Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Does pineapple help with implantation?! I just read a comment on another thread that implied it did. I'm off to sainsburys!

Minion - glad he's slowly getting on board. It took a few months for mine to take it seriously and try as appropriate (ie. EOD and in fertile time!) but last week he even came to docs with me so I think he's totally on board now. Takes them longer to realise it might not be as easy as they thought!

so sorry downstairs. I also had a blighted ovum I June I was 9 weeks but measured 6 with no heartbeat. You will be on a rollercoaster of emotions right now.

Just scaring myself with doc google just now as af was bright orange yesterday, weird!! In process of changing gp but worried about so many cycle related things right now.

Oh downstairs, I didn't say much before because I wasn't sure I understood what had happened but now I do. So sorry! Hope you're being looked after.

Downstairs We'll keep some ready for you when you feel ready to come back, big hugs!

Well, I was supposedly icing beginning of the week, we managed to dtd Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday and yesterday, so not doing too badly! Will see what happens. Now for TWOT and crazy symptom spotting behaviour.

The whole thing wasn't made easier by lots of house viewings after work, we might have found what we were looking for but can't view it until next Tuesday so it'll be a few more restless nights.

Sorry to hear what you're going through downstairs

Well last night I was sick in the night and then this morning brown discharge so who knows what the hell is going on with my body but like zing its not been long since my period.

Did I hear grapefruit helped with conception too dulcet?

downstairs

CD 10 here, OPKs at the ready, building up to a capeathon....

Whats the deal with opks? Are they for one off use like pregnancy tests?

downstairs that's utterly shit. take the time you need and come back to us when your ready, or feel free to take over the pity pool! try and focus on something positive, like you know you can conceive. I'm sure you'll catch another egg soon enough and all this will be behind you. hugs

who asked about pineapple.... its the core you need to eat during icing. never tried it myself, I don't eat fruit if I can help it! not heard of grapefruit one tho yuck

ertd has now f'd off so will get back to DTD next week after dh has done his fertility test. had to laugh when I opened the box, reminded me of stuff you had for a school science experiment!

oh and I swear I'm going to punch the next person to ask me if I'm going to have a baby/pregnant! today it was "any news?" whilst hand gesturing a pregnant belly....if I was f*ing pregnant I wouldn't tell you before the scan and by then I'd be shouting it from the rooftops so give me a break and DO ONE WOULD YOU!!!

Rant over, thanks

Downstairs hugs and for you.

A little google has told me that pineapple apparently helps implantation so should be eaten in TWOT. Not before ov though as it can create an acidic atmosphere for the spermies. So, I learnt something new today. Nothing about grapefruit though. That can be my next google.

Oh the questions lil, people just don't think. With some people I do debate saying "well actually we have been trying for months" just to see what they say!

Zing I've pm'd you with my details - ttc #1 since August - good luck everyone! AF's due in a week, we'd decided we were only going to see what happened if I came off the pill and not have any great expectations but I'm getting broodier and broodier! x

Its grapefruit juice - apparently thins the mucus so helps conception. Its also a good source of iron and folate in pregnancy. HOWEVER it messes with some medications so best check that first!

step

got it! and fx for you.

I've been feeling so sick all day from this bloody cold I thought "hmmm, what if?"
so I just had to POAS - BFN of course, as expected.

I've hardly eaten, because I feel nauseous soon after and feel just exhausted. today made me doubt if we should TTC.
we have got kids already after all, so why push our luck?
I'm worried how I would cope with yet another pg.
sorry, probably sounds an unfair thing to whinge about - the last thing I want is to upset any of you in any way.
but I feel really weird now and a bit down about this.
I can't talk to DH, he is away.

zing try not to over think everything and just see how you feel once you get over your cold.

trying to decide if I want a baby enough to eat pineapple core....probably adds pineapple to shopping list

More hugs for you downstairs - we are here when you are ready!

Oh zing girl, I agree with lil - see how you are feeling when you aren't sick. Being ill can play tricks on our minds. And you can whinge all you want, no harm, we all do it!

It is the bromelain in the pineapple core that's apparently good for implantation. I am not sure I can start munching on parts of the pineapple I usually throw away! (I do love pineapple, though.) You can buy it as an extract/vitamin too, I think. Maybe that's better. Wash it down with some pineapple juice

lil, aren't people dumb and ridiculous and insensitive? I really just don't understand it. Makes me crazy. Next time, say, "No, but we are just having so much fun practicing - last night we did it in !" They'll never ask again

Sorry for my late-night rant yesterday. He issued a Big Apology this morning and we had make-up sex of the plastic cup variety this morning. Fingers crossed for better results this time....

Sorry downstairs to you

I've just caught up with the Fred all 4 pages I'd missed!

Was sure I was in with a good chance this month dtd loads, stayed calm tempted fate didn't use contraband, for the last week I've had to get up for a wee about 4am an then I can't get back to sleep I've also had loads of vivid dreams/nightmares! So I catch and dip when I get up for a pee at 4am and..... BFN its officially I'm probably barren! Have decided that come December me and OH with be debt free except mortgage and so we can have lots of spare money and just be a selfish childless couple with extravagant things :-/

I'm straight in the pity pool we are now giving TTC up until the new year :-/ thanks mr sod for naff all

oh curly honey, don't say that you are barren, you don't know for sure.. do you?
(makes space in the pity jacuzzi - too cold for pool now!)

have you been to gp or fertility clinic yet? I don't know what to suggest.
is there really no hope?

Sorry to hear that curly, although does sound like no ERTD yet? And you know we like to have hope under she gets here!

I agree with the viroids zing, can't make decisions like that when you feel rubbish. You don't know what to think. Give yourself some recovery time first.

Liking the sound of a pity jaccuzzi but selfishly hoping I don't end up there this month!

I had pineapple yesterday and I have some today. Might not be the core but it's something. I don't mind eating the core anyway. Bit hard but it's alright!

pineapple with a sprinkling of salt is delish!
and it stops me from having my mouth getting sore (like from eating walnuts)

and I don't know if the core has more bromelain then flesh, but the flesh does have a fair amount - which is why you can't put pineapples in jelly!
it won't set.
the bromelain breaks down the long chains in the structure that normally form to make the jelly set.

thanks for support, you lot are fab!

I'm going to force myself to make some chicken soup.

Name: Pizza
TTC #2 since Feb 2013

Name: Zing
Children: yes
TTC since Aug 2013

Name:Curly
off pill since Nov 2012
TTC #1 since Mar 2013

Name: Fox
TTC #1 since Dec 2012

Name: Bearfacedchic
Kinder? Nooooo
Ttc #1 since forever it feels like but actually August 2011. Currently undergoing investigayshons.

Name: AQuarkTooFar
No Kids
Ttc #1 since nov 2012

Name: lil1ady
Dcs: no
TTC: #1 since Nov 12

Name: Fifi669
One DS
TTC#2 since April 13

Name: dulcetmoans
No kids
TTC: march 2012 with break

Name: BroodyTroody
Ttc #1 since Feb 2013

Name: Redshoes56
No kids
TTC: Hmm....May 2012. Also being poked by the FBI (f*ing barren investigation)

Name: minion
Kids: not for the lack of trying
TTC: officially the 1st jan but that's when I was ignorant and thought you get up duffed any time willy nilly, so let's say the 1st may

Name: alohomora
Kids: Two cats and a dog
TTC: This is cycle three

Name: AuntieMaggie
TTC: June 2013

Name: CivicBlue1
Ttc #2 since June 2013
1 dd aged 16

Name: ChubbyKitty
Off pill since April 2013
Ttc since August 2013
No kids

Name: Nessalina
Status: lurker and supporter, former viroid and currently enjoying 1st trimester with DC#1

Name : cookielove
Status: lurker and stalker who likes an eye on viroids for cheering on purposes
also in 1st trimester with DC#1

Name: FurryScoob
TTC #1 since July 2013

Name: Stepawayfromthezebras
TTC #1 Since August 2013

just updated roll call to add zebras

anyone else I missed?

I'm at pc today, so can add easily, just post here!

curly why are you giving up til new year?

Was it a wedding to attend I think?