Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Dr Zings science lesson! It's an educational thread this one and I like it!
I hung out with one of my friends who gave birth 3 months ago, yesterday. What an utter joy he was. Very chilled out, babies don't usually like me but this one did, I was amazed. Though to be fair, he'd had his 2nd lot of jabs that day and he was probably very out of it haha,
She said he never sleeps for more than 10 mins a time in the daytime, bloody thing was zonked out.
Said to her she was just trying o garner sympathy haha, she did look tired though poor thing. Her husband isn't being the most helpful at the moment.
It's that which scares the bejesus out of me, the tiredness. I LOVE sleep. Aside from baking it's what I do best. If there was a gold medal in the Olympics for sleeping, I'd win for team GB every time...
Gawd knows what a baby will do to me...

dulcet the wedding thing was me ..... brother getting married in june in America had to get pregnant before September or give up till the new year.

Unless there are two wedding's hindering people's pregnancy wants. Snap

minion

@ Dr.Zing!

I think prof. Zing would suit me better!

I actually have a lab coat!

prof zing science extrodinaire and mascot of the thread. love it!

I'm thinking I could juice the pineapple core, would that work?

just stocked up on pregnacare for both of us. 3 for 2 in Tesco.

curly it sounds like you may need a gentle hooya? deep breath girl. its shit but we will all get there in time. don't forget there is only a 20% chance each month even if you time everything perfectly. why are you taking a break until new year? hugs to you

AHA! I found the answer in my fantastic book about pineapple cores. of course, where else?!

yes, my dear lil, you may puree or juice thine pineapple core!

in other words, why the fuck not?

Smugly eating my pineapple as I type. Not easy with only two hands!

Knew there was a wedding on here somewhere cookie. Selfish buggers these relatives are!

We too shall be giving up the JSing for two months if it doesn't happen this time. Don't want to be popping a sprog out on the day of my SIL wedding!

I have four days to go until ERTD/BFP and im keeping my fingers crossed! Breadsticks are giving me the right gip.....

dons her cozzie and joins you all in the pity jacuzzi

curly I'm having the same thing, lots of weeing, tossing and turning with vivid and disturbing dreams, the other night I was only half dozing because I had such a sore boob... I'm not getting my hopes up, it's probably just stress.

My manager is retiring and I know her position will be advertised, I am really torn now about applying - the job environment is a big aggravating and I'm really looking forward to going part time and working freelance from home, but I know I'll get pressure from my mom if I don't. I just don't know what's the right thing to do atm...

Ok, is anyone a runner on here? Not that i'm a runner as such but I do run. Well jog. Anyway, I have an exercise/cm related question that google isn't proving very helpful for.

alohomora, I am sure you will get lots of different advice about this but here's my opinion - don't go for a job you don't really want. If you get it then you will be stuck doing a job you don't enjoy and if you don't you have had the stress of an application and job internviews for nothing. I have had a few opportunities to move up a grade here but I an not going to do it for a job I know I won't like. I am happy staying where I am being paid ess to do something I don't hate! Also, where the decision won't negatively affect your entitlements, don't let TTC make the decision for you. If an opportunity had come up when I first started, and I wanted it, and I didin't because of TTC then I would have missed out for nothing cos I could have been in the job nearly 18 months without getting pregnant and it wouldn't have matter. (if that makes sense!)

Just adding myself as I forgot to pm you zing - hope you are feeling a bit better?

Name: Pizza
TTC #2 since Feb 2013

Name: Zing
Children: yes
TTC since Aug 2013

Name:Curly
off pill since Nov 2012
TTC #1 since Mar 2013

Name: Fox
TTC #1 since Dec 2012

Name: Bearfacedchic
Kinder? Nooooo
Ttc #1 since forever it feels like but actually August 2011. Currently undergoing investigayshons.

Name: AQuarkTooFar
No Kids
Ttc #1 since nov 2012

Name: lil1ady
Dcs: no
TTC: #1 since Nov 12

Name: Fifi669
One DS
TTC#2 since April 13

Name: dulcetmoans
No kids
TTC: march 2012 with break

Name: BroodyTroody
Ttc #1 since Feb 2013

Name: Redshoes56
No kids
TTC: Hmm....May 2012. Also being poked by the FBI (f*ing barren investigation)

Name: minion
Kids: not for the lack of trying
TTC: officially the 1st jan but that's when I was ignorant and thought you get up duffed any time willy nilly, so let's say the 1st may

Name: alohomora
Kids: Two cats and a dog
TTC: This is cycle three

Name: AuntieMaggie
TTC: June 2013

Name: CivicBlue1
Ttc #2 since June 2013
1 dd aged 16

Name: ChubbyKitty
Off pill since April 2013
Ttc since August 2013
No kids

Name: Nessalina
Status: lurker and supporter, former viroid and currently enjoying 1st trimester with DC#1

Name : cookielove
Status: lurker and stalker who likes an eye on viroids for cheering on purposes
also in 1st trimester with DC#1

Name: FurryScoob
TTC #1 since July 2013

Name: Stepawayfromthezebras
TTC #1 Since August 2013

Name: Essie
TTC #1 since Dec 2012, cycle 10

I am actually traumatised. I went to go to the (unisex - nuff said) loo at work and one of the blokes was on the bog and hadn't locked the door and I bowled in needing a wee. Etched onto my retinas now is the image of him on said bog with one hand down his doodah and the other scrolling through his mobile phone. Thank you for that mate! Just what I needed. Yuk.

and when you have that BFP I expect you shall aspire for him/her to be like Quinoa

essie I just shrieked with laughter, I am so sorry, you will never be able to unsee that!

dulcet Thanks for the advise, I am leaning the same way, but I'll have to digest the whole situation a bit.

Isn't quinoa something you eat??

That's awful essie! Why are there unisex toilets anyway?!? Men are too proud of their bodily functions!

Dulcet

yes it is a grain

but click on link, it's a good 'un

Oh, I did click! Just was sure I had seen that word before. Some of those children look irritating, is that wrong to say? haha! Loving the comments with the pictures though.

hi viriods!

back from holiday and going on a health kick, cutting down on caffine and aiming to eat better and get mkre active to lose weight. DP wants to too so hopefully we can keep each other on track. Really let myself go healthwise recently.

essie that's hilarious, your poor eyes, but poor guy caught in the act!

Sorry to hear so many of you are in the pity pool. DP and I had a row last night too, se recurrent thing aboyr his temper with DS. Beginning to wonder if bringing a baby into the mix is the right thing, dp is easily stressed out I think he's depressed.

Professor Zing do kiwi fruit have the same effect as pineapple core? They stop jelly setting & there must be some good reason to eat the stupid furry fruit!

AF's due Sunday so sod eating fruit, I'm stocking up on chocolate & vodka

Good evening Viroids, this is your professor is speaking.

I'm allergic to kiwi fruits, therefore they are dead to me.

Once we were seriously considering to relocate to NZ for 2 years (job opportunity for DH) and I had planned to wear a t-shirt with the print: "I hate kiwis!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must retire to my study, but I'll ensure that my assistant Zing will do some related research and provide you with an answer.

hey viroids, just checking in, having a nose about
congrats BroodyTrudy!

good to see you all still shagging

so Mrs Zing - nice to see you're TTC now! you began as our general wellwisher
best of luck to you all

An feck the witch is here, the spotting has started, she is four days early!

That will be us on our two month break From ttc then.

Quarks jacuzzi, it's pity jacuzzi now!

sorry to hear though how disappointing!

I think you should carry on JSing on the assumption that Sod's law works really well..

Ah cool a jacuzzi - perfect.

I really don't want to risk giving birth around sil wedding so will defo be having 2 m

.....months off. We will use 2 months to lose weight and get healthier, both me and Dh!

good plan. I was only teasing you, sorry

I bought the 2Conception" tablets from the Pregnacare range. I think I'm getting old and run down and some extra vitamins & minerals will do me good.

Sorry zing I didn't mean to sound so snappy, ah ttc is just not as simple as I thought it would be.

Maybe law of Sod might be worth a shot!