Hope you're recovered from your HSG, Minnie , and that you get your AF soon, Wishy (which seems like an odd thing to hope if taken out of context!!!)
I've had two counselling sessions now - the first was good; but was half about the counsellor explaining how things work. This week's session was a lot more of a challenge. Towards the end the counsellor played devil's advocate, asking all these difficult questions about doing AI the non-clinic way, and about the risks and complications around it all. It's stuff I've thought of before, but it's easier to tell myself that yes there are risks but there are ways of minimising them, than it is to put those thoughts into words when talking to someone.
Ultimately, the one thing I keep coming back to the same point in my mind - I want a child, more than anything I have ever wanted. I don't want a relationship, and think it would be by far the wrong thing to try to force myself into a male-female relationship just to get to my goal. Which leaves me taking things into my own hands, and unless something dramatically changes with my finances, I just don't have the money right now to be able to afford going to a clinic. So I'm doing it the hard way. And I'm ok with that - I just don't know how to explain why I'm ok with that. I suppose I feel that the end justifies the means, and that there will always be risks, no matter which path you take... So yeah, the counselling left me a bit emotional, but no less determined. I'll continue going to the counselling for, probably, the rest of the year, as I do find it helpful to have a room where I can go and talk to a person and get these challenging questions, and then can walk away at the end of the hour.
Donor picking sounds fun! Do you have pictures? Or is it just a profile of basic info?
I'm trying not to get too disheartened yet about the non-responses - there's still plenty of time before the beginning of next year, so am in no rush. I've bought 20 message credits on Pride Angel so I'll use them up, if I can find that many eligible donors, and then start looking around for other donor sites. As much as I would desperately love to rush into this and get pregnant as soon as possible, I keep reminding myself that there's still time, and there's no need for rushing!