Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Hmm. Thing is I'd already told them I would need the time off and roughly when it would be. I now just have to fill in the forms so I can't pull a sickie as they'd know anyway. I think I may call them again and ask for another letter tomorrow. That's a good idea. Thanks guys.

Them being the hospital obvs.

Good luck, bear! I hope that works out for you. What a run-around.

zing I will give him an extra hug but I probably won't tell him it's from a British woman I talk to on the internet about my uterus. Yeah, ladies, the "baby dust" was really great. I tucked it away in the bathroom cabinet. Maybe I'll throw it around when we get a BFP. Notice, I said when, not if. Feeling positive today! Gotta stay out of the funk....

Thanks Zing nice to meet the unicorn!

Minion I had the same thing last month ERDT lasted 7days followed by 4 days of spotting, it never seemed to end. Also got a crap diagnosis from Dr Goofle but gonna wait for AF this cycle & if its just as long I'm off to a proper doctor!

Hope it's over for you soon

welcome furry

minion my af always lasts over a week 3-4 days heavy flow, then it slows down for another few days then another few days spotting. I thought that was normal...is this something else I should go to the doc about? I'm making a list.

Pizza I think everyone's different, if that's normal for you it's probably nothing worry about, it's not normal for me so I scared myself to death with Dr Goofle!

Just dropping by to say Congrats Frog!!!! I remember you joining this thread around the same time as me and I can't believe you have a mini tadpole now! All the best to your family!

Hope everyone else is well, I am 1 week away from ERTD/BFP.

Hi everyone.
Can I just say AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

Thanks. I feel better now. One of my supposed friends, who has always been a bit of a handful is being a total moose and I am so exhausted by her. I just wish I could get my penny crayon pencil case out and erase her! Anyway, I am from this moment on not allowing it to upset me anymore.

JSing has fallen by the wayside the last couple of nights cos DH has a foul cold and I'm afraid I just can't go too close to the snot monster and I definitely don't want to shag him. Poor man.

Hope everyone is having an ok week.

Oh hopefully it's a one off then, could get expensive otherwise!
She's finally packed her bags and flounced off to some other poor unfortunate soul, so I should be getting jiggy with it from now.
Only problem is, will the husband want a threesome or not as I seem to have got a new friend, who won't leave me alone.
Day or night, she's there, making herself known, interrupting my me time, always present but in a different place.
Yesterday morning she's rather annoniyingly moved into the centre of my forehead.
I've never been so spotty!
This month hormones have a shit load to be blamed for.

my periods are so weird.
I have 3 days of really heavy bleeding which stops for a day or 2 then restarts with brownish rusty coloured discharge. that normally lasts from 3-5 days.

what is that all about?

and this month was even weirder. I only had proper bleeding for 48 hours then nothing and it came back after 5 days!

it's puzzling and it bothers me. I'm seeing GP tomorrow.

................................................
....................................................
...............................................
..........................................
......................................

? baby glitter!
(bloody tiring to type out on phone!)

Minion - snap! I have a spot that has developed in the middle of my forehead! I had to go to the loos at work this morning to look at it as I just felt it at my desk. Luckily it's not as dark as to be as noticeable as it feels but it's big and I am sure it will be a bugger in a day or so!

I'm probably heading into my TWOT. Does it count as a TWOT if my TWOT is actually like 10 days??

dulcet I think the "torture" bit is the operative bit there...no matter how long it lasts!

It's the right word too juniper! Haha.

downstairs
sorry to hear!

Sorry to hear that downstairs I had exactly the same thing and know what mixed emotions it brings. Look after yourself

Oh Downstairs- I'm so sorry. do look after yourself.

So, shaggers, I found out from my research that apparently anything between 2 and 7 days is considered normal for the length of a period. I think though of you've already got kids then there's no need to worry. From mine and my friends' experience though, docs don't seem to be able to tell why some women have longer periods than others. One of my friends had a 28 day period and had hospital tests but they couldn't find out why. My joke of a doctor really helpfully just shrugged her shoulders at me and didnt even offer to investigate. I think some women just have longer periods and it's not necessarily anything terrible. I think it's a bit like the 'standard' 30 day cycle/ 14 day luteal phase we're all supposed to have. They do say you should get anything out of the norm checked out though.

Hope everyone is okay. Brrrr- chilly isn't it?

Very sad to hear that news, Downstairs

Dulcet TWOT most definitely counts, even if it's 10 days! I am almost glad about my short luteal phase during the TWOT as it means fewer days during which I can obsess.

I am absolutely furious at DH right now. I am bending over backward to make this fertility stuff easy for him, including making an early morning appointment tomorrow to drop off his second sample for semen analysis so he doesn't have to miss any work. This means I am adding an hour to my morning commute, which is already 30-40 minutes, to drive his man juice around town so he doesn't have to. But I don't mind and I certainly didn't complain. So would you believe he gave me a hard time tonight when I reminded him about his task tomorrow? All he has to do is fill a damn cup! Really? All of a sudden he wants to go into work early when all he does normally is bitch about his regular start time? After some heated discussion, he declared that he will do his business "in your cup." MY CUP? Since when is this MY project and MY problem? I know he's super frustrated right now with work and grad school, and is perhaps at his limit, but honestly I could punch him. I guess this is when cavewoman would send her man to the couch, but seeing as he's already snoring up in the bed it seems I'll end up on the couch. Insult, meet injury.

What happened to the sweet man who was throwing literal baby dust around in the kitchen the other night?

OK, I'm done complaining.

Would be reaching for if I hadn't already brushed my teeth....

oh red

LTB ?

Hi downstairs
I'm sorry for what your going through and once youre feeling able to, we'll be here waiting with French fancies xxx

ERTD seems to have listened to her mistress and has been beaten into hiding for at least 30 odd days so its back on it. Sadly for me though I'm being shipped off to Cuba in my fertile week so I'll only be able to enjoy humpday the night before I should ice, on the day itself and the morning after as ive also got a wedding to go to.. It only takes once right?
Sigh grumble moan.

But at least the husband is getting on board. Last night out of the blue he asked me why I'd put a pass code on my period app. After looking incredulously at him for a wee moment I asked him if he remembered him telling me he didn't want to know when I was icing the cake so he wouldn't feel too pressured.
Huzzah, he seems to be coming to terms with it now and actually said 'well I want to be ready when you are so I can perform at my best'.
Only took you 9 months love.

minion @ only took 9 months

Downstairs. I'm so sorry to hear that. We're here for you when you feel up to chatting nonsense. xx

I made that curry last night from the Jamie show earlier this week. YUM! And there is enough left for tonight so I don't have to cook which is a bonus.

Nothing interesting to report, not sure where I am, but probably in the twot, but I have no idea when I iced as no signs. Will have to poas next Weds am because I have my colposcopy appointment (finally) and even though it says its ok to have it done when you are mit bebe they say they do like to know before hand if poss.