Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

Yay frog!! Hope it's all smiles in your house!

Google seems inconclusive on it showing on HPT essie. Sometimes not. I'm sure it's not that though, just being a hyperchondriac! Something is wrong though. I am not coping well at all! Not good for icing time. Got to feel better for later.

Congratulations Frog and Broody. fab news!!

On hols so not caught up on all the fred. Think af has caught me...the bitch! Been spotting since yesterday. I'm on cd 28 and 11dpo so thats pretty much the same as last cycle so she's bang on time. Really disappointed but didn't feel like this was 'our month' anyway despite peeing three times an hour yesterday afternoon.

My sil is likely to have her third baby in this cycle. Was convinced I would be pg by the time her baby arrived. Her eldest is same age as my ds so feels a little unfair she's had three in the time we've one she's a bit mad if you ask me 3 under 3.

At least it means I can drink gallons of wine on holiday guilt free .

Evening everyone!

Still trying to get my head around it, thank you for your nice wishes!

Congrats Frog!!

I was so convinced AF would arrive yesterday with cramps galore, but apparently not

When I'd been using OPKs before, they indicated I was icing around day 16/17/18 so we were JSing lots at that point, but this month we just enjoyed the bank holiday weekend off together (!) days 13/14/15 and it happened!

I haven't had any symptoms, only thing is my gag reflex was very weak today, but that's it, I kinda only did the test to go through the motions, I'd been waiting for Sunday so tested, iyswim?! I totally didn't expect it at all, in fact we're both a bit shell shocked, rabbits in headlights!

Fx for lots of BFPs!

congratulations broody, I do find these OPKs and days thing so interesting!

Commiserations pizzaqueen - enjoy your wine.

Thanks for the warm welcome.

dulcet sorry you're worrying about ectopic...after my own experiences I wonder sometimes why I'm trying again, there's so much to worry about. I hope you're feeling better now.

Congratulations Broody and Frog.

I'm away with work all week so no chance to dtd... I think I'm due to ovulate this week too so might be another month down the drain :(

Oh and Broody I remember someone saying that you have a better chance if the sperm is there before ovulation as the egg doesn't last long so looks like you timed it right :)

Hi everyone, mind if I join?

I'm new to mums net, I'm 33, on our 2nd cycle and according to mydays app, should be ovulating on Wednesday so it's all systems go!!

Congrats to broody and frog, you must be so excited!!! :-)

congrats Frog and Broody

welcome newbies! anyone who is not added to roll call yet please PM me with details of:
-name,
-which number of pg you are going for
-TTC since when/which cycle
plus anything else you want to add.

I CBA to read back for details - just PM and I'll add you all tomorrow!

(got a fucking cold! got stuck with tissues earlier so the choice was to either stuff some in my knickers quickly so I wouldn't pee myself or sneeze in my hands. I chose the latter.
good thing I was home! )

dulcet I'm icing today, as in the egg should drop right about now, and I have been feeling awful since yesterday - raised temperature, extreme queasiness, blinding headache, just awful.

How are you supposed to dtd when you feel like used trash?

Aloho
poor you. how indeed?

maybe you could remind yourself "some things don't need to be perfect, but only need to be done!"

Thanks all. Just being a drama queen I am sure. I know the aloho, timing couldn't be worse! I've been in bed since 3.30, just crawled out of my pit. Don't think he will DTD with me if I tried! Lol. I'm not at my most attractive and I am so warm he probably wouldn't cope! Not eaten either so I might faint anyway. What a state!

dulcet Do you have any herbal tea in the house? Spearmint/Peppermint or Chamomile tea, not too strongly brewed, and if you feel sick because you haven't eaten try some pretzels or dry toast maybe? It might help to settle your stomach.

Woo hoo Trood! Well done!

Yay Frog! So happy for you!

Sorry Auntie that you're having a rough time of it. Hope you get some shagging in soon.

Ertd got me today. so HSG it is for me next week it looks like. Really annoyingly I have to provide evidence of my appointment to my employer and the only letter I have says it's a HSG on it. Thought I'd google to see what it comes up with and first page said it was performed for investigating sub-fertility. Great! So work is going to find out when I don't want to tell them.

Sorry, moan over.

Hello to Baby and Juniper- welcome!

Hope you get well are upduffed soon Dulcet.

Hope you feel better soon too Aloho.

bear
I don't normally advocate stuff like this, but can you pull a sickie?

I think in this case I would. if possible.

Aww congrats broody, best of luck to you and the little bean. It's nice to have a BFP around.
Congrats frog on the safe arrival.

ERTD still hasn't fucked off. She's hung around for the longest cycle yet. A week so far, she's normally only here for 4 days so I'm pissed at the witch. I just don't know what's going on with me. Dr bastard goofle tells me maybe endometriosis, fibroids or PID, either way it makes conceiving even more difficult, I'm upset.

Oh my gosh, frog, already?! Congratulations! So pleased for you !

minion could just be a random "off" cycle, no? Hang in there .

bear that's crap. I'm with zing, maybe you can just call out sick? I did tell my boss what was with all my random doc appointments, but I have worked at my company for 10 years and I trust her. She's been great. But if you aren't ready to share, you shouldn't have to!

DH's FertilAid vitamins came in the mail today, and the company put a tiny plastic zippy pouch of "baby dust" in the box - little moon and star shaped confetti with a little message of good luck. He thought it very sweet, which I thought was hilarious (but also sweet). Cape: on!

Congrats to Broody & Frog

This unicorn must be really lucky where is it, I need to stroke its belly!

Congrats Broody!

Red, sorry for the shite news. Arf at the babydust, how sweet of them.
bear, I'd pull a sicky too.

No ertd for me yet, ds2 is 6wks old (didnt start bf). Dh really wants another but not in our current situation. Remind me to win the lottery this week.

Feeling much better today which is a relief. Sat with some jasmine tea now aloho, does that count??

I advocate the sickie approach too bear, if possible. It's a very personal thing to be TTC and I would hate to have to share with my boss.

Babydust red. That is pretty cute in a sickingly sweet kind of way!

Dr Goofle should have his medical license revoked minion, don't worry about him. He doesn't know what he's talking about!

dulcet Glad to hear you're feeling better - I think any kind of tea that feels comforting to you is great! I'm just a bit of a herbal girl.

red Babydust, haha! Does it come with instructions to strew it over the pillows before you dtd? Might poke you, though....

Well, one more day and I'll be officially in the TWOT. I still feel rubbish today and working until 8 today, wish I could call in sick but we're understaffed and I'd feel really guilty. Not that anyone else ever seems to care!

//..\

furry here's the unicorn!

red aawww at your DH being touched by lovely gesture! that made me well up! bless him!
(can you hug him for me or is that weird? )

Congrats Broody! Yay!
If it hasn't already been posted THIS is the link to the grads Fred. It's pretty slow moving, so should be that for a while now, lots of time for others to head over too
Frustrated on your behalf bear, is there anyway your GP can provide you with a more vague letter to give work? If they're sympathetic they may be able to, it doesn't seem fair that your boss has to know your business!

oh bear that sucks. Can't you blank out the bits you don't want them to see, then you are showing proof, and they must just respect that you aren't comfortable with them knowing your P&C business!

Midwives on again tonight in UK. Not going to help with annoyance at not being pg yet! Lol.

It's ov time and DTD day though so maybe this month!