone else to talk to as nobody knows how I've been feeling. DH and I have been talking things over for the last couple of days and today he said he's feeling more positive about possibly trying for no. 3!

He said he's going to think about it some more but if we do he wants to start just before we go on holiday in July. Eek! Is it normal to feel scared now?!

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 03/02/2014 13:27

tranquility - yes, very normal! Every month I think "is this really what we want?"!

Well, 2WW wait for me now...

busyDays · 03/02/2014 14:22

Congrats Tranquility!! That sounds really positive. I bet it is only a matter of time now before he completely caves in. Grin

I'm still working on dh and hoping he will come around to the idea of ttc soon. I was going to throw an old baby item out the other day and he said we should keep it as we might need it for number 3, so I'm feeling quite hopeful.

maxpower · 03/02/2014 18:15

God, this 2ww has gone on for about a year. .... and still another week to go.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 08/02/2014 10:47

What are people up to? bonzo, have not heard anything from you for a while - everything OK? Or perhaps you have some news to share...?

Nothing new here - I definitely do not feel pg! The only odd thing I have had this month is some spotting a couple of days after ov, which doesn't normally happen. I usually spot on day 10 or so, which also happened, but not after ov'ing. But I think that would be too early for implantation, so was probably just that - a bit of spotting! I guess implantation time would be about now, but I don't have any niggles or anything. No sore boobs etc. So I expect AF on Valentines Day (how romantic).

maxpower, when is your AF (or bfp!) due?

OffAgain · 08/02/2014 12:23

Hello! New to all of this and feeling very excited as we have decided (almost definitely) that we would like TTC no 3. We have DD 11 and DS 8 and have been thinking about this for a long time!
BUT....We have booked a holiday to Florida for Apr 2015 with my brother and his wife who don't have kids and are mega excited about taking us and the kids to Disneyworld (they are paying for some of the trip) so....I wanted to ask you all do I
a) get to it with the very rare chance that I will fall preg straight away and have a 3 month old by the time we go (is that crazy???)
b) wait for 8 months before trying and hopefully go there pregnant (worried about my ageing eggs as it is!)

Either way I know they will be cheesed off as it will change the dynamic of the holiday completely and I will be so worried about telling them. But I also know that I can't make a major decision based on a 2 week holiday.

I'm 38 this year and if we don't get pregnant within a coupe of months I hate the thought of then having to stop ttc for 6 months so that I am still able to fly/not about to have a baby! I don't want to deny my kids this holiday as they are great kids and we may not be able to afford to do it again. What would you do??

Tranquilitybaby · 08/02/2014 15:18

OffAgain - we are very similar too, I have children 11 and 8 but are off to the USA this summer so I'm currently trying to decide whether to says sod and TTC now of wait until nearer holiday!

Oh btw he said yes, DH is really keen to get started now! Can't believe the change in him! X

Hope everyone else is really well x

Tranquilitybaby · 08/02/2014 15:19

Oh and OffAgain get to it, a 3 month old is Florida will be easy!! Good luck

My issue is do I want to be possibly 20 weeks plus gp when we go really.

OrangeFizz99 · 08/02/2014 15:24

offagain - id say go for it, the issue wouldnt be having a three month old baby but being in the bit of pg when you cant fly. Are the dates flexible in any way should that be the case? Or you could start trying now and then skip a few months if it doesn't happen straight away?

OrangeFizz99 · 08/02/2014 15:25

You wouldn't have to stop for six months though I don't think? Maybe 3 tops?

OrangeFizz99 · 08/02/2014 15:26

Also wouldn't worry about db and sil at all!

Will stop posting now!

OffAgain · 08/02/2014 16:35

Thanks OrangeFizz99 and Tranquilitybaby! I know I shouldn't worry about what brother says but I just know they will be upset that it won't quite be the holiday they had planned if I'm lucky to either be pregnant or have very small baby! I feel so nervous now that we have finally made a decision- things are so easy now, holidays are easy with min baggage etc. lie ins at the weekend...but then I think that's all overrated and I have years to enjoy lie ins!
Tranquilitybaby nice to hear someone with similar age gap who is taking the plunge again!!

busyDays · 08/02/2014 21:03

Tranquility - That's great news. I think you should just go for it. I've been to America on holiday twice while pregnant and it was all fine!

OffAgain - I wouldn't want to wait that long before trying. Young babies travel surprisingly well and I'm sure you would still have a fab trip. You might end up resenting the holiday if you let it get in the way of things.

I'm having a super anxious 2ww. We are not officially ttc yet because dh wants to wait a bit longer, but we sort of accidentally dtd without protection the day before I ovulated. I know the chances of getting pregnant from one cycle are slim but I can't help feeling hopeful. The trouble is, if I don't get pregnant it is not like I can just move on and try again next month, as I would have to convince dh to start ttc first! AF is due on Monday and time is dragging soooooo slowly. I tested this morning and got a bfn so it probably won't be my lucky month, but I just can't get it out of my head. Someone slap me please!!! I really feel like I'm losing my mind here!

maxpower · 08/02/2014 21:17

cake and busy my cycles can be a few days out but I'm working on the principle af is due Monday. Because my cycle can be variable I'll probably wait til next weekend to test if nothing happens. I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it!

busyDays · 09/02/2014 08:40

max - you are so much stronger than me. I'm going to try to hold out testing for one or two more days but even that will be really difficult.

maxpower · 09/02/2014 16:08

Well af arrived today - as I said my cycle can vary by a few days. Well at least I can enjoy a guilt free vodka tonight!

busyDays · 09/02/2014 18:25

Sorry to hear that max. Hope you enjoy the vodka. Smile
I have a bottle of wine waiting in the fridge so I have something to look forward to if af arrives.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 09/02/2014 19:24

Bad luck max.

I am bad as I don't avoid a drink during the 2WW. Perhaps my chances of conceiving would be better if I did. (I don't mean binge drinking, just 1 or 2 glasses of an evening, a couple of times a week). I guess part of me worries that I wont be able to drink for another 9 months if I am pg, so better to be ignorant and enjoy my last few!

No pg symptoms though, so I may as well enjoy my wine guilt free.

maxpower · 09/02/2014 19:41

Tbh the rational part of me knew it wouldn't work first time given how long it's try the last 2 pgs so I'm ok with it.