Put on your capes and rub the Unicorn belly aka "my dear, please pour baby gravy on my egg!" - JUST SHAGGING PART 18!

[ZingWantsCake]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share and with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo;

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

The link to Part 17 is here

Happy shagging shaggers!

no grad thread link sorry, can someone else add this please?

If you have a strange name pm me and I'll try and find you.... I'm a Jones so it might be difficult to find me!

Fi- I can't find it?! thanks for doing it though

Ps. I may be wrong but I think you can change your security so that people in the group only see certain things about you if you want to preserve some privacy. Corre t me if I'm wrong someone. Can't remember how to do it though.

Actually it could be my phone being crap. No 3G ATM. Will try again tomorrow.

Maybe if I make it open that'll work? I'll try that now....

I can't find the group either.You could link to it here.

I won't join an open group though as I don't want friends/family to see. I think even with a closed group they could see I'm a member so it would need to be secret.

I think a lot of my 'mummy' friends are mumsnetters and always worried about getting outed .

fif a hearty congratulations on the BFP! Wonderful news.
I'll join, I have an odd name too so probably not hard for me to find however the company I work for has a big thing about social networking so have to have really tight security on my account, which means I can't be found...
Sooooo long story short, pm me and illfind you all.

Dads ok everyone, thanks for your wishes and it's shit but yes, life goes on. Spoke to him t'uther day and he says it's weird cause inside he actually feels fine, good even. But that's better cause obvs he has to be fighting fit for chemo!

3 days till ERTD and still nothing to show for it. Boobs don't hurt like they usually do, no cramps and very slight backache but that's me normally anyways. Am incredibly bunged up tho..... Hmmmmm..
Nope. Must not get excited and allows ones mind to dilly

I'm gutted I can't join the FB page but I'm a super secret TTCer and hence the need for the non-de-plume. I'd be more than dead if my some of my family find out aha. Anywhoo, how is everyone?:)

P.s Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween neurotic

I'm icing sometime this week & so far we've managed to DTD every other day.

I've grown a pumpkin this year, I was gonna make something to eat out of it but my inner child won & I've carved a scary face into it!

FB page sounds good but I can't find it either!

Hmmm... Trying to see if I can link using my phone. I've changed the name to icing enthusiasts while it's open.... Not embarrassing for anyone then!

m.facebook.com/groups/352944534851987?ref=bookmark&__user=647656419

Ok I've searched for it on a different account and it has come up....

I clicked the join button...eek

I have just hit the join group button too! Gulp.....

Maybe we could get everyone in then close the group?

Glad to hear your Dad is keeping positive and fighting fit minion. Fingers crossed your lack of ertd signs might mean a BFP!

Welcome Newbie Neurotic!

yeh we should get everyone in that wants to be then close the group, otherwise whole world could read our posts!

Then we could ask new jsers to pm the group admin to join. That way we won't get invaded by weirdos. which happened with our local breastfeeding support group, lots of grown men joined asking if we could send them booby milk as they love it and made lots of inappropriate sexual posts. Was gross.

Yeah my plan was to keep it open til everyone was in then either close it or make it secret.

WooWooWoo! I disappear for a day and you are all talking about relocating to FB!? I am an avid of FB but TTC is a secret so wouldn't want to out myself!

What filthy men wagga! Why would they think that would work?!

Got excited when you didn't give the test result bear, thought you might have been teasing! Sorry for the BFN; is it too early?

Glad your dad is feeling ok minion. It is a shit situation but defo easier to deal with if feeling physically fit. Can they start the chemo soon?

Minion has applied to FB group. She's the one with the 'zen' type name so if you see her, she's real.

Awww thanks ladies, haven't spoken to him for 2 days but I think they'll have him whipped in for chemo ASAP. I'm just waiting to hear start date so I can spend him something! Reckon flowers ok for a bloke?

Still no back ache other thn what's usually here and was thinking that breadsticks had died down but they came back last night.. Ouch.
Once again, must not get hopes up as this happens every month!

Balls.

What absolute Pervs requesting breast milk...though I did want to try the breastmilk ice cream at the ice creamists in covent garden, alas it was removed due to negative press.
We have a similar pervy following. Now you all know what I do for a living, skivvy well because we are on our feet up to 18 hours a day we go through cabin shoes pretty quickly... We can sell these on eBay to flight attendant foot fetish folks. And we can make even more by throwing in a pair of used tights!

There's some right odd bodds around sometimes,

Hey ladies
Was going to join the FB group, then realised all my crazy baking friends (what is it with everybody baking these days?!) would either be like: "hmm, Ness doesn't bake... " or "ooh, I love icing too!" and join the group, lol!! So I may wait til you go private and ask for an invite
Sorry to say that I'll be joining you full time back on this Fred very soon. Well, not sorry to be joining you, but sorry things didn't work out for my LO. Diagnosis of Turners syndrome with severe hydrops and v.bad prognosis for the pregnancy making it to term, so we've come to the heartbreaking decision to terminate. But the plan is not to dwell, but to get a new cape made up and get right back on that baby making wagon! I know there's specific freds for unlucky folk like me, and I'll probably lurk there too, but you guys make me giggle

Hi ness
Welcome back, I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened. There are no word which what I can give that will make you feel better but I promise we will strive to have you giggling like a schoolgirl meeting 1D soon enough.
Lots of love and hugs, rest and cake xxx

oh ness I am so sorry to hear that this must be such a tough time for you. Please use this thread to chat about it if you need to. we'll try to give you a good giggle soon too. be kind to yourselves!

Hi viroids!
OMG so much excitement in my absence and BFP and a FB group!
Howcome we are famous? I've missed that?

Way to go fifi! Massive congrats. Really chuffed for you.

I will also join the fb group. Good call.

Had 2 year wedding anni this week. Came on that morning with worst pains ever, effing typical! Thanks for that body!

Currently waiting for letter re my cervix, spoke to secretary about it on Friday last week and she said letter would be out to me this week but wouldn't tell me what it said on the phone which is very annoying!

My Gran had a hip replacement on Monday, she's doing amazingly, but they found a shadow on her lung yesterday after an xray and she'd been struggling to breathe since the op. She's going for a CT scan this afternoon. Hoping it's nothing major but she's 84 and I'm really worried.

No TTC news I'm afraid, currently avec ERTD though hoping to get shot of her soon.

Love to everyone. xx

Hello all, i got stuck on a thread about worst complaints for a couple days so funny but took forever to read.

Congratulations fifi such fabulous news.

Essie sorry to hear the news about your nan, hope she gets treatment soon!

Positive news for me would be that with Af gone now i can start ttc again, i have a really small window of ttc again so fx for me and dh.

I tried to join the fb group, love all that stuff my initials are SS. But not sure if have joined it as i can't see it in my group bit.

Buttery wow 16 weeks, i should be that!! Hope all is well with you and the rest of the Aprils!!